Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

[HP]

1: not yet

2: I can't tell the first time he spoke to me yet and but I just accepted it as is when he showed me the wonderland, but I was certainly surprised when he dragged me in to show me the sky.

3: no, I can estimate somewhere between 30-50 hours active, unknown passive and I've only been at it for 11 days.

4: yea, I play music and I've seen I'll visualize Kage playing an instrument or in the wonderland the sky fills up with clouds that act as sporadic as the music.

5: black, 95% of the time it's black.

6: Damn Reisen, just had to do a full analysis for this one didn't you.

[Luminesce]

I take extra credit seriously. Well, I take thoroughly answering every question seriously. Gotta get those non-existent grade points.

[Cinemaphobe]

Day 7

 

Before I start, I have to address my dear readers^^

Thanks for actually answering my questions instead of making me look like a lonely nutcase on my own PR.

 

@Reisen: It's nice to learn a little bit more about your tulpa experiences through your answers! However, I regret to inform you that you only got half-credit on the extra-credit question that I asked, because you gave two answers, and only one of them was correct!

Either you had some unique train of thought that led you to ask that, like "Huh, today I wore a red shirt but I normally wear green. I wonder what color shirts others are wearing"

 

 

 

@HP: Of course I'm glad to hear about your tulpa experiences as well, and you are just like me with the black shirt thing because black is my favorite color. By the way, I regret to inform you that Reisen now has a higher non-existent grade than you because he got half-credit for the extra-credit... :(

 

 

As usual, on with the report...

 

 

I have tulpa forced for a total of 9 hours ever since I started this PR.

today I tulpaforced for 2.3 hours, which is currently the record for the longest session I have been able to maintain.

 

 

Before I tulpaforced, I slept for roughly 3 hours and 26 minutes while listening to brown noise, and I think that Yumi showed up in my dreams... but I was too busy trying to absorb how weird the dream was, so I couldn't become lucid... Oh well, it was a nice sleep. Every day I'm going to document the quality of my sleep with and without brown noise to see if there are any patterns...How tired I am and the quality of my sleep is definitely a factor in all of this...

 

When I woke up, I drank a pot of coffee, and started to tulpaforce, and I did excellent with staying focused on Yumi. I forgot to mention on my PR that everyday for the past few days I have been wearing a watch that strangles my wrist tightly enough to annoy me, but loosely enough not to affect the blood flow to my hand in any way. I absolutely hate the watch, but it reminds me of Yumi every time I want to gnaw it off, so I love it:)

I also wear my class ring, which doesn't fit my skinny ass finger, which annoys me well enough to remember Yumi.

 

I heard one clear, defined word in Yumi's mindvoice today, but before I go into detail, I want to explain what I did today.

 

1. I active forced while sitting in the dark while listening to brown noise for 1 hour.

2. I active forced while walking outside in a sketchy ass forest for 1 hour.

3. I returned to my room to listen to Yumi for a few minutes to conclude my session.

 

When I walked with Yumi through the dark ass forest, I walked slowly so that I could practice solely on Yumi's presence while being bombarded by external stimuli from my surroundings. After all, I have to be able to focus on Yumi under any circumstance so that I can talk to her, well...under any circumstance. Every time I lost focus of Yumi beside me, I would turn on my heel, apologize to her, and then walk in the opposite direction of where I was supposed to go. Eventually, my pacing stopped, and my focus on her presence beside me improved. While walking, I would stop, and start to do a weird dance, but while I did the weird dance I would imagine Yumi mirroring my sick dance moves. They weren't sick dance moves.

 

While walking, I would occasionally sit down and start a special form of narration that I'll call Stream of Consciousness, and yes I named it that after the literary technique that I learned in high school. What I basically did, was countdown from ten, and then as soon as I finished counting down, I would say every single thought aloud No matter how trivial and directed all of it towards Yumi. I was rambling, but the rambling was so pure and uninterrupted that it made for some high-quality narrating about things that I was too lazy to vocalize.

 

Later on, I saw a black thing walking towards me in the darkness, so I got the hell out of the forest^^. But later on, I realized that it was my cat^^ so I introduced Yumi to her, because after all, she has cat-ears as well.

After that, I went to my room for less than 30 minutes, and went to my wonderland. However, I added a new room! I call it,

 

The Listening Room.

