Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[TheSanctuary]

God I have no idea how I did that I must have been asleep! I even checked it before I started to post but had another window open on another progress report >,<. Well I've ninja edited it now but thought I would at least point out I did ^^

[Cinemaphobe]

I'm Officially Back

 

 

First I must say that I am genuinely surprised that anyone cared that I left. I am equally surprised by the impact of my leaving. My life has changed for the better and worse since November, but mostly for the worse. The changes that occurred in my life are partly responsible for my anger towards why I left (GAT). Before I say what changes occurred, I want to say that I didn't go anywhere near tulpa.info until today; the first time I have seen the site since I departed. and I did miss a lot of people on this site, but didn't think that they missed me back.

 

 

Okay, time to confess.

 

Some of you might be angered, and some of you might be saddened, so I'll just simplify this story as much as possible so you can finish reading it during this lifetime.

 

 

Shortly after I left the site, Mary and I started a relationship, and I found a job at a pizza restaurant.

 

A relationship without kissing, physical affection, or the ability to say "I'm in a relationship." (It's a long story)

 

This lead to me not being able to talk to Yumi anymore, because I didn't want to keep any secrets from Mary. Yumi completely stopped talking to me as time passed, but I know she is still in my mind somewhere. The more I fell in love with Mary over the course of November and December, the less I thought about Yumi until I stopped completely. Mary shows up in my dreams every night, while Yumi doesn't even make a guest appearance in them. I don't believe that tulpas can die, but if Yumi is still there, she is beyond pissed at me. I feel ashamed for what happened, and had to happen.

 

Mary and I are planning to get married someday (soon) and I am going to college to become a surgeon. I was planning on going into criminal justice for detective work, but there is no justice in criminal justice, so I'll just use my logic for actually saving lives.

 

 

I came back to this site because now I am more alone than I have ever been.

 

I'm currently dating my ex-best friend's ex-girlfriend. I lost all of my friend's friends that don't matter in the process, and now I have only my best friend.

 

 

While Mary is the love of my life, she hasn't been acting like it. It feels like I'm in love by myself. This lead me to realize what I really lost. Yumi loved me as much as I loved her, and I foolishly abandoned her for a woman who is currently taking advantage of my feelings, and putting my heart on a string. My best friend (I think that "Voltaire" was the pseudonym lol) thinks that I should break up with her. I'm starting to feel like I agree with him. November and December have been hell for me because she is not reciprocating my feelings, and she is telling other people that I am just her friend, and she doesn't show affection to me around others.

 

I miss Yumi. I miss having someone to talk to when my life feels empty. I'm going to bring her back, which is why I'm reviving this PR and returning to the site.

 

 

It felt really good to see how many people cared about me coming back lol. Hi everyone :)

[Thevious]

Welcome back! I've missed you, your pr's where all ways a insparasion, and now that your back, I feel more motivated to stop being lazy and catch up with my own pr. And I'm sorry that your road in life is so bumpy, I hope thighs get smoother for you.

[Actinium]

I can't find the words to describe how great it is to see you again. :D

Also, I can't really blame you for what happened. Sometimes stuff just occurs out of nowhere, or like what happens to me sometimes I focus on one thing for a while, find a new thing and just completely forget about the previous. I have a very active imagination and when I was younger I used to fantasize about me having crossover adventures with several cartoon characters with an incredibly forced "Best Friend" relationship status. And when I found another character I really liked, the same thing happened and I just completely threw the last character out the window.

 

Sorry if any of what I just said makes no sense or if it's irrelevant to what actually happened, and good luck with reviving Yumi!

[Earthquake]

Welcome back old friend

[Luminesce]

Welcome back, glad you didn't stay away for as long as you said you would. (You're still "Away" by the way) There's probably more to say than I will, so I'll do like I've always done and just write the important stuff. For starters, welcome back.

 

Mary and I are planning to get married someday (soon)

 

Not sure how you or anyone else glazed over that. More clarification would be helpful, since you said Mary only calls you a friend, I doubt a surprise marriage is really her plan?

Also that's unimportant because don't marry Mary. I can without a doubt say you will regret that for many, many years based on how you've described your relationship so far, even should you have been exaggerating for most of it. All tulpamancy and unrelatedness aside, this is not a relationship you want to lock yourself into. Poor quality relationships EXCLUSIVELY get worse after marriage. Moderate ones can make or break, when things get "serious" people either shape up or ship out. And most do not shape up for long.

