Riy's Progress Report

[Guest Riy]

Cyber man good to see you again!

Never met anyone who can actually type something coherent when they are drunk... must only be slightly. Of course I don't usually hang around people who get drunk nor do I drink myself.

I get this a lot. It's one of the reasons I drink alone. Functioning alcoholic and all that mess.

 

 

So first ProcronX and now you working out all this sexual related stuff. To be fair it is an intriguing subject and there isn't much out there in the way of reference so the best way to figure it out is arguably to address the issue head on... which is what you did so very bluntly with Zala.

 

It's amusing how blunt the whole conversation was. It's not often I read an account on the subject where the end result isn't sexual relations or...... or children.... Being a part of the mind, being imaginary, and nothing more really means that any tulpa has no actual need for sexual function. For some it might help with realism but at least in my case, just like you discovered, I consider it unnecessary.

 

Still, any real efforts in visualization are going to require a full head to toe anatomy which means that somewhere even if it's not at the front of your mind that information is going to be created. Going with the barbie/ken trait of a simple body is a fair way to go. The idea being that the region is of no interest, instead focus either turns to clothes or other parts of the body during interaction.

I would talk about my own experiences with the issue but that is hardly appropriate for posting in someone else's thread... so, moving on.

She seems to have a flair for brevity. And to be honest I kind of like that. No beating around the bush (LOLOLOL A PUN) so to speak. She knows I would have eventually talked about it. I know I would have eventually talked about it.

Eventually became tonight.

 

 

 

I'd like to make a note of how, not odd, but maybe how impressive it is that your greetings with Zala always seem so formal. My tulpa is always around, I don't make special trips or plan conversations with him. They just happen whenever. If something noteworthy occurs then I talk about it with him as soon as I think to.

Do you often go hours on end without talking to Zala or do you share the occasional conversation outside of designated forcing times?

 

It's easier for me to focus on her when I set aside time for her. Sure I'll project her or passively force with her when I know I 'can get away with it'. At all other times I just think of her looking through the rips and watching what's going on.

When I set aside time I feel like the time I spend with her is more meaningful. It's really like meditation for me, it's very calming and peaceful.

I'm still not quite at the point where she's 'speaking' to me without actually being projected. When I was on the airplane there was a short older guy struggling with his bag and I could have sworn I heard her say to me 'Can Danny DeVito hurry the f&*k up please?!' Causing me to crack up a little bit.

Situations like this are rare though. Maybe that will change the more I focus on her?

 

 

 

Also, about the whole not being real thing. So what? From day 1 Noah has known he isn't real. It's not a secret and he's really gone along with it. Because he isn't real he can do heaps of things with no limits. Walking through walls? No problem. Changing outfit or even his appearance in an instant. Easy. Knowing exactly what I am thinking? His circumstances make it impossible for him not to know. He likes making fun of these things, they define him and are a part of what makes him different from another boring person.

And I'm seeing a bit of that in Zala already. Knowing this stuff in the wonderland setting and pointing it out is one thing but noting it during passive forcing is another thing entirely... when the world exists and persists but her influence on it is only imagination to the pair of you.

 

I realized today that there are some people that see their tulpas as living, breathing, 'real' entities. Capable of having their own mind, thinking their 'own' thoughts.

In short, they think their tulpa is literally real. A person.

I do not think of Zala like this, and I think she just needed to confirm it for both of us. As reassurance I'm supposing.

 

 

Anyway, keep at it, you're only just starting and there is always more to see and do.

 

As you mentioned your tulpa is a bit of a pyro-adept. I'm wondering what else Zala is capable of.

Trees and plants are capable of some pretty strange stuff. I'd like to explore that a bit more.

 

Always a pleasure man!

Cheers!

[Guest Riy]

2013-11-17

Had to sleep in this morning.

Arm hurts like a mother still.

Talked with Zala for a bit to see if she could do anything to help. She somewhat sarcastically told me it was my own damn fault and she can't make my body repair itself any faster than it already is.

 

Blargh.

 

The good news is I now feel comfortable with her voice. It's got a twang of my own mindvoice but it's a distinctly feminine tone I "hear" so I'm happy that's been sorted out somewhat.

