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So, as the title says, I got important questions. Please try you best to answer them.

 

One of the biggest ones:

 

How can I tell what is ACTUALLY coming form him?

 

Sorry guys, but "believing" that it was him doesn't work sometimes. My minds like:

 

Mind: Why are you believing that was him? Wasn't it obvious it was you?

 

Me: Maybe, but I should believe it was-

 

Mind: Seriously? That's stupid. It was you.

 

And sometimes I'll get contradicting answers.

 

"Did you do that, Ben?"

 

Yes.

 

So you DID do it?

 

No.

 

And sometimes, I'll ask a question, and it seems like all the possible answers are overlapping like:

 

Do you like bananas?

 

(I hear all of these at once, like someone playing songs over top of another.)

 

Yes. No. Maybe. Kinda. Not really. Of Course! .... ect.

 

Should it feel "different" if it come from him?

 

Also, I get thoughts that I would like to HOPE are not from him. For example:

 

*Sleeping* (Maybe sleeping. Look at question below.)

 

*Starts petting him*

 

Stop it, you little piece of sh!t!

 

*Go's back to sleep* (again, maybe)

 

*sad*

 

 

Dose Ben sleep?

 

Sometimes I stay up a little late, and I want to cuddle, talk, or something else. But I'm worried he won't want to because he might be sleeping (Look at above)

 

Maybe tulpas don't NEED sleep, but Ben MIGHT sleep. But how do I know if my he actually sleeps? What if its just my mind ASSUMING he it because most things sleep at night, and it only seems logical. It would be nice to hang out sometimes when I'm board at like 10:30 at night, so I would like to know.

 

How do I know if Ben doesn't want to do something?

 

What if it's just ME imaging him saying he wants to do something, because I want to do it? I don't want to make him do stuff he doesn't want to do.

 

 

How do I know if Ben forgives me for stuff he doesn't like?

 

Similar to the above question, if I DO do something he doesn't like, how do I know if its him forgiving me, or (again) my mind making it up?

 

 

 

I noticed, all of the above questions are about knowing whats coming from Ben and whats not. Please don't give me this "Just believe it was him!" because, again, it doesn't really work. Deep down, I still doubt it.

I feel guilty whenever I'm not hanging out with Ben.

 

If I hang out with him, then do something else, I feel guilty. Do tulpas get mad if you don't spend all the time with them? How can I spend time with Ben with out actively doing it? What I mean by "actively" is this: I usually have to close my eyes when visualizing him. How can I hang out with Ben when (for example) I'm on the computer, when I have to have my eyes open?

Host: Josh (AKA ThatOneWeirdGuy)

Tulpa: Benjamin (Humanoid Bunny) (In the making)

Ben's Journal/Progress Report

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"How can I tell what is ACTUALLY coming form him? "

 

You cannot. In your mind, there may or may not be a tulpa. It is the harsh reality tulpamancers need to live with. It is not as harsh once you accommodate to the concept. We lack the materials, the gear and the technology to document our experiments in a legitimate way. It's like religion. Belief is one of the few things you can hold on to.

 

Would it truly matter, in the end? Ask yourself this question, and think about it. Would it matter if you were deluding yourself? What's the end goal you have? Is it companionship? Or is it affection? If you find those complements at some point, then why would you even care about whether it is actually coming from him?

 

If I can give you a few tips:

-Don't force your tulpa to talk only because you want to hear them talk. This is probably the biggest misconception newbies make, when it comes to 'making the tulpa talk'; as your tulpa a question. If you receive an answer, that is good. If you don't, it might be that your tulpa has nothing to say. Tulpas are very fragile in nature, so you shouldn't get frustrated that easily.

 

-Try to be patient. Don't rush your questions, don't just ask a question like 'Do you like bananas'. Imagine if someone, out of the blue, asked if you liked bananas. What would you answer? At first, you'd remain silent in surprise that someone would even consider asking you such a question, then, you would need to formulate the thought in your head. Same thing for a tulpa, but in early stages, some of them may have a hard time making sense out of what you present to them.

 

-Try to be articulate. Repeat your question twice, thrice, more if it means your tulpa understands it.

