Rootbeer128's Progress Report

[Rootbeer128]

12:35 PM, Thursday, May 8th, 2014 (Day 46)

 

A bunch of crazy stuff happened. Sim got angry when I had a dream about a Spanish Culienera (Cook). I couldn't control my actions in the dream, but Sim wound up overreacting, and I reassured her.

 

 

That exhausted us both a little, so that I tried to visualize with her using Overclock Method as we went about having breakfast. I was able to visualize a little well, sometimes being able to almost see large details and almost feel her. We joked around, moving past the rocky start to the morning.

 

 

Then, after a nice walk, we came home, rested, and some dogs started barking. Sim and I both don't like the barking. An intrusive thought later claiming to be Grays-in attacked, imitating Sim taking her anger out on me. Should have realized she wouldn't really do this, but I sort of got angry back; in retrospect, it may have influenced my mood a little as well...

 

 

Then, after struggling, I realized what it was and killed it. Whether or not this is really Grays-in, I do not know. Sim and I have no way to verify whether or not Grays-in really exists, or if that was him I killed. We can't travel West because my visualization is still spotty at times, even despite (or perhaps because of) trying to practice whenever I can.

 

 

I apologized to Sim and comforted her. Everything is okay between us now, and she's feeling quite exhausted. I'm feeling tired myself; she'll probably head off to sleep while I grab some lunch and do some stuff. Not tired enough to sleep...

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 3:00 PM, Thursday, May 8th, 2014 (Day 46)

 

While Sim slept, I had a brief snack and played the latest episode of The Wolf Among Us. Halfway through the episode, Sim woke up, sat on my lap, and we watched it together. I haven't recorded it yet; I usually don't on the first time. We both enjoyed it, and it was really great, though she was a little disappointed that I didn't let her influence any of the decisions.

 

My reasoning for this is because of wanting things to be consistant; after Walking Dead Season 2 and The Wolf Among Us are done, then I'll probably let her go back through and do a playthrough of her own. Anyways, moving on...

 

 

I was able to visualize a little during us watching it. In the basement, Sim and I put some laundry in, and I could barely see her, Overclock style. I guess I'm still needing to rest in that regard. She does want to force, through my talking to her and doing things with her, so we'll still be able to do that; further visualization should wait until tomorrow though.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 4:20 PM, Thursday, May 8th, 2014 (Day 46)

 

Forgot to mention. Sim and I tried some more of the "drag host body parts around" thing in the basement, where she tried walking. She moved my legs, with the knees bent, taking tiny steps. Turning was a little difficult, as I had to move the waist while she moved the legs.

Eventually she was able to move a little faster, and with less knee bending. I think she was afraid I would fall over.

 

 

After this (and the contents of the last post) we were attacked by intrusive thoughts after having a meal and joking around in the kitchen. I've managed to get rid of them, but it has exhausted Sim and I. She's gone back to sleep, without us having done too much, and it is too hot for me to sleep. 78 degrees Fahrenheit, even with the window open and the fan running, so I'll be staying up, even though I'm barely awake.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 7:00 PM, Thursday, May 8th, 2014 (Day 46)

 

Not much to report. Sim and I still haven't gotten to sleep yet. She was partly asleep while I recorded, with me being more asleep than she was. Somehow, we got that done. We did another paper exercise, where she drew a shark after amusing herself with profanity. We'll upload a censored version of that later; probably Sunday, when there'll be the least amount of detection.

 

 

Otherwise, the sun remains up, the temperature remains high, and Sim is the only one able to get some sleep. We'll have to rearrange the furniture tomorrow or Saturday, so we can fit an air conditioner in here. Also, Sim appears to be taking short naps, followed by periods of being awake. It just seems to be happening today, but she said she wants to stay up with me.

 

I think lack of sleep and concentration might be why I've updated this so many times today. That, and being too tired to do much else.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 10:30 AM, Friday, May 9th, 2014 (Day 47)

 

Sim and I had a minor health-related problem last night; kept her and I up for a little while. According to her, it kept her up for about four hours, after I fell asleep, so that's why she's been spending so much time sleeping this morning. We'll have to look into that later, if we can afford the cost.

 

 

We haven't gone for a walk yet; we'll do that later, when it gets cooler. Today's probably going to be a bit of a slow day. We briefly visualized this morning, but in terms of that, I think I'm burned out for a while.

