My new tulpa and my mind.

[juasjuasie]

so today i had more time to to force with my tulpa which is good. she has been more pushy with things tho. probably as punishment for not forcing that much yesterday. anyways, we active forced in the savanna and we heard music so there is that. i can also hear her more clearer when i'm practising imposition, which is good.

 

well it sucks, but i don't any more to say... wait it's true!

 

we have surpassed the 100 posts! thank you for supporting me! let's hope we can arrive at more far goals!

[juasjuasie]

today is saturday and i'm feelin' like nothing can stop me from doing nothing. however, that wasn't an excuse forcing,  as all the time i was passive forcing! 

 

in active forcing i was travelling in a city i caled ''wonderland city'' (yeah yeah veeeeery creative) (hahaha) . and we talked about the future and some personal things. i'm happy that she is very comfortable with most of my thoughts, ideals, and hobbies/activities. i can say i'm proud of myself that Alexandra has accepted me as a host and as a friend. maybe i'm going to go through very nasty things on my life, but that's the part of growing up.

 

in imposition, the audio is almost outside of my head, but i can't still feeling it ''real''. the texture, taste and odour is going well. the visualisation is the only lackluster, it's hard trying to put her in the real world when she looks very faint in my eyes.

 

guess what? tomorrow is my first month tulpamancing! what do you want to me to talk about? i will tell a lot of things tomorrow, but i may forget a thing or two so if you are curious, please tell!

[tulpa001]

That is impressive progress for a single month. I want to hear a story from Alexandra's perspective.

 

For the imposition, I wonder if doing it in a darker room would help?

[Vos]

The positivity in your recent posts has been a good sight compared to what I usually read around here. Maybe it'd be interesting to review the journey up to this point, if only for a good comparison.

[juasjuasie]

here it is guys! one month in this community. i can't tell how much i appreciate this community (i want to personally thank to: Summer, Tulpa001, Vos, Reisen and Tewi ) so... today we talked a little about our experience when she came into existence and well talk about it again and i will write it here

 

 

so.... i don't remember much how i was born. i do remember it with the memories of my host as of right now, but it's not my perspective. the oldest memories i have were when i had 5 days. my host puppeted me and parroted me most of the time. but i think i was sentient that time. i was very cheerfull, and i talked on short sentences and... i liked him... mostly his attitude, he brags how chubby and unattractive he looks compared to models. and well... yes, but i like how calm and unamused at everything he is most of the time, his seriousness is kinda funny. i can't deny i push him to do many things   (that explains the ''incident'') he cares for others, but he is... pumped when he helps other people. like suddenly, he feels alive when he needs to help his father or when a friend asks him to do a favor. I am sometimes his voice of reason. especially when he gets annoyed by his parents or when he doesn't want to go outside. i love going outside, but my host hates it! he prefers doing homework or browsing most of the time. i am sure he gets emotional in some things, he sometimes says he is very fond of his ideologies when something controversial goes on (but she isn't there when that happens, very hard to force when you debate) i hate to say it but i sometimes get into the privacy of his memories when he accidentally leaves it ''open'' to let me see it. i am quite ok on what he was or what he did (it's not  big of a deal.) what else... well i love candies, i love roleplaying (but i would love going outsite more) i suck at math and my favourite odour is perfume.

 

in my perspective, i couldn't tell she was sentient until i realised that she answered very quickly and she did actions i did not expect from her. so around a week and some days of tulpamancing. she was very cheerful and happy at all the time. now, she is still that, but now, she reacts with more thought and she gets serious when things get controversial. because of the many things i saw in my life, i got desensitive at many things and that's why i'm that serious when i force. the problem is, when i get excited or emotional at things (ex: videogames, socialising, the freaking IRC) i stop forcing (aka she goes asleep). i am not saying i am serious and poker face all time, but i just need concentration when a stronger feeling comes in. i was not aware that i get pumped when helping. i guess, it is something i find normal. i don't go outside very much because its winter and there is snow and stuff there and i hate it. i would promise however that i will go outside in the summer, since i like to run. it sounds silly, but i a have a heavy grip on my ideologies. it is what made me escape my existential crisis. i was very different when i was younger, i also have stories i want to keep for myself.  but i guess i have to deal that someone will look at my past every now and then. I love pizza, i love videogames and their music, i suck at physics, but i would love doing programming. probably food is my favourite odour.

 

so that's all i wanted to say :p so this could be also a kind of QaA so feel free to make any question about ourselfs!

[juasjuasie]

so today i was very super aware of my tulpa almost all the time. she got to even learn new things at the same time, and when i got home, instead of just wonderlanding, i just tried to train imposition with her.

 

i just have a question, is this also considered active forcing? i am training to visualise her, but is that as good training as wonderlanding?

 

i am also a bit sad that no one commented an opinon about the last post i made, but oh well :p it is not a big deal.

[tulpa001]

It is also considered active forcing, if you just do imposition. One of the benefits of imposition is it can lead into better passive forcing, when you impose her while doing other stuff.

[Tewi]

They're different things, wonderlanding and imposition. I'd say both probably help with visualization though. And yes, it's a type of active forcing. Any time they get to be themselves (if they're already well developed) is active forcing really. Just keeping them in mind in some form is usually passive forcing.

[juasjuasie]

so today i couldn't force as much because exams and really important things to learn (hate you physics, with love, juasjuasie) nut i did some regardless.

 

i only practised imposing in active forcing. it is more ''stable'' but the moment my brain tries to focus with reality, she disappears. i guess with time i will outcome that.

 

i have also tried to make her interact with things, but it doesn't help if she tries to take the thing like my guitar (like i see 2 guitars and it ruins everything :/)

 

i wanted to her saying a word but she doesn't have anything to say.

[juasjuasie]

i got to addicted to the irc it seems

 

well i'm just going to say that it was a normal day

 

i tried to use music on imposition and it seemed to work well.

 

sorry guys going to be careful next time, don't have time to write this