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Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa


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I want to give a hug to Melian, the groovy-guru! Outside the Lounge, she is all professionalism with her scientifical spectacles and lab coat! Hugs, sillies and lovies are for the Lounge!   

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  1. 1. I want to give a hug to Melian, the groovy-guru! Outside the Lounge, she is all professionalism with her scientifical spectacles and lab coat! Hugs, sillies and lovies are for the Lounge!

    • A hug for Melian, the goddess guru of grooviness.
      13
    • I am a Minion of Melian, the groovy-guru!
      0


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Guest Anonymous

It is obvious we cannot continue to go to the chat room. That just has to stop and this has to be the final end of it. Those who don't want us in the chat win. The forum is better anyway. Melian will calm down eventually. No one on the forum treats her that way, only in the chatroom is it happening.

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Guest Anonymous

Listen, Mel and Mistgod. As someone who spent a long while in the chatrooms you speak of (and in channels in which people circlejerk), I can tell you that people laughing in your back means absolutely nothing..

 

We can relate in so many ways to what you said, Melian. Because as it happened to you, people called us fake, my tulpa was called a dramawhore, and yesterday someone told her that people laugh in her back, although that took no effect on her.

 

Just ignore it, really. The people at hand (and trust me, I know who those people are, I could name them as a matter of fact). The people you speak of are extremely ignorant, self-hating and tend to take out on others because they cannot behave like human beings even online.

 

Who even cares if people talk in your back? That's just random people over the internet who use cherry-picked logs to try to demonstrate something that doesn't even matter at all, they're just random kids on the internet.

 

When my tulpa was told that 'there are people in #tuppers, friends in .info and elsewhere that laugh at you everyday', that took absolutely no effect, you wanna know why? Because the way we were before (and are going back to progressively), she never cared about people's opinions (much less the ones of an idiot), she'd just laugh at them or decide they are ignorant after rationalizing, but never really cared.

 

Don't go in chatrooms. The people who mock you like on #tuppers and secret circlejerks on #tulpa.lounge are sad people with nothing better to do in their lives. A lot of people envy you and Melian. Typically people who call you trolls are just too stupid to start to comprehend any of it, and call it off as if they were always right no matter what.

 

Please, David, don't even bother. I've been through the EXACT same thing, the only thing that makes me mad now is that such human beings do exist, trust me. Those same people are unable to have an intellectual discussion with you to prove their point, and only say such things for them to take effect. They feed off despair, they lack empathy on the internet and act like excuses of human beings. Hey, if it's worth anything, most people in that small circlejerk who mock you doubt their tulpas all the time and others made them using drugs, so they got that against you.


What people say does not form who you are, people are just people. There are plenty of people on this planet, and many of them only seek to cause distress. What forms who you are is your interaction with Melian on a daily basis, I mean, what forms both of you on the level of tulpamancy. Take it easy.

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Guest Anonymous

Anderson, thank you so much! I just fell in love with you even more and I thought that impossible. All of your words were so perfect and true. I like the chat a lot, and I have friends there, but the troll haters win. I can't go back there any more. They get what they wanted, a chat full of nothing but muddle heads and meanies.

 

I think that this community might be better off without an associated chat room.

 

Anderson, all your words are real and true and good. But I can't help it, am still very hurt. I thought going on the internet was a good idea two years ago. Now I am doubting all of it. Even my art.

 

David should have lied from the beginning and just told everyone I was a tulpa and that he made me using the guides. No one would care to hear about my history anyways. That's how it feels right now and I am still feeling rotten. You are not allowed to be different and you are not allowed to have a personality.

 

Like for instance, if I write that we had an adventure dream together last night, in which I explored an ancient ruin, no one would believe it now. No one wants to hear it. So there is no point in sharing it. It should have all just stayed private. It has no value to anyone here if they are unwilling to take us at our word. I thought people liked the Melian Show stories and stories about the dreaming.

 

Things in the mind cannot be shared. This is what happens. My enthusiasm to share myself has been utterly destroyed. David is still enthusiastic, but it isn't his personality that has been rejected. It isn't him that is being doubted, it is me.

 

"Blog posting" is not allowed here anyways. Only progress reports on experiments on creating tulpas like it is some sort of laboratory log. Tulpas are science rats made to run on a wheel, run mazes and get measured. They are not personalities.

 

No one will ever really and truly know what it is like for me. I can't really show you. So what is the point? There is no point in any one writing about tulpas and thoughtforms at all maybe. This whole place is a waste of time if we doubt one another. Once you do that, it is all ruined and it crumbles like a house of cards.

 

Questioning someone's credibility is poison to a community such as this, especially if it is done in a back stabbing gossip sort of way.

 

I don't want to write here anymore and I don't want anyone discussing me.

 

------------------------------------------------

 

Monday morning 10/9/2015

 

EDIT: Hi everyone! I feel a little better today. I am sad I lost my friends on the chat, but I still have the forum. YAY! I like tulpas again. Sorry, I was just sad for a while. I know you guys love me! I love me too! heart_emot_by_melianofmist-d9900ws.png

 

112x282http://orig13.deviantart.net/6bad/f/2015/267/3/2/chibi_sign_i_love_you_by_melianofmist_d7fuybq_by_melianofmist-d9asth6.jpg[/img]

 

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Troy: I have rarely seen anything of merit going on in the chatroom. Sometimes, someone will talk tupper, but that is only when they have a particular burning question (which could have been asked on the forums anyway) or if a person who is new to the phenomenon stumbles in and starts asking questions.

