Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[Actinium]

Funny you should mention a dream about peace because the dream I had last night was almost the exact opposite. Panic and Confusion.

 

Oddly enough it mentioned Yumi. From what I remember I was running through a prison that was falling apart in some areas. The guards were still in the prison and they were trying to find me and it felt like I was running in circles because most of the prison looked exactly the same, not to mention that it was really f_cking dark too. I got to one of the courtyards and saw a massive hole in a wall. Right before I climbed inside, I heard someone shout "HEY! YOU NEED TO GET TO YUMI WHATS-HER-FACE!" Here's where the confusion begins.

 

After I climbed in, it looked like I was watching a video on youtube. It was titled "Video footage of my 14 floor building." I was inside the video. When I looked behind me, I saw a shadow. Something was following me and I had no idea what it was though it did have a female voice. I just bolted up the stairs and every floor had a different design; Wood, glass, cement, and other materials. When I got to the top, I went down a hole and when I got to the bottom I saw Tingle and he gave me a bunch of coins and then we took off on a boat that bounced through the water. This is the point where things started to just fall apart.

 

The next thing I knew was that everything was black, and I heard the voice of ManlyBadassHero talking about horror topics and how old people should calm down about them. After that was over there was a guy walking down the block with metal music playing. He was throwing fire from his hands to get rid of vines that covered the various houses and a billboard that I recognized as the cover of a Celldweller album even though it wasn't. The billboard was simply four zombies looking at the viewer with a green filter on the picture. A youtube comment popped up in the lower left corner of my vision and said that he was "un-spookifying" everything. When he got to the last house he didn't just set the vines of fire, the house caught on fire too. A guy with a bike rode by and the back wheel popped. This time I heard ManlyBadassHero speak again, and he said "It's true. I did have a bike when I was young." Then it cuts to him actually riding the same bike that had the wheel popped and he said "Maybe I am dreaming." How bizarre is it when someone in your dream realizes that they're in a dream and you don't? The last thing I remember seeing is some guy putting nickles in his nose and trying to blow them out. One of them got stuck and I offered to help. He responded with "No, it's okay. I got me legs trapped in there once."

 

 

...Anyways, good luck with Lillium. Aphelion also wanted to say something.

 

"Having another tulpa around will definitely help Lillium. My host has the same problems(though he mostly procrastinates), and having Haven around to work with me really paid off. Whenever she wasn't singing, she was helping me out with various things. Interacting with me. She even taught me how to sing, although I don't like doing as much as Haven does. I guess it makes sense since she's been doing it before she was even "born." Here's hoping that Yumi will be as just as supportive to Lillium as Haven was to me!" ~Aphelion

[Cinemaphobe]

@Thevious

 

Wow, amazing, I envy you for your dream. Dreams are amazing, and if I could I'd spend days sleeping to dream.

 

Believe it or not I used to spend days sleeping to dream lol

 

 

Anyways, sounds like your still a dying Phoenix, a and soon when some big life changing event/realization happens that we can't foretell about right now, then and only then will you shine brighter than before. But for now, it's all rising to that point. Sorry for the rambling lol ^^"

 

Yes I'm still a dying Phoenix, dying very very slowly...

On a happier note, I'm looking forward to the big life-changing event/realization.

Thank you for the rambling--I'm a rambler myself lol.

 

@Actinium

 

Funny you should mention a dream about peace because the dream I had last night was almost the exact opposite. Panic and Confusion.

 

Oddly enough it mentioned Yumi. From what I remember I was running through a prison that was falling apart in some areas. The guards were still in the prison and they were trying to find me and it felt like I was running in circles because most of the prison looked exactly the same, not to mention that it was really f_cking dark too. I got to one of the courtyards and saw a massive hole in a wall. Right before I climbed inside, I heard someone shout "HEY! YOU NEED TO GET TO YUMI WHATS-HER-FACE!" Here's where the confusion begins.

 

After I climbed in, it looked like I was watching a video on youtube. It was titled "Video footage of my 14 floor building." I was inside the video. When I looked behind me, I saw a shadow. Something was following me and I had no idea what it was though it did have a female voice. I just bolted up the stairs and every floor had a different design; Wood, glass, cement, and other materials. When I got to the top, I went down a hole and when I got to the bottom I saw Tingle and he gave me a bunch of coins and then we took off on a boat that bounced through the water. This is the point where things started to just fall apart.

