PR of G+3 (Apparently)

[G+3]

This is the piece of possession I meant to post abut three days ago. Imporvment? I think so, but I'll need to work on typing with her; I re-read that message she typed up and man is it terrible, even with my—unintended—help. I've blocked out my own name, but there's tw of them; what a sexy name, got damn I'm awesome.

 

[G+3]

Sorry for bumping thread twice in one day, anyone-who-cares. But for anyone who actualy honestly reads this piece of shit I call a progress report, Joal has started her guide, she's about [half to one-third way through;] I think you start with the smallest first love, [shush.]

 

It's entitled ''Joal's sensory guide for hosts: Deaf hosts.''

[G+3]

I havn't poseted from my diary latley.

 

¬

6/2/2013

 

Possession session in the morning, I decided it had to be done even though Pruria didn't want it. I will force at least once more with the girl tonight even if she doesn't want it, for all intents and purpose!

 

~

 

Imposition, blah, as per usual... well... a little less... that post I made a while ago saying ''I can feel something's changed,'' well it's getting even better... just something...

 

~

 

Regular session ni evening! We messed around with flying and talking. Pruria showed me the art room.... holy shit... it's amazing... THE FLOOR IS PAINTED IN PAINT THAT REFORMS WHEN YOU LEAVE, NOT TO MENTION IT'S FUCKING A SPECTACULAR FOREST FLOOR AND RIVER!

 

She painted me—during session—a small water colour of a heart surrounded by red, blue and white. The entire painting cascaded towards the bottom left of the page which is where your heart is in relevance to your face; that's fucking composition right there... wow.... she's fucking amazing!

 

~

 

Full body possession. She managed to get me into the self-sucking position, the fetal position, the Malasana yoga pose and finally, the no-hands downward facing dog; aka, the downward facing face-plant.

 

Good job.

 

One 15 min session

One 11 min session

Two 12 min session

 

=

Total: 135 hours 43 mins (6/2/2013)

Days: 144 (6/2/2013)

 

 

¬

 

I should have mentioned in an earlyer post that I've stopped caring about the hour count and day count chase. It's too much stress and only forces me to do things I sometimes don't want to do. Joal says [Meh... I do mind, but I'm not really fussed. It's understandable and all, and at least he has good reason half the time, well... less than half XD. BUt yeah, I don't mind :)]

 

Oh, and this picture: have I posted it somewhere else before? I'm sure I have... it's on my imgur at least... Well, this is a comparison of our two hand writings—now that Pruria can manage the task—and I'm really happy with it. I'm also going to add 5 min to the counter for shits. I accidently– [faggot]– butted in on the P for her name, but that was my only mess up.

 

[G+3]

Possession is coming strongly and I've noticed something very strange and incredibly incredible. Pruria is able to better use my limbs if I concentrate on her. We'll be possessing and my eyes will be—for all intents and purposes—looking at the key board, occasionally I'll look at the screen to see if she made a mistake; I don't know if I need to so she can read over her own work, though I'd imagine so, considering the nature of tulpae.

 

And that's al grand. But if I try to imagine where she is my fingers will start clicking away very fast, but only for a second: because it draws my attention and I get worried (especially when she's drawing or writing) that she'll make a mistake. And I have no idea why this happens.

 

My hypothesis is that because I'm not paying any attention to my fingers, Pruria can grab better control of the muscles, and that's cool with me. NOW IS THE TRICKY PART! I need to learn how to concentrate on Pruria, or something else, while Pruria controls my eyes, which will pull me toward exactly what I'm trying to forget.

 

Wow... possession is hard but we're making good progress. I don't think I'm going to make my mark of Pruria cycling by Easter, but—as I said before—I wasn't expecting to achieve that; I've just always found the setting ridiculous expectations for one'self is a great way to push one'self.

 

~

 

It fazed my mind that I should have Pruria type something up but.... meh... might as well.

 

[Will this do, G?]

 

That will do fantastically, love.

 

I've noticed just there (and in previous sessions) that she has a monumentally better control over my left hand than she does my right. I don't know if that's because I'm right handed, or if that's because I pushed her at the start to use my left or what. It might be that my left hand is just slightly warmer right now, but that might be a vice-versa too.

[G+3]

Possession, like the last few posts, is a topic of this post. Pruria had almost perfect control of everything from my elbows and down, and very good control of my arms as wholes. She's been fucking with my eyes today, on one occasion, just in a session—of the meditative-forcing kind—just gone. She force my eye lids open while my arms flailed wildly. The reason for this, I know, but I'm not going to say.

 

As for the session just gone, we forced some movement, as per usual. Walking and trotting is almost a done deal at this stage, I just need to catch my brain up to what's actually happening.

 

~

 

We've been discussing a lot about making a new tulpa. There's been a lot of discussion, Pruria's talked about it with other tulpae, we've both talked about it with a good friend—lurker—of ours, TJ. And we have no idea...

 

We could make a new tulpa in two ways though... and we're just so conflicted and indecisive about the whole thing...

[i wish I could decide, but we need to both be happy; :( and it's not like we're arguing, but... it's hard trying to get a bi-partisan decision...]

