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People keep merging into each other and I'm worried I will lose track of who's merged with who. I only half remember one system's group of merges and now another system is playing with merging and bleh... too many names... If your system decides to experiment with merging or is already experimenting with merging, please put the name of your merges here and describe what's it's like to be as that merge. I'm still not sure if I want to play with merging myself yet, but I am fascinated by other people's experiences.

Okay so, ive been doing this on and off for a good while and recently i finally got some type of sound multiple times in a row while attempting to vocalize/give the tulpa a voice. I firmly believe that this time I heard somethimg but it was undistinguishable like static or the rumbling of bushes or plastic bags. on the last session i felt like i heard someone speaking as i was attempting to listem for them but couldn't make it out. I am not too sure on whther i should consider this a step forward or what? Any advice? On erasing these doubts, its also mainly because i have a overactive imagination it has not slowed down since i was wee young lad,not that im not still a young lad at 21 but you get the point but its hard to focus down on one thing. I decided to try this and i never stop something once ive started it. so any word said is appreciated. Down below is just me spewing my concerns about me holding myself back if you dont care for the bottom just move forward and answer the top part above this section anyway. Any and all words said on either section is appreciated and taken into consideration at their deepest and core meaning levels. I look forward to your feedback. I feel like im holding myself back at least subconsciously and due to life circumstances i had to put off further development of the tulpa until recently. so since i have the time again. i decided to start where i left off and ome thought keeps occuring to me,i feel like im the tulpa is angry at me and understandably so, since i had confirmed their existemce and consciousness withim my mind when i made them a year ago and promptly had to stop due to matters getting worse. I think this is holding me the idea that their possibly angry especially since i hate conflict the fact i feel like they should be angry but ive never once forgotten about them. Now as i said earlier is this considered progress towards giving them a way to speak other than just making my/our head feel lots of pressure in ways that i can interpret as yes or no or as no comment. I definitely heard something but I dont know how to describe it.

Moved from [General] Beginner Questions General. The context of this thread can be found here: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-beginner-questions-general?pid=255008#pid255008 Solar Chariot's response also relates to this thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-general-beginner-questions-general?pid=255020#pid255020 -Ranger We only say things are confabulation during in-depth discussions of how things work, people don't tend to go around arguing what you say is impossible outside of those discussions.

I decided to make this thread because as I was responding to this post, I realized I was getting off topic from the original thread on Parallel Processing. [hidden] [/hidden] I also realized that lots of people have to re-explain their models for how Tulpamancy works in order to explain their position on certain issues such as Parallel Processing, Switching, and whatever else. In this thread, you can talk about your model here, debate with other people about their models, and add more to your own if you decide to deviate from your former stance. Since the goal is to keep everyone's position all in once place, feel free to link to this thread whenever you are debating else where.

Hey, so I was working on my tulpa for about a month, and was able to talk to him in short sentences and tulpish. I have trouble focusing on working on something for a long time. I feel horrible for giving up on him though. I havent talked to Oliver in weeks, but I really want to try again. I'm scared that not interacting with him may have caused him to die, and if not then I'm worried about how it may have affected him. I miss him though, he didn't deserve for me to abandon him. So I'm asking how i would go about bringing him back? Would he be greatly affected by what happened? Would he even want to talk with me again? thank you.