 

The next thing I knew was that everything was black, and I heard the voice of ManlyBadassHero talking about horror topics and how old people should calm down about them. After that was over there was a guy walking down the block with metal music playing. He was throwing fire from his hands to get rid of vines that covered the various houses and a billboard that I recognized as the cover of a Celldweller album even though it wasn't. The billboard was simply four zombies looking at the viewer with a green filter on the picture. A youtube comment popped up in the lower left corner of my vision and said that he was "un-spookifying" everything. When he got to the last house he didn't just set the vines of fire, the house caught on fire too. A guy with a bike rode by and the back wheel popped. This time I heard ManlyBadassHero speak again, and he said "It's true. I did have a bike when I was young." Then it cuts to him actually riding the same bike that had the wheel popped and he said "Maybe I am dreaming." How bizarre is it when someone in your dream realizes that they're in a dream and you don't? The last thing I remember seeing is some guy putting nickles in his nose and trying to blow them out. One of them got stuck and I offered to help. He responded with "No, it's okay. I got me legs trapped in there once."

 

Yumi would end up in what sounds like a maximum security prison. Especially because of the way she beats up NPC monks for fun because she knows that they aren't sentient. But now she is intruding into the dreams of my dear readers and wreaking havoc?

 

We are all screwed.

 

Reading about your dream intrigued me because your dreams are a lot like mine! I'm glad yet another person on this Earth has very trippy dreams.

We are both very lucky, even if our dreams can be horrifying. I wish that I could analyze your dream for symbolism, but such a task would require hours of brainstorming and gallons of coffee.

 

"Having another tulpa around will definitely help Lillium. My host has the same problems(though he mostly procrastinates), and having Haven around to work with me really paid off. Whenever she wasn't singing, she was helping me out with various things. Interacting with me. She even taught me how to sing, although I don't like doing as much as Haven does. I guess it makes sense since she's been doing it before she was even "born." Here's hoping that Yumi will be as just as supportive to Lillium as Haven was to me!" ~Aphelion

 

 

Awwwww that's cute that Haven helped you learn how to sing and supported you. I hope that Yumi supports Lillium instead of using her as a punching bag...

 

Kidding.

 

Thank you for commenting on this and giving your input. You are free to do so again in the future Aphelion :)

 

 

 

Life News, Yumi News, Wonderland News, Past News.

 

 

I got transferred to a new restaurant and my co-workers were surprisingly saddened by my departure. I received heart-wrenching farewells from everyone and my manager even hugged me. I felt deeply wounded after I left, but Yumi flew in front of my handlebars while I was bike riding and told me You only need me for now. You'll make new friends and your new life will begin. Oh and one more thing:

 

SHE WAS VERY FAINTLY TRANSPARENT WHEN SHE TOLD ME THAT

 

I created a scale to measure the different levels of imposition and there are 11 levels.

 

 

The Cinema Scale of Imposition.

1. Tulpa is not visible, nor is the visualization present.

2. Tulpa is not visible, and the visualization is faint. The usage of the word "Faint" in this context is defined as having the ability to imagine a vague outline of your tulpa with few additional details.

3. Tulpa is not visible, but the visualization is moderate. The usage of the word "Moderate" in this context is defined as having the ability to make out essential features characteristic of your tulpa without a complete mental picture.

4. Tulpa is not visible, but the visualization is strong. The usage of the word "Strong" in this context is defined as having the ability to see every feature of your tulpa clearly and for an indefinite duration of time.

5. The strength of the visualization results in faint transparent peripheral hallucinations.

6. The strength of the visualization results in faint transparent hallucinations that can be focused on for a fraction of a second.

7. The strength of the visualization results in moderate transparent hallucinations that last for 1-5 seconds.

8. The strength of the visualization results in a strong transparent hallucination that lasts for an indefinite amount of time.

9. The strength of the visualization results in a non-transparent peripheral hallucination that lasts for a fraction of a second.

10. The strength of the visualization results in a non-transparent hallucination that can be focused on for 1-5 seconds.

11. The strength of the visualization results in a a non-transparent hallucination that lasts for an indefinite duration of time.

 

Yumi reached level 7 of visibility

 

She is still wearing her red dress that she plans to get married in, and her irises went back to their original red color. She is still a cutie and I haven't seen her so clearly in quite a while :3

 

Yumi and I created a kingdom in the wonderland. The kingdom is in a mountainous region filled with cherry blossom trees and fog. Thousands of bald NPC monks live in the kingdom. There are many locations within the wonderland that serve as places for certain activities to be performed:

 

The Palace: It sits on top of the Great Mountain; the largest mountain of the wonderland. The Palace overlooks the entire city and it's where Yumi and I sleep.

The Cherry Blossom Forest: This is where memories are burnt for campfires, discussed, and cherished. This is also a place for relaxation.

