Raetin's Tulpa Progress

[Raetin]

While washing dishes and narrating to Reah about random stuff, I started feeling a chilly feeling on my back and I still kinda feel it right now. There was also some pressure in my chest and a little in my head. I never feel like this except in scary and creepy situations, like hearing something fall or bump in the house when I'm by myself, which were years ago. Not sure if this is her or not, but I think it's something to take note of.

[Raetin]

Well, now this is day 5, and just did another 30 minute session with more traits again. I felt some chills and slight pressure, though not very noticeable unless your paying attention, in the head. Even though I only have 2 hours 30 minutes, I'm also, like I said before, narrating through the whole day.

 

I might start visualizing soon, not sure.

[Raetin]

Well, I just did my first visualization session for 30 minutes and it's much harder than I thought. The proportions were all over the place, a lot of the time, I had to go from the toe to the head because things weren't matching up. I also had to open my eyes sometime to look at a image I was using to visualize. Half the forcing session, I accidentally kept giving her bedroom eyes.

 

Things became easier though, the problems started to appear less, so the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I'm still working on personality, just wanted to start on this.

[Raetin]

Well, just did an hour of forcing. I did 30 minutes of personality and 30 minutes of visualization. With the personality, I got more traits done, probably going to do a few more hours of personality, then I'll be done with that.

 

The visualization became better, but things were still hectic. I was able to visualize Reah's form, but some crazy stuff were happening. I started a wonderland for her to stay in when not forcing her. I did a lot of puppeting, which I was trying not to do. Her face changed into this one super ugly looking guy (deviation?) but I changed it back. Another thing that happened was while I was working on her form, a clone of her formed to my right. I then fused them together to get one again. Hopefully, things become more stable as time goes on.

[Raetin]

Well, things are becoming pretty interesting. This is day 7 and had 30 minutes of personality, then 30 minutes of listening to music with Reah while narrating, and 15 minutes on form, having a total of 1 hour and 15 minutes.

 

I finished going over all the traits, but I'm going to continue working on them anyway. With the listening to music with Reah, I think I got a lot of emotional responses from her, since I never felt what I was feeling while listening to music. I made sure to feel her presence while listening to the songs. I felt like I was being covered with emotions. Later during the day, while narrating, I felt some head pressures as though she was listening to what I was saying.

 

I feel the reason people are taking so long, is because they doubt these feelings. If your not sure if it was you or your tulpa, just assume its your tulpa, it makes things much easier, you have to have faith, as Sock said in his progress report.

 

Another thing, visualization is getting easier, things are becoming much more stable. Her form is starting to stop changing in proportions, which is good. I believe I may be puppeting a little, since she reacts to everything I say. The reason I have doubts with this is because this was how it was during the first visualization session, except much more random.

[Raetin]

This is day 8, past a week now.

 

I finished all of my traits from the last session, so now I'm just reviewing and reinforcing the main traits, which are Affectionate, Intelligent, Sweet (I want a cute tulpa like Midori :P), Open-minded, and Ambitious. Instead of explaining these traits, which I have been doing, I'm starting to visualize them as orbs with color and putting it inside Reah. I worked on this for 15 minutes. I also narrate constantly and I'm getting stronger emotional responses, Wooh!

 

Visualization session was pretty interesting. I still suck at it, but things have finally calmed down. I have a wonderland on a beach with a pink house against a cliff side. I have a table and two chairs on the beach too. I decided to form organs inside her; I put in lungs, a heart, and a brain. Also a skeletal structure, kind of. After I did this, she became limp and emotionless, though she still had some life in her. I guess I've been puppeting her during early visualization, but no problem. Visualization is going fine, but the hardest part to visualize is the face, particularly the nose. I just can't get it right, and when I do, it changes again. Anyway, did a total of 30 minutes.

[Raetin]

Day 9.

 

Well I did a 30 minute session with Reah today. Before this I asked her a couple of questions with head pressure.

 

Anyway during the visualization, some random things started happening. It makes me wonder how you people can keep the body stabilized. I mean her head started shaking wildly in uncontrollable speeds and her face became a blur, like those scary movies. When visualizing her legs only, they'd become really little and it was hard to make them normal again. I think I also have massive puppeting problems, since she keeps doing random stuff, like having a scary face, happy face, psycho looking face, etc. I guess the good thing that happened is my visualization skills are really improving, like how the colors are starting to stand out more, it actually happened randomly, and I was like "oh shit, I didn't know I can visualize this good."

 

Well, she's definitely sentient, but I don't know if she has control of her body. If she does, I really need to work on not controlling her, I mean, if I were to start visualizing a random character in my head, I usually see them doing things, not just standing there looking pretty. If anyone can give some advice, please do.

[Raetin]

Day 10

 

I did 2 sessions of visualization which was a total of one hour. The first session was pretty normal, hard to use that super visualization I talked about in my previous post since it takes a whole lot of concentration. After the first session, I told her if she could help with her form, maybe just keep her form right. Well the second session, she actually changed a lot less, so that was good and also added to her clothing. She still has the same under wear, but has a transparent white dress over it. I still think I suck at visualization though, because plenty of random things keep happening. One thing I have to work on is not puppeting her.

 

A total of 7.5 hours of forcing now.

[Raetin]

Day 11

 

Only did a 30 minute session today on visualization with a bit of personality. Nothing much happened but better control on not puppeting (I still kind of puppet) and less random things. While narrating to her today, she's sends me pressures to me sometimes. Usually when I get into an interesting subject is when the pressures start happening. Also got some pressure, though not sure if it was from her, while playing Pong in the game section.

 

8 hours of forcing.

[Raetin]

Day 12

 

Did two 30 minute sessions with Reah on Visualization, with a short review of the 5 main traits. I must say, I'm starting to get the hang of it, everything's starting to become consistent, not as many random things are happening now. I'm starting to get form down, I'll keep doing it though for a few more hour sessions before I start touch though. I redecorated the house in the wonderland, right now it's one room with a bed, shelves, and a wardrobe. Head pressures are becoming stronger.

 

I probably will have to shorten the sessions the next few days because grandma and cousin are coming to stay for awhile.

 

9 Hours of forcing total