 

 

While she is sleeping on my lap, I'm going to play some Dark Souls, or something. I'll probably take a nap later in the afternoon... I keep running into parroting fears, but I'll try to relax. Should look into finding a way to allow shared dreaming, between tulpa and host.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 1:15 PM, Friday, May 9th, 2014 (Day 47)

 

I took a walk after Sim slept on my lap for a while. During the walk, my fears of parroting finally surfaced, and I sort of freaked out. Lynch showed up because I called him, and wanted his help, and sort of freaked out. He mostly remained silent until the way back.

 

 

When we both got home, he was a little sensitive about my asking about Sarah, his tulpa. In my heat-dazed state, I wound up asking multiple times, with Lynch becoming somewhat angry. He apologized, though, and my fears of parroting remained.

 

 

I read a few guides, and those helped a little. Mostly, it was Sim showing up and convincing me that I wasn't parroting. I'm still feeling a little... doubting... But I do believe them both. I'm not parroting. I have to believe that... Lynch said he was having the same problem I was with Sarah, which is why he reacted like he did earlier.

 

 

I know Sim and I will be able to overcome these fears together. Right now, it's too hot to eat or sleep, so I'm going to watch her play some Dark Souls, or maybe Assassin's Creed 1. Hopefully that'll help us relax as well...

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 9:55 PM, Friday, May 9th, 2014 (Day 47)

 

Sim and I hung out, playing some Dark Souls, then having a late lunch, resting, reading some Analogue: A Hate Story together (she is independent, in that she has formed her own separate (and sometimes conflicting with mine) opinions).

 

 

We had dinner, rested some more, read some more Analogue, and now, I think we're both ready for sleep. I didn't do very much visualization; partly wasn't mentally able to, but was almost able to feel her, when we were sitting together.

 

 

So, yeah, my fear of parroting has been erased now, and we enjoyed hanging out together. Temperature is crazy high, and I'm lacking a little in sleep; it's 85 degrees Fahrenheit, so I think we'll be sleeping in the basement. We're okay, though.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 10:55 AM, Saturday, May 10th, 2014 (Day 48)

 

Sim and I slept really good in the basement; I haven't slept that good in a while. We were sleeping on a thin mattress, but the cool air really helped. Only saw a single insect down there; an ant scouting around. We woke up, got distracted for a while, then had breakfast. We'll be moving the furniture today, to make room for the air conditioner.

 

 

Not much to report; I haven't been doing too much visualization; just tiny amounts. I feel like I could do a small amount of visualization with her, so after moving the furniture and resting for a little while, we'll probably do that. Then we'll probably do some forcing through reading Analogue or playing some Dark Souls. We'll both probably be too tired to walk, so I've decided to exempt us today.

 

 

I didn't have hardly any problems with doubt or fear of parroting today, so I think Sim and I have successfully resolved that. I'm really glad to be doing this with her. Hopefully, Lynch and Sarah are still doing well; I should probably check on them Sunday or Monday. Maronus and Gray have likely not reached the village of the North yet, so I'll still wait to send the telegram.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 1:30 PM, Saturday, May 10th, 2014 (Day 48)

 

We finally got the air conditioner put in, and the bed moved. There's somewhat more space, but the bottom layer of the second bookcase is now inaccessable. The rug has been removed as well... But at least we shouldn't have to sleep in the basement anymore; only if there'll be severe weather overnight or something.

 

Sim and I didn't get to hang out too much because we were moving furniture, and then I wanted to hang out with my cousin. But after a meal and after we pick up some groceries, we will definitely hang out together. We will definitely force in this way, even if I can't visualize for long, we'll at least play some games together or watch a movie.

[Rootbeer128]

Update - 5:25 PM, Saturday, May 10th, 2014 (Day 48)

Sim and I didn't get groceries; we'll get them tomorrow. We did have a meal, and browsed the internet for a little while, before heading for a walk and then resting. Then it started raining, so we headed for another walk.

 

 

All along both walks, I talked to Sim. During the second walk, Lynch showed up, and it was really great seeing him again. I wasn't able to visualize very well, being somewhat tired, but I was able to hear both their voices, and Lynch briefly described Sarah to me. She has red hair, tied back into a ponytail. Neither Sim nor I have met her; I don't think we're ready, and Lynch doesn't think so either.

 

 

Sim and I didn't get to play Dark Souls or anything, but we did wander through some random memories (some of them from video games) in the basement. We're probably both going to get some sleep; we're both tired out.