 

The Temple: Where Yumi was created. The Temple is used for any type of tulpaforcing.

 

The Grand Empire Library: Is a place full of bearded NPC scholars. In the library Yumi and I have deep conversations.

 

And finally,

 

The Grand Bar: The bar is located in the center of the kingdom. It serves alcohol and coffee, and the bearded man who was in my lucid dream is now the bartender.

 

 

Yumi and I were in a limousine on a road driving through the foggy cherry blossom forest and of course an NPC monk was driving. The sunlight that managed to escape through the clouds poured into the car and Yumi said "It's okay, I'm here." noticing how sad I felt for leaving my old life behind. I placed my hand on the dusty glass of the window, amazed at how much my visualization has improved since I started my tulpa journey, and she placed her hand on top of mine. Strangely enough, I could almost feel it. I felt a slight tingling in my hand in RL. She had the perfect female hand with shallow creases and slender fingers. I never designed her hands, so she must have done so herself.

 

Eventually she and I made it to the Grand Bar and I ordered a coffee. The interior of the bar was made of mahogany and swarmed with NPC monks wearing robes of various dark colors. I sat in the stool beside Yumi and she ordered alcohol while I ordered coffee. I tried my hardest to imagine the taste of it and I enjoyed it lol. After a few moments of sipping I threw the glass cup at the bartender and he ducked. The cup smashed into the large bottles of wine, sending plenty of glass and alcohol to the ground. Yumi and I chuckled maniacally and she started pushing monks to the ground.

 

Later on, Yumi and I had a random deep conversation. I guess she sensed that the thought of Mary crossed my mind either voluntarily or involuntarily.

I tried to dismiss the thought of Mary by speaking to Yumi:

 

So what do you want to talk about?

Your life.

Okay. Let's go.

Who is controlling your life?

Well I am, but you influence some of my decisions and thoughts.

You didn't answer my question. Controlling your life isn't only about having control over your decisions. It's about having control of how you feel, and you are still giving Mary control over your life by letting her memory bring you down. It's time to get control of your life.

Thought is a powerful thing--it created me. When you pay thought to Mary you are giving her power over you that she doesn't deserve anymore.

Thank you Yumi.

You are beyond welcome.

 

After that little talk she said that she would block off any bad feelings associated with letting go of her, and ever since I have felt no pain.

 

 

On a final note, I looked through an old dream journal that I wrote 3 years ago and discovered that I had a tulpa before I even knew that they existed. Her name was Harmony and I had a wonderland before I knew that they existed as well.

In the journal, I described her as "An embodiment of peace, happiness, compassion, and the goodness inside of me." I even described her as "Infinitely wise."

 

Here is some of what I wrote in the dream journal:

 

We flew into the clouds while the sun was setting on the beach and she told me "Don't worry." We flew straight up to the moon. I imagined all of this to create a separate reality. I wanted a place to escape. When you imagine something long enough, your mind gets transported there.

[align=justify]

I held her hand and we sat on the moon, staring at the Earth. She said "It's a small world. Life itself is small and fragile. It's too precious and beautiful to waste."

Harmony has flowing black hair, and I still can't make out her face, but I know that her face has all of the features I would want in a girl. She's everything I ever dreamed of and more. I looked at her with a smile and looked around. Clusters of stars of all colors shined everywhere. There were so many planets... We pointed at the shooting stars and later flew back down to Earth.

We flew to every continent together within seconds and she said "Don't worry. Life is small and precious." We laid down in my best friend's back yard and looked at the stars when she turned to me and said "Don't ever feel lonely when alone. I am insidde of you, and I'm everything you wish to be. No matter where you go, I'll be in your mind and dreams. I was created by you to cope with your reality, but this reality is yours whenever you want to leave the real world." After a few moments she pointed at all of the stars in the sky and said "All of those stars represent the lives you'll change. You are destined for spreading goodness, and a life of happiness. Don't worry *Real Name*. I'm your inner angel; and we can go anywhere together in this world. After she and I traveled the world, she told me to go to sleep.[/align]

 

 

 

I think I'll use what's left of Harmony (if there is anything) as the foundation in which to build Lillium. Welp, that's all! Wish me luck on my tulpa endeavors! Oh and thanks for your luck Actinium :)

 

 

This is what Yumi looks like, but with red eyes and cat ears:

 

And now she wears dresses like this (She loves poofy dresses) :

 

[Luminesce]

I think 7 is what we'd rate on that scale. When focused, visualization is very clear and real-world-overlay is slightly transparent but basically there. Fully solid for a few seconds at a time, otherwise indefinitely there as transparent overlay. We could've gone further but honestly I got a little bored, I'm more interested in lucid dreaming at the moment.