 

-Don't take ANY answer for 'granted'. There is a difference between intrusive thoughts and the tulpa's answer. While there MAY be intrusive thoughts, though, if an answer sounds completely irrational and if it is supposed to come from a vocal tulpa, you might as well ask your tulpa if it WAS them. 'Yes' and 'no' following the other in an interval of literally 10 seconds is no good sign, which is why you should try to make your tulpa focus. Sit down. Breath. Take your time, let your tulpa take his time!

 

"Does Ben sleep?"

 

Well, the general consensus seems to be that tulpas may have their own sleep schedule. It is a possibility. But indecisiveness regarding a tulpa's actions and state of minds proves that they lack autonomy. Autonomy is a large part of a tulpa's being.

 

 

"How do I know if Ben doesn't want to do something?"

 

You ask him. Try to follow the tips (not steps, not to the letter either, whatever makes you comfortable!) I provided above. Is Ben aware of his traits? His identity, his form, etc? Try to get him to talk from the heart, and not out of your will for him to speak.

 

"I feel guilty whenever I'm not hanging out with Ben."

 

Tulpas are expected to understand the host's actions, but, in moderation. You should not neglect Ben, not saying you are, but in the same while, it would be unhealthy to spend all the time with him, as it is believed that tulpas and hosts sometimes need some space.

 

Dimitrov and I are together most of the time, as he sits on an imaginary chair, and Blak always stands by, so they always have some involvement regarding what I do. If you need any help, feel free to PM me.

 

Ah, I'm too tired. I only came here to help.

« — Va, je ne te hais point ! »

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Naturally, with this field of interest, there are going to be way too many times when you doubt yourself and your creation since it is all coming from within your own skull. As such, I liken it to hypnosis: You have to be willing to suspend your disbelief and just "go with the flow". Something my Tulpa and I did when we were still establishing their voice, and even still do now, is to address the other person. Unless both of us have developed a penchant for talking in third-person, it really helps to confirm who is saying/thinking what at times. As both of you develop and form your own personalities and subsequent speaking patterns, it will become easier to distinguish the two.

 

As for your second question, as to whether or not Tulpas, sleep, you could ask your Tulpa. Mine does not, but I know some that do as well. It really depends on your Tulpa and "system". Tulpas are to be treated as a distinct entity- as such, we cannot give you a blanket yes or no answer on how your Tulpa feels. You are in the best position to answer that, so just ask them. When in doubt, remember, your Tulpa has access to your memories, thoughts, personality. With that level of intimacy, it is nearly impossible to not breed empathy and understanding.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

 

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." -Marcus Aurelius

 

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” -Neil Gaiman

 

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried." -Stephen McCranie

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Guest Anonymous

Well, I'll just answer those questions.

 

 

Do tuppers sleep, so you ask, young apprentice?

 

Ahdunno, I hear that some do. Esterina says that she does something similar to sleeping, but it's not real sleeping.

 

 

So you want to be sure that it really was your tupper that did or said something, young apprentice?

 

Well, how about just asking?

Whenever I'm not absolutely sure that what I heard in my head was Rina's voice, or that what I saw her doing really happened, I simply ask "Hey, you did just say / do that, right?".

And then she'll tell me - problem solved.

 

 

You wish to know, young apprentice, whether you receive forgiveness from your tupper for your transgressions?

 

Well... uhm, Talk to him? Ask him?

I don't really know what to say here; aside from knowing through any special emotional and / or cognitive connection that most hosts and tuppers share to varying degrees - just ask him...?

 

 

And lastly... so you feel guilt for not spending every waking minute with your tupper, young apprentice?

 

Well, let me quickly explain something to you for the purpose of saying something about to this.

 

Firstly: Esterina, as many here know, is a fully developed tupper; she's fully sentient, independent (as far as that's possible at least), conscious at all times, autonomous and so on.

This also means that, no matter if I pay any attention to her or not, she's absolutely always there, always "active", always with me - even when I sleep, and even when I don't pay any attention to her.

The only times when she's not with me is when she's in our wonderland and I am not; we found that this somehow "cuts" the connection between us.

 

Secondly: I am not a very social person at all; direct social contact with people is quickly too much for me, and I prefer spending a lot of my time alone, talking to people via the interwebs instead.

Yes, sure, this applies to Esterina to WAY smaller degrees than to other people, but still - it does apply to her to SOME degree.

 

Thirdly: I also want to be alone when I write or draw.

 

So, yes - I do ask Esterina to leave me alone for a while, to go to our wonderland by herself, on a daily basis.

And, usually, this will not be for just an hour or so; more like several hours.