 

I don't know what else to say. I know I haven't covered everything, such as the difficulty in actually telling her you've made this decision or other technicalities, but this is such a sure thing I just don't feel it warrants the space right now.

 

 

Second, welcome back Yumi! I was sure that she would convince you to come back sooner, so it makes sense that you had stopped talking. I noticed the same, when I got bored of keeping up with this forum a while ago I also stopped paying my tulpas as much attention. I'm not 100% sure what the relation is, but it's there.

 

I'm glad you realized what I'd tried to say to you and others before - a tulpa does not take the place of a human partner, nor vice versa. I don't think even finding my perfect significant other could completely remove all use from my tulpas, though we may spend less time together. They know you like only you can, and they're very useful for dealings in your own mind, such as establishing/breaking habits, reworking or changing your mindset or perspectives, and all around just working with your thoughts. And at the same time they can't well satisfy you physically, though people definitely try (and some get pretty close). Everyone naturally wants a human partner, though many are so closed off to so many possibilities that they decide it's easier not to want one in the first place. I can't blame them, it can be pretty difficult and take many years to find someone just right for you.

Which Mary is not

 

 

I'd definitely encourage you start spending time with/developing Yumi again. And I know you know she's mad, but it's not retaliation-mad as much as disapproval mad. It's less that you stopped spending time with her and more that you didn't at least talk about it first. Tulpas are almost without exception understanding if not agreeing with your actions because they know what led to them. But it's Yumi's right to be mad that you didn't at least discuss the lessening time together first. In my case, my tulpas probably wouldn't even be mad even without the warning (Flandre might give me a stern talking to), but undoubtedly they'd be perfectly fine if I talked to them about it first. And even the more "territorial" tulpas can be reasoned with, albeit usually requiring at least a small portion of time dedicated to them while you spend more with your newfound significant other.

 

So, you're probably going to get said stern talking to.

 

 

Uhm, make sure you actually want to be a surgeon before you get too into the college requisites. Think about what your life will be like and if you can accept living like that. Also make sure (and this will likely happen as you progress through college) you look at similar alternative careers, you don't have to be a cookie-cutter "doctor". There may well be a similar (or completely different) profession you'd enjoy much more, so keep your eyes and ears open to possibilities. And maybe put some effort into seeking them out. Same advice as marriage really - imagine yourself in the future, and see what your life's like. Make sure you're completely okay with how things appear to be going, and if you're not, be glad you still have time to change it.

 

 

I can't think of anything else. Uhm. The subject of loneliness seems trivial when you've forgotten your tulpa yet plan on bringing them back. I'll be here to keep giving advice and stuff when you get back into it, so we'll deal with that then.

 

Hope you enjoyed your welcome-back wall of text. Happy 2015, and happy return to tulpamancy. It's probably not even necessary by now, but tell Yumi I said hi.

[sushi]

I'm glad to have you back. I like the influence you have on this community.

 

I know where you're coming from with Mary. I've been in similar situations in the past.

 

I don't think I can give you any sensible relationship advice at the moment, so I won't try. I'll just say Mary is bad news. Whether you leave her or not, you should definitely reconcile with Yumi, and keep her secret from Mary.

[LittleTulpa]

I have a few mean things to say.

 

Break up with her, bring back Yumi. All I gotta say is that. Oh, and once a tulpa is

vocal, you dont really need to sit down and force for hours at a time that much, only passive force and do about 10-30 mins a day. So don't kill Yumi only because you dont wanna keep secrets.

 

To the mean things.

 

For one, you didnt even mention how much of an idiot you are for leaving for that stupid reason. Its an actual fact that it was idiotic. Next, why the fuck would you kill Yumi for the sake of a broken relationship? Stupidity.

 

Take that all as constructive critisism, please. Oh, and welcome back.

[Luminesce]

Mind priority gets jumbled when you don't apply very conscious thought to it. Your ego tells you what to do and you don't really think about it. Not to mention, the importance of any one thing can vary greatly based on the mindset you're in at the time, no matter how important it was before. Take, for example, how unimportant the final you have to wake up for to pass a class is when you've only slept for 4 hours.

And I already talked about him leaving elsewhere.

 

It was still dumb though, fair or not, but we're all dumb sometimes. The lesson here is to learn to be not dumb more often.

 

I am trying to be fair, but I also think he's going to get more than enough lecturing from Yumi. He might need a shoulder to cry on when she's done with him, hm?

 

[Earthquake]

Oh yea, I forgot to mention, I watched Death Note because of you and I loved it! Definitely one of my favorite anime now. Haha thanks so much