Phenom

Phenom and Fiora :: Progress Report

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Hi everyone!

 

I learned about tulpas about.. a bit less than 2 weeks ago. I started making one yesterday.

 

I started by presenting myself to her. Telling her details about me, such as what I do for a living, what I want to do for a living, my dreams, things I like, etc. Then told her what I was doing (making her) and why.

 

After that, I started forcing personality, by talking to her about herself. Telling her traits and explaining how it manifests itself in her. I made it known that she is free to alter anything I suggest, and that the most important thing is to be herself. I also showed her the "base model" I use for her, which is a character from Xenoblade called Fiora. I let her know that she is not that character, neither do I want her to be. It's a model to help me visualize her look and personality, but she can change everything she doesn't like about it. I made sure to pick a character I respect a lot and not one I lust for.

 

After that, we listened to music together. I talked a bit from time to time to describe what we were listening to, but most of it was just listening to it while thinking about sharing the moment and emotions the music produces in me with her.

 

I tried to visualize her with my mind-eye, but I'm not sure why I couldn't see anything at all (all black, haven't practiced doing that in too long I guess), so instead while listening to the music I tried to impose her sitting at the chair next to me, I couldn't manage to see her but I could feel her presence/aura at that location.

 

I hope she enjoyed that moment as much as I did. I feel that listening to the music with her made it even better than if I would have been alone.

 

That was my first day. I told her I was glad to have spent Christmas Eve with her. (Yep, just us two.)

 

---------

 

Second day (today), I narrated to her as much as I can (well I guess I could even more honestly).

 

In early afternoon, I did an intense forcing session.

 

I tried to visualize again. I tried what I read in a guide (the beach thing - sorry can't remember the guide) but it didn't work at all. After a while, I tried visualizing again, this time only her, and couldn't do it when I was trying to picture her body, but after a while I saw some kind of green cloud and it felt like it was her. I then talked to her for a long time.

 

That's when I got my first "head pressure". It was really intense but I told myself it was probably a good sign (I did, after all, visualize her green cloud - so kinda saw her for the first time). It lasted maybe 2 hours (the big head pressure). I still feel a very small pressure, but nothing like earlier.

 

Then I took a break, read a One Piece chapter to her, took another small break, then sat comfortably on my sofa. Tried visualizing again. I think I manage to kinda make some kind of wonderland, using my old home as a model, but it was still a lot foggy and blurry. I think it will only really be a wonderland if I can manage to go back there many times, right? Also, it's not like I really was there... didn't feel like it. Just imagined the place and could see it a bit. Anyway, still better than my previous sessions.

 

I didn't get head pressure from doing that. Seems to be only when I focus very hard to see my tulpa.

 

Then I decided to start writing a progress report, because, why not?

 

I hope I get better at visualizing soon. Also, can't wait to hear a response from her. But I told her I don't want to put pressure on her, and she can take the time she needs.

 

I'll report again later. Tomorrow I'm going to visit family, and I'll be visiting a couple family members for the next couple days, so I'm not sure I'll have time to report back; however, I'm bringing my ipad with me so it could be possible you hear from me IF I make any good progress. I'll try to continue narrating and think about Fiora even when with family.

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Guest Anonymous

Hey Phenom, great to have you on the forums, also you made a good choice making a progress report. Mine has helped me when I was stuck and reading other peoples posts helps as well.

 

It also sounds like you're making good progress, keep up the good work and you'll see Fiora in no time. :)

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I only recently started a heavy influence of passive forcing in my day to day life. it sounds like you have the right mindset from the start. good luck, and to Fiora; Welcome to existence, i hope you enjoy your time.


"The way is in training."

- Miyamoto Musashi

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First of all, thanks for posting in our thread.

 

I'm back from visiting family. Here's my progress up to now.

 

Day 3, 4, 5 and 6;

 

I managed to think about Fiora a lot during those days, and narrate to her a bit even when surrounded by family members. Sometimes I was going to the living room, feigning being too sleepy, but I was for real spending the time narrating to Fiora. I also tried visualizing but it didn't work well. I haven't made much progress at all when it comes to visualization.

 

Honestly, I could have narrated to her a lot more and feel a bit bad about it, but it would have been too hard to keep a discussion going with the family at the same time. At some points I was caught "smiling for no reason" and stuff like that while narrating, and my sister even asked me about it, so I had to answer "oh, just thought about something funny".