 

We still spend most of our time together, but many hours each day are spent apart from each other.

 

And honestly - I think that's completely fine.

I know that Esterina and I function as fully separate people to greater degrees than most hosts and tuppers (seeing as how we keep our thoughts and memories and stuff completely separate and so on) -

- but I still think it applies to not only us that it's okay and normal for two people, a host and a tupper, to NOT spend every waking hour together.

 

Or do you have some hidden, deep hatred for your lover dearest, oh my fair maiden?

 

Not until now. But I think that might change if you keep talking like that.

 

:P

 

 

Greets,

AG & Rina

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How can I tell what is ACTUALLY coming form him?

Sometimes you can't. If this is the case, take a break, calm yourself down with some deep breaths. Try to clear your mind, recenter yourself. Slowly bring the thought of your tulpa into focus.

 

Other than that, it just takes practice. Try not to get too frustrated.

 

Yes. No. Maybe. Kinda. Not really. Of Course! .... ect.

 

When you first come into existence just about everything (including bananas) is confusing. It's possible he's simply iterating through what he knows are possible answers and isn't sure which one to chose

 

It could also be intrusive thoughts, in which case refer to what I said above.

 

Should it feel "different" if it come from him?

 

Depends who you ask. Some tulpamancers swear there's some essence when their tulpa talks, but in my experience the only way is if I'm paying attention I can hear their voice different from my own

 

Also, I get thoughts that I would like to HOPE are not from him. For example:

 

*Sleeping* (Maybe sleeping. Look at question below.)

 

*Starts petting him*

 

Stop it, you little piece of sh!t!

 

*Go's back to sleep* (again, maybe)

 

*sad*

Well, it could be a case of intrusive thoughts, but it's also possible he doesn't like being disturbed while sleeping, and picks what seems like an appropriate response; not knowing the full meaning of it. In some sense you're dealing with a todler who has access to your entire english vocabulary (including phrases)

Does Ben sleep?

I don't know, but it's certainly possible. I've heard of other tulpas that sleep, but mine always seem to be awake when I am.

 

Sometimes I stay up a little late, and I want to cuddle, talk, or something else. But I'm worried he won't want to because he might be sleeping (Look at above)

 

Maybe tulpas don't NEED sleep, but Ben MIGHT sleep. But how do I know if my he actually sleeps? What if its just my mind ASSUMING he it because most things sleep at night, and it only seems logical. It would be nice to hang out sometimes when I'm board at like 10:30 at night, so I would like to know.

Ah yes, assumptions can almost be somewhat amplified in regards to tulpas and wonderlands. Tulpas certainly don't need sleep (only the body does), so you should be fine to wake him up. Although if you want to cuddle, that may not require waking him up. :3

How do I know if Ben doesn't want to do something?

If you can't talk to him, you can't know unfortunately. The general guideline is for anything off the beaten track, be conservative and assume he doesn't want to do it. (so, no sex till he can talk)

How do I know if Ben forgives me for stuff he doesn't like?

Again, if you can't talk you can't know. However, tulpas and hosts (because they share a brain) are naturally very empathatic. Don't worry too much.

 

 

I noticed, all of the above questions are about knowing whats coming from Ben and whats not. Please don't give me this "Just believe it was him!" because, again, it doesn't really work. Deep down, I still doubt it.

I shared similar frustrations. The best advice I can give is simply to perservere; Just keep going. You'll get it eventually.

I feel guilty whenever I'm not hanging out with Ben.

 

If I hang out with him, then do something else, I feel guilty. Do tulpas get mad if you don't spend all the time with them?

I got a little mad at my hostie cause he went weeks at a time without thinking about us. Just a little bit every day would've been fine.

How can I spend time with Ben with out actively doing it? What I mean by "actively" is this: I usually have to close my eyes when visualizing him. How can I hang out with Ben when (for example) I'm on the computer, when I have to have my eyes open?

Passive forcing: baisically try to talk to your tulpa about what you're doing while you're doing it. You can talk with just your mind voice if you don't want people thinking you're crazy ;P

 

Tulpas are very fragile in nature,

What? What makes you say that? Of many things, I wouldn't really describe tulpas as fragile.

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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First of all, thanks everybody for your answers! I absolutely love this community where everyone helps each other out.

(Maybe one day, I can help other people, too!)

