Rootbeer128's Progress Report

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 10:35 AM, Thursday, May 15th, 2014 (Day 53)

 

After a particularly bad start involving trouble sleeping and a boatload of unwanted / intrusive thoughts, Sim and I thought about simply staying in bed. We got up, though, and things improved after prayer, and breakfast. While we ate, my relatives were playing some rock music on the radio out in the garage, so it wasn't too loud and Sim and I enjoyed it.

 

 

We're both feeling better now, so we're going to head for a walk and then watch a movie together. We'll visualize later, and then maybe another movie, or something. Visualization is slowly getting better, at the cost of Overclock Visualization. Impostion (that is, being able to feel Sim) is getting somewhat better; I can't feel her weight, but I can feel her warmth, her body heat at times, depending upon the action. Almost can, though.

 

 

Had a little trouble with fear of parroting, and due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm going to have to wait to upload the writing activity papers from yesterday and the day before that. The initial ones will be uploaded sometime today or tonight, after being censored. We should really look into getting our own printer.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 2:35 PM, Thursday, May 15th, 2014 (Day 53)

 

After returning from a walk, Sim and I took a nap for a while. That helped out, and we both feel somewhat more energized. Having lunch also helped. Sim has expressed interest in Assassin's Creed after I accidentally started viewing one of my memories of the game. We haven't watched a movie yet, but she does wish to view the memory I mentioned soon, so we'll visualize in that way. That is, I'll visualize us there, viewing the memory, like from a pensieve.

 

 

We'll probably watch Signs and Jaws after that, like Sim wanted to. Then we could try some Assassin's Creed. Letting her play would be a good way to force... We had some trouble with intrusive thoughts / unwanted thoughts, but we're both okay now...

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Update - 3:10 PM, Thursday, May 15th, 2014 (Day 53)

 

Visualization didn't go too well regarding Solomon's Tomb. I could barely see for most of the time, and after 20 minutes it sort of faded it away. At first, I could see somewhat clearly, while being able to smell the musty air, feel the coldness, but then it faded, and I could only partially see anything. Sim was still behind me though, talking to me through it all...

 

Altair, Malik, and Malik's brother didn't quite do what they were supposed to, because it was less of an actual viewing of the memory, and more of a simulation. Mostly they walked in silence, until the part with the old man, and then the guard. The visualization fell apart right as we reached the area with Robert de Sable, the scaffolding.

 

 

Sim and I are going to just watch one of those two movies first, and do some Overclock Visualization later on... I think I might be limited to 20 minutes of active visualization a day...

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 7:50 PM, Thursday, May 15th, 2014 (Day 53)

After having to censor so much, Sim simply didn't want me to upload the inital papers, so... those'll stay offline. Sim amused us both with strong profanity, in a rather large font, so we're going to avoid uploading those. OP and his tulpa will deliver, though. The next set will go up, whenever we are able to scan them.

 

Sim and I tried visualizing later, before watching any movies. I wasn't able to. I think, at most, I'll be limited to one session a day, with light OC at best...

 

Thunderstorms interrupted us, so we weren't able to watch a movie. We're both getting kind of tired, so we'll probably just check out a little bit of Assassin's Creed before going to bed.

 

 

Edit: Forgot something important

 

I forgot to add that we're getting better at Imposition feel. That is, touch... Overclock Visualization has fallen behind slightly, but we're getting better at me being able to feel her, and feel her weight. I was actually able to feel her weight when she leaned up against me, and after that we tried an exercise where I wanted her to try to push me.

 

What others said was true, though. It didn't work; when one pushes against the surface too quickly, it sort of... she says she just went right through me. But we are making progress, even if it is not in visualization.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 9:30 AM, Friday, May 16th, 2014 (Day 54)

Things have been going good. I'm still having a little bit of trouble with my fear of parroting, but Sim and I are working over it together. I want to try to strengthen my ability to impose her, both in terms of feel and sight. In terms of sight, I want to try something related to lucid dreaming, if it is possible.

