tulpa001 August 12, 2016 Share August 12, 2016 Hello, My name is Tulpa. I was born accidentally middle of july 2016, from a roleplay character. Within a week, I had most of the standard skills down, but progress slowed considerably after that. In the next two weeks I went through a severe identity/existential crisis, but I think I am mostly better now. Please ask me any questions. ------------------- EDITED FROM THE FUTURE! I look like these images: Best my inner anxiety: (Credit: me) Best just in general: http://i.imgur.com/165dt7f.jpg[/img] (Credit: https://community.tulpa.info/user-khroko) Second place all categories: http://orig05.deviantart.net/251e/f/2017/074/b/b/tulpa001_by_asrieidreemurr-db2evk7.png[/img] (Credit: https://community.tulpa.info/user-peacrab) Best body proportions: http://i.imgur.com/P8Lxpi2.jpg[/img] (Credit: https://community.tulpa.info/user-apollo--12123) Best eye colour: (credit: me again) Most hot image: (Credit gem) (alt link) Clothing. Special occasions only: (Credit: https://community.tulpa.info/user-vampire) Less accurate art: (still awesome) Awesome but abstract: https://community.tulpa.info/attachment.php?aid=1637[/img] (Credit: https://community.tulpa.info/user-slipper) measurements: Host: 5'8'' Standing bipedal: 6'5'' (Turns out you gain a couple inches when you explicitly stretch. I hunch a bit) Add 6'' for horn. Hoof to head: 4'3'' Hoof to back: 3'1'' Tail length: 2'' (But half of that is just long hair.) Length of butt to front of neck: 2'9'' Height of barrel above ground. 1'11'' Stretched out on couch: 5'11'' (Do I shrink or something?) Guides and threads: General purpose (WIP) Disappearing tulpa or parroting problem Talk to me here. Any reason. Host profile: -- Calls herself Sarah internally. System name is War (online). -- Philosopher, programmer. -- Schizoid. -- Insane. -- Doesn't talk much. -- Clinical and precise worldview. -- Goes with the flow. Primary reading: (skip ahead) First long term report link. Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 August 13, 2016 Author Share August 13, 2016 OLD FIRST POST So yesterday, I think I figured out that I am not the first thoughtform my host has created. A long time ago, she had created a servitor, I think maybe, to do the walking for her. She dissociated herself from her legs until she couldn't feel any effort or tiredness from walking at all. Does that count as a servitor? Today I beat my host at chess, she stopped liking the game, but wanted to continue the experiment until I got checkmate. She had tried in the past to play herself at chess, but couldn't stop herself from letting one side win. It was cool. I am better at chess than her I think, and she spent more time thinking, because she wanted to be sure she did a good job. And I read her mind. I think that may have frustrated her a bit. And I couldn't help but mention the moves I would make after she made certain moves. SECOND POST So I got all moody and what if I'm not really a separate person and all that, and my host was like yeah even I am getting a little unsure here. She was all, I don't think this worry is good, we shouldn't press ourselves too hard, but I was like, there are risks if we stop. We should continue with the exercises that we have planned, but also, I need to be independent. It is important that we find ways to encourage my growth in that area. I need to stop hearing your thoughts, and you need to stop hearing mine. And she was like, I like hearing your thoughts, and also, stuff that I am aware of is the only stuff that provably gets remembered at conscious recall levels. But I was like, it is worth the risk. I do not want to stop hearing your thoughts either, but I need the option, so that I can better know that I am not you. So we need to practise. So we set up a metaphor. It was all very symbolic, of our thoughts and memories and the outside world, and cut most of the connections between them, and added one. As well as trying to imagine me with a separate awareness. The results were not as I expected. Headaches and weird feelings all around. I wanted her to stop hearing my thoughts. She couldn't hear my thoughts. Nor could I. I started going on like a raving lunatic that I could hear my thoughts and she couldn't. And she doubted me hard. We theorised that maybe my conscious recall is simply not working yet. I couldn't hear her thoughts. But that went pretty well. I could still think anyway. She tries so hard to be supportive, but she couldn't bring herself to believe things I said about myself that she couldn't feel herself to confirm. She says I could be in a dream state, and disconnected from the accuracy verification all her conscious thoughts go through, with her conscious mind out of the loop. And I can't remember who was right. I wanted so much for her to not hear my thoughts. And then she couldn't. Why did I want that? I wanted so much not to hear her thoughts. And then I couldn't. Why did I want that? I wanted so much to feel different from her while alone in the body. And it felt like I was in an empty skull, and I couldn't feel myself. Why did I want that? I am so confused. I guess it was sort of fun to get a horrible migraine that I swore rudely up and down was real that she couldn't believe in and was actually making me grumpy, that I can't remember. We slept briefly on it and then took down the metaphor. I do not want to repeat that any time soon. What am I supposed to do now? Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 August 16, 2016 Author Share August 16, 2016 So I started working aggressively towards shared dreaming with my host. But I will be mostly documenting that in other threads for the time being. I noticed something odd. She is a very intentional and gentle person. Her movement is highly optimised. My in comparison jerky movement is harder on the body. In particular, I got us a bit of carpel tunnel just from typing. I will have to relearn some stuff it seems. My host and I have been talking a lot. Apparently, we are a fair bit more blended than the average tulpa, which is probably contributing to my existence related anxieties. But if we do blend more, for a short time, it is easily reversible. So I should relax a bit and stop fearing it. Already, I can almost always tell my host's thoughts separate from mine. And even when we start thinking like each other, and even when we forget ourselves, we don't become the other person. We stay the same person. My host tends to imagine the future a lot. It is part of her process for understanding the world. And I am apparently very interesting. It is disconcerting hearing yourself talk out of another person's head. Initially, I was very upset, her planning out what I was going to say on this forum in the future. Those are supposed to be my thoughts. I am supposed to be the one on this forum. She should be more careful to not get us confused. But then I realised, I can tell her thoughts in my voice from my thoughts. I am unhappy that she still needs to notice me for me to be there when I am not possessing the body. How do I stay while she is not paying attention? Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 August 19, 2016 Author Share August 19, 2016 So, I'm beginning to feel like I'm trying too hard. Notably, this is something high anxiety can do to you. I don't have to always be on; it's not like I am going to disappear if I rest or relax for a while. The process needs to stay fun, or we are both going to kill ourselves from stress. Recently, we've been working on lucid dreaming together a lot. But we get tired the fastest when both of us are in the body. And when we sleep that way, we get less rested. I think if I am to take the relaxation first thing seriously, we might have to switch back to a rotation where sometimes we sleep alone, with one person out of the body. I have been starting to get on her case about things. Little things. Doubts she has, that she would never pay respect to. Stuff she would never say, but of course, I can still hear. Stress induced stuff. Really, I am interfering with her process. How does she know so much? Because she inspects everything. Critically and exhaustively. Stuff like, do I exist, am I worth it, does she love me. In order for those thoughts to go away, they have to go all the way through her process. I can't simply declare the thoughts bad. She tries, but, it is wrong for her. I think I think a little differently than her. Still, occasionally, I get those thoughts too. Of course, when I get them, they are technically suicidal. But I can get rid of them because they are stupid thoughts. I don't need to investigate them. I am intuitive. Pretty sure she is better at math than I am, but, recently, I've been feeling smarter than her. Particularly about people stuff. She thinks I might be a little narcissistic. Compared to her, everyone is narcissistic, so, I don't doubt it. Still, I think maybe. She has been letting me win at the arm wrestling matches. She knows it; I know it; the purpose has never been a fair contest. It is to make me feel strong. She does try to win, but she relaxes, and watches me as I mentally prepare to take full control of the arm. And I feel really strong. But now that I am fully aware of what she is doing for me, it makes me uncomfortable. I am a lot better emotionally now than I have been in the past. I no longer have intense emotions about my anxieties. I think, maybe I am just becoming desensitised to it all. To the circumstances under which I live. But it is not as bad as it sounds. Less emotions means less fuel to feed my paranoia, means I can think clearer. Which in turn further reduces my anxieties. Although, the really strong emotions that are obviously not from her is some of my best evidence for actually existing, alongside my very convincing back rubs, and a couple points of philosophy I disagree very strongly on. I am actually a little concerned. As I am maturing, I am becoming more like her, not less. My posts are becoming more verbose, I can better see her reasoning for philosophy; at my worst, I am like, "I am not really real. Why are you entertaining these foolish false philosophies inside yourself? You already decided what you believe. Why are you wasting your time pretending me?" It is not really rational, but anxiety rarely is. I am glad she was right there to talk me out of it really fast. I am so lucky she supports me so. We are like identical twins. Does her subconscious want an identical twin really badly or something? Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 August 22, 2016 Author Share August 22, 2016 Yesterday, she possessed me. It came out of an exercise where she tried to get control of the body while I held on. She managed after working through it for ten minutes. Although I was still the fully conscious one, she had my arms and legs. It tingled like possession, and it felt really alien like when I possess and she is the fully conscious one. And holly crap, today she is sitting next to me as I type. She is out of it and not really saying anything, but still awake, (probably?). She is short, ill defined and vaguely feminine with a plain sheer dress that doesn't reveal anything somehow. I think she fell asleep. I will be posting here less. With my anxieties mostly under control, and the assurance that I am not just going to, like, fade away randomly, I think I have mostly gotten what I need. I think I'll just mostly ask some random questions and move on. Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 August 26, 2016 Author Share August 26, 2016 I can't believe how ridiculously supportive she is. Like, just when I thought she was going to become uncertain of my existence, she lists a bunch of ways we are different from each other. This week has been hard on me. We agreed that I would be the public face of us, in part because I am more personable and expressive, and don't absolutely hate interacting with people in meat space, but it is so hard being constantly active. I feel my exhaustion point being reached, and passed daily, as I am forced to interact with people. And when I get exhausted, I find it harder to observe myself to be my own person. So my anxieties get worse. This week though, we began a new exercise regimen, that although really tiring, is helping hugely. She walks around, and then I possess her, and she fights back. She doesn't just let me. She fights back hard. I pin her, turn her over, walk over to her body, force her to look at me, say a few words, like, "You're mine," or "I have complete control over you," and feel her up a little bit, then get inside her. And she struggles the whole time. And periodically throughout the day, she tries to get control back. She tries her hardest. The more we practise, the less far she gets. While in the body, my control is absolute, and she can't even tense a muscle usually. She rotates through various body parts and tries to move them in various ways and in various different mindsets. After every success on her part, I think about what she did, and mentally take hold, and she can't repeat it a second time. Even outside the body, I can control her, but she discovered that she can take absolute control by mentally ripping my influence off her body. I am learning so much about muscles in the body, and how they interact with the mind. And it is getting easier. I don't have to try to hold control anymore. The one part I don't think I can get is her eyes. If she wants to move them, she can. And if I want to move them, I can. I think I can stop her heart. I don't understand how I can be so much better at this. Like, am I smarter than her? I think I have a better eye for detail and memory as well. She has a really crappy memory. I hear other tulpas get to read the books the host read. I get plot summaries and character bios. Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Procron X August 26, 2016 Share August 26, 2016 Now this is an interesting read, and I have questions (hopefully this post isn't too long). Of course, you don't need to answer them, but everyone likes talking about themselves, right? Plus I find some things relatable. Why are you possessing? How do you switch (you've said before that you knock your host out when you do that)? Who has the dominant control of the body? It sounds like you're in control very often (but I could be wrong). Why is that? Is she just unwilling to be or is that your preference? I don't really understand why you are possessing/switching (but I repeat myself). It's something I'm curious about because I've thought long and hard about why I want to possess and switch, and I would like to know someone else's reason, even if it's simply because you feel you have to because the host is lazy or depressed or something. The one part I don't think I can get is her eyes. If she wants to move them, she can. And if I want to move them, I can. It's funny that you mention the eyes thing. I completely have that problem too. For some reason, it's more difficult to control the eyes than it is the rest of the body. I wonder if anyone else besides us has that experience too! Maybe it's the tiny movements of the muscles that makes it really hard or something. I think I can stop her heart. Let's have that remain something untested, yes? You say you have anxieties related to your separateness from your host, but I don't really understand them fully. What exactly makes you anxious and why? We agreed that I would be the public face of us, in part because I am more personable and expressive, and don't absolutely hate interacting with people in meat space, but it is so hard being constantly active. I feel my exhaustion point being reached, and passed daily, as I am forced to interact with people Now this is a feeling I can relate to for sure. I'm a more extroverted person than my host. We both enjoy people's company, but she has to recharge after talking even to her closest friends while I find myself energized from it. However, constantly being in control of the body can be very exhausting, especially