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Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa


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I want to give a hug to Melian, the groovy-guru! Outside the Lounge, she is all professionalism with her scientifical spectacles and lab coat! Hugs, sillies and lovies are for the Lounge!   

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  1. 1. I want to give a hug to Melian, the groovy-guru! Outside the Lounge, she is all professionalism with her scientifical spectacles and lab coat! Hugs, sillies and lovies are for the Lounge!

    • A hug for Melian, the goddess guru of grooviness.
      13
    • I am a Minion of Melian, the groovy-guru!
      0


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Don't you both dare to leave this place, you're one of the fews here i can like without restrictions :D (Probably because of your open minded way)

 

Right!!! He is extremely open minded compared to... Quite frankly... Some people i know...

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Guest Anonymous

I'm going to be honest, I thought you were trolls at first. Then Melain became more talkative to everybody, and it really lit the community up. Do what you think is right, and keep making this community a better and happier place.

 

I should have thanked you earlier. I am sorry for the delay. Thank you Brassow. This latest drama will pass quickly. If people would just stop poking at us, we would stop the occasional rants.

 

It's unfortunate that the chatrooms no longer feel like a welcoming place to us at all. But it probably is going to be a good thing in the long run if we just stick to the forum. I just want to discuss and share without all the negative reactions. That would be so nice. Is what we are writing really that scary bad?

 

Unless we get banned we are not going to leave the forum. I plan to be around for years. Maybe in a year the chat room will have had enough of a turn over for us to try a return there. For now we are just going to forget about it and move on.


Don't you both dare to leave this place, you're one of the fews here i can like without restrictions :D (Probably because of your open minded way)

 

Thank you so much! We won't be leaving the forum. We will not be in the chat for a very long time. We have said things like that before, but this latest thing was the worst, so this time we really mean it. The message was clear, many in the chat feel we are trolls. Fine we will wait until this latest batch of chat room lurkers moves on. We will outlast them I guarantee that. Maybe in about a year we will peak in and talk to nicer folks again and Melian can tell some stories and jokes once more.


Right!!! He is extremely open minded compared to... Quite frankly... Some people i know...

 

Thanks so much! I am so glad you feel that way! :-)


Come to think of it, it's funny, actually. The people who trash you all have a record of 'self-delusion' (and that falls under their definition since they call Melian fake). They create a wonderland, they interact with the concept their tulpa is, they parrot answers until a placebo effect takes place in their brain. (NOTE: I do not mean that wonderlands, or their tulpas are delusional, not at all, but since they call Melian fake, it's fair to use their own definitions.) Melian does not differ all that much from other thoughtforms...

 

OMG that is a great point! Most tulpas are "unfinished" and the tulpamancers write about trying to force and develop them. Are they then "fake" in that unfinished state? At what point are they not fake? Where is the fake to not fake boundary? LOL I love that Anderson! OMG!

 

Under than logic, every beginning tulpa starts out as totally fake. LOL Are the tulpamancers who consider these fake tulpas liars as well? Or are they delusional and confused about what is real or fake? At what point does the fake baby tulpa become more legit than say an imaginary friend? There is the "surprise me" test. Melian has already passed that one many times. Is she still fake? You know, come to think of it, when I was a kid, sometimes my imaginary friends seemed to surprise me. Were they more legit at that point and less fake?

 

No one is going to stop accusing you of fakery because thats what roleplaying and imaginary friends are, they are fake. They are not all equally fake.

 

Hmmmm.

 

So young tulpas are somehow less fake and more legitimate? I am not following the logic at all. So, if you start with a imaginary friend (which is fake supposedly and less legit) and you force to make it into a tulpa, when does it become a tulpa and not just an imaginary friend? When does the fake-ness go away?

 

It can't be the narration that makes the young tulpa less fake than an imaginary friend because I talk to imaginary friends too, which is narration. It can't be the visualization that makes a young tulpa less fake either, because I visualize an imaginary friend. Isn't that like forcing?

 

Melian is partly autonomous, similar in many ways to a young tulpa being parroted. Is she fake then? Are young tulpas fake then like her?

 

You can not convince me that someone parroting responses is as legit as creating an apparently independent consciousness.

 

Apparently this person is unaware that some of the guides actually do not condemn all parroting and that it is even stated as sometimes helpful. Maybe he hasn't read the guides as extensively as I have. Also, maybe he is unaware that sometimes it is difficult to know if you are parroting a young tulpa or not, so there is probably a lot of parroting going on with many young tulpas? Does parroting make a tulpa automatically fake and illegitimate?

 

MY CONCLUSION ON THIS: A young tulpa is indistinguishable from an imaginary friend and a very old and seasoned imaginary friend may just qualify as a tulpa. They are equally legitimate and equal in value.

 

Another question: Could a role playing character become an imaginary friend and then qualify for the above? When does it then become not fake and legitimate?

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There are nice people on the IRC and there are people who generally lurk but will help if you've got an actual problem. But the amount of people there that just aren't pleasant to be around is much higher than on the forum, and due to the nature of instant chat drama and bullying are much more common. It's not always on purpose though, things just escalate quickly when you don't have to even think about what you're saying. That's why I like the forum format, people have to think a little bit about what they say before posting, usually.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Guest Anonymous

@GlassJustice, Luminesce, and raymond13557

 

Thanks you guys. Melian and I finally, finally will not be running back to the chat. She loved the chat, quite frankly, because she could do her silly antics for attention and be obnoxious. She loves the stage and it felt like all eyes were on her. Some think she is sweet and cute, others what to gouge out her eyes. So I do understand it a little bit. We make ourselves targets, with our extremely contrary viewpoints on tulpamancy and thoughtforms and our combined ego and Melian's obnoxious personality. That doesn't excuse some persons from acting like complete assholes to her though.

