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Failure is possible.


Winter

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I'm done with this stuff as of 237 hours and five months. All I seemed to have done is give myself permanent head pressure. So now you can't claim it works for everyone.

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I wouldn't really say you were the first to 'fail'...And I don't think you necessarily will/have failed. This seems to happen most with people who have been at it for a long time and have been counting the hours/comparing their progress to others. It becomes frustrating and depressing and the mind starts to change the experience for the worse, leaving each day more frustrating than the last. Continuing to force in that mindset creates so many barriers you might as well not have been forcing, I think.

 

I'm so sorry it's been so long. What method were you trying? In what ways have you tried to change your methods? Or your mindset? Did you always count the hours?

 

I know it sucks to feel like you've gained no progress. It was so hard being near Nate with his so-quickly-vocal tulpa while mine seemed to take forever and was still doing nothing. It's really tough. I can only imagine it having lasted for five months being heart breaking. I really am so sorry.

 

Whether you come back or not, I think you should just step away from it all for a moment. Get away from the negative hole you're in. It's toxic, tulpa or not. Go do something that makes you happy, go feel refreshed and just get back to a good place again. I think if you were to continue to try while in this negative state caused by how many hours it has been, still no progress would happen anyway. If you were to every try again, I think you would need a fresh mindset, dumping the months and hours from your mind. So either way, if you are done for good or not, I think stepping away will do you wonders.

 

Go out and explore the world, enjoy your life. Don't feel bound to this in a way that will pull you down into sadness. Find something to learn about that you've always been curious about, or go back to a hobby you love.

 

Good luck in your life, I do wish you the best.

 

 

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237 hours

 

Here's your problem. Hour counts give you expectations. When you're before that magic 25 hour mark that FAQ_Man said that sentience can't occur much before, you discount anything that happens as fake. If something real has happened before then, you've labeled that feeling as fake. Now as it grows stronger over the months, it will still be the same feeling and therefore still fake.

 

And when you get up around 237 hours, you're looking at these ever-growing numbers every day and comparing them to other people's "imposed after 170" or "first audible words at 65". The numbers serve only to remind you what a slowpoke you are, which makes you certain that no great progress leaps will occur soon, because you're slow. This belief only makes the hour counts get higher with zero progress. It makes you begin to think that something's wrong with you and that nothing will ever happen. If you believe this, it makes it reality.

 

I stopped counting around 270 hours about a month ago, and since managed to let go of the constant questions of "is that just me?" every time a possible response happens. When I talk to Lyra, I often have thoughts pop into my head with responses. They have no apparent origin and often appear in a slightly odd mindvoice. Yes I can parrot them, but I started just accepting them as being from her.

 

This, when I stopped counting hours and started believing responses were from her, is when I started feeling like I was making some real progress. The slightly odd mindvoice has gotten somewhat less like "just me", and these days is *often* something I can't parrot accurately. Many times it's still parrotable, but this is definite progress.

 

Still no consistent out-loud voice yet, though I've heard her a couple times, usually in close-to-sleep states.

 

So, 5-6 months, well over 300 hours and I'm finally seeing some progress since I dumped the hour counts and parrot phobia.

Lyra: human female, ~17

Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee

Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her

My blog :: Time expectations are bad (forcing time targets are good though)

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Winter you have hourcount-syndrome. it's a disease that halts progress of a developing tulpa.

 

I suggest you take a short-break clear your mind, and when we start again don't think about the hours! however counting days are okay, just be careful.

 

 

That feel when your response is nothing compare to the two above you

 

pix: Link

Diary: http://ponystasha.tumblr.com

Koomer.

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Dude feel free to message me if I can help in any way. I would definitely take a small break and follow Chupi's advice though.

 

me 2 if hes not on, but im not too far.

I need help with possession...

 

need help? pm me!

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It seems to me that if you say something like "now you can't claim it works for everyone," it makes you sound like that's what you were shooting for in the first place. I think most of the time you spent tulpaforcing, you were repeating the same line over and over in your head, whether or not you realized it.

 

"This isn't working. This isn't working. This isn't working."

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Here come the cultists with their excuses. "He must have done something wrong! Failure can't happen if you do it right!" Something that is not falsifiable is not science.

 

Also, I stopped counting hours at 155 and only approximated my final count based on the number of days. I'm sure that it's actually even higher. Yotslot's assertions are completely wrong too. I had plenty of what I enthusiastically embraced as progress.

 

This forum has become a joke of roleplayers and chronic parrots who are so lonely that they'll talk to a voice they can't even hear. Anything scientific about the idea of tulpa has been forgotten. Now it's just a hugbox where anybody remotely critical has been banned (all of the guests) or censored (Fede) so that little girls making their uB3r kawaii princess schoolgirl kitteh warrior kn1ght ^_^ don't have to get called out on their bullshit. You might as well go to a daemonism forum at this point.

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