To all of those here that created a tulpa, how you first started "hearing" them?

[garland]

Hi

 

I have been a 1 month lurker so far, and i have been reading guides, and i am actually making my very first tulpa so far there was almost 1 month of tulpa forcing (mostly narrating), also the tulpa will be based on my avatar pic (Primella from the anime Blue Dragon). But something that confuses me is that part of getting to differenciate the toughts of the tulpa of my own. Yes i know there are guides for this, but i don't know if it's because of me being a asperger or having short attention span and interpretating everything literaly, some of those guides are very confusing to me too much "abstract", i understand things better when using examples or depending of the way that each person explains things, this is why i am asking for anyone that doesn't mind, to resume here how exactly feels like to "know" that it's really your tulpa talking and if there is any similar examples to what it feels like. For example, if it feels like remembering the voice of someone talking, if it's like random toughts with a extra weird feeing, etc etc.

 

I also know that it's different for everyone BUT, very probably my case will be similar to the experience of someone which already did this sucessfully, this is why it's best to me to read about as much experiences as possible so that i am better prepared for this.

 

So far at least with open eyes, i never had "different" toughts everytime i ask something to my tulpa, also unfortunately my mind has the tendency to make up answers instantly (altough after a few seconds there is almost complete silence) but i never notice anything different in my toughts.

 

Also for those that has some experience in hypnagogic imagery/image streaming state, must know that in that state we actually HEAR voices and at least in my case i sometimes have clear "vocal" toughts that doesn't sound like mine (usually it's small sentences but they make sense even tough it's completly random contexts) but i always had this long before knowing about tulpas, so probably everyone that achieves this state also has this, i wonder if those who can communicate with the tulpas with OPEN eyes, if the kind of thoughts of the tulpas DO FEEL in a similar way to the way those toughts in the hypnagogic imagery feel like... this would be great to judge progress later since i would have a perfect example, unless this is also different for everyone, but you see the problem here is that i already know of some people that spent months doing a tulpa and ignoring the tulpas toughts because the tulpa's thoughts felt exactly the same way as making up toughts and now i am afraid of this happening to me as well... Sure there is that tip of just "trusting" the toughts we doubt they are ours but by reading more about experiences in how each person learned to differenciate, the better general idea i have.

 

So if possible, i would prefer the most people possible to give feedback about that, instead of just one or two replying and then the rest not replying :D

[Linkzelda]

Hey garland, welcome to tulpa.info.

 

I just did exercises and sessions where I would memorize her voice in my head frequently and also narrated about her visually and tried to use that as a basis for other sensory descriptions and now she's very easy to visualize in my head (I had an easy time before, but things really started looking vivid and real to me these past few months). Being able to know how Eva would feel, how she would act, how she would express herself in all the scenarios I would imagine her in my narrating sessions helped a lot.

 

Then I just kept at it and just believed in her ability to respond to me. It takes a lot of effort to get it down unconsciously, which may sound like parroting to some, but I personally think that consciously listening to their voice as much as possible, even if their voice sounds redundant, can help a lot, as long as it's used as a transient or temporary way towards them eventually speaking with little to no conscious attention on your end. I just have to keep at it and look forward to her being able to talk more fluently with future mind-voice and auditory imposition attempts.

[Kiahdaj]

Guides are supposed to be abstract, because what's best is whatever is best for you--not what is best for someone else.

I can't imagine why aspergers would have anything to do with anything, when it comes to tulpas.

 

The most sure-fire way to hear your tulpa is to listen.

[Xantan]

I'm still at a point with Alice where it's hard to hear her, and she's still developing her sentience and her own thought stream. She tends to speak in shorter sentences but she'll get better.

 

I've read that a lot of people are in my position. It seems to get described as the tulpa talking to the host in the tulpa's voice, but using the host's thoughts. As an example, If i'm having a conversation with Alice, she'll often say things that are MY thoughts, but they sound and feel like they're coming from her.

 

Some other things I've read about narration say that you can ask your tulpa questions, but if you don't get a clear reply, keep talking. Tell your tulpa how you think they would feel about the question, and why. Alice is better with non-verbal communication, and uses nods and shakes to answer some of my simpler questions. If i'm confused about an answer i think she gave me i usually ask her if she said *blah* and see if she shakes her head or nods.