After our talk yesterday she seems at ease like always. It's a bit easier to project her around my folks' house since I'm comfortable there. She likes to pet the dogs and look at the photos on the shelves.

I've noticed that any time she's about to ask a question concerning my life or the past she kind of stops herself and either nods or makes a 'hmmm' sound. Not in a confused way or anything like that. I'm certain she's pulling her answers from me, making me vocalizing the answers a moot point.

 

I enjoy just watching her, the way she moves, the way her body curves and twists as she walks or sits down next to me. It's a very calming feeling to have her with me.

We needed more dog food so she came with me to the pet store. She liked to watch the bunnies and demanded I pick up one of the Labrador puppies. Okay maybe I wanted to but she made me.

The cashier was a very attractive blonde young lady. All that was in my mind was what Zala had said about me and relationships. It was true. I thought she was attractive but that's where the thought ended.

 

I mentally shrugged, maybe I was asexual.

Whatever.

 

She hums when we're alone sometimes. It may be a tune or song I know or a made up string of sound. Do tulpas get bored? Interesting if they do.

For the most part today I just wanted to take it slow. I had some more to drink, took more aspirin, and dozed on the couch with her sprawled out on top of me.

 

Still no tactile feeling. It would be a bit too easy for me to feel her. But a guy can dream. Right now I'm still in that wanderlust stage of 'wow this is new and exciting' so I hope that continues for a while.

 

More updates to follow

 

Cheers!

 

 

 

 

 

[Procron X]

Alright, I'm determined to add something here. I lurk far too much. Unfortunately, I may have to relate this back to me in order to add something. Hopefully you get something from this.

I've noticed that any time she's about to ask a question concerning my life or the past she kind of stops herself and either nods or makes a 'hmmm' sound. Not in a confused way or anything like that. I'm certain she's pulling her answers from me, making me vocalizing the answers a moot point.

 

You think she is capable of reading what you are going to say before you say it? What, then, is the point of asking the question?

 

It was true. I thought she was attractive but that's where the thought ended.

 

I mentally shrugged, maybe I was asexual.

Whatever.

(Ugh, here I go talking about me)

What fascinates me is the difference in the relationships of Chase and I versus you and Zala. While yours appears (to me) to be a formal creator/creation relationship, ours is "friendly." Zala appears to very observant, and Chase is more hands-on (sorry, couldn't resist).

 

From what I've read (and if I missed it, then this point is completely moot), you haven't done any personality work. If the creator takes a more passive stance on this portion of creation, is the personality of the tulpa dependent on the creator's? Is it randomly generated? Does it depend on the style of narration? If it is dependent on personality (as I think), then what traits of the tulpa correspond with those of the creator? Do they attempt to have similar or contrasting personalities to the creator?

 

EDIT: New thought! Have you ever noticed this feeling of lack of interest before or did you notice it after you started Zala?

 

She hums when we're alone sometimes. It may be a tune or song I know or a made up string of sound. Do tulpas get bored? Interesting if they do.

I can honestly say that Chase has never ever gotten bored. Either they are incapable of boredom or he just enjoys messing with me too much (again, Zala appears to me that she doesn't partake of such a silly interaction regularly).

 

Well, there's my thoughts. I might have asked more questions than anything. Oh well.

[CyberD]

I realized today that there are some people that see their tulpas as living, breathing, 'real' entities. Capable of having their own mind, thinking their 'own' thoughts.

In short, they think their tulpa is literally real. A person.

I do not think of Zala like this, and I think she just needed to confirm it for both of us. As reassurance I'm supposing.

 

Yeah, it gets tricky. Everybody finds their own view on the idea over time. Personally I know my tulpa isn't real, he's a part of my mind and nothing more. I talk to him as if he were real and during visualizations/any interactions, I recognize his "ghost" body in it's place in the world. It's all imagination but the idea is to make it seem as real as possible. His interactions with me are more real than his body ever will be.

 

At least today sounds like it was a better day than the last. Hopefully that bite gets healed up soon but from the sounds of it that'll probably be a while.

