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Ashmo's First Tulpa

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Guest amber5885

I MISS YOU FRIEND!!!! I hope everything works out with you and bud, I hope thigs get better.

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  • 5 months later...
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I MISS YOU FRIEND!!!! I hope everything works out with you and bud, I hope thigs get better.


Things are much better, Amber. Thank you! I missed you as well!

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  • 2 weeks later...

So a lot has happened in that past-what has it been? Nine months? Sounds about right.


Bud thinks it's more like six, but I'm too lazy, and too tired to do the math.


Long and skinny of things, we've kept on keeping on and it's paying off three-fold. His mind is becoming more and more its own. I can feel him separating mentally, even though we're growing closer together at the same time. We spend a lot of time in this omnipresent thought-cloud of sorts. It's like the body is on auto-pilot, not quite in or out of either of our control, but just going about, doing it's thing while we just kind of seem to exist together. I can't describe it more than that. It's a good feeling.

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Sometimes I think back on all the people I've liked and admired who have vanished from this site, and I wonder if they're still going strong with their tulpas, or if they've "grown up" and they no longer take the idea seriously. Every once in a while one of them comes back, and it gives me faith.


It's wonderful to hear that it's still going well for you and Bud. I hope to see you around more.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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  • 3 weeks later...

It's nice to know that there's a few souls out there who are thinking of us.


I'm getting a promotion. Work is sending me to grooming school, then I may take a full time position in another store, or a full time slot might open up at my own. I'm excited. I'll be going to Las Vegas for a month for my training, so there will be lots of my and Bud time. He likes the upcoming change. He really like being around all the dogs at work.


Overclocking seems to drift in and out when it wants to. We haven't figured out if it works when Bud and I concentrate together, or when I have more attention...or if Bud has more control over it. It really seems to be at random. I still can't see him clearly, but he's achieved the spectral form of a vaguely colored form of himself? In a way this is a good thing, because I can't puppet him anymore while forcing imposition unless he lets me.


Little by little he's getting stronger and I feel my mind becoming our minds. I've begun to enter territory into that's rather hard to describe. The process, sensations...all of it really. I don't know if it's because we're so new into this seemingly new phase, or if I simply lack the understanding of it yet. All I can really say is that it's positive. Even the frustrating parts because good always seems to come from them.

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  • 2 months later...

We have a steady source of wifi now, so I'm FINALLY able to be on regularly again. Bud and I are really well. He'll be 2 in September.


~I talk a lot more now!


Yep, there's that too. We have a nice new rule we use around people who know about him. Any time he says anything, or has a thought to contribute, I make sure to let it be known so he can be a part of everything he wants to.


We're just now incorporating it to the web, but it's working out quite well at home with Bree.


He still calls Breanna and I both "Mom", but it's evolved into more of a nickname, or even a term of endearment.


Things are good. Things are still a work in progress. We stepped away from the computer for a time so now I feel like I've lost any point this post had. I'm back. We're back. And we're happy to be here.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So much has happened in such a short amount of time that I don't know where to start. Or even what we should cover.




Things have been progressing rapidly, to say the least. Since things have started developing between him and Breanna-between the three of us really, he's growing by leaps and bounds again. We don't really know what's going on other than it's fast and wonderful.

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So I'm going to try and actually write a progress report without losing my train of thought and therefore the point of the report all together.


It seems like that's been happening more lately.


The more conscious he gets, the worse my ADD seems to be getting. We're hoping it's temporary like the dizziness was. My tinnitus is basically nonexistent now, but we think that's because of the introduction of MMJ to my system.


Side note on that, I honestly think the MMJ has been the key to Bud's recent and rapid development. My dosage isn't high enough to cause psychoactive affects, but it's so effective at relieving the constant, chronic pain I'm in that I think it's making it easier for Bud to be allowed to exist.


I can't concentrate on multiple things at once like I used to be able to. Like listening to someone tell me something while playing a video game at the same time. I can't even listen and type together anymore.


I can take dictation better than I ever could, which might be some kind of trade off.


Another trade off is that it seems like whatever I was trying to follow in the background while focusing on the primary, Bud is able to follow that a bit better. Not constantly and not fluently yet, but he's help me catch up more than a few times lately when I missed bits of what people were saying to me because my personal attention was divided.


I proxy his words and movements for Breanna a lot now. It's not switching or real possession or anything like that, but we think it's the start. We wear my wedding band on the opposite side so Bree knows when we change. I seem to easily take on his mannerisms. We don't know what it really means yet, we haven't researched anything on possession or switching, ever. I still don't know if we will. What we're doing is working for us, and we like it.


Bud stopped calling us both "mom" just a little while after I posted he still was calling both of us it. He now refers to her as I do, and he calls me by the private name I think of myself as.


A lot of things have changed as far as how we all see each other. He's still very adamant he's gay, but he is also comfortable enough with himself to admit he loves and is attracted to Breanna and myself. Our relationship is evolving in an interesting way. Breanna and I are obviously still together, Bud and I are...we don't know what, and he and Bree have made it official and are also dating each other. It's confusing and complicated, but we're all having a lot of fun figuring it out.


I think that actually sums up pretty much everything lately.

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