Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[Earthquake]

Little neaguh knows how to write good and stuff, very compelling PR.

[SliceOfBread]

Cinemaphobe is so good at writing his progress report that he made me start working on my tulpa again after ~one year of inactivity. Keep up the good work!

 

Also, lucid dreams within the wonderland? Are you saying that your visualization skills are becoming so great that the wonderland could one day appear as real as if you were in a lucid dream? Because that sounds AWESOME! (and it's one of my long-term goals!)

[Cinemaphobe]

@TheSanctuary

Comment!

 

Ok so I'll put more but I'll have ta be quick as I'm about to start work (In 3 mins!)

 

I find it interesting that you feel you are somehow withdrawing from some social interaction given you seem to attract such numbers to you here - myself included - I don't know what it is about you or your story or maybe it's Yumi but I do find that your PR is the first thing I check every time I visit here- so maybe you just haven't found the right social group? I know a few people who hate pretty much everyone they met in their area because they have nothing in common.. Just a thought.

 

Anyways I'll post a bit more later I guess - work time now XD

 

I withdraw from social interaction because I have had my fair share of it long ago.

 

I think that people find my PR interesting because not only to I include details about my tulpa journey, but I include details about my life and its effects on my tulpa journey. I'm extremely flattered that my PR is the first thing you check though :3

I also try to format my writing to match the hyperactivity of my thoughts to avoid a sluggish TL;DR or a perfect square of text lol.

 

 

 

@Thevious

 

The same with me, I check this thread first think in the morning, and any time in between two mornings....I enjoy reading it ^^"

 

D'aaaawwwwwwwww you guys are too much xD

 

 

@Earthquake

 

Little neaguh knows how to write good and stuff, very compelling PR.

 

XD

 

I always thought that my writing was bad because my train of thought is non-existent and my grammar could use some work! But as long as people like reading it, and I'm not just writing to myself then my tulpa journey shall be a tale told throughout the ages regardless of my writing flaws.

 

 

 

Cinemaphobe is so good at writing his progress report that he made me start working on my tulpa again after ~one year of inactivity. Keep up the good work!

 

This is so god damn heartwarming. I'm glad that I had that impact on you and thank you so much :)

 

Also, lucid dreams within the wonderland? Are you saying that your visualization skills are becoming so great that the wonderland could one day appear as real as if you were in a lucid dream?

 

YES I AM!!!!!! At first my visualizations skills were at the end of the spectrum for as bad as they could possibly get, but now I can almost taste and feel when I am in the wonderland, and I am developing a type of calibration method to make the wonderland perspective more stable and concrete. I'll publish it when I discover it to be beneficial for the people of this site. But until then, wish me luck on creating it!

 

 

Because that sounds AWESOME! (and it's one of my long-term goals!)

 

 

Perhaps I can help you on that long-term goal then :) Feel free to PM me.

I'd say at this point I can help anyone with visualization.

 

 

@Everyone

 

Whether this onslaught of reassurance and kindness was co-ordinated or not; Thank you for it! I was just beginning to doubt the value or purpose of my PR but then you guys swooped in and nipped that little irrational thought in the bud. Thank you for reading, and thank you for your comments :) I have a massive update I have to write soon but my mom wants to use the computer.

 

Wisssshhhh meeee lucccckkk

 

I woke up first thing in the morning to this. Thanks for making my day guys xD

[collin nix]

good job man

[Thevious]

@Cinamaphobe I only wish I had the impact you do ^^" that's why I'm trying to have a more codinated and we'll worded pr ^^"

[Aranhil]

At first my visualizations skills were at the end of the spectrum for as bad as they could possibly get, but now I can almost taste and feel when I am in the wonderland

 

I didn't know that was even possible, I hope I can get to that level someday

[Luminesce]

Oh, very much yes. Visualization is a mental muscle akin to dream recall, though I guess some people think dream recall can't be improved either. In fact, dream recall can go from :no dreams: to multiple dreams every night in as little as a week if you try hard enough to remember them each morning. Visualization is the same, though again difficult and often underdeveloped because it takes a kind of mental effort most will never apply. My visualization went from absolutely nothing to transparent-reality while practicing imposition for a few weeks, and I'm definitely one of those far-end-of-the-spectrum's when it comes to being able to visualize things. Unfortunately those muscles also fade a bit with time, and I've been more interested in dreams recently than visualizations. (Luckily my dream recall is becoming pretty reliable, so I have no regrets)

[TheSanctuary]

Co ordinated? Nah - or at least not from

My side if it was ( conspiracy?). But no problem good sir-

 

Dream recall sounds interesting too - didn't realise that was a thing though I guess I never thought about it much.