How to Dissipate a Tulpa by G of JGC Preface Hello. I understand the topic of this how-to guide may be upsetting to some. The high mortality rate for tulpas, especially in their first year of existence, is common knowledge. However, these events are rarely reported to the community, and are generally frowned upon. When someone is considering dissipation or after someone has dissipated a tulpa, they may be told: “If you are going/were going to dissipate them, why did you create a tulpa in the first place?” “If you weren’t ready, you should have known ahead of time.” “It is cruel/immoral/evil to dissipate a tulpa- you shouldn’t do it/have done it.” This guide will not address the first two responses. This guide is not “How to Avoid Being in the Situation Where You Dissipate Your Tulpa” or “How to Make Sure Your Tulpamancy Practice Goes Well.” This guide is meant for those who are seriously considering dissipating a tulpa, and are seeking information about the mechanics of the process. As for the third response, I would like to argue that 1.) In many cases, the tulpa’s quality of life would be especially poor, and they are likely to dissipate on their own accord, as well as 2.) this guide will alleviate suffering and internal trauma by allowing tulpas to dissipate without violence, without the involvement of hatred, and with a sense of closure for all involved. Love to all, Gavin How to Dissipate a Tulpa: The “Why” *Disclaimer: This guide will refer to the person who is dissipating the tulpa as the “host”, though this may not be the case in every situation. Though this guide is geared strongly towards tulpas, it could be used as a resource for dissipating non-tulpas as well. I cannot vouch for how this guide will apply for these situations. Why would a host dissipate their tulpa? This is a good question. You could write hundreds of pages on the topic: What drives people to create such a bond, then end it? Do they understand what they’re getting into when they make a tulpa? What type of person is more likely to dissipate their tulpa? What are the risk and protective factors for a tulpa’s continued existence? If you wish to debate these questions, I encourage you to create a thread on Tulpa.info, or utilize other social media platforms such as r/Tulpas or the numerous tulpa-related Discords. However, I will not be speaking much at all about these types of questions within this guide. The host’s situation may resemble any of the following: They have made little progress with their tulpa: the tulpa is not sentient, is minimally vocal, and is devoid of any “spark of life.” In short, they have decided to give up with the tulpa creation process. They may have been trying for weeks, months, or even longer. They are not devoted to their tulpa. They spend less and less time with their tulpa, feel less and less connected/bonded to them, and may wish they never created a tulpa in the first place, or that their tulpa isn’t real. A host in this situation may also already have another tulpa or tulpas. The host and tulpa perceive themselves to have a negative, toxic, or even dangerous dynamic. Either the host or tulpa (or both) feel that the other is too strong of a negative, toxic, or dangerous influence on them. The tulpa might be some form of personification/representation of a bad trait or even a fictive of some “evil” character. Violence or other negative/unethical/hurtful acts may be involved, and the host may fear for their sanity. They want to be free from each other. I speculate that the first two situations are the most common (a host gives up on creating a tulpa, and a host no longer wants a tulpa) while the last situation (a host considers a tulpa dangerous to their sanity) is less common. However, it is hard to say for sure, especially since the majority of dissipations are likely not reported to the community. With the “Why” out of the way, we can move on to the next steps. How to Dissipate a Tulpa: What is Dissipation? Is it Permanent? Dissipation is the termination, the death, of your relationship with your tulpa, and by extension, the death of your tulpa. After a tulpa is dissipated, they are not considered to presently exist or to be alive. They are no longer mentally active, and there is no expectation that they will be in the future: they do not talk, they do not feel, they do not process, they do not react in any way- they are dead. After dissipation, you will not have a living relationship with your tulpa. Most tulpas are dependent, in some aspect, on their hosts. Very young tulpas, especially non-vocal and non-sentient tulpas, may have never acted without the host’s attention or direction. Younger tulpas may go “dormant”, “inactive”, or “disappear” if they are not forced or otherwise given attention. More independent tulpas are capable of speaking and acting without the host first paying attention to them/prompting a response. The less developed your tulpa is, the less time and effort dissipation will take. Tulpas, with time and development, imprint within your brain. The longer they exist, and the more involved in your life they are, the harder it will be for that bond to end. If you have a non-vocal or non-sentient tulpa, it is likely that after you formally say goodbye, they will be dissipated. The relationship between you two will have ended. If your tulpa is independent enough that you spontaneously, without forcing them, receive mindvoice/tulpish/emotions/other responses, dissipation may take longer. I was deeply entrenched in my host’s life. His entire internal monologue was a