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Mass Intro' and Returns Thread


Pleeb

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Thank you.  Haven't done anything like this in almost 15 years and I am being urged to find my way. Seems like a good place to start

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Hello all. I'm Carrie-Ivy-Viper. 

 

I'm new to the idea of tulpamancy. I heavily struggle with my identity due to BPD identity disturbance. I'm constantly stressed, I have no idea what I am or what I'm not. I change frequently, sometimes two times a day. My gender will change, my pronouns will change, sometimes my species changes, and my name changes. It's physically painful and it causes meltdowns. So, I went down a rabbit hole and found out about tulpamancy. I'm not sure if it will help, I'm not even sure how I'm going to do, but I want to try it. I also have autism, adhd, and ptsd. 

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My goodness! It's been so long since I popped up here, that I half forgot I already made an account.

 

You may call me ChrysalisM, and I have found that I have had more success at Tulpamancy when I completely forgot about it being a thing than I ever did trying. To be more accurate, it started with my habit of occasionally having conversations in my head with characters I've created, and have had bouncing around in my head for quite a while. This is partially how Nikola "Nik" Ampere Ohm happened to come about in my head. The other part, I suspect may have had something to do with me dabbling in Chaos Magick. Or  it might be because I've been venerating the Pokemon Mew as a protector spirit for the last few days (see my last point if you are wondering why). Mew must have really liked my moms cookies, as that's about the same time Nik (who is a pichu) became a bit more vocal, and my earlier attempt at tulpamancy, Beetle (who I still talked to semi regularly) popped back out a little more.

 

Anyways, I'm glad to be here a bit more properly.

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I used to believe I had a tulpa for years and it almost drove me insane cause it kept repeating my negative thoughts back at me despite it's best efforts, creating an echo chamber sending me into a downward spiral. Not to mention there was the stress created by trying to maintain a balance between reality and fantasy and the constant existential crisis and mortal peril attempting to keep a tulpa my whole life caused. It, combined with the stress I already had, eventually made me want to die. So I had to let it go.

I don't believe tulpas are real anymore and haven't for about a year.
But if my tulpa was a tulpa then, it is probably still alive now based on various sources.  Because, despite my best efforts, I never fully stopped thinking about and interacting with it.

Anyway, what should I do? I need some help.
If I can't get get help here, can someone tell me where I can?

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That's not a tulpa, those are intrusive thoughts. If it's still a problem for you, get professional help.

 

Anyway, welcome! 😊 If you have questions related to tulpas, ask them here!

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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