 

 

The listening room is a meeting room with a long mahogany table, surrounded by GIGANTIC amplifiers that stood as tall as the walls of the room. I walked up to Yumi at her end of the meeting table and gave her a mic. After that, I went to a control panel and set the volume of the amplifiers to the highest setting. The microphone was so sensitive that even the ambiance of the room was picked up by it. I then told Yumi to speak into the mic, so that I could hear her, and I motivated her to try her best. A few moments passed, and then I created a thousand Yumi's in the meeting room, all crammed together, and told Yumi to say something. I knew that all of the Yumi's would speak at once, and eventually after a short while, they did.

 

I heard Yumi say this very clearly in her mindvoice:

"Ear."

 

 

I then flipped out, asked her if she had anything else to say (I think that she said "ear" again after that) and then I ended the tulpaforcing session! Everyday I have to achieve a milestone, or else I will never end my tulpaforcing sessions! And today, I did exactly that:)

 

 

Putting emphasis on the word ass in "dark ass forest." makes you think of an ass-themed forest right? Oh only I think that? Oh...

[Guest amber5885]

Congrats on the progress. I would like to warn you though, no matter how much you force some days you may not see progress.

 

It's not that you're doing anything wrong but everyone needs a break, even tulpas. Sometimes they go from totally vocal to nearly absent for a few days and sometimes they'll be with you but they choose to stay quiet,

 

I just don't want you toget discouraged if it happens. I did the first time it happened, Toby went quiet for nearly week but when he started talking again I could tell he had evolved some... I guess is the right word. But being without him kind of sucked.

 

Anywho you're doing great, just wanted to give you the heads up so that of it does happen you don't get upset or think you failed.

---

Toby: if you expect her to learn something or make progress everyday you could make her neurotic. Just go into it with the intent of enjoying your time with her and she WILL grow and progress but all in all the progress doesn't matter.

 

I couldn't care less of amber and I learn even a quarter of the crap she wants to do I just like that she takes time out of her day for me and I promise Yumi feels the same way about you.

 

(that's his two cents)

[Luminesce]

I slept for roughly 3 hours and 26 minutes while listening to brown noise

Can't tell if you meant like a nap or if that was your sleep for the day. I don't know much about fasting or sitting in the dark for days at a time, but I'm sort of a sleep expert. I'm not even going to bother going into details - that's not enough to maintain a healthy psyche. Like.. there are no excuses. 6 hours minimum unless you get more than 8 hours a day or two later.

 

 

Sorry, still grumpy about the half credit

 

[Cinemaphobe]

Congrats on the progress. I would like to warn you though, no matter how much you force some days you may not see progress.

 

It's not that you're doing anything wrong but everyone needs a break, even tulpas. Sometimes they go from totally vocal to nearly absent for a few days and sometimes they'll be with you but they choose to stay quiet,

 

I just don't want you toget discouraged if it happens. I did the first time it happened, Toby went quiet for nearly week but when he started talking again I could tell he had evolved some... I guess is the right word. But being without him kind of sucked.

 

Anywho you're doing great, just wanted to give you the heads up so that of it does happen you don't get upset or think you failed.

---

Toby: if you expect her to learn something or make progress everyday you could make her neurotic. Just go into it with the intent of enjoying your time with her and she WILL grow and progress but all in all the progress doesn't matter.

 

I couldn't care less of amber and I learn even a quarter of the crap she wants to do I just like that she takes time out of her day for me and I promise Yumi feels the same way about you.

 

(that's his two cents)

 

Thanks for your input! It's a good thing that you reminded me about how tulpae need breaks, because I almost completely forgot...I have a tendency to not think ahead when I become excited...It's one of my flaws in chess...I can't thank you enough for the heads up though^^, I appreciate Toby too!

 

Can't tell if you meant like a nap or if that was your sleep for the day. I don't know much about fasting or sitting in the dark for days at a time, but I'm sort of a sleep expert. I'm not even going to bother going into details - that's not enough to maintain a healthy psyche. Like.. there are no excuses. 6 hours minimum unless you get more than 8 hours a day or two later.

 

Sorry, still grumpy about the half credit

 

 

Thank you for your concern, and I kind of expected you to ask that lol.

I honestly don't know whether I was taking a nap or not. I just went to sleep with the intent to sleep, had my usual trippy assortment of dreams, and then woke up 3 hours and 26 minutes later well-rested, which confuses me because I stayed up for 24 hours prior to sleeping for 3 hours and 26 minutes. My sleep fluctuates between 3 hours and 12 hours, because before I started my PR, I used to do what I call dream binging, which was my practice of staying in the dreamworld all day long because I hated my life. Prolonged dream binging completely threw off my biological clock, so now I never know how long I'll sleep, or when I'll feel drowsy, and I have missed many social occasions because of this.

