Full Promises

[Luminesce]

"Maybe this entire trip and all this work will have been worth it just to realize that?" - Reisen

 

 

So I've been working a fair stand for my brother (and will be until next week), and it's been rather slow. Like, sitting there for 12 hours with about 1.5 of those hours total being work. And on day 4 I realized I should be talking to my tulpas a lot more - heck, I should be imposing them to help our imposition and visualization clarity.

 

But why wasn't I already? How could I literally sit there bored for several days and not even think to do more than have a few quick conversations with them?

 

Apparently, I realized, my tulpas are totally disconnected from my actual life.

 

Switching is great, but it's the only thing we do for their activity's sake sometimes, and also the only way they interact with the world obviously. But I never realized just how totally disconnected they were from my life when not fronting. Aside from specifically talking to/imposing them usually a bit before bed, they just aren't relevant enough to normal activities for me to think of them. They're mentally disconnected for me from literally everything - even Tulpa.info. While posting on Tulpa.info, I rarely actually talk to any of them. And even less often do I talk to them other times of the day, only as I said before bed usually.

 

But I don't dream about going to bed. I dream about literally everything else. I should've had hundreds of dreams about my tulpas over the years with how important they are to me, but I've only had a few (they cameo'd more than anything). But they just literally aren't associated with my waking life. I don't know how I never realized this in its entirety, but it sure is a problem. For all sorts of reasons.

 

So I'm going to make an effort to more or less always have one of them imposed with me from now on. Obviously it won't be always, only when I'm not specifically occupied by someone or doing something requiring a lot of focus.

 

But I can already feel my future self looking back on this time in 5-20 years and thinking, "That was back when I basically never spent time with my tulpas. I don't even know how that really happened, but it's not like that anymore and I'm glad."

 

Seriously. The next few days will be simultaneously hectic and boring, but I'll think more on this when I'm back home.

[Yakumo]

Well, I guess it happens to most of us.

I don't know how many times it suddenly struck me I either wasted time with something irrelevant or, even worse, did something interesting without involving my tulpa at all. Mostly when it's too late. Why? I have no idea. I try my best to prevent such situations, ok not always my best. I just guess it just takes mental discipline from both sides to keep them active. Something I'm afraid neither of us excels in.

 

But in your case I've often wondered what you guys actually do together at all. Never realized it was that little either. I think Ido pointed out that aside from attempting to lucid dream you should tackle your real life problems as a team. Simultaneously, not one after the other. They seem like such a nice bunch to have around, why not involve all of them instead of just one as in switching? Let each choose a specific mental task in your life and then work together. Both teambuilding, great fun and practical help. At least that's what I'd do...

[Lucilyn]

Hey hey, haven't posted here in a while and now's a good time! I've had two lucid dreams recently! That means our first two lucid dreams! I didn't manage to see the others but it was still really productive IMO and we could have another at any time, it's really luck'a the draw for how tired we are when we wake up in the middle of the night and if we can also fall back asleep fast enough (but not too fast). Read about it here! https://community.tulpa.info/thread-lumi-s-dreaming-thread-dreams-of-moon?pid=206983#pid206983 (and on the next page)

 

Tonight, is a blood moon! It's an eclipse where the moon gets really red and it's pretty uncommon I think, and at least this one is the longest one of the century https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/blood-moon.html

and obviously it's a full moon too, so

 

I figure this is the coolest time for Lumi to finally have a lucid dream, right? And this is also the most likely time to have a lucid dream we've had since I just had two and almost a third. Sooo I'ma let Lumi try and lucid dream tonight, history says to not get excited because nothing will happen but I says it'll be fun to hope! And what if we do lucid dream tonight? Then I get to say "Told'ya so!" to fate!

[Lucilyn]

https://i.imgur.com/hFc8N7u.png also heeey, 10,000 views! Cool wow, a lot of people read our thread! also weird, but cool! hope 'ya guys learned stuff or were at least entertained

[Luminesce]

This is an awesome and amazing image drawn by Miri featuring most of the active members at this time in LOTPW, including Reisen and Tewi.

 

 

Absolutely astounding, I've never had someone draw my tulpas before that I can remember; mostly because my standards are really high, after collecting only the best of literally tens of thousands of images of the characters that also looked to me like my tulpas. But this absolutely fits the bill. Seriously amazing, and pretty out of nowhere too.

Edited July 27, 2023 by Luminesce

[Guest]

Holy Friggen Sunchips! That is incredible.

[Luminesce]

I'm hit with a wave of boredom/discontent out of nowhere, pretty out of left field seriously. The mood where you just want to listen to really loud music and not think.