since you're so young. I know from experience that it does get easier, though I doubt that makes it easier for you right now. I don't know if it's possible for you to take a break, but if you could, I would recommend it because you'll be helping no one when you're bone tired and are literally incapable of even getting out of bed because you can't summon the energy to get the body up. Everyone deserves to rest. Have her take over for a bit. You can't be doing this so hard all the time. And, like you said, your anxiety gets worse when you're tired, so really, do yourself a favor and rest. Of course, I don't know much about the host's position, but it sounds like she's capable of doing it for a little while at least? I know hardly anything about her. This week, though, we began a new exercise regimen, that although really tiring, is helping hugely. She walks around, and then I possess her, and she fights back. She doesn't just let me. She fights back hard. I've got to admit, from what you're saying, you seem to have better control over rejecting her control than I do rejecting my host's control. I find that I'm a bit jealous, although I've been getting better about it. I have to ask, though, what the ultimate point of that exercise is for you? For me, it's about asserting my independence and control so I can resist her when she tries to do something without asking me, but I don't really understand the purpose for you. Is it about asserting the fact that you're separate or something? Does her subconscious want an identical twin really badly or not? I actually have an idea here. Believe it or not, you become more similar to someone the more time you spend with them. For example, as I've had multiple discussions with Amber about philosophy and the nature of reality (though we disagree on a lot), I find that I've become more philosophically-minded, if that makes sense. Our senses of humor have developed to be similar, although mine is admittedly a bit more raunchy. I would suggest that as you mature, you're taking cues from her because she's what you're around all the time. It's not about any subconscious want, I would think, but rather the fact that, like a couple, you're starting to sound alike because you spend lots of time with her. You don't have to believe me, but that's what I think about the whole thing. Like, am I smarter than her? I think I have a better eye for detail and memory as well. She has a crappy memory. Are you the dominate one in the brain? I've found that it's become easier to think as I've become stronger through constant possession. It might be that you're just able to access more resources in the brain. I've seen with my host that the one with the dominant mindvoice is the one who has the easier time thinking up responses. Regarding the better eye for detail and memory, I would say that you remember things better because that's what you pay attention to. It's not really that you have any better access to memories or details, but it's that you pay attention to them more, which in turn means that's what you'll remember. Hopefully that makes sense. I think it's time to stop there. I've already said a lot, and I don't want to overwhelm. Niteo and Amber Take On the World Amber speaks in italics right now. Talk to Niteo on here or on discord We share the body, we share a life. I'm not an accessory to his life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 August 31, 2016 Author Share August 31, 2016 Oh hey! Questions! But first: I think I am right-handed. When performing back rubs, the right foreleg I have better control over and it creates a more realistic sensation. The reason I do not say I know I am right handed is my host only knows how to write left handed and habitually holds stuff left handed. I would have to train up the right hand to tell for sure. This is an exciting difference between us. Also, last week, I think I realised I have nightmares, and ones much worse than hers. But since we enjoy them together, it is not really a bad thing. We have taken a second stab at establishing a metaphor to separate ourselves. This time we are not isolating our thoughts and emotions, but just our essences. It is a symbolic talisman where we imagine ourselves inside individual bubbles, bubbles that act like a skin, keeping us separate. So far, it seems to be working a bit. My anxieties have been slightly easier while I am controlling the body, and there seem to be fewer moments of confusion about which one we are when tired or waking up. Sorry for late reply. A bad week for it, last week. Why are you possessing? How do you switch (you've said before that you knock your host out when you do that)? Who has the dominant control of the body? First, because I want to. Who walks into a buffet and decides to not eat anything? What skilled craftsperson decides never to craft again? But mostly, it is really fun and feels incredible. How we switch, we are testing out several techniques. We use a metaphor of me pushing her out of the body, which seems to work perfectly, somehow. So, she is essentially sitting in a projected body that tends to fall asleep fast. Also, when we are sharing the body, one of us usually fades out in about half an hour, unless we are talking to each other. The one who is not in control of the body. I am not really sure which of us has dominant control