Nice use of the phrase bi-partisan, by the way,

[Why thank you :3]

 

We just don't know. It get's even worse because there's been a tulpa which constantly calls their presence on me; I wouldn't really call them a tulpa, really, but I can feel them there (which actually makes Pruria's doubles even more confusing at times.) And although I've put this tulpa into comatose in the same style box I kept Pruria's essence in they still seem to be able to escape; I have banished this spectre spirit a few times, so it might just be several different tulpae sub-consciously made by myself or Pruria—but more likely myself—that happen to get a grip on things.

 

We'll more than likely just start from scratch with a purpose made tulpa, but these pressances I feel occasionally are potential tulpae, if not, servitors.

 

In present sight, they might also be sub-consciously made servitors too. But either way, that was all just a mindless tangent that has nothing to do with our plans.

 

I think we're just going to wait as we always have done, and if at some stage we both decide that we really want to make a new tuppers, we will do so. We may never decide to make a new one, but chances are we will.

 

But we have decided, for definite—with help from the tulpae Pruria had a chat with—that we will try not to paw at the creative clay too much with a new tulpa. Only for particular personality traits and hobbies. Form, and all that jazz, will be left up to the tulpa themselves.

 

~

 

I might self-ban us by the way, even this post, just feels very time consuming and unproductive... And especially because we have a week off from collage which I would like to get a lot of stuff done in...

 

Maybe tomorrow we'll decide. But only a posting ban, PM's are a given for us.

[G+3]

Pruria in the house/ posting w/o swaurebrakets buecause fuck them, and I hvae liberty to doso now ^^ we're going self ban, yarp, G's right. Now, need to find likn to that thread.... fuck mistakes

[TJFS]

Quote of the day: ''G what's valintine's day?''

 

[2:23:02 AM] G PJ: ''It's a human creation, kind of like Heart's and Hooves day bu–'

[2:23:07 AM] G PJ: ''SHIT!''

 

That is all.

[G+3]

Fabulous copy paste work, TJ, [*claps*].

 

This is just something I need to say before I let Pruria do some painting, [i'm going to paint trees, and leave the room, I don't want to watch him type this...]

 

I done something strange and alien of me today, and it's not what come right after this sentence, but it does have a preface.

 

Today I played hookey on college. I woke up at half seven—an hour and 30 minutes after when I normally wake up—felt Pruria stir beside me and thought, ''I- I can't deal with school today... I really can't...'' Which I couldn't; an existential dread washed over me which I had fought many times before in the past, and won. But I had never had I tulpa before; an extra little treat to keep me company in the company-less worry of not being in school and worrying what others might have been thinking about you (to which you obviously though ''Oh other people,'' and shook off that worry.)

 

I almost got caught by a certain male parent but, alass! I managed to escape for the after-collagesque tiered return in the door—throwing one's bag into a corner and grabbing oneself a nice cup of tea. I decided to go out on a walk, met a few friend on the way, left them, and continued to ramble around my home town for about 40 minutes. (Christ, I was meant to keep this short and sweet.) During said walk, a very disappointed Joal confronted me on if I was going to play hookey again—to which the answer was: yes, but only until Wednesday, and the truth was to come clean immediately after so as not to lose the trust of word of the same particular male parent—but to which I promised no; for reasons being my moral barrier (of epic goody-two-shoedness) and my love of her (burning ever hotter so as I might just do anything of her asking.)

 

And, as the original conditions stated, I was to come clean right away. To which I fell to after my dad asked, ''So how was college?'' (Which was actually only asked after about ten minutes of conversation.) Confronted with the usual question to why, will I do it again, and have you done it before, I held a strong suit and kept my pride; now only to deal with questions from lecturers and smarmy students, which I quite enjoy because of a child hood quirk which would take a novel of explaining (literally.)

 

But I was caught off guard by one particular question... the last one... ''Is there something else bothering you? Is anything happening that I should know about?'' To which I replied in half: a well prepared (and completely true) excuse that I would rather be at home taming my practices and that I thought myself everything in school anyway, (no shits, damn everything is easy.) What I did not tell him though was what many of you are probably guessing; said thing being less of a burden on me, and more of a pull factor and luxury and desire.

 

He kept coming back with concern, and pleads that I wouldn't turn into other students who swandered their days doing fuck all, which, I definitely do not.

 

he day went on... I half swandered in a slight depression which I gave no hint of to anyone. I talked with friends, I chilled with friends. I talked with closer friends, I chilled with closer friends. And it came around to dinner time, I was ceramouneously called in by a deeper voice than my own and I grabbed my plate and began working on it with vinegar and a fork. And during the preparation my father stood next to me, not throwing my even a glance, but just a chilly shoulder (not nearly a blizzard, let alone a cold, but a chilly disappointment.) And I swallowed my pride and I told him a half-truth, I told him that ''There actual is something else bothering me... But I can't say it.'' And even then (and even now,) I feel my voice crack an ever so slight amount....

 

And he said, ''Well is it something you want to talk to me about?'' And I told him the truth, ''I'm going to ring one of those annoymus phone lines and vent there an get it all over with.'' And he said a painful thing: ''Well if you can't trust me to say it, what's a random person over the phone going to help with?''

