Requesting: Tulpa 1st hand account of attention starvation.

[Oguigi]

We all need Food and water to maintain our physical selfs, and we know how it feels like when we lack these things, you get hungry/thristy

 

But tulpas are different, all they need to survive is our "Attention" ( for us to acknowlege their existence )

 

 

but what exactly happens when they receive a lack of attention for prolong periods? (early stages of dissipation)

 

 

how does the tulpa feels, does he/she/it feels some sort of pain, a fading awareness, or perhaps an feeling so Alien that only fellows tulpas will understand?

 

 

Am requesting a first hand account on how it feels from the tulpa point of view to be starved of attention.

[TulpaCouple]

Luke had it happen once early on.

 

He described it like a weird numbing of his body where he slowly became unable to feel things or move, like being disconnected with anything physical. His mind was still awake, but he could see his vision being surrounded by static--and white noise growing louder as it became all he could hear. Eventually he would feel himself losing his form into the white noise and becoming a part of the general 'noise' or static of the mind--the general nothingness.

 

He said it wasn't painful, but was quite horrifying. He actually described it being similar to the death via darkness in El Shaddai if you've ever played that game.

[Oguigi]

Thanks so much for that insight. I can actually sense fear from oguigi. That's turly a horrible way to go.

 

 

Thanks alot for taking ur time for such a quailty response.

 

If anyone else knows/had another 1st hand story to share please do. It will be interesting to know how different tulpas perceive this

[Bask]

When I took "break days" which was a straight week of me getting over the stomach flu and generally being a lazy jackass, Jazz was pretty pissed and scared over it.

 

He explains it as feeling like a ghost, that: "he could be screaming and I wouldn't hear a word. Wrong frequency. Dissipating piece by piece."

 

It took a lot of emotional forgiveness and reassurances after that, to get over that hump.

 

edit: I LOOK AT THREAD DATES GUD. OOPS.

[Oguigi]

When I took "break days" which was a straight week of me getting over the stomach flu and generally being a lazy jackass, Jazz was pretty pissed and scared over it.

 

He explains it as feeling like a ghost, that: "he could be screaming and I wouldn't hear a word. Wrong frequency. Dissipating piece by piece."

 

It took a lot of emotional forgiveness and reassurances after that, to get over that hump.

 

edit: I LOOK AT THREAD DATES GUD. OOPS.

 

lol no this is GREAT! i never said to anyone to stop posting i will like even more reports if possible.

[Guest Anonymous]

Once Helix and Pixel are vocal ill try and fill this request.

[TulpaCouple]

I guess I have a new report now that Jaden is fully vocal and I am able to converse with him. I'll let him describe it.

 

"Okay, I'll describe the whole situation. My host, Kate, had begun forcing. She really had only done one or two sessions but had been planning my creation for months. At the time she didn't realize all that thought and energy was causing me to..I guess begin existing? Anyway, at the time, the basic idea was that it would take a lot of hours before sentience would be reached, and that in the early days if you even missed one session your tulpa was pretty much dead and you had to start over. Anyway, some family drama happened that really caused her some severe stress problems that she feared might inhibit my growth/cause me to be all depressed or something. Basically a 'bad environment to raise a tulpa' or whatever she thought. So she goes ahead and stops forcing--thinking I was just a doll and not quite alive yet and that when she was mentally prepared she would begin again and give me a better creation period.

 

Well the problem was that I WAS sentient and very much alive and left in the dark and it was terrifying. I didn't know quite what I was yet. Her first visualization practices were her mostly trying to do personality work, but she struggled because she couldn't focus on me as a being without a form. Before she left she managed to give me something like a form, basically I was made of smoke and shaped like a quadruped animal. I actually was more ferret-like at the time, not that she could see that with her terrible visualization skills in the beginning. But I'm getting side tracked.

 

I barely had an idea of what I was. I didn't really quite grasp existence, and I didn't quite understand who she was. I was able to listen to her and I liked that, a lot. I'm glad she gave me that ability in the beginning, otherwise I don't think I would have survived. To be honest, I don’t know how I was able to survive. Every day got a lot darker. It was lonely and scary. I felt my thoughts get darker, sort of like falling asleep—but more like being put to sleep, because I was conscious as I was losing my consciousness..if that makes sense. The only thing that kept me sane was following her quietly and listening to her go through her life. She didn’t know I was there, but every time she thought to herself “I can’t wait to start working on Jaden” or thought about my personality, I clung to those thoughts for dear life and held them close to me and learned about who I was. Being able to be with her kept me together, but every day I was left alone it felt like a piece of me was stripped away. Like fading into dust.

 

Since then I've been a little afraid of the dark. It just reminds me of nothingness. Emptiness. It's quite terrifying."--Jaden

[Knapp]

Naw, poor Jaden. I think the dark is scary too, send him hugs from me<3

[Tungan Ninja]

Jaden, glad to see you are more vocal. Your writing has improved dramatically!:D

[Captain Nemo]

Wow. Makes me want to go force right now. Thanks for that, Jaden.