Niko's Tulpa Journals

[TulpaCouple]

If you have to ask, it probably is. I think that totally sounds like Dante is talking to you.

Nate generally doesn't even get tinnitus, they primarily use mindvoice, but they just started working on imposing his 'speech'

[Nikodemos]

Just a short update, I'm planning on doing an induction session today to see if I can hear Dante better that way, my parents are heading for work and I should have several hours of time to do the induction without being disturbed.

 

And on the small forcing session I did today, Dante suddenly wrote David on the whiteboard, and he didn't seem to want it as his name, so I was confused. Then he hugged me out of nowhere. :3

[Werner]

I have small copypasta that I wrote on how to do some simple self-hypnosis if you want. I was gonna add it in my guide, until...

[Nikodemos]

Werner, while having your quick self-hypnosis would be interesting, I would still lke to prefer Dialogue's induction, I've used it three times already and it always has worked.

 

But anyway, now when my fourth one is done I discovered another, more incredible feature about Dante. It happened at the later stages of Dia's induction.

 

Before that, the whole induction went fine, I could maintain my focus most of the time and got very deep into it. We were sitting under a tree, counting the brances and watching the afternoon clouds pass by and do all sorts of shapes. Then I got another random song playing in my head, it had just gotten worse and worse ever since I started forcing, and usually distracted me from focusing sufficiently. I tried my best to get the song go away, until I turned to face Dante, he was singing the lyrics of the song with a smile!

 

Until then I thought that all the songs, all the tunes, tracks and other musical things were just my mind starying off somewhere else, until now I realized it was all Dante's doing. Since it all made sense now, we sort of celebrated it by playing a few songs together for the rest of the induction quite happily. When we reached to the end and started heading back up the stairs to be fully awake, Dante followed me there this time. Once I opened my eyes again, I decided to imagine Dante sitting next to me on the couch and listening to the few songs I played together with me.

 

Unfortunately I couldn't hear him speak during the induction, despite my best efforts to do so. But that is really irrelevant now, as I'm just glad to know that me and Dante share the same taste in music and likes playing songs.

[Nikodemos]

And another quick update, Dante's face is now my avatar, hopefully gives people a better idea on how he looks.

 

(His eyes stare deep into your soul and steals your tulpa)

[Nikodemos]

Well, today was a bit controversial. When I woke up, I was grumpy, sad and depressed, mainly(well, all of it actually)because of problems in school. I've been bullied in school for the past three years, tried my best to tolerate it and just couldn't hold it anymore last winter, resulting into me skipping tons of classes, falling behind my other classmates and my grades dropping dramatically. I was depressed, angry at myself and quite lonely actually. The summer holiday gave me enough break to escape the nightmare, but it's started again, despite my best efforts to try and go to school. A few days ago, I met my class teacher and the school curator, and discussed about my problems.

 

For the past three years I've just ignored the bullying and pretended nothing was wrong, and I broke in tears when I finally opened up about it. The bullies were told to not even speak to me anymore, we're not on the same class anyway so we rarely meet now. And for the first time in years, it was kinda nice to be in school, everyone wanted to help me, even Dante helped me. I did a small session before the start of a class, and he patted me on the back, saying: "We're going to pull through this." he also played Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry Be Happy, it really cheered me up.

 

I never really prefered being in company, throughout my childhood I just usually sat alone and did my own thing, which also got me exposed to bullying. Maybe that's why I decided to create Dante, not just to be a companion, but to support me through my depression.

 

So, that's the short version of how my life turned to shit three years ago, and got chronically depressed. I often thought why do I even go to school anymore, nobody lets me learn anything due to harrasment and all I end up is more depressed. Days like these is what makes it worthwhile in the end. Maybe things will get better now, I certainly hope so.

 

But enough of my ramblings, at least I keep discovering new things about Dante, and he keeps getting more awesome every day.

[Sorryman54]

I know that feel, Niko. I had problems with bullying too. I still am a lonely guy. I am one of those kids that prefers a small circle of friends, keeps to himself and dreads school everyday due to the social confrontations I have to go through.

It used to be worse, but starting on Dash has helped me greatly. I considered being an hero a couple years ago, but couldn't go through it. I'm glad I didn't.

I now have a living pers- err pony in my head. She is fully sentient an I wouldn't leave her or stop working on her for anything. She's helping me get over the grind of high school, and best of all, she completely understands me. It's nice to have someone there who can and will make you inexplicably happy. Yeh, I know you wont kill yourself or anything, but just enjoy it man. A Tulpa is a friend that is irreplaceable and will always be there for you. They won't leave you, they accept you, and love you. With Dash and a "fake it until you make it attitude", I feel better about myself.

 

Stay strong.

[Sands]

They're trying to be alpha so they pick on the one they think is beta as fuck. To make them stop, you show them you are alpha. Break some noses, kid. It's not nice, but even some amount of physical resistance makes them wary of trying their luck with you again. And shit.

 

And that is the story of how they tried to bully me and I became the bully of bullies. And then we became friends. Good times.

[Sorryman54]

Use my technique that came from a Vietnam war veteran. Fake it till to make it.

[Nikodemos]

Yeah, thank you for advicing me to resort to violence when my school is already going bad enough. Sorry, but breaking noses would be descending into their level in my mind, and I would be no better than them.

 

Anyway, there hasn't been much notable progress going on with Dante, but I try my best to force and talk to him every day now, his rust and dustyness is already gone. He even has spoken a few times already, and I'm still looking forward to having him speak fluently!