 

Anyways, I hope this helps you.

[garland]

I just did exercises and sessions where... I would memorize her voice in my head frequently and also narrated about her visually and tried to use that as a basis for other sensory descriptions and now she's very easy to visualize in my head (I had an easy time before, but things really started looking vivid and real to me these past few months). Being able to know how Eva would feel, how she would act, how she would express herself in all the scenarios I would imagine her in my narrating sessions helped a lot.

 

My kind of tulpa forcing is a bit unsual i think, because in my case i have a LOT of difficulty visualizing something as a whole and this makes it frustating, so i mostly rely on watching scenes or pictures from the anime (like the avatar pic for example) because the character has several body poses on the anime and after i watch the pictures a lot it becomes easier to visualize her, even tough it's mostly "remembering" the pictures and not exactly visualizing new angles, altough to compensate for this i narrate to her a LOT when i watch the pictures and i tell her that she should look like that, and i suggest things she can change and any possible "gaps" to fill about non visible angles, etc, this kind of visualization is a lot more comfortable to me, even tough of course sometimes i also do a bit of visualizing on my own without watching the pictures.

 

But that thing that you say about visualizing every single reaction from the tulpa in every single possible situation... that's a bit too much to me, i will have to rely on subconscious or the tulpa filling gaps and let's see what happens, fortunately i compensate that in narration, so far i usually narrate around 25 personality traits, 10-15 form traits and 10-15 skills/hobbies that i would like her to have, even tough i am not exactly visualizing her precise reactions every time but in some of the traits it's easier, for example the pic in my avatar it's more suited when i narrate to her about being very sweet and docile specially when comforting or forgiving me for something, but some traits are not so easy to visualize her reaction...

 

Then I just kept at it and just believed in her ability to respond to me. It takes a lot of effort to get it down unconsciously, which may sound like parroting to some, but I personally think that consciously listening to their voice as much as possible, even if their voice sounds redundant, can help a lot, as long as it's used as a transient or temporary way towards them eventually speaking with little to no conscious attention on your end. I just have to keep at it and look forward to her being able to talk more fluently with future mind-voice and auditory imposition attempts.

 

Yeah sometimes i am able to mentally imagine how the voice from the anime sounds like speaking what i imagine, i guess i should try doing that more often as well.

 

Well, in the hypnagogic imagery state i am almost sure that sometimes she spoke a word, and it was kinda weird, for example, once i asked her to talk and i heard my own name being said! And it was quite different from the usual voices in the hypnagogic state because it was a "voiceless" voice, it's kinda hard to describe but it's kinda like it seemed to me like a sound but i couldn't hear any voice but at the same time the word was very clear on my mind. This is quite different from the voices i usually hear in hypnagogic state, in which they are clear voices speaking short sentences and they don't seem to belong to me. Later in other sessions i got two or three more words, but after that i have been unable to get more words like this (also unfortunately the hypnagogic state is kinda hard to control most of the times and it's quite hard to focus on the tulpa on this state) and this tends to be a bit frustating, so i am start to pratice more with open eyes for now, for example i usually ask my tulpa to say something, usually i instantly get responses that my mind makes up but after that i just get mental silence.

 

Guides are supposed to be abstract, because what's best is whatever is best for you--not what is best for someone else. I can't imagine why aspergers would have anything to do with anything, when it comes to tulpas.

 

Yes aspergers has something to do to this (well not about tulpas like you say, but i mean the guides themselfs), because i usually tend to interpret things literally and i mostly follow guides to the letter in other situations in my life (not talking about this forum now) because there was a LOT of situations that i did things wrong because of not being able to "fill the logic gaps" in abstract guides. Although now that you say, indeed these guides are supposed to be like this, but because of this i have several doubts that aren't answered in any guide, and i have a lot of trouble finding what's "best for me" in something that i don't fully understand how it works, and i mostly keep doing most things by error and trial when i can't figure it's logic.

 

As an example, If i'm having a conversation with Alice, she'll often say things that are MY thoughts, but they sound and feel like they're coming from her.

Well, it's that part of "sounding and feeling" like they are coming from her that i have doubts, this is something that we develop naturally after a lot of narrating, right ? For example, probably it's in a gradual way...