 

You are probably wondering: "If you used to sleep binge, then why is your sleeping schedule still screwed up?" I stay up all night every night staring at screens that give my brain the illusion of sunlight, while drinking coffee at ungodly hours, while sleeping for ungodly amounts of time. A rational person, like you or amber would say something like "Be responsible, stop drinking coffee, and go to bed at responsible times." I know because the rational side of me has told me that many times.

 

But things like that are much easier said than done. I am virtually aware of all of the effects of sleep deprivation, trust me, I just don't have the willpower to fix the problem because I view time sleeping as time that I could have spent studying, or reading, or living. Once again, this is yet another unhealthy thought that I harbor, but I can't help it because it is something of a bad philosophy rather than a psychological error that can simply be fixed. Give me a therapist, medication, and a healthy sleep cycle, and I'd abandon it within seconds for the opportunity to spend more time awake. After all, the average human spends 25 years of their life sleeping, which is one-third of their life span. Obsessing over death is something I have done ever since I learned about death. Lol I'll never forget the day I learned about it. It was a beautiful day, the sun was setting, and my much younger self thought that life lasted forever, and then when I got home my mom told me: "One day, you'll die, and then there is nothing else. Some people believe that you go somewhere when you die, but that's up to you to decide."

I still haven't coped with death.

 

Now you may be thinking that you should say something along the lines of "Don't fear death, but enjoy the time that you are alive with open arms so that you can live a physically and psychologically healthy life."

I'll pass.

 

Everyone has their fatal flaw, but this is like my fatal quirk. I would only change my sleeping schedule if it put Yumi in danger, or if it put my social life in danger, and I never stay awake for over 24 hours and I never ignore drowsiness when I actually do feel it. I'll have to get my sleeping schedule back on check if I get hired for the job that I applied for yesterday though...shit...

 

 

Well I'll fall asleep soon, for god knows how long.

 

 

Your non-existent grade in my class is 101% so don't feel too grumpy lol

[sushi]

Putting emphasis on the word ass in "dark ass forest." makes you think of an ass-themed forest right? Oh only I think that? Oh...

 

Yeah, only you.

[Cinemaphobe]

XD LOL

[Luminesce]

Sleeping schedules are really easy to change in my opinion. I used to sleep ~3 hours a day because I was depressed and didn't want to wake up, so I didn't sleep. Then on the weekends(and days I missed school) I'd sleep for ~13-15. Your brain doesn't really care as long as you get the REM sleep in the week somewhere. Currently (college schedule) I sleep 7 hours a day on weekdays and 12 on weekends. Polyphasic sleeping is where you train yourself to take quick naps periodically instead of sleeping all at once, and it actually becomes really efficient and you end up getting the same amount of REM sleep in a fraction of the average sleep time. Too bad it would require taking naps in the middle of school for me.

 

Anyway. Interesting that you know about the screen/sunlight effect and not Flux. https://justgetflux.com/ Put simply, it takes some blue light out of your screen after sunset to not kill your melatonin when you're up late. It's configurable, disable-able and you can use a different timezone if you'd prefer it to start, say, five hours after sunset instead.

 

As for death... Meh. It doesn't concern me. I don't do stupid stuff and generally live healthily. Obviously you don't try very hard to live healthily, so I don't see your problem - you obsess about death, but not about preventing it? What, you just like getting all upset about the concept you'll die some day? That's pretty pointless..

 

Here's some advice to live by: "If you're worried about something, figure out what you can do to help it. If you can't help it, forget it. Anything else you wish you could change but are too lazy/unsure to do so, either figure it out or forget it. No exceptions."

 

Of course, not everything can be dealt with immediately, so do what you can now, plan what you can now, and then stop worrying until it's necessary again. Applied to death.. Well, odds are you'll make your life overall worse than better by constantly worrying about it. What's the point in living if you don't even enjoy it? Make it enjoyable, whatever it takes.

[HP]

Didn't know about polyphasic sleep, but I've been doing it for about a year, on a day I work I tend to sleep about 4 hours at home and 3 half hour rest at work all achieve rem sleep. Thanks for that, Reisen.

 

Also Reisen, thank you for the flux tag. I really like it.

 

As for death, I personally have no intention of dying. I hope that before my time comes we as a species have developed surrogate bodies that I might live forever. I was lucky enough to be blessed with one of those perfect metabolisms that lets me eat just about as much food as I want and any foods I want. On my my junior year of high school i was 6" 150 lbs now I'm 6'1" 160 lbs. As such I don't bother concentrating on health and prefer to enjoy my life, besides I work stock for a store and get enough exercise out of that.