 

Also Harmony sounds exactly like Reisen, though Reisen has since become more of a tulpa, most of how you described her would've fit Reisen too. I'm fond of attributing the title "angel" to her.

 

Yumi looks cute and honestly close to how I imagined her myself, I can see her personality fitting those pictures. They probably look different to people not used to applying personas to pictures, but I have a lot of practice.

[Cinemaphobe]

@Reisen-cakes

 

We could've gone further but honestly I got a little bored, I'm more interested in lucid dreaming at the moment.

 

As am I.

 

 

Yumi looks cute and honestly close to how I imagined her myself, I can see her personality fitting those pictures. They probably look different to people not used to applying personas to pictures, but I have a lot of practice.

 

Dear God Reisen LOL. Too many Reisens, too little time.

 

I know what you mean about fitting the personality with pictures and vice versa, that's why I posted them :3 Yumi was really flattered by the "Yumi looks cute." comment (and she is hard to flatter because she is rarely serious.)

Yumi already loved you from the start and constantly replays your advice in my mind when I need to be reminded of it most, but now you just gave her more of a reason to idolize you lol. Hopefully she doesn't start intruding into your dreams now... Forgive me if she does.

[Luminesce]

I should mention I've been slowly collecting those pictures I think fit my tulpas since around 2009 so it's not as creepy. Couldn't fit in the rest, but there's also pictures of Tewi and Sylvia (subconscious interface tulpa).

 

And admittedly I'll be a bit mad if Yumi makes it into my dreams before Reisen. My dreams don't really seem to care what I want them to be about.

[Thevious]

Take what you will from

but I think there is something her that may help you, if nothing then it's still a cool song and video lol. Just reminds me of you for some reason.

[Aranhil]

 

 

Yumi and I created a kingdom in the wonderland. The kingdom is in a mountainous region filled with cherry blossom trees and fog. Thousands of bald NPC monks live in the kingdom. There are many locations within the wonderland that serve as places for certain activities to be performed:

 

The Palace: It sits on top of the Great Mountain; the largest mountain of the wonderland. The Palace overlooks the entire city and it's where Yumi and I sleep.

The Cherry Blossom Forest: This is where memories are burnt for campfires, discussed, and cherished. This is also a place for relaxation.

 

The Temple: Where Yumi was created. The Temple is used for any type of tulpaforcing.

 

The Grand Empire Library: Is a place full of bearded NPC scholars. In the library Yumi and I have deep conversations.

 

And finally,

 

The Grand Bar: The bar is located in the center of the kingdom. It serves alcohol and coffee, and the bearded man who was in my lucid dream is now the bartender.

 

 

You must have some really good visualization skills. My wonderland is simply an open field with rolling hills and a small house.

 

Hopefully she doesn't start intruding into your dreams now... Forgive me if she does.

 

Have people actually had dreams about her? That's kinda weird

[Cinemaphobe]

@Reisen-cakes

 

I should mention I've been slowly collecting those pictures I think fit my tulpas since around 2009 so it's not as creepy. Couldn't fit in the rest, but there's also pictures of Tewi and Sylvia (subconscious interface tulpa).

 

I never thought that your Reisen collection was creepy. I actually thought it was pretty nice.

 

And admittedly I'll be a bit mad if Yumi makes it into my dreams before Reisen. My dreams don't really seem to care what I want them to be about.

 

I know how that feels... On a brighter note, if Yumi makes it into your dreams then dismiss your anger and prepare for kisses. She will kiss you like her life depends on it. She always does so with me :3 occasionally.

 

 

@Thevious

 

Take what you will from

but I think there is something her that may help you, if nothing then it's still a cool song and video lol. Just reminds me of you for some reason.

 

This video did not help at all LOL. It actually creeped me out because recently it feels like the universe is playing a sadistic game with me...but it was still a cool song and the video was a masterpiece. I could see how it reminded you of me.

@Aranhil

 

You must have some really good visualization skills. My wonderland is simply an open field with rolling hills and a small house.

 

My visualization skills were bad at first, but now they are almost perfect because of how well my focus has improved. If that isn't inspiration for aspiring wonderlanders, then I don't know what is.

 

Have people actually had dreams about her? That's kinda weird

 

Surprising yes. Actinium was the first one to have a dream about her, however she wasn't actually seen within the dream because guards were in pursuit of her lol.

