Returning after a year of nothing

[SoloRider]

Hello, I made a new account for this because I lost my original. Anyways, I came to this site after a year of no tulpamancy and I had yet to get even close to creating a tulpa. I don't think I lasted a month before completely stopping. The reason I left this is because I decided to go on a more spiritual journey of sorts to gain an understanding of myself, life, and my relationship with God. I only discovered the lies of my own religion and I wasn't able to get any closer to God. Now that I realize my religion is bull without question I feel more free to do things that may get frowned upon without any good reason. So one day I decided to try to talk with my tulpa. The thing with me is that though I never heard any voice my tulpa was able to possess my right arm. So I try talking to her again not expecting much, but my hand started to move again. I'm pretty sure it is her doing that because my hand would move a little fast when I would cheer her on just like before. Can a tulpa even last hat long without being completed? It seems like she did. Also, when I first started this happened pretty fast, only a few days after did this happen. I'm back and I'm going to make a tulpa this time and I won't stop till it's done! Kinda feel like an a** for starting and stopping though. It seems like she is still there, so I'm planning on finishing her. Is that the right course of action? Is there anything I need to learn before getting back into it? Or do you think I should just leave the tulpa community for good because of my failures?

[tulpa001]

There is no such thing as me not being surprised by how long a tulpa can last.

 

Sometimes, rarely, they can't last a day. Sometimes, often, they stick around for years with no exercise at all. And how old they are sometimes does not seem to matter.

 

Some of the science around tulpas has changed in a year. But not much. Maybe brush up on reading newer guides.

 

Also what failures? You don't actually fail until you stop.

[| Ada |]

You have a lot of questions, but I’ll categorize some opinions me, and the other two companions in the head we share have towards that:

 

Dissipation & Reconciling With A Forgotten Tulpa-In-Question

 

This can be quite a controversial topic to discuss about, and even come to terms with on an equal footing because everyone can do whatever they want with their everyday cognition and subjectivity. The idea of trying to reconcile with a forgotten tulpa-in-question is, in our opinion, to set up a mirror in front of you, and questioning if you can pick up from where you started, and becoming a ‘hero’ in overcoming that dead-end we reach sometimes in trying to come to terms with using whatever intellect we have.

 

If you feel inclined that the novelty has worn off, and that it would be hard to reconcile with that in your virtue of ‘treating them as sentient,’ or what have you, then stand by it. If you see something different, then stand by it. No need to say things to the tulpa-in-question that you’ll regret as soon as it leaves your lips. And even if that happens, just take ownership of what you said, and realize whatever flaws may come by with that, and keep moving forward.

 

Theological/Religious Upbringing and Defiance from It

 

We’re more secular, but the host has a religious background that he’s deviated from for a long time, now. So, he has some experiential context to relate to you on that. So, in your question of figuring out what’s the right course of action, or what you need to learn before getting back into it is that irrespective of what you learn, IMO, it’s still a progressive learning curve, in some shape or form.

 

A lot of these questions we see tend to emphasize on the intellect of the individual, and them questioning how they should go about using that intellect. Because, maybe, they felt they were paralyzed by said intellect, and just needed as societal collection of opinions as potential fallbacks. Especially in regards to your escape from certain theological rooting, you end up losing a bit of yourself because you projected so much of yourself towards those ideologies. This isn’t to say what you did was right or wrong, but just know that it, IMO, is okay to not know what the hell is wrong or right anymore. It’s rough, especially after that transition, but now that you’re fixated on endeavors towards self-progression, inner peace, and such, just know that figuring out how to embrace one’s intellect takes time.

 

No need to feel as if you have to know the totality of tulpamancy to figure out ‘how one ought to treat a tulpa as sentient.’

 

Leaving The Tulpa Community Because of XYZ

 

If you think you should leave the community solely because of failures, then you’re, IMO, probably looking at the collective agenda completely differently. This community is founded upon failures, dogmas, criticism, pseudoscience, and various inconsistencies, but through it all, people find a way to share information to reach a common ground from this.

 

I’m not sure if there exists a member that can truly have the title of ‘holier than thou.’ And Linkzelda, the host, would be lying if he said he never made a mistake, or went through failure in this journey. Unconditional positive reinforcement, taking ownership of your actions along with being aware of those potentials, and moving forward towards a collective, self-progression with the tulpa-in-question will be a road filled with failures. It will happen at some point, but you can remember the lessons along the way. Just don’t forget.

 

This is also speaking in regards towards our own opinion of the community, which was quite hateful, but it’s one of those situations where if you leave, it’s probably because one has accepted the realization that irrespective of a collective, societal opinion on tulpas, no one can really access your subjectivity, rewire your schemata of life with them, and dictate what you should do in life. Most members, IMO, that tend to leave, isn’t exclusive towards failures, but mostly figuring out their own means of inner peace because they felt the community wasn’t enough to create a fallback.

 

Or, they may have created a fallback, but they had the idea that they have to get out of the existential neurosis, i.e., wondering how one can take responsibility in their lives, and move forward from there.

 

 

Possession

 

A common activity we tend to do is actually in the shower where the host would imagine certain movements, and naturally, we seem to follow suit in the mental representation of a specific action we collective may want to mix around in. The actual sound of water hitting against the body is a useful noise for us to really feel at ease, along with the privacy that comes with bathrooms in general. Of course, this is just one circumstance for one situation. But what I’m getting at here is that this apprehension you have with possession is probably due to how you may feel you’re still in that ‘valley of the suck.’