[Cinemaphobe]

@collin nix

good job man

 

Thank you good sir.

 

@Thevious

 

@Cinamaphobe I only wish I had the impact you do ^^" that's why I'm trying to have a more codinated and we'll worded pr ^^"

 

I'm not even trying to make an impact lol maybe that's the key to making an impact. I think your PR is just fine by the way!

 

@Aranhil

 

 

I didn't know that was even possible, I hope I can get to that level someday

 

It is possible. My dreams are as real as reality; I can eat, drink, and even feel the satisfaction of having eaten within them.

 

@Reisen-cakes

 

Oh, very much yes. Visualization is a mental muscle akin to dream recall, though I guess some people think dream recall can't be improved either. In fact, dream recall can go from :no dreams: to multiple dreams every night in as little as a week if you try hard enough to remember them each morning.

 

This is very true, and people often underestimate the brain's ability to adapt and adjust.

 

 

Visualization is the same, though again difficult and often underdeveloped because it takes a kind of mental effort most will never apply.

 

A great deal of mental effort.

 

 

@TheSanctuary

 

Co ordinated? Nah - or at least not from

My side if it was ( conspiracy?). But no problem good sir-

I always assume that I am the victim of conspiracies hehehe.

 

Dream recall sounds interesting too - didn't realise that was a thing though I guess I never thought about it much.

 

Yes it is a thing and it drastically improved my dream quality within days.

 

 

Day 149

 

 

For anyone who doesn't know, I have an extremely severe case of adult ADHD. I failed Kindergarten because of it, and a large fraction of every year in Elementary school was spent with Psychologists, and spent in detention due to my inherent hyperactivity. My mom has ADHD as well, and unluckily ADHD is hereditary--which is how I got it. My mom was too poor to afford medication, so she introduced me to coffee in the 5th grade because she knew that coffee improved concentration. I fell in love with coffee after that, but unfortunately it only worsened the hyperactivity, increased my time spent in detention, but also increased my grades when I began middle school. Thankfully I don't view ADHD as a disorder, but rather a different form of cognition.

 

A different form of cognition that has a lot of bad sides.

 

The downfalls of my ADHD are:

 

1. The inability to complete a task correctly ever.

2. Extreme forgetfulness.

3. Constant fidgeting and pacing to the point of people asking me "Are you okay?" or "What are you scared of? Calm down."

4. Easily distracted by small details that absolutely nobody notices.

5. Moments when my mind goes completely blank and one irrelevant detail consumes all of my consciousness.

 

 

If this stuff occurred once every other day, then one could say that I am normal. But it happens every hour of every day.

 

The bright side of ADHD:

 

1. Only being able to concentrate extremely well on things of obsession.

 

Luckily I'm obsessed with my wonderland, and have developed a craving for it.

Why am I disclosing this nearly useless information? Because Yumi and I only speak to each other in the wonderland now. I finally grew tired of my attention span in the real-world and how easily my mind trails off. I feel bad because Yumi misses me when I'm not talking to her, but it just doesn't feel right talking to her when I'm not giving her my undivided attention.

 

On a brighter note,

last night in bed I decided to visit the wonderland as I transitioned into sleep. Yumi talked to me and the more I lost consciousness, the more realistic she became. Her voice was much louder, and she wasn't transparent anymore. My heart raced because of how happy I was to have her presence so strongly, but I still lost focus repeatedly. When my focus returned, I would see Yumi's face inches from mine with a look of pure disgust on it for dozing off in the middle of what she was saying lol. Sometimes she even smacks me back into consciousness LOL. Eventually I fell asleep and had a lucid dream.

 

A failed lucid dream.

 

 

In the lucid dream, I ran down a dark road. I thought "I better check whether this is a lucid dream before I get murdered or arrested." so to check whether I was in a dream, I tested the physics by doing a backflip.

 

I didn't land the backflip--which fucking hurt.

so I concluded that I was awake due to the pain. After that realization, I was transported to a new non-lucid ream. In the dream, somebody told me quite gravely "Do not trust anyone, and always watch your oxygen levels. If you lose your back-up oxygen capsule then you will die within 10 seconds".