 

As far as those questioning my sincerity and implying I am a troll and a liar:

 

--I have spent two years online with Melian on Deviantart, I have struggled to draw her hundreds of times. She has made hundreds of friends there who are very close to her.

 

--I have told my entire extended family about her. My mother won't speak to me and says Melian is dangerous make believe. My sister thinks I am insane and that I need therapy or a psychiatrist. My coworkers found out about Melian and I risked my career making her public knowledge at work. I stopped going to church because my pastor told me Melian is a distraction from God.

 

--I have been on this forum pretty much every day for six months, sharing Melian, dealing with all the slings and arrows and those who hate Melian and I. I have shared and tried to help and answered questions and asked questions. I have spent hours and hours typing and editing my posts.

 

--I have done one utube video about Melian and two podcasts (soon a third maybe). I told her story in my own voice and in video for the world to see it. I am a grown man admitting to having a cutie blonde girl skipping around in his head. I admitted it to my brothers.

 

--I admitted in public that I have had emotional problems that lead to maladaptive day dreaming and the creation of Melian as a teen. That was not easy to talk about that in public to hundreds of people. It was humiliating in fact.

 

Yet, here we are. Some are questioning my sincerity, saying that I am lying to troll the chat and the forum. WTF? What do I have to do exactly to be considered 100% legitimate? How much more will it take?

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Guest Anonymous

Monday morning 10/9/2015

 

Hi everyone! I feel a little better today. I am sad I lost my friends on the chat, but I still have the forum. YAY! I like tulpas again. Sorry, I was just sad for a while. I know you guys love me! I love me too! heart_emot_by_melianofmist-d9900ws.png

 

112x282http://orig13.deviantart.net/6bad/f/2015/267/3/2/chibi_sign_i_love_you_by_melianofmist_d7fuybq_by_melianofmist-d9asth6.jpg[/img]

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Guest Anonymous

Glad to hear you're feeling better, Melian! Don't let those few haters get you down.

 

Thanks so much! I won't! Things are gonna be good now!

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Guest Anonymous

660x510http://pre04.deviantart.net/cdc1/th/pre/i/2014/033/d/e/melian_s_certificate_to_me_by_mistgod-d74vdmg.jpg[/img]100x100http://images.clipartpanda.com/pink-heart-outline-clipart-ycoAo7kcE.png[/img]

 

NOTE: For those who are too literal, this post includes a great deal of sarcasm. I left this note out for a while to see how many would bother to even think, or which people would have the same old stupid, knee jerk reactions and fail to read for content and meaning. That is the whole point of it. I am sorry, but a few people on this forum are block heads with the imaginative power of a rock and they accuse me of "admitting to being a liar." People like that have the intellect of a fish (stimuli=react, no in depth thinking what-so-ever).

 

Original Sarcastic Post

After almost four decades with my thoughform Melian, I decided to share her on the internet starting on October 4th 2013. She was never fake, or "real" for that matter, before that. She just was and she was just adorable. But the good folks on the internet have helped me see the foolishness of my ways. Thanks to the dubious skeptics for helping me out and reducing Melian to her proper place. I was so wrong!

I Mistgod, on this 21st day of October, in the year 2015, do hear by declare in general public and in everyone's general direction that I am indeed a role player and totally fake. I am ashamed of myself. I spent two years composing a 118 page book about Melian being a thoughtform and semi-independent. I spent two years on DA talking about it. I have spent two year reading psychology books and research articles trying to figure it all out. I read multiple books on thoughtforms and tulpas. I attempted to draw Melian countless time. I wrote down her Melian Show adventures. I told my entire extended family about it. I told my wife about it. My mother wont' speak to me. My sister thinks I am insane and need a psychiatrist. I spent a lot of time talking about my emotional issues and maladaptive day dreaming as a child and humiliated myself in doing so. I have been on this forum every day for six months, totally obsessed. I have shared so much with all of you. I have suffered slings and arrows of hate from those you think I am a fool. All so that I can fake you out.

 

(EDIT: Oh and two podcasts and one utube video about Melian, sorry forgot that)

 

I did it all so that I can make a big public lie and get attention from many internet teenagers and nerds.

 

signed,

 

Mistgod, the charlatan, the shamed and the revealed

 

306x160http://img13.deviantart.net/09b0/i/2015/272/0/e/team_melian_mistgod__with_tulpa_info_background_by_melianofmist-d9bcj3h.jpg[/img]

 

LIST OF "ADMISSIONS" POSTS:

 

I was trying my hardest to find the post where I supposedly admitted to being a liar and a fake for those who have been wanting so bad to see it:

 

Here, maybe there is something in the Book of Melian? http://melianofmist.deviantart.com/art/The-Book-of-Melian-509605338

 

I found this one, maybe that is what people mean (this one is good! It has pictures.):

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-mistgod-melian-art-spirals-inspire?pid=136227#pid136227

 

Or maybe this one? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sentience-my-thoughtform-likes-to-be-a-puppet

 

If anyone else finds another one, let me know and I will be proud to post it here in this list of admissions.

 

Thank you, signed Mistgod (extraordinary wizard)

 

Now that my "confession and admissions" that some seem to want so badly are out there, can I go back to writing about thoughtforms and imagination the way I would like to? They can stop being afraid of me. I would like to end the stupidity here and be able to discuss imagination and the potential of the mind and to share Melian, as she is. I will agree to avoid making general statements, as best I can, about all tulpas and concentrate on my own experiences. It should be enough that I do not call Melian a tulpa. At least I thought it would be.

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