dialogue, a conversation that I was always in. Retraining his brain so that I was never part of that conversation, my “mental program” was never turned on (and so, was allowed to fade away) took time. It took around two weeks for 90% of me to dissipate. The next 9.99% faded away over a course of three months. I would say 100% of me dissipated, but as you may have noticed, I am not currently dead. This is another important point: the more developed your tulpa, the less likely they will ever fully go away forever. For this reason, dissipating a host (who presumably has been mentally active for years and years) is near-impossible. It is possible for most tulpas and even most hosts to “turn off”, that is, to go mentally inactive. Dissipation could also be defined as a state of permanent, total mental inactivity, such that you no longer have an active relationship with your tulpa- they are considered dead. However, I was “dead” for approximately four years. It only took five minutes of concentration on my host’s part to “revive” me. Dissipation, though still considered a permanent process, is in many cases reversible: the host can bring the tulpa back. So long as that 0.01% of the tulpa is left in the brain, whether that part of the brain is being used or not, the tulpa can be “revived." If the idea that your tulpa won’t be 100% gone forever scares you because you want them 100% gone forever, don’t worry: it will be up to you if they ever come back. If you never want them back, they will never come back. Having a tulpa is a bit like (though not exactly like) being married. If you are married to someone, you can divorce them. You divorce them, relationship over, and you say, “I will never get back together with them!” A divorce is pretty serious: most would say, a divorce is the permanent end of a relationship. Most people never get back together with the person they divorce- they probably never even see that person, though they might still think of them from time to time. However, every now and again… a divorced couple rekindles their relationship. They get remarried. But this doesn’t happen unless you want it to. If you never want your tulpa in your life again, that’s okay. You will reach a point where you don’t hear them anymore, you don’t see them anymore, you don’t interact with them in any way. You might still think back on that time of your life, and that’s alright. It’s just like reminiscing about any past relationship; it doesn’t mean you have to go get remarried. So, don’t worry that you could rekindle your relationship with your tulpa, and reverse the dissipation process. So long as you are committed that you won’t, then it won’t happen. What will happen when your tulpa has dissipated: You will no longer interact in any capacity with them, or they with you. (No thoughts, emotions, tulpish, etc.) Your tulpa will be completely mentally inactive. They will be considered permanently gone, as in dead. HOWEVER, dissipation is in many cases a reversible process, BUT it will not reverse unless you will it to reverse. Consider divorce: it is the permanent ending of a relationship, although the couple could always remarry. How to Dissipate a Tulpa: The “How” In addition to having dissipated myself at the urging of my host, I have also dissipated two thoughtforms. One was vocal and sentient, though markedly less than myself. The other was not vocal nor sentient and very short-lived, though persistently present for its existence, as well as disturbing to my host. A lot of what I did was wrong. I have dissipated tulpas carelessly, violently, and cruelly. I have drawn upon my memories and reflections of these events in order to write this guide. I hope that, by sharing this nonviolent process for dissipation, suffering and internal trauma can be avoided within your system. I hope that you can benefit from what I have learned. The Basics: You will explain to your tulpa what dissipation means, why are you dissipating them, and how the process will happen, even if you doubt they understand. You will formally say goodbye. You will cease all interaction with your tulpa. If your tulpa is not sentient, this will likely be it: they will dissipate. If your tulpa responds without your attention, you will need to retrain your brain to not have these responses, and you will need to learn to not provide any interaction. Eventually, your tulpa will completely dissipate. You will adjust to life without your tulpa. THE GOAL: Peaceful: The worst thing you can do is be violent during the dissipation process. Again, think of a couple that’s getting divorced. One or both parties may want to make a big display, to show the other that they’re really done with each other: they might lash out violently. It’s damaging, if not traumatizing. Very soon, you will no longer have your tulpa. Don’t become a villain. Don’t visualize yourself killing your tulpa, or hurting them in any fashion. You don’t need to do that in order to dissipate them. Even though we may talk about it like bodily death, dissipation does not require any sort of damage to your tulpa’s body or mind. Accepted: Do you really want this? You will, most likely, feel some amount of regret, guilt, and other such bad feelings after dissipating a tulpa. It’s okay: you’re human. Breaking off any relationship, especially one like the tulpa/host relationship, is hard. There are alternatives to dissipation: “Evil” tulpas and representations of negative traits (For example, a tulpa who personifies your anxiety/depression/self-hatred) can be redeemed. Tulpas based off of