 

Alice is better with non-verbal communication, and uses nods and shakes to answer some of my simpler questions. If i'm confused about an answer i think she gave me i usually ask her if she said *blah* and see if she shakes her head or nods.

Hum... that thing of nods and shakes how do you know she does that, if you have open eyes? Unless you mean you see her movement, much like when you remember visual things with open eyes, i presume the tulpas are able to actually "change" what you visualize or make such things appear on your mind like if you were remembering something, is that way it works? Even tough that's also something that my mind would also make up very easely too, unfortunately...

[Linkzelda]

I can sympathize with how difficult it must be to get to the stage of visualizing your tulpa at any situation and any angle. In order for anyone to do that, you'll have to rely on unconscious thoughts, or in your interpretation, sub-conscious thoughts to take the role; that's what it's there for, to take care of things that you wouldn't be able to do all at once consciously. And how you go about reaching unconscious competence is simply doing as much forcing as you can. Active forcing, like a user stated in a previous thread pretty much overrides anything in terms of getting results. Learn how to combine active forcing and passive forcing if you can, and it's just something you'll have to learn how to develop as the days and months go by.

 

And remember no matter how eloquent guides are that could solve the challenge you have with taking them literally, trial and error is pretty much inevitable. And word of advice, don't worry about terms like hypnagogic imagery and all that or having to reach the hypnagogic state. They're just concepts, and with what you stated before with taking things literally, that might be affecting how you conceptualize everything honestly.

 

I understand that you use videos as a basis to imagine her better, and it's perfectly alright for you to use an aid if you need to, but just remember that at some point you won't need to use those videos and you can visualize her with her mind. Just take small steps and don't be too bothered by the whole "visualizing her in all scenarios and all angles," that will come in time. Any moment you can visualize her on your own, whether it's just her head or something like that, go with it and be confident that your abilities will progress further in time.

[Shui]

Understand, I'm having the same visualization problem you are. I can see my tulpa's pictures, but I can't rotate her or change her pose. So this is just an untested idea, but maybe you can train your spacial visualization by working with something simpler.

 

Try imagining a cube that's a different color on each side, like a solved Rubik's cube. See how well you can rotate that in your mind. Rotate it in every direction you can. See if you get better at seeing it after working with it for an hour or so.

 

Of course your tulpa is not a cube, and maybe you time would be better spent visualizing her, as Linkzelda says. I don't know. Like I said, this is just an untested suggestion.

[Guest Tessa]

I first started hearing Ziv around about a month or two after I started "accidentely" forcing. She was actually created entirely on accident, far before I even knew what tulpas were.

 

One day, out of the blue, she just I just hear "Please stop ignoring me. I'm real, you know."

Needless to say, it was an interesting experience.

[garland]

Understand, I'm having the same visualization problem you are. I can see Fench's pictures, but I can't rotate her or change her pose. So this is just an untested idea, but maybe you can train your spacial visualization by working with something simpler.

 

Try imagining a cube that's a different color on each side, like a solved Rubik's cube. See how well you can rotate that in your mind. Rotate it in every direction you can. See if you get better at seeing it after working with it for an hour or so.

 

Of course your tulpa is not a cube, and maybe you time would be better spent visualizing her, as Linkzelda says. I don't know. Like I said, this is just an untested suggestion.

 

Wait a minute... that reminds me something, sometimes i USED to do a similar exercice, but with letters and numbers, i sometimes visualize a giant "A" or "2" 3d shape and make it visualize, and a few times, i actually entered the hypnagogic imagery stage from here and i actually SEEN those shapes like if it was with my own eyes! This is great and i love this state, the problem here is, the hypnagogic imagery state is quite "chaotic" specially in a day that we are more sleepy than usual and in that case almost impossible to control it. Also another big problem is this, this has done NOTHING to improve my visualition in mind's eye so far.

 

I first started hearing Ziv around about a month or two after I started "accidentely" forcing. She was actually created entirely on accident, far before I even knew what tulpas were.

 

One day, out of the blue, she just I just hear "Please stop ignoring me. I'm real, you know."

Needless to say, it was an interesting experience.

 

You hear her like a auditory hallucination or more like the same way we remember the voice from someone? Or yet, more like a voiceless verbal tought? Also are you able to specify what made it different from your normal touhts?Any unsuall feeling along with it perhaps? Also you were with open eyes?

[Maverickthecat]

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