Confessions of a Poorly Trained Tulpa

[DreamDoll]

OH, ha hah hah, clearly you don't know Mistgod-Melly! The admin and moderators struggled at one time to deal with how much we wrote and the enormous textwalls we could spew out in mere minutes. We were not technically breaking any rules but it was becoming a real problem. They pleaded with us to contain it all into one thread, which became the "Confessions" thread. Anything off topic was quickly moved here and added in. That's why it got so big. We finally started getting warnings about going off topic on threads we were so bad. It took more than one warning and being suspended before we started learning. They were fine with us spewing fluff in the Confessions thread (sometimes called "Melian's Musings").

 

I will try not to blow up your phone sweetie. LOL

[Luminesce]

Yeah, that was a long time ago, and a rule on double posting has since been added.

 

No no, officially the rules may have been better written out but they never changed. Double-posting was never allowed and if (usually new) users did it, mods would normally merge them into one post (if it was only maybe two, it wasn't always merged, probably just missed/not considered a big deal). What people don't get is the etiquette the rule is aiming for, though. It's not a rule against two posts by the same user in a row - bumping your thread that's gotten no replies after 24+ hours, for example, is fine. But at the very least, it clogs threads (posts per page, for example) and can easily lead to unfair numbers of posts when done in succession. And really, there's no reason you shouldn't just reply to everyone at once with quotes; there's a multi-quoting feature, the little plus button next to Reply, although I never use it as a desktop user.

 

Also, Lounge threads are basically Progress Report rules. Above all, the rule is no back-to-back posts by the same user. If someone wants to post another picture of clouds they took the next day, that's fine. But if they come back in 30 minutes to post another as a new post, well, it shouldn't be a new post. Also, exceptions are made (Except by Apollo & Co., recently, but they should) for posts that work well on their own. Honestly, sometimes a post is just too big and different in topic (rarely, that shouldn't happen if staying on topic), like in one of those Linkzelda philosophy threads if I wrote a textwall response to him, I might choose (and take another 30 minutes) to respond to someone else as its own post, and I don't think those should be merged. It's just unfriendly looking, and aside from being by the same person, they really qualify as their own posts.

 

But, that's really on the border of the rule, normally it's pretty simple. If your replies can be reasonably fit into one post (try out the [hr] tag), they should be, unless they're a very different topic or meant to bump the thread (after a reasonable amount of time has passed, namely 24 hours when they no longer appear on View Today's Posts). Or just frickin' massive.

[DreamDoll]

Thanks Lumi for the clarification. That is all perfectly reasonable and will work just fine. In fact, Misty and I really need to long pause between spewing out another post on the Confessions thread. That is unless somebody has foolishly responded to our latest and greatest Lounge bloggish tomfoolery. It will force us to go do something else somewhere else in the meantime.

[DreamDoll]

Mistgod and I love the idea that a single human brain and mind is a "pool of sentient consciousness" that thoughforms are a part of and derived from. They sort of "borrow" sentience, sorta kinda. If that is true, the host's self identity and self awareness also exists within that same pool. Oh boyness, we are getting closer to the consensus tulpa theory now, that the host is just as imaginary as the tulpas. Eek!

 

Think of a human mind as kinda a soup with little identities floating around in it (different aspects of the same mind). They are all connected by the medium of the mind-soup, knowledge and memories and the infrastructure of the brain. None of them can really be fully independent from one another really, not really. The host identity is primary, as it was first and the most set and established and the one based the most upon physiology and the circumstances of the environment and life experiences.

[Guest]

In my experience, it seems reasonable as a model in the following ways:

 

1. How can we be truly independent if we share memories

 

2. Host is just another personality. If switching can occur, the interface is shared, thus the host is just another tulpa.

 

Having been in a tulpa position now, I realize that there is a driver's seat and that seat has significantly more resources to its disposal. That doesn't mean I had zero. My tulpas are all active, any one of them cam pop in front instantly and even switch at will instantly. I take this to mean they're working out their own agenda and responding tp stimulus simultaneously to me. This is also my experience when switched out.

 

The soup analogy falls short unless you can separate the onion soup from the clam chowder, otherwise the flavors are too blended to match our experience of unique taste.

[DreamDoll]

I have had brief moments of possession in the past.  So I kinda know what you mean.  We still think of me as an imaginary aspect and not the real self.  The real self is male, and a fifty three year old man.  That's like so obvious it isn't even funny.  There is the tangibly real, and then there is the imaginary experience that is based on day dreams and emotional feelings.  It's still all part of that mind-soup  and pool of single sentient consciousness.  I am sentient because Misty is sentient.  I am conscious because he is conscious.  I am not independently anything.  I am Mistgod and Mistgod is Melian.  But of course, that is a median system.