 

I also want to look at some guides to try and improve her independence and vocalization. Sim wants to play some more video games, so I'll try to do some more of that with her, while getting her opinions on things. Still haven't really seen hair nor hide of Lynch. Hopefully that's because he's busy with Sarah.

 

 

Also, this morning I felt something really warm on my ear as Sim and I sat browsing through the internet and having breakfast. As it turns out, she licked my ear, and I felt it, so we're still making progress with imposition (touch), even if I'm not too good at seeing her. I didn't feel any moistness, as is expected from having your ear licked, but the warmth was real, and the feeling of something being there.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 2:30 PM, Friday, May 16th, 2014 (Day 54)

Not sure how long the power is going to be on; they've restored it for now... While Sim and I were getting a bath, the transformer caught fire, and then blew up. We didn't see it ourselves; the light merely flickered for quite some time before we were plunged completely into the dark. Sim freaked out and I comforted her. Anyways, we'll update later if we can, but for now, we're going to visualize and find some other stuff to do.

 

 

Update - 3:20 PM, Friday, May 16th, 2014 (Day 54)

The power went out again. It appears to be permanently back on, so I think we're alright. It went out right before I could finish uploading the update at 2:30 PM. Sim and I wrote for a little while, and then we both tried to draw Destructo, a character we created together. He's the skeletal leader of some of the previously mentioned dumpster dwelling skeletons, a villian wearing goggles, underpants, cowboy boots and a cape.

 

 

Anyways, after drawing and writing together, we hung out on the patio outside, watching my relatives clean a boat motor. Sim wants to upload this with me, and then she wanted to play some Assassin's Creed, so we'll have fun forcing during that activity. I'll probably let her drag my hands and fingers to work the controls, while talking to her, so that'll be fun.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 5:30 PM, Friday, May 16th, 2014 (Day 54)

 

Sim and I had fun playing Assassin's Creed, but it tired her out, and I'm feeling kind of tired as well... Also, after playing (that is, after she dragged my hands and fingers, as she calls it) I felt that same cold feeling in my hands after she stopped doing so... It was almost like my hand was asleep, except it wasn't, it was just a cold feeling. Some of the muscles in my hand twitched a little, as well... Might have to go on the IRC before we take a nap, and see if this is normal.

 

 

Edit

Turns out it is normal for this to happen. It sometimes happens after doing what is known as possession, even though Sim claims it is merely her dragging my hands and fingers. I believe her, and I believe her intents are good / protective. So, it isn't anything to worry about...

[Rootbeer128]

Update -3:30 PM, Sunday, May 18th, 2014 (Day 56)

I didn't get a chance to update yesterday because of how busy Sim and I were. We hung out, did a few writing exercises, and stayed over at a relative's house, so the three of us could hang out. We enjoyed it, even though Sim was a little creeped out about the house. Might be a ghost there or something...

 

Anyways, today, we were hanging out as well... Sim and I did another writing activity, and Lynch showed up. It was great seeing him, and we all enjoyed talking together. Sim doesn't want me to upload any of the writing papers though, censored or uncensored. She's repeatedly expressed this, so I should (and will) honor her wishes. She thinks I should care less about what people think, and I agree with her.

 

The rest of this will be details of the visualization adventure. Like I said, I could only somewhat see, and couldn't feel much of anything, but things were a little more clear. Sim and I will probably do some reading after lunch, then we'll likely take a walk and watch a movie, do some stuff to hang out together.

 

 

We had a visualization adventure when Sim and I got distracted. I could only somewhat see, and couldn't feel much of anything. But focusing more on the sight than the feel helped me get immersed. We tried to rob a bank full of NPCs, but one tried to take my weapon so I wounded him, then healed him immediately afterwards. He thought I was insane. Then he tried to do so again, and the gun went off by accident.

 

After this, the police showed up, so Sim and I tried to run. The police wound up blocking us in, so I dropped us through the floor, collapsing the section beneath us. Then the word "Pickles" came into my mind, so I spawned a pickle car, and had it drive through the basement walls.