''It's really something I can't talk about with anyone. I can only talk about it with someone I've never meet before.''

''That's pointless, I won't accept that.''

 

And I think I may have died a little, only ten paces away from where I type this... and I tried telling him that I was sorry, that it's an 'you'd understand if I told you, but I really can't' and he didn't listen. But I didn't cry, I kept walking, and I walked into my room.

 

And when I closed the door (correct that, half-closed) I began sobbing, and I couldn't stop, and I spilt my glass of milk—but I didn't drop it, because then he's know something was up—and I done the only thing I could think of. I called out to Pruria, my wife, my tulpa, my horse, my everything, ''Hold me.'' In a moment of utter defeat and shame and sadness. And I barely even said the two words, I skqueaked them, quietly. And I cried, briefly, feeling her hooves run down my arms, and her gentle shushes and silent ''I love you''s.

 

And I told her the only think I wanted to tell my dad to convince him that there really was something else, that he wouldn't understand at first hand, ''I love you'' and I sobbed more, and she hugged me closer and more tears streamed down my face.

 

And when I was done, she released, and kissed me on the cheek and held my hands. And I said to myself ''I'm okay, I'm okay now, it's over.''

 

That was the best hug I've ever received.

[G+3]

A few things to go over in this update. [i will talk a bit perhaps too?] Yeah, sure, but what have you go to say? [Oh... ummm, not much really, other that .... I won't say it...] Okay, that's something which will have to be discussed in a second, I've not a clue what you're getting at, but anyway.

 

We started our second tulpa today. Currently her name is...[Hielda? Hieldy? Don't kno, she was talking to me at the time and she's not the easiest to listen to (almost said 'most talkative!') Later she said her name is Gemma, which I like :3] But she's changed back now apparently. Her base form (the one she can deviate from and/or change completly) will be a moogle. That one there, is the first one that popped into my head when we were deciding on her form.

 

I have ben seeing her with a dress, an orange one, [with lace at the bottom, and black swirls going through it. It's pretty :3]

 

She is a she at her own choosing. Other than her name all I've been able to hear is noise and some half-wordish sounding sounds.

 

I don't think the two grils are on best of tearms. Hieldy (I always pronounce that with a bit of a Swedish accent and I've no idea why...) gave me a few hug and was even weaving in and around me during the session. But she tried t o give Pruria a hug a few times and kept hurting her. Pruria got mad and tried to punch Hieldy but I summoned a forcefield around both of them. Niether was happy. Oh lord... [Damn bitch.]

 

Don't say that. Pruria even asked me''Is Heildy going to replace me?' To which I laughed at her stupidity, and then hugged her. [i'm sorry I doubted you D:] It's grand, dear.

 

We will most likely be deciding on Heildy's first name some time in the future (or... first/second. Like with how Joal has two interchangable first names. You get me,) days or so.

 

~

 

Next matter of business. In the last post I mentioned in a state which I'm glad I'm through that Pruria is my wife. Some may have also noticed that I changed my signature to ''In love.'' This is nothing new, Pruria's always kind of implied that we're married in the past to me. And I accepted with neutral silence.

 

But now, I feel completely comfortable with the idea that other people know. Before I've always thought it slightly extroverted of me to say, and imposing on others, and I don't like shit like that. So yeah, we've been married since about a month after creation began. You can work out how long that is. So please don't become confused if I mention 'the wife' of she mentions 'the husband'. [My husband <3] I'm not saying it, that's pushing it a little. [Well I'm your wife <3 *lick*!] My face...

 

~

 

Next order of matter. And this maybe a little strange. I'm going to let Pruria either stream or record herself playing minecraft—POSSESSION ONLY!—to be seen by those on the .info. Why? Well she wants to play because it's the only game she's found so far that she doesn't have a hatred for, and one of our friends TJ (the more irc prone peeps will know him alot better,) said he'd give her a minecraft shirt if she can find diamonds in her own world, on her own, without my help or influence.

 

Oh, and I kind of want to reach out to the community in a way, idk really know.... I just want to... it's weird. You guys, something to do with anyone who reads this progress report.

 

Opinions? Should she or shouldn't she? It will most likely only be visible to those on the .info, for obvious reasons. (and more so those who read this thread.) [bRING IT ON TJ YOU MOTHER FUCKER!] She's excited.

 

She will be commentating on it, so my voice will be heard, damn I'm scared. But I've been told I've changes drastically when she speaks. We'll work it out.

[G+3]

No time for long post, though THERE'S A FUCKING LOT I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT LATER TONIGHT!

 

• Hieldy has a strange voice; and I hear it alot better than I did Pruria this early on
  
• Heildy has changed er attire slightly
  
• Myself and Pruria got a little snappy at each other and both made each other incredibly angry+sad
  
• But everything is G again
  
• Pruria and Heildy like each other very much. Perhaps too much, mainly on Pruria's half. I'll be- [i was messing to get you worked up, you know I wouldn't do anything like that to me man :P]
  
• Apparently, that's all okay now too
  
• Heildy is incredibly active