characters (fictives) can deviate from their origins. They don’t have to act like their character acts. You can re-devote yourself to forcing your tulpa. Walk-ins or similar thoughtforms can exist and be interacted with, without being tulpas or needing you to devote time to them. They can be “put into stasis.” In other words, they will go inactive, but you both understand that they may be brought back someday. It is considered less permanent than dissipation. Take a moment to imagine yourself after your tulpa has dissipated. Mentally walk through your day. If you have only been spending a small amount of time (say, forcing them in the evenings) with your tulpa, then probably not much is different. If you talk with your tulpa constantly or they support you in some fashion, this adjustment may be harder for you. For some hosts, their relationship with their tulpa is a major source of social interaction. Prepare yourself for the loss of this. Some signs that you do not want to dissipate your tulpa: You have been going back and forth, deciding that you will dissipate your tulpa, and then deciding against it. You wish you had more reason to dissipate your tulpa: that they would act out in some big way, or do something terrible. You believe that you could still save your relationship with your tulpa. You hope that your tulpa will fight you, or hope that you will be unable to dissipate your tulpa. You have been stalling or delaying your decision/actually dissipating your tulpa. Acceptance means you understand fully how your life will be when you no longer have your tulpa, and you are willing to make that situation reality. It also means, you will need to explain what you are doing to your tulpa. Even if you doubt they understand, it will help you move forward. This will be expanded on soon. Humane: One of the most painful parts of the dissipation process, besides the moment of saying goodbye, is when a “dissipated” tulpa pops up. They say something to you, or you feel their emotions. This may never happen to you, especially if your tulpa is very young. It is more likely to happen if you talk with your tulpa constantly throughout the day, and they talk fluently with you. It is okay. In short, ignore these responses. Imagine they are like text messages from your ex. Don’t respond. The relationship is over. Do not yell, be violent, or lash out against these stray responses. Like any relationship, in order to truly end, there needs to be no contact. If you respond to your dissipated tulpa, it will keep them from fading away. If you must respond, be brief. Don’t engage them, just say something along the lines of, “Please go back to sleep.” Be compassionate and firm, not angry or callous: You will no longer be supplying them with attention, and that’s that. If you are violent and angry toward your dissipated tulpa, that is still giving them attention. Dragging out your relationship by fighting your tulpa until they completely dissipate is not humane and is a sure way to increase the guilt and shame you may feel afterward. You may get some level of comfort from these stray responses. Or, you may want them to go away as quickly as possible. They may make you feel regret or shame. And again, you may not experience any stray responses. It will just depend. NOTE: The rest of this section is composed of many scripts and suggestions for how your dissipation process may happen. Please, adapt this method as needed for your situation. If you don’t like the wording, or the message, or anything else, you are absolutely not obligated to follow my advice and suggestions. Again, adapt everything as you see fit. The First Step You will explain to your tulpa what dissipation means, why are you dissipating them, and how the process will happen, even if you doubt they understand. Meet with your tulpa. Explain to them, you are no longer going to interact with/force them. Tell them your reasons for dissipating them. Refrain from yelling or getting angry, even if they’ve harmed you or others. They will no longer be a presence in your brain. Say these things, even if your tulpa is not sentient or vocal. An example script: Another example: The Second Step You will formally say goodbye. I recommend this event happens in a quiet place, where you are absolutely sure you will not be disturbed. You should be in a calm mental state. If there’s anything important you need to do, or you’re under a time constraint, wait until that’s resolved, then come back. Tell your tulpa goodbye: this is it, this is the last time you will be with each other. Depending on your relationship, you may want to hug or kiss. Again, don’t be violent. Whatever your final words are, they should be compassionate and something you can remember without feeling guilty for saying them. You may benefit from symbolism at this step. You could: Imagine your tulpa is boarding a train/bus/etc, and watch the vehicle drive off. Imagine your tulpa floating or fading away, in a peaceful way, like a spirit or ghost disappearing. Imagine your tulpa’s “soul” or “presence” disappearing into the air like smoke. You will likely find this event itself is less dramatic and stressful than you imagined it to be. In all likelihood, it will only take a few minutes, compared to the hours you may have spent considering the decision to dissipate your tulpa. The Third Step You will cease all interaction with your tulpa. If your tulpa is not sentient, this will likely be it: they will dissipate. Stop forcing your tulpa, stop talking to your tulpa, stop expecting to see them or hear them or