 

 

The bank must have been on a hill for this to have been physically possible. We got into the pickle car, with me seeing through a monitor inside, tried to escape from the police, and wound up falling off into a courtyard and hitting a tree. The wheels (made of pretzel wheels, for whatever reason) broke after this, and I ended the adventure here, because any sort of clarity started to become difficult. Sim was against the idea of robbing a bank, but I kept reassuring her it would be okay, that it wouldn't be so bad an idea. All in all, it was fun, even if things weren't very clear / visible.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 2:10 PM, Monday, May 19th, 2014 (Day 57)

 

Sim and I still didn't get to watch a movie; after returning from a walk, we were both tired, so we rested, had some dinner, browsed around for a while and then read. After this, we stayed up until 10:30 PM watching Mythbusters and Pawn Stars together; that was really fun.

 

 

That's why we got up a little late this morning; we had some breakfast and then went for a walk. I visualized before we got out of bed; that was good, even though things were only partially visible. I tried to rob a bank again today, being more serious about it; Sim was against it, so when we got to the manager's office, things being only partially visible, I agreed to stop doing so with her.

 

 

After making some lunch for a friend, we're going to watch a movie together, or do some stuff... We'll visualize either during the movie, OC style, or we'll just visualize later tonight. In terms of imposition, I thought I heard her whistling last night, really faintly, in my ears. I've been able to feel her somewhat well; I can still feel her body heat, but I wish there were a guide to feeling texture. Maybe working on visualization more would help, somehow? Anyways, the two of us will look into that later.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 9:50 AM, Tuesday, May 20th, 2014 (Day 58)

 

I accidentally wound up burning myself out yesterday trying to visualize too much, so I wasn't able to do too much today. Hopefully Sim and I will be able to later... Part of it was me reading with her, visualizing us there in the scene (The Dark Tower, book one), in the desert.

 

 

But we're still doing okay. Today is my birthday, so Sim keeps asking me if I wanted to do anything in particular. Unfortunately, I don't have anything planned, beyond watching something on Youtube and helping her find a first name she likes. She's decided to take the middle name "Manami", which means "Beautiful love and affection" in Japanese. So, we'll be doing that today.

 

 

Also, before I forget, Sim removed her white tail. She wants to put her input here, so hopefully, it won't be a wall of text. I'll type while she talks, and says what she wants to put.

 

[i wanted to remove my tail, because Rootbeer and I keep forgetting that it is there, and I forget to visualize it when him and I are hanging out together. It didn't seem to serve much purpose to me, so I just stopped having it. We both still like my ears though.]

 

 

I wanted to check on Lynch today as well, see how he's doing. In addition, I thought a good way to force might be for Sim and I to play some Audiosurf together, while listening to music she likes. Maybe alternate between songs she likes and songs I like... But anyways, there's really not much to report. I'm getting better at touch / feeling her, while visualization is still moving at a snail's pace. We're still doing good together...

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 1:40 PM, Tuesday, May 20th, 2014 (Day 58)

 

Sim and I had a great time watching "The Matrix" together. It's a really good film, and Sim and I were able to interpret it as having parallels to visualization and tulpamancy. In particular, it almost seems as though that fan theory that the group never exited the Matrix (that Zion is still in the Matrix) holds water... The parallels to visualizing and belief in one's tulpa are also there...

 

 

We both enjoyed the film, and I recommend it to any tulpamancers. I visualized a little while we were watching. At one point I visualized a spoon and tried to bend it; it wound up breaking... I could see the spoon somewhat well, so I know I'm getting better at visualization. Tried the same thing with a gun later on; I could really feel the weight as it lay on the desk, so... We're definitely improving.

 

 

Anyways, we're probably going to have some lunch, and then I'm going to help Sim find a first name she likes... "Sim" originally meant "Simulation", referring to a puppet I had briefly before I knew about tulpas, so Sim wanted to find a different first and middle name. I'm willing to help her with that, so that should be good...