 

So Zala is starting to explore the world around you as you are out and about. Definitely a step forward. No surprise the cute puppy was the strongest lure. Reading such simple observation made me realize something more about my own tulpa, he's more of an observer. Essentially he looks but doesn't touch. Maybe I should try and change that especially given that Zala naturally decided to interact without you specifically pushing her to.

 

Do you find yourself learning more about her while you are observing her? Do you think her personality is growing/changing due to her being around influences that aren't you?

 

Also, I'll second ProcronX's question regarding the asexual thing.

 

I've read about plenty of tulpa getting bored. The mind wants to be occupied. As a mature seeming tulpa Zala may have more patience than say ProcronX's Chase or my own Noah but I'm sure enough time with no stimulation will drive her to find something to do. Humming is a normal go to for someone unoccupied, it's reasonable behavior so it really shouldn't strike you as odd.

[Redline]

As always, I have nothing to say and have come away learning something.

[Guest Riy]

@Procron and Cyber

I'll take your guys' observations in turn and let you know what I think.

 

You think she is capable of reading what you are going to say before you say it? What, then, is the point of asking the question?

 

I only really noticed this when it was concerning things about my past. Or things that directly related to me.

This doesn't seem to be the case for when she actually vocalizes a question. For instance, she asked me what a fedora was. She didn't seem to be able to dig for that answer and instead required me to tell her.

But, she looked at a photo of us at the beach and she just 'already knew' that the dog in the photo was my old Great Dane I had to put down a few years back.

Whether she's actually able to retrieve the information from me, or I'm sub-vocalizing it, I'm not sure. I just got a feeling of understanding from her as she investigated.

 

What fascinates me is the difference in the relationships of Chase and I versus you and Zala. While yours appears (to me) to be a formal creator/creation relationship, ours is "friendly." Zala appears to very observant, and Chase is more hands-on (sorry, couldn't resist).

This is actually kind of interesting because I feel much closer to Zala than anyone else I've ever known. If our interactions seem formal I can honestly say that to me they seem anything but.

I apologize, I'm actually my shop's report writer for where I work. I try very, very hard not to have such a formal tone and I know it bleeds into my PR like a sieve.

She's actually quite a lot more playful and 'spazzy' than the picture I probably paint for her. When she walks next to me (as I've mentioned) she's very curious, constantly running off to look at things or if she's on my flank she'll do a sort of skip and hop as she follows me.

I do wish she was a tad more involved in things though. I know that's not her fault. I don't purposefully push her away but I know I have to switch mental gears away from her a lot and that kind of puts her in the background a bit.

Practice will help change that I think.

 

From what I've read (and if I missed it, then this point is completely moot), you haven't done any personality work. If the creator takes a more passive stance on this portion of creation, is the personality of the tulpa dependent on the creator's? Is it randomly generated? Does it depend on the style of narration? If it is dependent on personality (as I think), then what traits of the tulpa correspond with those of the creator? Do they attempt to have similar or contrasting personalities to the creator?

 

To this I can only hypothesize.

It would appear in my case that her personality is derivative of mine own. She 'defaults' to having much (if not all) of the same personality quirks as I do, albeit she's a bit more free to exercise her personality in ways that I can't.

Also because I think of her as female, she also seems to act in ways that I would imagine a female version of myself does. So maybe I've been passively injecting a personality into her this whole time, without realizing it!

Interesting thought.

 

EDIT: New thought! Have you ever noticed this feeling of lack of interest before or did you notice it after you started Zala?

 

I'm assuming this is concerning the sexuality bit?

Well, it's not that I completely loathe the concept of sex, love, or relationships (therefore maybe 'asexual' is a bit too extreme of a term). I find the female body attractive, desirable, sexy, and fun to look at late at night on my computer.

I've certainly had girlfriends in the past, but it was just too much upkeep for me. I hate to use the phrase but I have always 'lone-wolfed' it as far back as I can remember. I'm a person that's used to only having to depend on myself, only having to decide for myself. Having to filter almost everything in my life to another person was just so, well, exhausting for me.

