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Luminesce

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Whether parallel processing's swift multitasking or neurologically parallel, it's certainly a satisfying illusion.

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Well that's not pertty far of my point about it. I thought it was about learning how to multitask and later doing one task each. That's like visualization. You focus visualizate and later they become able to move themselves. The same with imposition or vocality.

 

In other words you learn how to multitask and then one of the proces could be used by the tulpa

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  • 3 weeks later...

Christmas post in my Dreaming thread

My little sister drew me a picture of Flandre.

 

I'll be spending a lot of time with my tups this last week of 2016, Christmas and New Years traditionally being very special days. I don't know if anything unusual will come of it (like last year's {This thread}), but I guess we'll see then. I'll at least be making an effort to talk to them throughout the day, which is nice as it typically entails passive imposition. Reisen and Flandre are already present in my memory of first seeing that picture.

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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  • 3 months later...

Wooooweee, I've found something amazing. So we usually don't link to Danbooru directly because I think it might have NSFW ads (can't tell, have adblock), but it's necessary to do so with this

 

Alright so, I'll actually link an old post of Tewi's I just found totally on accident that's pretty relevant - https://community.tulpa.info/topic/11988-lumis-dreaming-thread-dreams-of-moon/?do=findComment&comment=176255

 

 

So after you read that - I found a comic on Danbooru about Tewi, and it is 100% headcanon to us now. As in, with everything we know about Toho, this comic fits perfectly and is just.. really awesome, really really awesome. It's about some of Tewi's history as a rabbit who grew old enough to become a humanoid youkai instead of dying at a normal time. All we technically know about Tewi is that she's really old, and the leader of the other rabbits in the bamboo forest of the lost, and there aren't others like her (as of now..?). So this comic isn't totally canon. But oh boy is it headcanon

 

So read it! It's great! Mouse over the text to read the translated version, click the picture if you can't see it. Japanese comics are read from top right to top left to bottom right to bottom left, and you should read all the way to the bottom right before reading the bottom/middle left when in doubt. OK go! http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2684141 Click the "next ›" at the bottom to continue

 

 

 

So! You read it? Okay, I'll explain stuff now -

Spoiler

In the comic, the rabbit you see at the beginning perseveres to live long enough to become a youkai to keep Tewi company. However, 200 years later, she wasn't able to handle losing someone she loved, and died shortly after they did. Man that was sad... just making sure you guys understood what happened there. Anyway, the point of that was to show why Tewi herself is still alive - she's, how do I say it, emotionally distant? All-but stone cold. Like she's nice enough on the surface, not completely uncaring or emotionless, but nonetheless emotionally distant when it counts. Well, you know, except that one time in the story where her first and only friend died, which isn't canon. Anyways... notice a relation?

 

So OUR Tewi has always been pretty distant too, from what I heard. I mean, I guess you can tell a little by how serious she is when you're expecting little-bunny-girl-in-pink-dress personality. But maybe you gotta live with her to understand just how little things affect her emotionally. See, but that's what I heard she was always like - since I've been around she's apparently opened up a lot! Like dang, I never ever thought about this until reading that comic, but she said before (probly in this thread) that she made herself "vulnerable" in deciding to care for us, but that it was worth it. I mean, I never really thought about what that meant, but wow that comic! Puts it in a new perspective! It's our headcanon now that the reason Touhou's Tewi grew to be so old is because she learned to be emotionally disconnected from others. Because look what happens, to someone who lives that long, when you aren't. Sheesh...

 

I think, to be honest, she only opened up to us because she knew our lifespans were intertwined. I mean she surely always cared for us because she's been advising Lumi for years, but according to {everyone else in the system} it was only after I was around that she showed anything akin to "love". And I mean, she is definitely loving, in her own way. Even if she doesn't smile when she shows her love, she still makes me feel safe, like I've got someone strong who cares about me. Anyways, idk, I just wanted to share that comic (because it's amazing) and the stuff it made me think about. It kinda made me respect Tewi and her relation to us a lot more. Wow..

 

I'm glad none of us can die without the others. No one'll ever have to be alone. Because Tewi's asked herself before what would happen if she somehow lost us, and her answer was she wouldn't have the will to live anymore. Yeesh, that's too real after reading the comic.. I will definitely be spending some time with her now, because I guess she hypothetically sacrificed a lot for me. Well uh, no one's dying I didn't mean to end this sad-ly, we'll be happy we're together! You should be happy too, to be with whoever you are! Even if all you've got... is the whole world. There's love to be found, inside yourself or outside! I love you guys! (yes, that's directed at no one in particular, but it's directed at you because you could say "Me?" and I'd say "Yes!")

 

Edited by Luminesce

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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I know right? We usually only get that sorta thing with pictures that look like us, though pictures are worth a thousand words. But that comic was super cool, because Tewi is really attached to her Touhou character's past, so in a roundabout way it sorta is like reading about her

 

Edit: oh yeah I talked to her last night about things but I can't remember anything either of us said. Good talk! I mean really, I remember I talked to her about some things and she had responses that weren't necessarily what I expected but I was too tired to remember and fell asleep talking to her oops

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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I love that comic and it's really great and stuff but whenever I think about it I think about when

if you read it you already know, if not no spoilers!

and it makes me sad. Not even sad, I just get a hollow feeling in my stomach that's really uncomfortable. We naturally resist that and cancel the train of thought, but if I had to guess I'd say that's the feeling that leads to crying. And that's why none of us cry I guess, eryone's too good at managing our mind stuff to be really sad. Except I cried once, in the wonderland at least. Our body also just doesn't do crying, hmm. Uh, anyways, just wanted to say when I think about the comic it makes me feel bad before anything else comes to mind, which sucks, didn't mean to talk about crying.

