Luminesce December 6, 2014 December 6, 2014 They're not really inactive (they have been in the past though), it's just that they're only around when I pay direct attention to them. IE, they won't comment on random things throughout the day unless I randomly think of them throughout the day. They have before, but it takes a lot of mental effort and is usually only when we're working on something new and exciting, like when we first started imposition. Finals week is a good excuse, daily studying not so much. You can always manage your time more efficiently, and if something's really worth it you will do so. I've never liked hot showers, or cold ones for that matter. Years of warm water that slowly gets colder until I have to get out. But somewhat ironically, Reisen actually likes making the water hotter or colder while switching with me. It's the most engaging sensation readily available normally, and like I've said a few times before, my tulpas (or at least Reisen) are a lot more sensitive to senses and fatigue than me. Reisen enjoys physical sensations (hot and cold showers), beautiful landscapes, and even compliments more than I do. Which is to say, a lot, whereas I'm relatively unaffected. My goal is to become more like her. And I know how pep-talking depressed friends goes. Lot of work sometimes, but you do make differences in peoples' lives. Encouraging lasting lifestyle or mindset changes is the most difficult/rewarding part. Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn. Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature. My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.
Guest December 11, 2014 December 11, 2014 They're not really inactive (they have been in the past though), it's just that they're only around when I pay direct attention to them. IE, they won't comment on random things throughout the day unless I randomly think of them throughout the day. They have before, but it takes a lot of mental effort and is usually only when we're working on something new and exciting, like when we first started imposition. Finals week is a good excuse, daily studying not so much. You can always manage your time more efficiently, and if something's really worth it you will do so. I've never liked hot showers, or cold ones for that matter. Years of warm water that slowly gets colder until I have to get out. But somewhat ironically, Reisen actually likes making the water hotter or colder while switching with me. It's the most engaging sensation readily available normally, and like I've said a few times before, my tulpas (or at least Reisen) are a lot more sensitive to senses and fatigue than me. Reisen enjoys physical sensations (hot and cold showers), beautiful landscapes, and even compliments more than I do. Which is to say, a lot, whereas I'm relatively unaffected. My goal is to become more like her. And I know how pep-talking depressed friends goes. Lot of work sometimes, but you do make differences in peoples' lives. Encouraging lasting lifestyle or mindset changes is the most difficult/rewarding part. Ah-- I can just barely get Kayla to talk to me sometimes, even with maximum concentration currently. I want to get to the point where she'll make comments and just talk randomly at times whenever I am not thinking about her, but it may take quite a while to get there. As for the goal of becoming more like her, I do believe that it is attainable, and you will reach it eventually. I myself have always been susceptible to fatigue, but not much the perceptional senses-- such as my eyesight, my hearing, and my smelling. However, the first one requires classes, and the other two are, as far as I know as of the moment, unable to be fixed. And yea; I am glad I can make a difference in someone's life, but you sure are right when you say it can be difficult, yet very rewarding. Wednesday, December 10th, 2014 I am not going to say what I was doing prior to my shower, as it was rather personal, but it lead directly to my shower. I was very scared for the same personal reason, so I had to confide in Kayla in order to feel better-- but it did, in fact, work; the longer I talked to her, the more my rationality returned to me, and the more I actually calmed down and though everything out. And I started thinking about symbolism-- I thought that, maybe, it could help me achieve more communication for Kayla-- so, I took to two different 'items' I will be giving her in my wonderland. The first item is an MP3 player with ear buds, which is designed to 'channel' my voice(specifically my mind-voice) to her to allow her to more 'easily' hear and comprehend me. I know she could do it anyway, but it still fits well for a symbol. The second is to designed to help her 'send' more coherent and lucid thoughts to me-- and it is a megaphone. I chose it because of re-occurring thoughts with Kayla. It appears that she is very sporty and athletic, because in my thoughts I keep imagining her as a softball player and cheerleader. I cannot explain the first one, but perhaps the second one came to be for my fetish of cheerleaders; anyway, so, I thought it was a rather fitting symbol. So, I will have to keep a record on how-well the symbolic devices work. Has anyone else fumbled around with any sort of idea like this before? If so, let me know how it turned out for you.
