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Ashmo's First Tulpa


Ashmo

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Oh wow, is it only one bad tooth left? Your wisdom teeth are coming in very late, at 25. They should have come in way earlier so that the pain wouldn't have overwhelmed Bud. Maybe you could try plunging something sharp in the ground of the wonderland that pulses so that he knows to let you know he's still there for sure. Maybe he could pulse back...

My lip hurts.

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My top wisdom came in when I was 20, they do for most people. It's why they call them your 20 year old molars, along with being called wisdom teeth. But my bottom ones are compacted, so because they are growing out of the side of my jaw, it stunted their timing by quite a while. I'm not having much problem on the right side because I had a molar pulled (same one I need pulled on my left side) some time ago and the gap that was left is leaving room for the teeth to slide into place. It's a problem on my left side because the tooth that needs to be pulled has a large hole in it and the nerve is exposed. Because the integrity of the tooth is so bad, the pressure from the incoming molar is simply fucking my day right up.

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So I probably don't have my upper wisdom teeth yet... groan. I hope they don't hurt too bad. My first bottom ones itched and ached but not so bad, and I regretted getting them pulled because my cheek was bothering me for what seemed like ages afterward. This was from the one that hurt to get out. The pressure they put pushing on it was crazy. They did something to stop the pain. Perhaps it was another shot that I couldn't feel.

 

The itching was really bothersome though. Couldn't really scratch it. Perhaps alcohol helps with that.

My lip hurts.

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When my top ones came in, it was like I was going through toddler teething all over again, lol. I was sore and achy and it itched a bit like you're describing. I was just all around grumpy and I just really didn't like it. Looking back now though, comparing that to this, I'd give just about anything to have the first experience again.

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Bud is back! Almost completely.

 

Two nights ago I found him in wonderland. Sitting in his chair by the fire place in the house like everything as normal. I normally active force for a half hour to an hour before I fall asleep. I must have been there for at least three.

 

Yesterday I still wasn't able to really passive force or feel him while I narrated. I mean I still did, but it felt the same as it did while he was gone. Like I was being silly and everything that I've experienced before had never happened. I met up in wonderland with him before bed and we spent some time together before I drifted off.

 

Today was much better! He's back! He's still a bit distant and I can't exactly hear his thoughts like I was beginning to be able to before all of this happened. But I feel him again. I read a little him today. I had forgotten exactly what paragraph we were on when we left off last so I started reading from where I thought was right, he informed me he had already heard that part and I skimmed a head until he basically told me to stop.

 

I still haven't got the tooth pulled, and I'm still on vicodin..I don't know why he's able to come back now. I can't say I've gotten used to the pain. If anything it's getting worse at times. Maybe he's gotten a bit stronger in his time away? I really know. I don't really care, as long as he doesn't leave like that again.

 

He came back a bit different. Now when I see him, he's hyper realistic. I've never pictured him as a cartoon or anything like that before but...I don't know how to describe it other than he's always looked realistic to me, but now it's too an almost creepy level. More defined now, I guess? I shouldn't say creepy, that would imply it's something bad. It's just going to take some getting used to.

 

He also doesn't have a little boy voice anymore. He finally sounds full grown. I still don't know if this is going to be his actual voice, but it's a bit easier to take him more seriously with this voice now. Not that I didn't before, but you have to admit, there is something "off" when a 7 foot tall, bipedal tiger/dog monster with giant wings that breathes fire speaks to you in the voice of a first grader.

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I'm so glad he's back. Sounds like it might even have done him a little good.

"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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Bud is still distant when I'm not active forcing. I expect it will be like this until I can get my tooth pulled or the molar stops growing for a while. I don't mind, though it's a little frustrating for both of us. I'm just happy he's back and he feels very happy to be back.

 

I've asked him where he went, but he's not very comfortable talking about it yet. He's just simply told he was, "Away so he could get better." I'm not quite sure what he means by that. If he was trying to strengthen himself, or if my pain was causing him pain. He doesn't like talking about it, so I'm not going to push the subject. If he is every ready, I'll gladly welcome his explanation.

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Very happy to hear Bud is back! I'm sure you will be able to clear everything up with him once you are able to completely get rid of the pain you are in

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Thank you. For the time being I think I really need to step up the active forcing. It's not as hard as the passive right now, and the meditation really helps take the pain away, so I'm just going to have to simply force in a different way than I'm used to for my bulk "tulpa time". ^_^

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[/color]Still not much to write home about. More active forcing is proving harder than I thought it would be because the vicodin makes me sleepy. I'm try to persevere, but my "reality" in wonderland get fuzzy as my mind drifts into sleep. Bud understand, and I always warn him it might happen, he just seems to enjoy what little extra play time he gets. I'm still trying to passive force like I do. It's getting a bit better, but it's still not like how it was.

 

We started something new today. Bud has been wanting to play his own Pokemon game for a while now, but I refuse to restart my Soul Silver. I have a female starter, female Togepi, a female Eevee and it's the first game that I didn't kill a shiny when I came across it. It's a shiny Whooper. It's only the second time I've ever found a shiny. I don't count the red Gyarados at the Lake of Rage. My first was a Stantler, I caught it, but my game glitched up and I had to restart from the beginning.

 

I'm getting on track...

 

I also have a Pokemon: Ruby game, but I'm letting Jacob, Bree's younger brother borrow it. He though, has a Pokemon: Fire Red and he's letting me borrow it because I've never played the Red remake. I hadn't really got around to playing it myself yet, so now Bud is playing.

 

I find it kind of comical, an Arcanine Pokemon trainer.

 

No, I'm not practicing possession or anything like that. I'm trying to make him more vocal by being his hands while he proxies the commands to me. Because the game isn't based on reaction time, it's proving to be easier than I thought it would be. There is a bit of a "lag", if you will. I basically walk until there is a point where he has to make a decision and I have to wait for his response.

 

He chose Bulbasaur, one I have never personally used before. There is a 9 in 10 chance that the starter will be male. I personally think it's to try and prevent mass breeding of starter Pokemon. He was actually really excited. He was going to get a boy, name him "Trevor" and his adventure was going to be epic.

 

So of course, he ended up with a female. He wanted to soft reset right then, but I told him that soft resetting is only for veteran trainers and since this is his first go around, no soft reset. He was a bit annoyed, but he named her "Angie". He named his rival "Kaz" and didn't want to listen to me with his very first battle and lost. Again, he wanted to soft rest and I wouldn't let him. I'm actually finding that he is kind of a sore loser, and I hope this experience will help build some patience in him.

 

I've also blocked my memory of the story's plot and everything I know about the game aside from very basic game play from his knowledge. He isn't too happy with that either, but I simply can't take away from someone's very first Pokemon experience. On top of all this I'm not letting him use any guides or walk through. I have a firm rule for myself never to use them any time I play a game for the first time, and I'm holding him to the same standard. He isn't very happy about any of that but it doesn't seem to discourage him from playing the game.

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