Sock May 29, 2012 Share May 29, 2012 UPDATE: 03.09.2015 - Changed the name of this thread, as it occured to me that, for many people, psychosis is not a charming thing, and it could possibly be offensive to them. UPDATE: 03.01.2015 Hello reader; my name is Sock, and this is my log, detailing my experiences with having indwellers. I have had my inner friend/daughter, Midori, for about two years now; she is my original experimental buddy, and the one whom I will describe in this post. Though our relationship has had it's ups and downs, I can confidently say I like her, and she likes me, and we don't plan on parting anytime soon. There are others, too, but I will introduce them as I go along, rather than dumping everything on you guys in one go. General info about Midori... Midori is a young girl, at about 4.3 ft tall. She has short, bright red hair, along with a purple flower in it as an acessory. Her face is round, and it's shape is vaguely remniscent of a heart, her skin is a beige color, and she has freckles dotting her cheeks. Her eyes are round, and are bright orange in color. Her ears are small, yet are pointed, similar in fashion to an elf, and she has a button nose. Her body thin, though not outright scrawny, and her features are rounded and soft. Midori is based on an old set of drawings I did a few years back, a nameless little fairy that I became infatuated with. I chose the name “Midori” because when I was making her, she wore a green dress; she still wears a green dress, with a yellow t-shirt underneath it. I later found out that she wanted to be named “Marie”, but I we both got used to calling her Midori, so it stuck. Over the years, she changed her form multiple times; at one point she was black with short hair and an ahoge, at another point she was a pale skinned waif with long, bubblegum pink hair, and at another, she was a much more down-to-earth looking white girl with brown hair. Even through all these changes, it was easy to tell it was her. Her personality is very happy-go-lucky, I often see her with a big smile, and she recovers from set-backs and emotional falls quickly. It's difficult to keep her down, though this is not to say she's never gets sad, or feels anything negative. She's also very forgiving, and is willing to overlook things that have hurt her in the past. She loves her fellow headmates, considering them her sisters, and regularly encourages me to take good care of them. She loves to hug, cuddle, and be affectionate, and was so to an exteme when she was first born. She's still highly affectionate now, and I really do not mind it as much as I used to, accepting and reciprocating it to a proper degree. She is very kind and sweet toward others, and when she is put into a public forum like an IRC, she is more than happy to share things and socialize. There's still a lot I feel I can learn about Midori in particular, as well as others in my head, and I intend to use this log for that purpose. I want to learn as much about this phenomenon as I can, how it behaves, why it behaves, and how it can be used to improve and enrich life. The emotional support is already a given, but I believe there is more things to it than that. One thing I do not intend to explore is possession, which I am leery of for personal reasons. ---- Original Initial log post: Like everyone else in this particular section of the forum, I am currently in the middle of creating a Tulpa. Unfortunately for those interested, I did not start a tumblr or dedicated blog for this process, nor did I keep much of a log when I started at the beginning of May. But, since I have a strong urge to share my story with the rest of you folks, adding to the growing accounts of sentient thought forms around here, I started this thread. My tulpa, currently named "Midori", though I'm likely going to change it in the face of a recent and quite large deviation, is a fairy based on a set of drawings I did around 2007-2008. Although it's been a rather long time since I've drawn this character, I was quite attached to her and found the amount of expression and actions she had quite charming, so when I finally decided to go through the tulpa creation process, I chose her for it. As for why I started making one in the first place, it was mostly out of curiosity and a bit of wonder. I stumbled upon the concept on accident, and was immediately intrigued when I read more into it. Not so much for the companionship or making my "waifu", but the pure surprise that the human mind could do something like that. No drugs, no magic, just an exercise of pure meditation and self suggestion. Of course, part of my was quite skeptical about the whole thing, who wouldn't really. But, the process laid out seemed rather simple, and while it takes tons of time, it can be spread out as to not really get in the way of one's normal day's tasks. As such, I decided to use myself as a test subject, and try and see if this tulpa thing actually came to anything. When I started, my creation process was quite slow and shoddy, to say the least. I'd often spend more time reading the guides than actually creating the thought form, and I regularly skipped days just out of pure forgetfulness. Not to mention that I started with the form rather than the personality, which seems to be a bit of a no-no in both of the common guides. It took me a week to actually get the process going, and even then I had to contend with a tidal wave of intrusive thought. In spite of all this, I believe that my tulpa is really starting to bloom. Because of my previous tendency to forget to sit down and do a proper session of tulpa creation, I began to narrate much more to my tulpa, often talking about nothing out loud when no one was around, and speaking in my head when someone was. As I did this, I also began to do much more meditation before actually jumping into designing my thought form, so my mind was more clear and I wouldn't have as much trouble with intrusive thoughts. As I did these things, I felt that my tulpa was responding more in kind. I'd normally get headaches whenever I had a session with my tulpa, but as I spent more time per day with her, may it be through narration or personality definition; the pressure not only increased in it's volume, but they would often come when I did certain things. Like, for example, going on the IRC recently often earns me a numb, tingly pressure in the right part of my brain. As well, when I told her that I would have a personality session with her today at a certain time, I began to feel strong pressure when that time came. This was a very pleasant surprise, but there were other bits of oddities that I've noticed recently. She has deviated twice after I've started working on her, the first time she added a dress, as I was visualizing her naked since I wanted to be able to change her clothing. But just this morning, when I was meditating and was about to have a personality session with her, she deviated massively, changing her body from the characters I originally based her on, to another one you can find in the same link above (the one with brown skin and a blue dress). I was quite excited at this turn of events, and that fact that any attempt to change her to the original design was met with her snapping back to the one she's wearing currently filled me with utter and complete glee. Though I'm not sure if this means she's going to talk soon, but I feel that she's at least getting closer to sentience. As this is a log, I will add more things as the days go by. When she does finally speak, and speak consistently, I will ask her a few questions and see how she responds. Sock Cottonwell's Sketchbook, Journal, and Ask thread. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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