TheSanctuary December 11, 2014 December 11, 2014 Yeah I know a few people have done similar things, like giving them a microphone and super powerful speakers, or something akin to this. I find that usually the clearest communication comes when she's frustrated or something to that effect and haven't had any reliable improvement using such things, but by all means use them. Worst case scenario it doesn't help, but it's not gonna make her quieter ^^
Guest December 14, 2014 December 14, 2014 Yeah I know a few people have done similar things, like giving them a microphone and super powerful speakers, or something akin to this. I find that usually the clearest communication comes when she's frustrated or something to that effect and haven't had any reliable improvement using such things, but by all means use them. Worst case scenario it doesn't help, but it's not gonna make her quieter ^^ Alright; danke. I will likely try, later possibly, to do that. That is very interesting; I haven't gotten results like that; for me, it was when I was very relaxed and concentrated. Alrighty, danke. Saturday, December 13th, 2014 Today I took a shower, amidst people arguing in my house-- that, mixed with the water constantly fluctuating temperatures, made it difficult, but I tried my best to focus on Kayla; end in the end, it felt worth it, and I felt better than I previously had. We forced on her for 30 minutes today.
Guest January 13, 2015 January 13, 2015 Hello everyone-- It's been a while since I've made an update, due to complications that came up. However, I haven't quit forcing or gave up on Kayla-- on the contrary, I've kept up and continued forcing, albeit at a slowed rate. Though, I do plan on changing that, and begin force more and more, once more-- I just need to set my mind straight and make myself. My only issue at this point is my own laziness.
Guest March 3, 2015 March 3, 2015 I feel like I've failed -- my life had spiraled, strangely, out of, and then back into, control for a short while. I'm back where I need to be, but I have only forced with Kayla on and off for the past while -- nothing to write home about. I do feel like I haven't done good enough for her, and we still can't actually talk. I think she's in there, somewhere, but it will be difficult coaxing her out -- especially with how unreliable I am as a person. I'm not honestly sure what else to say.Oh w Though, I don't think I'm going to quit, flat out. I'll keep trying.
Guest May 11, 2015 May 11, 2015 Well, I don't quite know what happened in my absence. I've been gone for a while, and I perpetually feel tired now, but I've decided to re-try my attempts. I've never been able to stick with something as dedicated as this for a long time, but I cannot allow that to be the case for the rest of my life, and I truly wish to succeed in my endeavors of making a tulpa. Therefore, instead of picking up where I had left of, I am going to start over -- I will still be working on Kayla, but I shall re-do everything I had done, and I shall try to stick with it now that I'm going to have a lot less responsibilities and commitments this summer. Everyone wish me luck -- and perhaps update me on what all has happened here since I've been gone?
Guest May 12, 2015 May 12, 2015 I forced today and yesterday, each with a sum of 20 minutes approximately -- slightly more time was likely put into both sessions, but I don't want to give myself too much credit. Monday, May 11th, 2015 This session was used primarily as a re-start of my forcing efforts with Kayla. I apologized to her about everything that had happened, but let her know that I hadn't given up on her, and that I would keep trying. I talked to her about a new schedule I was devising in my head over forcing with her. It felt rather well as a session. Tuesday, May 12th, 2015 This session was just a regular session. Though I had no feedback from Kayla, I expected that, and I hold no ill feelings over it whatsoever. I cannot say I am certain how far my efforts with her had gotten before, but regardless, I am willing to spend my time in order to re-build the progress I had previously ascertained.
Guest May 14, 2015 May 14, 2015 It doesn't really feel like anyone cares about this anymore, as I'm posting this and no one is replying, nor can I assume too many are viewing. I know there's activity on the forum still, but whatever. It doesn't really matter -- if no one cares enough to really reply, that's fine -- I am also posting this here because I've compiled a lot of my data on here and I plan on continuing to post me for my own purposes, as much as anyone else's. Wednesday, May 13th, 2015 Well, this session nothing too spectacular happened. I did what I usually do -- force in the shower, for approximately 20 minutes. I talked to Kayla, until I hit about 20 minutes. I talked to her periodically throughout the night. Once again, while it didn't feel like wasted effort, nothing amazing happened. Thursday, May 14th, 2015 This day went much better. While I didn't get her to talk back to me, I did get a decent visual of her in my head -- while I couldn't see her any better than I can already visualize things in my head (which is, to say, rather poorly), I did feel as though it were better, and I felt like I wasn't just fabricating the scene in my head. When I force with Kayla in the shower, I leave on a playlist of six Nirvana songs -- Dumb, Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle, Polly, In Bloom, and Smells Like Teen Spirit. I went through the songs and talked to her rather wel, until I got to Polly, where I started just singing. I usually sing In Bloom to her, but because that's a special song for me and her -- but it seems that she may have enjoyed me singing to her. In my mind I pictured her sitting on the limb of a tree in the wonderland I had made back in October, with an iPod/MP3 Player, using that as though my singing were a song file on there. I am not certain how that thought manifested, but it did, and it felt rather genuine. So, I feel that today was a good forcing session, of also 20 minutes.
Alexx May 14, 2015 May 14, 2015 Heh, it is kinda wierd to see people in similar situation to mine... Just saying that i am actually interested how this is going, have to catch up on the thread tho.
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