 

Where you feel you’re not making progress, but it’s about taking those small moments to develop experiential context over time. And, what we realized with possession and switching is figuring out activities that allows one to find continuity in both the consistencies and inconsistencies in their mind because the brain always tries to find continuity in the entropic nature of the reality we assume to be conscious evaluators.

 

In other words, practice makes perfect, but rather the type of practice to emphasizes on finding continuity, your own symbolism, and your own reference point in these endeavors. I know the word ‘time’ is a little hard to swallow, and is mediocre advice at best, but how does one expect to suddenly have a tulpa become masterful at possession, or even switching without stacking up those experiential cases, and actually having novelty in the little things?

[SoloRider]

This tulpa of mine has surprised me with every little step I took. I believe that she may be special and has the potential to do some amazing things with me. The only thing holding her back seems to be my own incompitence. Checking out the newer guides seems like a bright idea. Though I did come back to this, I still feel that I might have been subconsciencely running away. I definitely won't stop this time! No more excuses!

[Linkzelda]

Thanks Ada.

 

SoloRider:

 

When it comes to creating excuses, our minds will spur whatever novelty to fuel what resonates to us at the time. This is why it's easy for others to be caught at a dead-end. It may not be applicable in all scenarios, but one thing I've found irrespective of my personal failures and shortcomings is to twist things around to where the mind is spurring novelty towards these things I want to understand not just for myself, but the companions I treat as sentient in my head. Which means I have to embrace whatever intellect I may have, even if it's not by much, because with both of them around, and at least there's someone else to bounce ideas around towards improving self-progression altogether.

 

I can't expect anyone to save me. We can only save ourselves, and stand by our convictions. If you have convictions, then you have strength of heart. It sounds cheesy, I know, but this is just another member that has went through pain like anyone else. It's a silver lining that keeps coming back to me to this day.

[SoloRider]

Thank you Ada, I have a better understanding of everything now. I believe that my tulpa is still there so I'll try to reconcile with her. I have hope in that things will turn out for the better because I'm going to fight for it this time around. I wonder if the host's strength affects the ability of a tulpa to possess, because I am very weak due to illnesses that I have been struggling with for four years now.

[Linkzelda]

Thank you Ada, I have a better understanding of everything now. I believe that my tulpa is still there so I'll try to reconcile with her. I have hope in that things will turn out for the better because I'm going to fight for it this time around. I wonder if the host's strength affects the ability of a tulpa to possess, because I am very weak due to illnesses that I have been struggling with for four years now.

 

I don’t think it’s solely due to your strength that could affect the ability of a tulpa to possess, but rather the underlying, hidden question that escapes us all in all of these operations and discussions that go on in the forum, and that is:

 

-          How the mind can even be capable of instantiating, or manifesting subjectivity, and qualia (e.g. sense data)

 

No matter how many threads I may make on philosophy, or how any other member makes on this, the #1 thing, IMO, is this futility we all suffer in, which is the hard problem of consciousness. I respond to a ‘year of nothing’ as a yearly audit of how no matter how much the community may progress, unless the hard problems of consciousness has a smaller gap than before when it comes to how subjectivity arises in each individual, then yes, it will always seem to be a year of nothing.

 

I want to be a believer that there’s nobody in this forum that says, “I want to fucking bathe in a tulpa’s blood, and do a horrible job at it.” Because that leads to shooting oneself in the foot. Just know, even with guides, analogies, symbolism, and such, I share the same sentiment as you in it being difficult to find continuity of how one ‘ought to possess, or how one ought to switch.’

 

I’ve found my own fallbacks in regards to that, but unfortunately, like mentioned in other posts, I don’t know how to express my subjectivity directly to you. So yeah, in a way, you have a right to be frustrated in that regard. In a way, I am incompetent as much as you think you feel incompetent as well. Do not feel you are alone in this.

[tulpa001]

I don't think the strength of the host's body has much to do with the ability of the tulpa to take control of the body. Only their strength will similarly be limited.

 

I do know that how strong the host's relationship to the body is does affect how easy it is for a tulpa to possess. A host is the primary obstacle that a tulpa has to overcome in gaining possession.

[Lucilyn]

well normally if you were like weaker it would be easier for something like that to happen, I think. in new age spirituality supposedly it's easier to astral project when you're sick/weak, and otherwise you're just sort of vulnerable it lots of ways. I don't see why you'd have to be strong to do anything tulpa related at all, other than just being able to focus.

 

Also also, for the host's relationship to their body being strong/the body being strong, I'd say both of those are a definite yes for us and we learned to switch just fine. We just got tired after a few hours at first and had to get better at it over the months

[KarlYoshimura]

There are at least several good reasons as to why one should avoid this forum, yet I feel that what you and your tulpa seek to gain may out-weigh what could be considered trifling differences.

 

While I've never read that one is re-awakened to a tulpa's presence by possessive characteristics, I can state that I have personally felt a tulpa's intent without mind-voice, in the form of particular contractions and shivers run up my spinal column (well before I'd been able to "hear" a voice). Another older member of the site, Nobillis, had a host who'd received similar kinds of communication from his older tulpas. While I could be operating upon confirmation bias, I none-the-less accept the notion that tulpas can and do find a way to reach out without clarity of voice or other, more apparent modes of expression.

 

Either way, I wish you the very best in your endeavour. If we can be of assistance, you're more than welcome to ask us.