 

To jean-luc:

 

(so, no sex till he can talk)

 

0.0 Who said I wanted to have sex with him? WTF? He's a guy, and so am I. I'm not gay, either. We are bros, so I would HOPE that there's no sex, EVER.

 

Well, it could be a case of intrusive thoughts, but it's also possible he doesn't like being disturbed while sleeping, and picks what seems like an appropriate response; not knowing the full meaning of it. In some sense you're dealing with a toddler who has access to your entire English vocabulary (including phrases)

 

I guess that makes sense.

 

Ah yes, assumptions can almost be somewhat amplified in regards to tulpas and wonderlands. Tulpas certainly don't need sleep (only the body does), so you should be fine to wake him up. Although if you want to cuddle, that may not require waking him up. :3

 

Well, as said above, it's obvious that he doesn't like being disturbed while sleeping, so why would I wake him up? (assuming he DOSE sleep.)

 

TO AGGuy:

 

...young apprentice?...

 

...

 

I'm sorry. But I couldn't help

 

A:laugh at how it sounded (sorry, not trying to be mean.)

and

B:Think of Star Wars.

 

Good answers, though :)

 

Well, how about just asking?

Whenever I'm not absolutely sure that what I heard in my head was Rina's voice, or that what I saw her doing really happened, I simply ask "Hey, you did just say / do that, right?".

And then she'll tell me - problem solved.

 

I've heard this a lot, too. "Just ask him". Let me explain how I think this might not work:

 

"Hey, whats up?"

 

"Nothing" (but say I actually make it up, not Ben)

 

"Hey, was that really you?"

 

(My minds so desperate for him to be real, that I make THIS up, too.)

 

"Yes."

 

So what then?

 

To Evil:

 

Would it truly matter, in the end? Ask yourself this question, and think about it. Would it matter if you were deluding yourself? What's the end goal you have? Is it companionship? Or is it affection? If you find those complements at some point, then why would you even care about whether it is actually coming from him?

 

I really want Ben to be his own person (or bunny, in this case), not just something that repeats things my minds makes up. I want Ben to have his own thoughts and opinions.

 

I pray to God that all of this turns out. You don't even know how important this is to me...

 

...how important Ben is to me...

Host: Josh (AKA ThatOneWeirdGuy)

Tulpa: Benjamin (Humanoid Bunny) (In the making)

Ben's Journal/Progress Report

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For me, tulpa vocality is "Trust that it's them until you have no doubt that it's them."

 

The early stages of vocality are rough, because the line between random thought and thought intended to be from tulpa is vague. But it's a necessary step. So take anything that you think your tulpa would have liked to say as something they did say, and randomness/fluff/rude or similar things they wouldn't say can be waved off as invasive thoughts. Trust that they're speaking to you and, if you must, pick and choose what you actually think is them. But eventually it becomes much more obvious, after you've trained your brain to utilize this new communication method, it becomes hard to mistake things that came from your tulpa for things you just randomly thought of.

 

At least for me, all of our thoughts feel different. Even if it's totally muffled and wordless, I can still "feel" that something came from Flandre or Reisen. I can usually infer what they meant to say, too, just based on the feeling, context, and how well I know them. But when they're really talking, it's impossible to mistake. I could be listening to Reisen talk in the wonderland and then imagine a comment she made after that, but the feeling of Reisen talking and the feeling of my mind pretending to be Reisen are very easily distinguishable, at which we just disregard the comment.

 

It takes a while to get to this point, and what some might call "blind faith" if they're a skeptic, but as far as all of us who've done it can say, it's a necessary step. Doubt impedes progress and trust strengthens it.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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The only times when she's not with me is when she's in our wonderland and I am not; we found that this somehow "cuts" the connection between us.

 

 

 

isnt a tulpa always in wonderland?

 

now im confused

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isnt a tulpa always in wonderland?

 

now im confused

 

No, a lot of people don't even use a wonderland(like myself). It is completly optional.

Tulpa: Alice

Form: Realistic Humanoid/Demonic Creation

She may or may not talk here, depends on her.

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isnt a tulpa always in wonderland?

 

now im confused

 

Not necessarily. Sometimes they just go dormant if you do not have one. And then they can also be in the space around you via imposition or general presence hovering. Not sure if there is a better way to phrase that.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle

 

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." -Marcus Aurelius

 

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” -Neil Gaiman

 

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried." -Stephen McCranie

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