 

Suddenly, I was in a spaceship with a prisoner, and we were both running out of oxygen. The prisoner was the girl I was attracted to at work. I had an oxygen tank with 10 minutes of oxygen left and a jet pack that could fly me to another space ship for oxygen refills. However, the prisoner only had 30 seconds of oxygen left in her tank. I began taking apart her oxygen tank to transfer some of my oxygen to hers, and I couldn't breathe during the process. The prisoner then stood up, stole the oxygen capsule from my pocket, and threw it to the floor. I stared in horror, unable to breathe as she also snatched my oxygen tank from me. She then clicked a button on the wall of the space ship and turned to face me. The Earth was behind her, and she gave me a pained glance as she leaped backwards into space without a jetpack, essentially committing a double suicide. Everything went silent after the oxygen was sucked into space, and I checked my pocket to see if there was another oxygen capsule. An oxygen capsule would buy me 30 seconds of time to breathe to find more oxygen supplies, but the capsule I found within my pocket was empty. I stared at it and realized I had 10 seconds left to live. I regretted trusting the prisoner I was in love with. But what wounded me the most was my confusion of why she wanted to kill us both when I could have saved us both.

 

Thoughts of my entire life entered my stream of consciousness during those final seconds and I thought "Damn... This isn't a dream. I'm going to die, and if there is a Hell I'll probably be going there now. This is what I get for trusting another human being." I felt my heart stop beating, and tried to experience the transition into the nothingness of death. Everything went black in the blink of an eye, but I was still conscious. There was no bright light, just darkness. I thought "Is this the afterlife? Just a black void?" and then I woke up. I jumped out of bed and wrote down the dream in my dream journal, and I was so happy that I was alive.

 

 

I later went to the wonderland and Yumi was happy to see me.

she said with a smile and her head propped on both hands You finally visit me after all this tiiiiime :)

What? You want me to talk to you during daytime too?

Well yeah...

 

*Yumi awkwardly sips alcohol*

 

I can't talk to you during daytime because I need my attention to be on other things.

 

*I then looked over Yumi's shoulder and noticed Lillium sitting one bar stool away from Yumi.*

 

Yumi then held Lillium like a baby and poured beer into her mouth.

 

And Lillium drank it like a baby drinks milk from a bottle!!!

 

I snatched the alcohol away and said NOOOOO YUUMI THAT'S NOT RIGHT LOL

After that little act of Yuminosity, I brought Lillium with me in order to work on narrating to her. Throughout the narration she kept giving me surprise hugs which were ADORABLE, and there are times when I swear she is replying to what I'm saying, so I think that she might already be vocal... I'm not sure. I have to talk to Yumi-cakes about it Yay! whenever I get the chance lol. Wish me luck guys :3

 

Oh and I'm running on 0 hours of sleep right now and I have to work in 3 hours. I'm screwed. At least I'll have a good wonderland session with Yumi before bed, and who knows? Maybe I'll have a lucid dream with her! I still have to marry her after all, so she better start pulling strings and making that Lucid dream possible, *hint* *hint* I already did! >:( Damnnn it Yumi, I'm sorry that my dreams are completely identical to reality.

 

 

lol wish me luck guys. Oh and Yumi managed to delete more memories of time spent with Mary thanks to the deterioration of my emotional connection to the memories :) now all Yumi has to do is figure out how she'll pull me into another lucid dream. I have no way to test that I am dreaming though because I can't tell the difference between dreams and reality anymore.

 

WISH ME LUCK

[Luminesce]

I pinch my nose and try to breathe in and out of it, myself. I stumbled upon that reality check by accident, and it turned out to be perfectlyamazing. I didn't expect it to work at all whatsoever the first time I did it in a dream, as it felt pretty dang real at the time, only to be shocked when I felt air go through my nose anyways. Only downside is if you have some sort of sinus problems I guess, but the single-stuffed-nostril thing as never affected it for me.

 

My alternate reality checking method is just to summon Sylvia, my subconscious-interface-tulpa, to freeze the dream. It's one thing to try and fly (or do a backflip), and another to firmly believe in an embodiment-of-your-mind's ability to manifest. I've trained myself to fully believe that she can override anything my brain is doing, so she can literally monochrome-freeze my dreams whether I'm having a nightmare or would just feel rude leaving whatever strange dream situation I was in. The key is to wholeheartedly believe it could be no other way, since the only reason things like backflips don't always work in dreams is that you don't believe they will. So I believe without a doubt that, if I call to her in a dream, Sylvia will manifest and freeze everything. If she doesn't appear then it's not a dream. No exceptions.

 

Speaking of dreams it's 6:30 AM and I'm still up. I'm going to sleep.