And what is talked about sometimes... I am certain you have heard of the conversations involving drugs and tulpa. On a chat, it is a little easier to be a hateful troll and not get caught or called out for it. It is not a great place, and the trolls and the people with sticks up their butt are inevitably going to whack on people for being different.

 

We... did lie at first ourselves, Melian, and insisted we were made in a way we thought the community would find acceptable. It made us feel unpleasant, even if it reduced the chance of someone screaming "FAKE". And we have not even addressed it much...

I do not think it would have been better if you had lied. It might have snowballed into this "oh god" feeling the majority of our system has.

 

There are those of us that would probably be happy to hear about your exploits, but the blogging thing... Well, you could use your dA to blog, if you really wish to. We use ours for such a thing from time to time.

 

You are right. No-one can really know what it is like to be you. No-one has much of an idea of what it is like to be anyone else at all. Yet, we still share ourselves and our ideas, hoping that someone, somewhere can relate and come to enjoy talking with us. That maybe we can still find some way to share how wonderful life is with another, and that they could share how they see life in turn.

It is alright if you do not feel comfortable on .info, but I hope you do not give up on your enthusiasm for being just plain Melian and showing people that in general.

 

Drew: *~Hug~*

A queer soulbonding system with tulpamantic influences.

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In the short time I have got to know you here, you have given Pearl and I so much guidance, and you are also probably the nicest person that I have met here. Please... Don't leave...

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Guest Anonymous

To everyone,

 

You are correct about the chat rooms. The forum has always been good to Melian and I. I think she is upset and we are painting with too broad a brush here in the condemnation maybe. I am disappointed too, as I enjoyed channeling her and watching her antics and silly conversations on the chat. Many people there really love Melian. But I don't want her in there if it is going to hurt her.

 

I do agree with her on this though. The tulpa community and this forum has a major flaw. I have had issues with the negative aspects of tulpa culture from the very first day. I noticed with distaste the finger pointing and discussion about role players and fakers. My response was to openly declare myself a role player (which I am), emphasize the fact that Melian is an illusory thoughtform, and also a form of make believe with elements of method acting. I talked about heresy and witch hunts. That didn't start things off well. I have continued to be a thorn in the side of some.

 

To be honest, I would prefer a wide open forum dedicated to imaginary friends, literary characters, role playing characters, souldbonds, daemons, natural multiples, tulpas and metaphysical entities. My role playing character Turon would be able to sit down in a shared wonderland tavern and have an in depth discussion about the nature of imagination with a pony tulpa and an astrally projected alien.

 

I believe in all thoughtforms as equally legitimate. To me there is very little distinction between any and all of them.

 

The tulpa community, in general, has the attitude that only tulpas are legitimate and valuable and worthy of sharing.


In the short time I have got to know you here, you have given Pearl and I so much guidance, and you are also probably the nicest person that I have met here. Please... Don't leave...

 

Thank you so much you guys, that means so much to me! You have no idea! It is PERFECT to get support from a new tulpamancer on the forum. HUGE. Thank you very much.

 

We won't be leaving. Melian is just majorly venting and having a drama rant. It's her nature. She will calm down eventually after she pouts and sulks for a few days. But we won't be back to the chat rooms. Everything everyone is saying about it is true. We are finally, completely done there.

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Guest Anonymous

Well, at least your staying here! It just wouldn't be the same without you and Melian's input!

 

Thank you! Every time, EVERY TIME, Melian and I get attacked in the chat, we come back even more fired up to speak our minds!

 

Today this was the result --> https://community.tulpa.info/thread-all-thoughtforms-are-legitimate-creations

 

Melian is angry and sulking right now but she will be back here, just not on the chatroom. The chat room doesn't deserve her quite frankly.

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Guest Anonymous

People act in such elitist ways. The people who diminish of Melian's credibility as a thoughtform with personality and liveliness overall are elitists who cannot accept that there are other thoughtforms, or it's just that it's too hard for them to understand that the brain functions in such complex ways that it can have such an occurence.

 

Come to think of it, it's funny, actually. The people who trash you all have a record of 'self-delusion' (and that falls under their definition since they call Melian fake). They create a wonderland, they interact with the concept their tulpa is, they parrot answers until a placebo effect takes place in their brain. (NOTE: I do not mean that wonderlands, or their tulpas are delusional, not at all, but since they call Melian fake, it's fair to use their own definitions.) Melian does not differ all that much from other thoughtforms, and trust me, I've gotten to know the most despicable kind of scumbag thoughtforms and also the kindest, I'm aware of how biased and how much of their own persons/identities/personalities they can be.

 

Mel, that's wrong. That's so wrong. Concerning what you said. Sorry, I don't mean to put you down, but while there are people like on IRC who insult you and mock you, there are people like me and my tulpa who take pleasure in reading such adventures, people who enjoy hearing about the Melian Show. Screw other people and what they think, to act elitist ourselves we could say that those people lack fundamental notions Mistgod has learned over his very large experience with interacting with you. You. Melian. Who's more apt to tell you what you are, Mel? Random assholes on IRC who cherry pick what is said, or Mistgod who cares all that much for you and how you feel? I don't mean to discuss this, but I felt like this had to be posted.

 

You cannot change how people function. You cannot change their (retarded) ideals concerning morality, what can be said and rationalism. You cannot change how impolite they come out. But you can change how they affect you. Good luck, Mel.

 

The chat room doesn't deserve her quite frankly.

 

Amen to that.

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Don't you both dare to leave this place, you're one of the fews here i can like without restrictions :D (Probably because of your open minded way)

Tulpa: Alice

Form: Realistic Humanoid/Demonic Creation

She may or may not talk here, depends on her.

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