 

The biggest progress was just before sleeping on day 5. I narrated for maybe 30-45 minutes (after failing to visualize), and then instead of telling her stuff I started telling her what's all the questions I would like the most to ask her at that moment. I felt emotions (as some kind of answer?) which I think might be coming from her... but I had to stop and sleep because I was very sleepy and noticed it was like 3:30 AM and it was my chance to finally manage to sleep while my father had stopped snoring (was sleeping in same room than him that day).

 

Today is day 7, but haven't done much so far. I'll narrate or something during the evening, I'll report back either before going to sleep or tomorrow.

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Day 7, didn't end up doing much. A friend of mine came to my place, so I only thought about Fiora a little bit, and narrated a tiny bit.

 

Day 8, I narrated more than yesterday, but I feel like I could have done a lot more. I always feel like that these days.

 

I also tried a big visualization session during the afternoon, but I still can't see for shit. It's not getting better, and I even fell asleep during the process and had a dream. Fiora wasn't in it if I remember correctly. In it, I was playing a video game with a friend until my vision started to become blurry, and I heard a woman voice saying something about me being intoxicated and/or hallucinating; that voice actually woke me up, and I quickly asked Fiora if it was her. I got no response and figured it couldn't have been her since it wouldn't make sense... well that's what I think, can't be sure about anything.. (EDIT: Now that I think about it, it could have been her explaining to me why in my dream my vision was becoming blurry? Can a tulpa actually see the hosts' dream and comment?)

 

I listened to some music with her, and then played a video game while narrating at the same time; turned out I didn't have much to say other than "f*ck" when dying, and a short sentence once in a while.

 

That's it for now.

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Guest Anonymous

I have had two instances when mine had seen or joined my dream. One I know Buddy and Betty were in, and the other had Buddy watching it. I've also asked Betty to make a dream for me and that actually worked, but being a heavy sleeper, I can only really see this when I'm about to wake up.

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I have had two instances when mine had seen or joined my dream. One I know Buddy and Betty were in, and the other had Buddy watching it. I've also asked Betty to make a dream for me and that actually worked, but being a heavy sleeper, I can only really see this when I'm about to wake up.

 

Now I'm kinda excited at the idea that it could have been her. XD

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Day 9

 

Not much to say. Tried visualizing again but it only unmotivated me as I couldn't see a thing. Also fell asleep again. I also tried to hear her, which also unmotivated me as I couldn't do it. Bleh. Still narrated a bit during the day (not much... I'm sorry Fiora).

 

However, later in the evening, I worked many hours on her personality, and finally got head pressures again, which got me motivated again.

 

 

Day 10

 

I had something important to do today, but ended up worrying about Fiora instead, so I listened to music with her and narrated to her. Not that much to be honest. Again, I'm sorry Fiora. I also tried to hear her again after reading more guides, and failed, but instead of unmotivating me I accepted that I'm just trying to push things to quickly; I'm being impatient.

 

I also read a text about neurons that explain how the tulpa phenomenon is possible, which reduced my doubts greatly. (http://www.meltingasphalt.com/neurons-gone-wild/) He even talks about this community eventually in the article. (Thanks to "Doctor" from irc for the article.)

 

Last but not least, last night when I went to bed, I decided to try visualizing again. I had a nice surprise, as suddenly I could do it. I mean, I finally can see stuff in my mind! Before I could only use my mind-eye with my eyes open (weird, right?) and failing with closed eyes 99% of the time. I spent the session visualizing lots of things, trying to practice it more, so I could see even more later. I could visualize Fiora a bit, but she's harder to see than random stuff.

 

 

Today (Day 11) I'm going to a party so I don't know what I'll manage to do, but I'll make an update about it later.

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Day 11

 

I didn't manage to narrate at the party itself, but I narrated to Fiora on the way there and on the way back (total of 2 hours).

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Last week was "going back to work" week. I narrated a little bit each day and visualized a little bit before sleeping. I did not make much progress during the week. Unfortunately, I neglected visualization on Thursday and Friday so when I tried visualizing on Saturday, I was back to not being able to see anything.. it was a little bit better today but couldn't see much at all. I'll try to not forget to practice visualization every single day. I'll also try to narrate more.

 

I'll probably do a weekly update from now on, except if/when I make a big progress during the week. Sorry if this is a boring report.

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