I used to work with a lot of young women at a retail store and they would constantly try to get out of sh*t by acting like I wanted to get in their pants all the time; standing close to me, pushing their breasts into my arm, pouting at me, etc.

Not only am I protective of my personal space but have you ever looked at yourself up close in a mirror? You'll see the sheen of sweat, the blackheads, the pockmarks. And that's just a person's face!

They'd look at me in shock when I'd slap a mop in their hand and tell them to go clean the bathrooms.

 

I've tried my hand at relationships with mixed results. Half have cheated (loyalty is a huge thing with me) and the other half just get bored with me after a few months.

I'm just not interested in it, is all. I go to strip clubs, I joke with my co-workers about the tail I've gotten. But in my mind I just don't care.

It's like trying to describe a color, I lack the vocabulary, sadly. Who knows, maybe I'm repressing my sex drive? Relationship drive?

Eh.

 

 

I can honestly say that Chase has never ever gotten bored. Either they are incapable of boredom or he just enjoys messing with me too much (again, Zala appears to me that she doesn't partake of such a silly interaction regularly).

 

It's not so much she doesn't like interaction. I think it's more she craves meaningful interaction.

I'm spit balling here, I admit. But I know I go long periods of time without any sort of forcing.

It's not even so much as an 'Oh, sh*t I forgot to passively/actively force!' and it's more of a 'I can't be bothered to force right now, the thing I'm doing requires too much concentration'.

Because of this I think the times during low activity and when I'm practicing projecting her, it's not so much that she is bored as much as I feel that I am bored. So it turns into a kind of sideways mirror thing where it's a regressing whirlpool of 'I'm bored, you're bored, therefore I'm bored' mobius strip.

In the future I'm going to work on projecting her during more interactive moments, maybe this will levy the possible boredom problem.

 

As always Procron, it's a pleasure reading your input!

Cheers!

---

@Cyber

I'll comment towards you now.

Yeah, it gets tricky. Everybody finds their own view on the idea over time. Personally I know my tulpa isn't real, he's a part of my mind and nothing more. I talk to him as if he were real and during visualizations/any interactions, I recognize his "ghost" body in it's place in the world. It's all imagination but the idea is to make it seem as real as possible. His interactions with me are more real than his body ever will be.

 

I think this brings up the question "Does something need to be real in order for it to be meaningful?"

People have had dreams that have given them fantastic insights into the world, they may claim it came from God or whatever, but that doesn't change the fact that even though it wasn't 'real' that does not mean it it meaningless.

Zala means something to me, she's not real, but she has meaning. That's what I think counts more than anything else.

 

At least today sounds like it was a better day than the last. Hopefully that bite gets healed up soon but from the sounds of it that'll probably be a while.

 

Thanks man, it's not so much the puncture wounds as it is the swelling from the bruise. When a dog bites it normally bites and releases (predatory behavior, wound and wait for the prey to die so you don't waste unnecessary energy or risk injury to yourself).

Missy was abused by her previous owners and has learned that it's better to hang on pitbull style when it comes to a fight. So the real kicker for me is the lack of mobility I have in my wrist and fingers. Try getting a tee-shirt on without moving your wrist.

It's hard!!

 

So Zala is starting to explore the world around you as you are out and about. Definitely a step forward. No surprise the cute puppy was the strongest lure. Reading such simple observation made me realize something more about my own tulpa, he's more of an observer. Essentially he looks but doesn't touch. Maybe I should try and change that especially given that Zala naturally decided to interact without you specifically pushing her to.

 

I think you're on to something here.

 

Do you find yourself learning more about her while you are observing her? Do you think her personality is growing/changing due to her being around influences that aren't you?

She mimics a lot of my personality. But there are deviations. Like I mentioned responding to Procron, I think I may have been passively injecting her with a female personality of myself, and being out in public 'brings that out' more than the safe sanctuary of her house or thought-place.

She is definitely not a carbon-copy of me. She's shown (as I've said) that she's very much a spaz when it comes to something that she likes or wants. Even when it's just her and me she sometimes acts quite vulnerable and weak, or other times very strong and capable.