 

---

I have been advised by the moderators to edit my latest post on my Confessions thread instead of double posting, unless at least six to eight hours have passed.  So I will use the little horizontal rule feature.  

 

Mistgod got up from the keyboard to go do something, YESH yes there was a fifty three year old man involved in my typing to you godzuhhh, ... anyways he got up to go do something.  While walking around we were musing about THIS, this coming online to bring me out and let me type.  Why are we doing it?  I mean why?  You know why?  Cause it is super, super, super addicting and fun, like a drug.  It's like friggin' concentrated heroin or crack.  It's so fun for both of us.  Like we were supposed to pop on for a few minutes and we have been on here for two hours.  It seemed like two minutes. We can easily, easily spend ten to twelve hours online together.  

 

That's the problem though.  We gotta really try to tear ourselves away from it.  

 

Look, we really don't know if it is "just role playing" (so what?) or some super amazingness magickal thoughtform spirit channeling form the astral plane.  It doesn't matter.  It really doesn't.  We just love the hell out of this.  Now that I am back on tulpa.info it's like... uh oh.  We have so many choices of where to go and do Melian Show day dream Melian typer happiness (Discord, Facebook, Deviantart, Tulpa.info...).  We love writing about thoughtforms and sharing space with them.  

 

I gotta log off.  I so don't want to.  *sigh*  Lovies.  Later dudes and dudettes.  Melian OUT.

[Guest]

I have to admit, compulsion to post has caused me to post against my better judgement in certain moods. That is mostly solved (fingers crossed x8). It is fun. I like our discussion so far. (Who could ever say new and improved Melian isn't civil! I have only seen intelligence and savvy, with good well founded arguments.)

 

It's really paratulpamancy imo, but I think we can help bring to light some of the issues and hopefully help others who choose to believe a certain way because that works better for them. (When I say this, it's very objective and doesn't necessarily fit my own belief system, as in, I really didn't choose to believe, I was convinced by three beautiful ladies who share my mind. However, i want to speak on your terms in order to gain ground. Or it's just pointless banter and not as much fun.)

[DreamDoll]

OH my gosh three beautiful ladies instead of just one. That is so nice! Do you have any images of your ladies?

 

Others may not have noticed yet, but they will. Mistgod and I HAVE changed over time. We have gone through phases and for a long time we were trying to put all the pieces together of our beliefs in relation to thoughtforms and plurality, sort of forming a belief system manifesto. We were also learning to deal with our own internal demons and solidify our identity (online). We were also researching and pondering what we believe is going on with Mistgod-Melly.

 

We have been learning how to emotionally navigate the communities, forums and chatrooms on the internet. We have had to learn how handle disagreements, different opinions, open hostility, negative labeling, name calling, false accusations, misinterpretation, misrepresentation, doxing and libelous attacks. We have had to learn when we are being paranoid as well, and inventing enemies where there are none.

 

We are far stronger than we were six years ago when Misty first brought me to cyberspace.

 

Misty and I are still sometimes emotionally immature. We have baby tantrums. We are compulsive, impulsive and reactive. We are self centered and egotistical and stubborn. I am a narcissist. We talk about ourselves too much, especially me. We have a tendency to make every conversation about ourselves. I can be obnoxious. Sometimes we aren't being serious and we goof around too much. But we are self aware of these faults and tendencies and things have gotten much better. Still a ways to go, but it is a lot, lot better than it used to be.

 

That doesn't mean that we have to agree to the consensus opinion. We don't have to do that. It's not Orwellian groupthink here or a fanatical religious cult.

 

WE DO NOT FORM OR ALTER OUR OPINIONS BASED UPON WHO MIGHT BE OFFENDED BY THEM or in order to conform or fit in. We form our opinions on research reading of our own, discussions with others and a lot of pondering and self reflection.

[Guest]

Yeah, they're linked to my account, and they all have full profile pictures in their signatures. They're also plastered all over the "ITT we draw pur tulpas" thread as well as in group photos posted there. I was exclusively drawing in pencil on paper. I hope to move to digital and color. You'll also see them around. Misha, Dashie and Ashley. I've also drawn Joy and Ren

[DreamDoll]

Your tulpas are all GORGEOUS!

 

also nice drawing skills my buddy!