My new tulpa and my mind.

[nihi0145632]

Oh hello, Alexandra It is very nice to meet and talk to you!

 

Aww, that is very sweet :) Thank you! <3

 

So, What is the most favorite thing/activity you do with your host?

 

I say you are doing great!

[juasjuasie]

Hello Alexandra! Nice to meet you!

 

Uh, love you back. :)

 

What do you think of your adventures, so far?

 

-Hello tulpa! 

 

-uuuuuuhhhhhhh... <3  (she did that heart sign with her ''hands'' she was smiling as always)

 

-i love adventures! but we aren't doing so many recently. (because my host sucks!) (because i am tired Alexandra, don't be so mean) (i was joking!)  (i know :) )

 

so yeah... i forgot to mention we fight sometimes, but it's friendly, so there are no hard feelings.

---

Oh hello, Alexandra It is very nice to meet and talk to you!

 

Aww, that is very sweet :) Thank you!

 

So, What is the most favorite thing/activity you do with your host?

 

I say you are doing great!

 

well, it is hard to chose. i am sure that i love hugging my host (and punch him in the face from time from time)   (sometimes i don't deserve it, sometimes i do. either way we laugh when it happens) (you get also mad sometimes)  (well maybe because sometimes it comes from nowhere, but i was never mad, just grumpy) (ooooohhh! now that sounds more cute!) (...)

 

well... i also love doing puzzles (like simple math) (and adventuring in wonderland (when we have the opportunity)) (looks at me with a grumpy face, help!  :@ )

 

Thank you nihi! i love you alll! 

 

so she sure likes to make friends xD. But she is sure a troublemaker. However, if she wants to be like that when answering the forums, well i will not force her so welcome to the internet Alexandra ;) ,

[juasjuasie]

last night i don't remember much on what i did when forcing (she says that we just talked, and we explored a beach). I have sleep problems recently and that slowed my studies + cleaning the house, sooooo i didn't have enough time to active force, however, i will do it after diner :P (and it will be awesome!)  i don't have too much to say, but you can ask Alexandra any question if you want (yay!) any words Alexandra?

 

(nothiing really, just wanted to say that you guys are awesome!) (enthusiastic as always it seems) (isn't that good?) (yes, but you have to learn to be more calm, but i find cute your enthusiasm) (awww thank you!)

 

btw this is how (recently) the usual conversation goes with her.

[juasjuasie]

well last night, we were wandering into jungle (as always, don't ask why) and we talked. From there to today, i asked Alexandra some things i should get better. besides the usual of trying to pay attention to her when playing videogames, she got two points that make me think:  stop thinking to much about hypothetical situations (especially if it's about Alexandra) and to control my impulsive thoughts (as, to be honest are pretty offensive and crude). the problem about the first one is that i kinda love to plan my day, but i understand that she doesn't want to be puppeted by those thoughts (for obvious reasons) and about the impulsive thoughts, look guys, i think that my favourite kind of humor (black humor) and the fact that i am uncontrollable when i am tired, makes the impulsive thoughts very... unhealthy... i told her that those thoughts aren't what i am or what i stand but instinctual nonsense from my subconscious, and she seems to understand, but i and she knows that we need a change. 

 

Do you guys can help me? is there a way to control those thoughts? they just seem to appear to make me feel disgusted with myself.

[jeb0211]

Ah, I have the same issue! Impulsive, intrusive thoughts.

This might help you but it's pretty basic, so you might already know this.

What I do is acknowledging the thoughts. When I notice them I just observe. I know if I don't feed them with my attention, they'll go away. (And 'trying to stop' action counts as giving attention) I just let them flow. I Just try not to add anything to that thought.

It's not easy, I know. Especially when you're tired. But when you habitize yourself, it's the most powerful way of getting rid of intrusive thoughts.

Ooh, this is interesting! I'm really curious about other solutions! Anyone with better ideas?

 

Edit: And stop feeling bad about yourself, it won't help anything. You're trying to fix this, which means this will be fixed. Don't worry too much.

[juasjuasie]

Ah, I have the same issue! Impulsive, intrusive thoughts.

This might help you but it's pretty basic, so you might already know this.

What I do is acknowledging the thoughts. When I notice them I just observe. I know if I don't feed them with my attention, they'll go away. (And 'trying to stop' action counts as giving attention) I just let them flow. I Just try not to add anything to that thought.

It's not easy, I know. Especially when you're tired. But when you habitize yourself, it's the most powerful way of getting rid of intrusive thoughts.

Ooh, this is interesting! I'm really curious about other solutions! Anyone with better ideas?

 

Edit: And stop feeling bad about yourself, it won't help anything. You're trying to fix this, which means this will be fixed. Don't worry too much.

 

Thanks! (thanks!)

[tulpa001]

Jeb, you have listed the basic solution to intrusive thoughts. Other than distracting yourself or deciding to sleep instead of force, there are no other solutions I can think of other than medication.

 

You will also want to starve the thoughts of attention grabbing emotion. Fear and entertainment are both of this sort. Revulsion doesn't seem to be attention grabbing in my experience.

[juasjuasie]

yay! this is my second weekend with Alexandra (yay!) however, it is the 3rd day since i have sleep problems (but i can deal that). so first off before i forget, Alexandra has a question that she wanted to ask for some time:

 

For the tulpas like me: how much did you learned in 2 weeks? i guess she wants to say how you, the tulpas, learned in your 2 first weeks of life.

 

Also i wanted to mention is that she started asking questions, the problem is that some were either nonsensical, or she either doesn't know what to ask.

 

also i started noticing that when Alexandra talks, my mouth unconsciously starts ''speaking'' without any sound. like whispering. Is that normal?

 

i am pretty damn sure that i am forgetting something (i am struggling on writing this right now) but i just can say the forcing session were pretty normal (we love to cuddle!) (Ahem... when i have nothing to do in wonderland but speak or narrating) and i was just relaxing around in my hub in wonderland, so there is that.

[jeb0211]

According to my log, 2 weeks it the point where she asked me about spirits and souls.

She asked me "What if we die and becomes souls? Are we gonna be one ghost or two ghosts?" and honestly we still don't have a neat answer.

I don't know, can we 'make' spirits? Really, what are we? Souls in the body or just complicated machines?

[juasjuasie]

According to my log, 2 weeks it the point where she asked me about spirits and souls.

She asked me "What if we die and becomes souls? Are we gonna be one ghost or two ghosts?" and honestly we still don't have a neat answer.

I don't know, can we 'make' spirits? Really, what are we? Souls in the body or just complicated machines?

 

if you ask me, we are one but two. two makes us one, but one can think differently  from each other, however, the two can't be separated because we are one. One, but two.