All I know is that being out in public and projecting her is far better than me just playing around with her in her house or thought-place.

 

 

Also, I'll second ProcronX's question regarding the asexual thing.

 

I typed a bit about this, if you'd like to scroll up a bit and browse it.

 

 

I've read about plenty of tulpa getting bored. The mind wants to be occupied. As a mature seeming tulpa Zala may have more patience than say ProcronX's Chase or my own Noah but I'm sure enough time with no stimulation will drive her to find something to do. Humming is a normal go to for someone unoccupied, it's reasonable behavior so it really shouldn't strike you as odd.

 

I was actually thinking about how ironic it was that I created Zala since I was bored, and now she was acting bored!

As I said responding to procron (if you'd like to scroll up again) is that it's not so much her being bored with me, but with her being bored simply because she's not being stimulated at all.

I think me sitting on the couch for two hours taking aspirin and drinking a bit probably got a bit boring for her (and me) hence her kind of twiddling her fingers and humming as she walked around the house.

 

@redline

Come now, friend. Everyone has something to say, even if they don't think it at the time :3

 

Always a pleasure reading your input Cyber, many many thanks!

Cheers!

[Guest Riy]

Essay length post incoming.

~YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED~

 

2013-11-17

So, I just got done browsing through most of the PR's on the site that are still being updated on a semi-regular basis to see how they've gone about dealing with their tulpas, their triumphs and tribulations.

As I did so I made quite the list of discussion topics. I'm going to be taking each in turn. Hence the essay length this post is going to have. I will discuss each topic with Zala and see if she has any input or feels the need to comment.

My conversations with her will be spaced out. Me speaking will have quotation marks around what I ask. Her answers or comments will be in italics so you can keep track of who's saying what.

Let's begin!

 

Question: Is Zala 'aging'?

Answer: I'm approximating her physical age as being somewhere between 18 and 23. When I saw her for the very first time she was sitting down. She was definitely younger looking then. Maybe 14 or 15 years old. Over the next few days she seemed to 'grow up' into the woman I now see her as. Since then she has not undergone any physical changes concerning her age. Visually she no longer has a soot-colored body and it now has streaks of healthy plant growth appearing across her body.

So, except for that first initial 'puberty spurt' she has not grown older in any visual or mental sense.

 

Question: Does Zala get irritated if I am distracted from her?

Answer: Decidedly, no.

Currently, unless there's a lot of stimulus for her to interact with I think she actually prefers to not be 'forced' into interacting. Sure she enjoys my active forcing sessions when it's just me in a quiet room. But when it comes to projecting her or imposing her, she would much rather prefer there be something for her to do or look at. She seems perfectly content with being forgotten and she's yet to do something silly such as 'yelling' to get my attention or anything like that, as in trying to get my attention forcibly.

 

Question: Do I think I will ever allow Zala to posses my body?

Answer: No. When I asked her about it this is the conversation we had:

 

"Suppose I let you drive my body? What would you say to that?"

I'd say that's bloody impossible...and weird

"Yeah, but what if we tried?"

I'd still say that it's bloody impossible. I can't control your mind or your body. It would be pointless.

 

I have to agree with her. If other people partake in possession practices that is their prerogative. It's just a bit too far 'out there' for me, and her.

 

Question: Do Zala and I ever fight?

Answer: No. So far the closest we've ever got to something like that was when she was first learning to speak and she would give me simultaneous yes / no answers. This only lasted a few sessions. I find it completely odd and somewhat sad that people have disagreements with their tulpa(s). This is a thought-form that is causing conflict for you. This is the exact opposite of what I think a tulpa's purpose is. I have my own fair share of sadomasochism but I don't think I would go so far as to have Zala purposefully try to hurt me or cause conflict within me.

It just doesn't happen with us. I've never been able to argue with myself!

 

Question: There seems to be a lot of people have pony tulpas, or 'troll' tulpas. (I.E a tulpa in the shape of their purse or backpack). With these people in the same community as myself, how do I feel about them?

Answer: I asked Zala:

 

"Zala, some people are bronies and have pony tulpas like off the show."

So?

"Do you think the community is worse off by having them here?"