 

 

 

Day 146

 

 

 

I threw away the last remnant of Mary (her valentine's day mug she gave me) and smiled as I headed to work for my first day at work. I told Yumi "No more women. No more women. Time for peace". She made me laugh in the car because my mom and I were having an argument and Yumi started dancing so adorably in the corner of my eye that my anger disappeared I almost died of cuteness.

She is too cute when it is most inconvenient! hahah!!! Her dance moves are extremely elaborate and surprisingly enough, she makes them up as she goes along.

 

I walked into the restaurant and met the assistant managers. They already liked me, and sent me to work. I washed dishes and thought "No more women, just peace." then I went to the front of the restaurant to give people their pizzas and I noticed an extremely beautiful co-worker of mine. She and I started talking and we instantly clicked. Joke after joke went back and forth between us, and it eventually evolved into flirting. It felt like I had known her for years and the rest of the night was just she and I flirting and laughing at each other giddily for the smallest things. I was washing dishes and she peeked around the corner to look at me, and when I noticed her she smiled and said "How are you dooooing?" I replied with a plain "Gooooooood." then she merrily returned to her job. Later on she told me that the general manager warned every girl at work that I was "Very handsome" and I was as embarrassed as I was flattered because I didn't know that I was handsome. Don't get full of yourself I wouldn't let that happen; EVER.

 

She was being dead serious when she told me about what the manager said about me, and she looked so cute when she said it omg. I thought "This girl might just be of my dreams. I have never gotten along with a female so well and so quickly in my entire life. It would suck if she was only here temporarily."

 

"I'm moving to Georgia in June."

 

As soon as she said that, I could practically hear the divine laughter of the divine comedy I'm apparently the primary victim of. The universe will keep every good girl away from me for one of two reasons:

 

A) To keep me single for life.

B) To bring an absolutely badass and surrealistically perfect girl into my life.

 

Oh well. I'm used to being the universe's little b***. (excuse the language).

I was even thinking about asking her to the Strawberry Festival but I guess I'll have to save that event for Yumi lol. Gee very romantic "Cinema" I didn't mean it in a depressing way Yumi.

 

The restaurant was hit with a rush, and I reacted swiftly to all of the orders in a way that surprised the assistant managers and the co-workers. I overheard the assistant manager telling the general manager over the phone "The new guy is amazing." and later on he offered me a co-manager position.

 

On my first day.

 

LOL

 

After work the girl of my dreams whom I'll never have gave me a hug good bye and now here I am; writing about it like an idiot. I still have yet to talk to Yumi fully about how she feels about this, but while I was taking a bath she said:

You are trotting through dangerous territory

 

At first I thought "Really? Trotting? " but of course I understood what she meant to say. I believe in the old Shakespeare saying "Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." so I want to take this girl to the strawberry festival in a few weeks if things keep going the way they are going. But if things don't work out then maybe I'll meet another cutie in college :3

 

 

BUT IF I MET A CUTIE IN COLLEGE SHE WOULD BE HIT BY A LIGHTNING BOLT THE MOMENT I ASK HER OUT AND THE DIVINE AUDIENCE WOULD GIVE ME A STANDING OVATION WHILE ROARING IN LAUGHTER

 

Oh well. I plan on having a full-fledged discussion with Yumi in the Grand Bar. I'll post the conversation afterwards :) wish me luck on my tulpa-related and untulpa-related matters.

 

P.S: PRAY TO THE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE AND TELL IT TO STOP TORTURING ME WITH WOMEN I'LL NEVER HAVE. THANK YOU.

[TheSanctuary]

Such is the way with the universe - no female interest for 18 years then two of them at the same time - that was my story. Universe is evil and made of punishment and vindictive entertainment at your own expense - though I guess it's like a trial by fire of sorts. Make it through and you can .. Be.. Set on fire some more? .. Hmm that's not quite right .. Um... Eventually find peace and happiness and open your own rainbow mine and discover the joy that is a rainbow! .

..

"I've never seen a rainbow" - vixen.

// made a rainbow in wonderland over the sea //

"What does it do?" - vixen

"It doesn't do anything " - me

"What's it for then?" - vixen

"Nothing.. It's just an optical illusion" - me

"....huh. Thought it would be more interesting.. Meh." - vixen

 

Ehh.. Heheh..

 

Stick with it! Stuff gets better eventually!

[Thevious]

Dang. that's a lot of stuff.But what I was realaeting you with the video was: seems like your running a maze, your advoiding your ex, looking at you "New girl" but she's taken from you when your close Enough to flirt with. And Every thing seems to keep you from her. But then again, you have yum I ^^" any ways just a cool music video lol...