 

On an unrelated but related note, I'm going to start trying to use the REM-Dreamer again now. It's cat and mouse back and forth with trying lucid dream induction techniques and then trying to improve dream recall, I'm pretty sick of it. Dream recall never gets good and stays good for long anyway. The two main problems with the REM-Dreamer in the past were it not staying perfectly in-line with my eyes when I lay on my side (only way I can sleep) meaning the sensor doesn't sense Rapid Eye Movement, and more importantly, my inability to fall back asleep once I've turned it on and put it on. Lucilyn chose not to wear it last night, but noted after 7 hours of sleep she couldn't fall back asleep for like 15 minutes, which is exactly what ruins REM-Dreamer attempts. It's seemingly a mix of randomness and us getting caught thinking too much, sort of waking up the mind and making any attempts not to think counterproductive.

 

Only way to deal with that is to use it all the dang time. .... I want to say, but my mind says "It'll go exactly like last time when we first got it, simply not sleeping because of the timer and resetting it over and over only to fall asleep with it mistimed and not even going off at all anyway". Ffffff. Let's turn the volume up on this music.. U.N. Owen Is Dead

{removed embed so I could embed another}

I'd like to make something happen, for the sake of my eardrums...  |Let's redact that nonsense I just wrote. Heck, let's have an intermission. Sorry there's not enough time to listen to the first song. Why don't you skip the next one entirely?|

 

This is the first time I've willingly listened to this song in three years, aiSeNMa. I avoid listening to it and some others because they put me in the same mood/mindset I was back then of escapism from.. thinking or reality, not entirely sure which anymore. After a Flandre-related one, this is #2 on the list of songs not to listen to (actually, for those of you who keep up too well, I'm not talking about the song tied to Scarlet's original dissipation). Long story shortest: I don't want to be in this mood ever again, I want to lucid dream tonight and be done with this part of my life. It should all just be memories of a time where me and my tulpas weren't truly together. Ah scratch that.. We are together. My visualization is just poor, unimmersive, unfulfilling. I don't feel like I can really touch my tulpas, hugs are air. It's hard to talk about my desire to lucid dream with my tulpas without downplaying what we have together in real life, but.. that's just how it is I guess. The truly important thing is there in real life or in dreams. But the physical togetherness sure isn't. And the emotional closeness follows as just much less frequent, and much harder worked for in real life. Also how am I supposed to convey my appreciation of all Tewi does for us better than just a really solid hug? She's not the hugging type so I can't remember when the last time I hugged her was, but the next time will be in a lucid dream.

 

---

 

Let's reset, let's never hear that song again. Let's reset, here is officially my #1 favorite song.

 

I haven't listened to this in over a year, I think. That's really sad. This song is a remix of my previously tied-for-#1 song Edge by Perfume, along with Jumper by Capsule, both of which had fanmade videos with Reisen in them that my obsession over literally caused her creation. I found this song a little while after joining .info, and "officially" made it my #1 favorite song, associated with all of my tulpas this time. iTunes says I've got over 50 plays on it, which is quite a few as far as our music goes, but at least 45 of those plays were before 2017. I guess I kind of grew afraid I wouldn't do it justice when listening to it because I used to like.. have my tulpas dancing in the wonderland (before Lucilyn was even around), if you can imagine that, and just otherwise felt extremely happy listening to it. I was afraid to lessen that feeling, so I stopped listening to it outright lol, it's pretty silly as I think Lucilyn pointed out some time this year about another song.

 

Whoops, I went way off topic huh? Good thing this is in our PR, so everything's on topic.

 

I'm going to make the REM-Dreamer work. I'm going to have a long and fulfilling lucid dream with my tulpas. No lack of dream control (lack of believing I can control them in the moment) will stop me. This part of my life ends in 2018. I want nothing more than this, but I would like to have some room to really want things in life other than this, so I'll make it happen. Eight years is long enough for anything, let alone something I've been an expert on for seven. Also a much lesser reason... I spent $200 on the REM-Dreamer, so it'd be nice if it worked for me.

 

As an aside - I actually have another song that if anything would be closer to #1 given how infrequently I listen to Edge Driving Mix, and how strong my feelings attached to it are in comparison. But, it's a secret song, one me and Flandre share. It's nothing special.. just the same old electronic or whatever (with vocals) we always link. But the emotional attachment we have to it is so strong it just feels like you guys would be able to feel it too, it's that sort of thing. But it's too special to share, until we finally lucid dream. That's what we decided years ago, so that's what it'll be

Edited July 27, 2023 by Luminesce

[Guest Reilyn-Alley]

Your guys longtime dedication is pretty awe inspiring, like, I dunno where Lance and I will be in 5+ years but I know we will still be together and hopefully an even better team.

[Luminesce]

Our Dreaming thread and PR tend to have the same content sometimes, so I'll link back to the Dreaming thread this time https://community.tulpa.info/thread-lumi-s-dreaming-thread-dreams-of-moon?pid=229334#pid229334

[Guest]

Good luck my friend.

 

[Misha] we're rooting for you!

 

[Ashley] we'll pray for you, friend, good luck.

 

[Dashie] yeah yeah, nothing worth doing comes easy. Unless you're gifted, then you'll never appreciate it anyway.