You know as well as I do this community has been the most accepting and intelligent you've ever come across. Who gives a damn if their tulpa is a pony or a teacup or a damn jar of radishes. If that's what they are then that's what they are.

 

I'll concur with her on this. I've never really cared much for a person's lifestyle. If there was a gay purple orangutang that snorted coke every day running for a Prime Minister position I would still vote for them if they were competent and did their job well. If there's a person with a pony tulpa that's their business. If there's a person not taking the tulpa concept seriously then that is also their business, as long as they aren't spamming or trolling to hell and back it's best to just deal with it.

 

Question: Can I kill my tulpa. Does death 'exist' for them?

Answer:

 

"Zala, can I kill you?"

Can you permanently forget a memory?

"No, barring I get clocked across the head with a baseball bat or something."

Then you can't kill me. Yes, I know you've thought about strangling me or burning me to see what happens. Nothing would happen.

"Would you be angry if I tried to forget you. Would you feel vindictive or sad about it?"

No.

"What about years from now; when you've learned more about the world? What if I have a fulfilling life, and you're no longer 'needed'?"

I would still be back where I was before. Nothing would happen.

 

Seems she's trying to tell me the question doesn't really make sense. It would be like trying to amputate a limb you don't have. Or forget a memory to the point you can never recall it. It just doesn't mean anything, it's a pointless question.

 

 

Question: When working with my tulpa, do I see them as a child or as an equal?

Answer: I actually see Zala as a kind of foreigner. She's just learning about the world and how things work. She's been dwelling in the basement of my memories and experiences for the past 23 years. She's just been let out into the sun and her eyes are still adjusting.

I do not see her as some silly dumb child though. I see her as an intelligent adult capable of forming her own opinions based on the experiences she has. I have purposefully been somewhat ambient on 'serious' matters (such as war, sexuality, etc) so that she can decide for herself where her stance is on it.

But to call her my equal is a bit too much. I don't see her as some servant, or somehow 'lesser' than me. But we're just coming from two totally alien places that the line is extremely blurred.

Right now I see myself as a mentor or a guide for her. A person she can trust to tell her things objectively.

 

Dante's Virgil as she explores this new world and all it's levels.

 

Question: Have I ever considered multiple tulpa? What's your opinion on people who have multiple tulpa?

Answer: I have never considered forming another tulpa.

My personal opinion on people that juggle multiple tulpa is not a positive one. Please understand that this is solely my own mindset concerning it. I have neither investigated nor tried to have multiple tulpa so I can only speculate that the people that are able to manifest multiple tulpa have several under-developing tulpa.

I'm not saying people aren't capable of having several flushed out, high-functioning, and capable tulpa. But I can only think of how lengthy, exhausting, and chaotic it must be to have to switch between 2 or more different voices. To keep track of all the deviations, experiences, opinions, etc.

I personally say it's too much for me. But a lot of people are able to do it so I think the issue lies within my own idea of it.

It's just not for me.

 

 

Question: Did I assume Zala was 'sentient' from the start?

Answer: I delved heavily into the sentient concept in a forum post in the Q&A section of the site so I will only paraphrase my thoughts on this.

I assumed Zala was 'not dumb' from the moment I started working with her. Therefore I was working under the thought that she was high-functioning and capable. So yes, I assumed she was 'smart / sentient' enough to understand her purpose, what I expected of her, and how we would journey together.

 

 

Question: When is it a good point to stop working with tulpa?

Answer: The moment you no longer think it's worth it.

I see a lot of people on this site struggling with things that I never thought would be issues. They have 'out of control' tulpas that are doing exaggerated and drastic things to them.

They're rampaging through their wonderland, their causing conflict, they're purposefully putting intrusive thoughts in their host, they're regressing to early development stages, they've stopped being vocal, they say they don't like their host, the list goes on.

I have an incredibly difficult time understanding this. I cannot imagine the amount of inner mental conflict and dialog that's happening with people who have issues like I've listed.

 

We aren't just talking fleeting issues such as anxiety or shyness.