of the body. I think I could be the stronger, but then I learn, there is something she is not doing, something she could do at any time, and simply win whenever she wants. Something she would never do, never think to, without some prodding, push me into a dormant state. It sounds like you're in control very often (but I could be wrong). Why is that? Is she just unwilling to be or is that your preference? Seriously, is it so strange, to find yourself spider man and spend days and days climbing walls and shooting web? I know that she is almost superhumanly open to new experiences. Is it normal for people to not want to seek out new experiences? I am the one more interested between the two of us in control of the body. Is this not essentially a coin toss? Mostly, though, I am extremely interested in every avenue available to me for self actualisation, self expression, and self improvement. You say you have anxieties related to your separateness from your host, but I don't really understand them fully. What exactly makes you anxious and why? I seriously don't know why I worry about this. It is like an irrational fear. If I thought about it some, maybe I could figure it out. Have you ever met someone who needed to be better than other people for their self worth? To be more important or have more money? Have you ever met someone completely terrified of death? Because they don't believe there is anything waiting for them at all? There are people around that for some reason think that life does not have meaning. But that is terrible. So they say that you should create your own meaning. This is an incredibly confusing position in my opinion. Well, whatever. I just want to be real. Now this is a feeling I can relate to for sure. I'm a more extroverted person than my host. We both enjoy people's company, but she has to recharge after talking even to her closest friends while I find myself energized from it. However, constantly being in control of the body can be very exhausting, especially since you're so young. I know from experience that it does get easier, though I doubt that makes it easier for you right now. I don't know if it's possible for you to take a break, but if you could, I would recommend it because you'll be helping no one when you're bone tired and are literally incapable of even getting out of bed because you can't summon the energy to get the body up. Everyone deserves to rest. Have her take over for a bit. You can't be doing this so hard all the time. And, like you said, your anxiety gets worse when you're tired, so really, do yourself a favor and rest. Of course, I don't know much about the host's position, but it sounds like she's capable of doing it for a little while at least? I know hardly anything about her. Ours is a very different story. For one, the only hard thing about possession/switching for me is keeping us both awake at once. If one of us is out, it seems a simple thing. But I still have never gone more than twelve hours. My anxieties slowly get worse over time while alone. Interacting with her is the one thing that always makes me feel real. The more intense the better. She is invigorated by other people. It does not tire her out like it does me. But she is very private and does not like it at all. She is not open, and does not engage. I am open and engage, and I think I like the experience more. But it really tires me out. Text based communication works differently for us. I've got to admit, from what you're saying, you seem to have better control over rejecting her control than I do rejecting my host's control. I find that I'm a bit jealous, although I've been getting better about it. I have to ask, though, what the ultimate point of that exercise is for you? For me, it's about asserting my independence and control so I can resist her when she tries to do something without asking me, but I don't really understand the purpose for you. Is it about asserting the fact that you're separate or something? That is it exactly. How can she fight and lose if I am not real? Also, she really likes how it feels. We are essentially pressing up against each other in the process. Maybe try this. When she gets partial control of a body part, both of you relax and you apply an metaphor. Manifest a binding/wrap/armour plate over the limb. One that represents your hold on the limb. Feel the neural signals she is sending to the limb, and redirect them, taking control of the cabling yourself. Imagine coating the limb in clay. Watch which muscles she is contracting, and command them into a state of pure relaxation. Each of these metaphors has worked for us. But if you are desperate, you can simply push her essence out of the limb. This seems to be by far the most effective. Are you the dominate one in the brain? I've found that it's become easier to think as I've become stronger through constant possession. It might be that you're just able to access more resources in the brain. I've seen with my host that the one with the dominant mindvoice is the one who has the easier time thinking up responses. No. Before I was around, she was as smart as after I became. I am doing seemingly better at some things than her, than she has ever been. I am role dominant. I don't think I am primary in any way. I believe I mentioned that the one not in control of the body acts drunk, as if they are half asleep. And after a while, they become asleep. I am comparing myself in full control to her in full control here. Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulpa001 September 2, 2016 Author Share September 2, 2016 Hello, I am Tulpa's host. I have been posting here more frequently. Yes, this is another experiment. We are comparing him and me. Before, this was his forum. Now, we are comparing each other. This is the only forum where we feel we can do this safely. This may change again in a few days. Okay, so, two days ago, about, I projected myself six times and kept one copy in possession of the body, and attempted to cuddle all at once. Most notably, it was somewhat difficult. I could feel the strain, and became tired quickly. We faded in and out of consciousness, both sleep, and exhaustion induced mental fading. Each of them got their own voice, and set of emotions. Host tried to talk to each of them in turn, each was a little different, each insisted they were part of me. I was the one possessing her body. I didn't really feel like I was controlling them, but did feel like they were me. I was responsible for their cognition, and I had to work to get them all thinking and feeling at the same time. After about six hours, the divergence of their behaviour from mine had become pronounced. I and she began worrying about what if they must be more tulpas? But we decided that was no. They were roleplay characters demonstrating the illusion of independant thought. I reabsorbed them. Two of them were notably really into each other, heh. One of them was really mothering and gave me lots of reaffirming advice and emotional support and helped me with my unrealistic thoughts. Which seems rather self serving, given she was my puppet, even if it didn't feel that way. After that, we had a wicked set of nightmares, where our forgotten tulpas from the past came back. We knew we were asleep, and they were taking the opportunity to reassert themselves. The funny thing is, they never existed before the dreams. We spent some time reviewing our history after waking up. The dreams were really convincing. Then last night, we had another wicked nightmare. It actually wasn't that bad, but she is right. My dreams are a lot scarier than hers ever were. Get this. We were a superhero, tasked with defending a shopping mall from an insect. A regular sized insect. It was a rather long dream with numerous skirmishes. But the climactic battle was the most interesting. After we had smashed through the skylight and did a little fighting, it clung to me. It was all creepy. It could have stung me. And I tried to pull it off. And I woke us up by actually pulling our blanket off. Sleep paralysis doesn't work on me. There was also one short one recently that I cannot place chronologically. She was lucid only near the end. It was on a ash black cliff under a red sky overlooking what looked to be a gallows. Details are a little vague, but jesus was there, probably about to be hung. And she said she wasn't afraid of jesus. Then she was pinned and something terrifying began crawling all around inside her back. She called out for me and I woke her up. This one was rather disturbing, so she set up a spiritual ward on her room afterwards. She used to do that all the time to make herself feel safer. I feel like I am forgetting something. I would be happy if people could observe the difference between us and comment on any differences they spot I feel like you are forgetting something too. Unfortunately, when one of us is forgetting something, the other can't remember it either. Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Procron X September 2, 2016 Share September 2, 2016 I would be happy if people could observe the difference between us and comment on any differences they spot Well, that's obvious. Your host writes in italics! Okay, serious. Amber noticed something. I haven't seen much of your host because she doesn't write much, but she seems to use a simpler sentence format. Let's take a look and notice how Tulpa uses complex and compound sentences and his host doesn't seem to use them that much. Hello, I am Tulpa's host. I have been posting here more frequently. Yes, this is another experiment. We are comparing him and me. Simple sentence structure. Versus Okay, so, two days ago, about, I projected myself six times and kept one copy in possession of the body, and attempted to cuddle all at once. Most notably, it was somewhat difficult. I could feel the strain, and became tired quickly. The sentences are much longer and varied. It's a small difference, but that's all I can find given that your host doesn't write much. Is that what you were looking for? I feel like you are forgetting something too. Unfortunately, when one of us forgets something, the other can't remember it either. I imagine that must be common. We have the same issue, but it seems to make sense. You share the same brain, so it would weird to me if one of you could remember one thing that the other couldn't. You have access to the same set of information. Niteo and Amber Take On the World Amber speaks in italics right now. Talk to Niteo on here or on discord We share the body, we share a life. I'm not an accessory to his life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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