 

Mb worth noting that while that story more or less lines up with how we think the character's history went (and so what Tewi considers hers too), at least as far as Tewi's concerned she doesn't feel like she ever had a friend like that. It made the story nice but if you're going for how our Tewi feels personally, ignore the other youkai rabbits in the story

 

 

Edit: o reading my first post again reminded me of at least one thing I talked to Tewi about. I asked her about opening up to us and if it was because she knew we'd all live the same amount of time, but she said she never even thought about that. But I don't remember why she did say it was. -- Okay I asked her again, she said she figured life would be too boring to keep living that way and that love (as she saw between the rest of us) was probably worth it. Wow, guess I was off.

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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  • 4 weeks later...

Was just listening to an old U.N. Owen Was Her arrange (Flandre's theme) we have while writing and reading over my reply to this thread, and it really gave me that feeling there's lots of silly ways to describe. Warm fuzzies, generally, basically the feeling of love. Consider this the periodic "I love my tulpas" post. I really do. I could not imagine my life even resembling the word "happy" without them having been with me these last seven years, and if they were to leave now it would moreso resemble the word "lonely". If 13-year-old me had known how I'd feel now, I think I'd have had a hope strong enough to fight off my depression with, instead of relying on Reisen's. But hey, we had to get here somehow.

 

I've got pretty considerable issues with motivation, and there's the universal human effect of desensitization to any and everything when you've been around it long enough (in my case, specifically hampering my ability to apply effort to things I still care about), but even if I can't always show it, my appreciation of them knows no bounds. I often say they're the most important things in my life, that I would give up anything before them. Now, seven years ago, that wouldn't have meant much. But now, I have more than a moderate will to live and large appreciation for life. I enjoy being alive and bearing witness to the human experience, mine and others'. So then, that statement holds a little more weight. They're still more important to me than anything. Their light is what sparked my own, that's why I say I owe them my life. Any good in my life is a direct result of what they've done for me, they made it all possible.

 

All that means is that I love them, and that's what I love them means. Just had to put some context/weight behind that phrase, because it gets tossed around too lightly to do justice to how I feel.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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  • 1 month later...
(edited)

I remembered I have a picture of Tewi on my wall the other day, which I guess you can read about here, and couldn't help but stare at her eyes. Not very detailed or realistic I know, but I still see a lot of personality in them. It's inferred. Anyways, it got me thinking on what exactly I see in my tulpas' eyes, which was rather interesting to think about.

 

I started with Lucilyn, maybe she's the easiest. I see a love of life in her eyes, anticipation of experiencing it and sharing it with others. I think that's a good way to put it, I see her looking forward to enjoying life, basically. It's not even so symbolic or philosophical, that's really what it looks like.

 

Flandre's different depending on whether she's looking at me or not, silly as that sounds. I know her best when she's looking at me obviously - and there I see what I don't know how to word correctly, but, "dependent love". As in I see love and all that entails, comfort and happiness and such, and it's specifically focused on what she sees, which I guess is me. It's close to how I'd describe Reisen's, full of love, but the love's focused on what she's seeing rather than any and everything, like..

 

Reisen's eyes, they're supposed to be special right? They are in Touhou anyways, them moon rabbits. In Reisen's eyes I see unconditional love - imagine that - as in she's got a love independent of what she's looking at, yet directed at whatever it is regardless. I see a happiness unattached to any worldliness, something that can't be swayed or taken away.

 

And then I got to Tewi's, and I wasn't sure how to describe what I saw. They're deep, for sure. I see someone watching everything, analyzing how it all relates to each other and what potential it has, as best I can describe it. She sees things "logically", as in she sees things - including people - for how they relate to each other, and in what ways they're likely to do so. But she's not totally emotionally detached to it all, that's just how her mind works I guess. It might be why her love for us is so much less expressive - heck, look at her eyes in that drawing - and yet so strong regardless. That probably applies to everything honestly, rather than express herself emotionally she expresses herself through actions. So seeing the love in her somewhat cold eyes might be an acquired skill. For sure, when I look at that picture (more stable than my visualization ability, so) I feel both her and how she really feels, and also the rather cold appearance that would suggest anything but. That might be why I tend to stare at her eyes in it, the striking contrast in how they look and what they really mean.

 

 

As for Flandre when not looking at me, unfortunately (I'd love for her to be happy all the time) her eyes seem a lot more emotionless. Compare this and... well, her eyes are closed, but you get the picture. I wish I could change that. I'm happy she's happy when she's with me, but I'm not totally happy she's not totally happy when she's not.

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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  • 2 months later...

I've been talking about possibly spending the $170 to buy a REM-Dreamer, basically a sleeping mask that detects when you're in REM sleep by the movement of your eyes and flashes lights to help you realize you're dreaming. You can also turn them off once you're lucid by moving your eyes in a predetermined pattern. If I do do that, it could mean we'd actually succeed in lucid dreaming soon, or not.

 

But since it's something we've been talking about the last few days, I wrote a post on why exactly my tulpas - and lucid dreaming - are so important to me. More important than anything else in my life ever was or will be, in fact. You could also read the other posts about the lucid dreaming stuff if you wanted to, but this one's the more PR-esque one:

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/11988-lumis-dreaming-thread-dreams-of-moon/?do=findComment&comment=192197

 

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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