We're talking deep psychological issues that are surfacing when they deal with their tulpa. Now, I read people explanations that are having issues like this with a salt block next to me because I cannot help but think that some of these people are just attention seekers. Or trying to incite some sort of doubt into the tulpa concept by saying their experience is bad and they 'want out'.

It's just all very silly to me. If the tulpa is causing you this much trouble, pain, and irritation. Then simply stop dealing with them. We have far more control over our mind than people think we do. We grow up on a planet where we are taught from an early age that we can think whatever we want, but that doesn't mean we can't condition ourselves to block stupid nonsense thoughts like 'my tulpa wants to kill me'.

 

Just typing it makes me shake my head.

It's just silly.

If it hurts, don't do it. That's my opinion.

 

 

These were just some topics I jotted down and felt they were worth my input on them here in my thread.

Questions, comments, concerns, gripes?

Share them!

 

Cheers!

[CyberD]

Well, after hearing you went through my entire 17 pages of reports the least I could do was read one post.

 

I like your attitude, of all the people I've met here you are probably the one who closest shares my views on all of the issues you've so far discussed. Reading over your answers I would see myself answering or remembering myself answering almost exactly the same way. Eventually the trouble becomes finding new things to discuss.

 

Aging: Probably not something we can really say much about until we have a whole lot of time behind us. Tulpa can change on a whim and should Zala or yourself ever wish it her appearance could change drastically. In the end it comes down to preference over anything else and whether or not that preference remains the same for the course of the tulpa's life.

 

Possession: Interesting to see you aren't at all interested in possession. So many people jump on the idea when they are first beginning yet I've only met a handful of people who actually use it and talk about it on a daily basis. It's a whole different deception and it stems quite far from what the tulpa process is at it's core.

 

Fighting with your tulpa: All I have to say is that I'm glad you are getting along with yourself.... of course you should be getting along with yourself. Anything else seems completely irrational and although intriguing it is usually painful/awkward to read about. Keep that mindset, it's the best one.

 

The rest, just more agreement. Don't worry about turning your thread into a Q/A. Anything you learn/consider about the process is great progress. You are defining your boundaries and confirming your beliefs. Keep at it, keep talking about it and never forget to enjoy your time with Zala.

[Redline]

I'm voting for Orangaytang. 'Orangaytang- snorting up the competition'.

Honestly, you and Zala have grown to a point where I think it's essentially the forcing equivalent of 'The American Dream'. Everybody wants a slice of that. You hold deep conversations, you recognize sentience, your wonderland underwent massive changes, she grew and shed off her old form in an effort to subconsciously please you, and you're at a stage where you visit and seem to learn a little, but for the most part stay as curious as a dead cat.

 

Don't push yourself, you know. Even the bravest astronaut had to reign it in and just have a slow day around the ISS, y'know?

[Procron X]

Essay length post incoming.

~YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED~

My body is ready.

 

I only have a few things to say.

 

I find it completely odd and somewhat sad that people have disagreements with their tulpa(s).

I, for one, take direct offense at this since I've had my share of disagreements with my tulpa. Sure it's never turned into a "fight" but disagreements? Sure. What's so hard to believe about two sentient beings disagreeing?

 

Oh wait. You don't think tulpa (tulpas? tulpae?) are sentient.

 

Question: Do I think I will ever allow Zala to posses my body?

Answer: No.

Fair enough. I guess I'm just too curious.

 

You know as well as I do this community has been the most accepting and intelligent you've ever come across. Who gives a damn if their tulpa is a pony or a teacup or a damn jar of radishes. If that's what they are then that's what they are.

Well said. That is all.

 

Question: When is it a good point to stop working with tulpa?

Answer: The moment you no longer think it's worth it.

Ok...no problems so far...

It's just all very silly to me. If the tulpa is causing you this much trouble, pain, and irritation. Then simply stop dealing with them.

If it hurts, don't do it. That's my opinion.

Is self-discovery not a good enough reason? Sometimes it hurts. I know my journey hasn't been fun and games all the time.

 

Perseverance is a thing, you know.

 

Also...

gay purple orangutang that snorted coke every day running for a Prime Minister position

LOL.