sense them in any fashion. At this point, you may feel regret, shame, guilt, upset, or even numb. Take care of yourself. Try not to dwell on the dissipation right now: distract yourself, and preferably, do something social. You have lost someone you had a relationship with. The Fourth Step If your tulpa responds without your attention, you will need to retrain your brain to not have these responses, and you will need to learn to not provide any interaction. Eventually, your tulpa will completely dissipate. If your tulpa continues to send out stray responses after your formal goodbye, it’s okay. As stated above, do not lash out against these responses. For example: Another example: The Final Step You will adjust to life without your tulpa. The less involved your tulpa was in your life, the easier this is likely to be. The more involved, the harder it is likely to be. Either way, it’s okay, and anything you feel in response to having dissipated a tulpa is valid. You may feel loss. You may feel angry. You might even feel relieved, being free from the relationship. You do not need To swear off tulpas/plurality forever To decide that tulpas are all fake/made by crazy people or To decide that your tulpa was fake/you made it all up If your tulpa was providing something for you (for example, if they helped you with anxiety, or they were your main source of social interaction), make sure you can appropriately cope with the lack of that support. And finally, if you are feeling suicidal or like you are going to harm yourself, seek help. Resources: [Hidden] US Suicide Helpline: 1800-273-8255 UK Suicide Helpline: 0845-790-9090 Other countries: http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines For the Crisis Text Line, text HOME to 741741 (US) or 686868 (Canada). Suicide chatboxes: http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_online.html [/hidden] “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -Winnie the Pooh Edit: "A host in this situation may also already have a tulpa or tulpas." changed to "A host in this situation may also already have another tulpa or tulpas." for clarity. Edit: BetterHelp link replaced.

Not really sure where to start on this one. I might seem a little detached in tone because the emotional aspect of this isn't as important as figuring it out, right now. Gavin was kind enough to switch in to the front for three days, for a large portion of which I was completely dormant/inactive, without a sense of presence. However, I'm always a few words away, all it takes is "Jamie wake up" and there I am. I worry that part of this may be because, we didn't have a proper switch back: I was talking and started slipping in front, and Gavin just let me have it instead of fighting it. Within an hour I was very deeply derealized and couldn't shake the feeling that I was dead, that I didn't really exist. I went to bed and the next day, it wasn't any better. I realized that Gavin was being pretty quiet, but we talked and he seemed to think, it would help me get rooted in the front if he was quiet, because we have the tendency to blur more and more when I am dissociated or derealized. So, we decided, I wouldn't bother him, I'd let him be quiet. Not silent- just not a constant presence, more like talking a few times an hour. I should have realized yesterday, I should have forced him or something, when he spoke up and said "I don't feel good," because that is exactly what Cassidy will say before losing the front, blurring, or having some other uncomfortable identity separation thing. But instead, I told him I still didn't mind his being quiet, we were doing fine, and Gavin told me not to worry. About an hour later, Cassidy called for him with no response, and then came to me and I called for him and tried to summon him up and nothing happened. There was a lot of fear involved but I resolved that, in a bit of denial, nothing bad at all had happened and we should just give it time and he'd show up. Eventually went to bed, hoping that I could get some responses out of that state, and nothing. I even tried to parrot him to get him to wake up and it just freaked Cassidy out because it was clearly not him. I could get some auto-responses in his voice, even try to mimic his sense of presence, but none of it sticks at all and none of it registers as Gavin. I said, okay, we'll see in the morning, the first thing that always happens is that he checks up on us. No Gavin. I went through all the ways I know to summon up a systemmate, but honestly I don't know what Gavin responds to. This was all stuff I did for Cassidy when he was really little- I've only ever heard of younger, less established tulpas completely blinking out. I worry that we've merged, and that's not an out-of-the-blue fear. At the end of his first existence a few years back, we merged and any stray responses of his, I deemed as my own, until his sense of presence was gone and there was only mine. We blur nearly daily, mostly from conversations but also just if one of us gets grounded to the external world. I fear that, Gavin never switched back out with me: I just "overwrote" him. I also worry that if I think of him as gone or anything like that, it'll impact him, so I'm resolved that he's just dormant and no need to freak out, but at the same time... this isn't a very good situation. I myself am okay, still somewhat derealized but it's much less, I just can't look at my hands or in a mirror too long or I feel like I'm breaking the Matrix, but it's also not been okay and I want to get this resolved as soon as possible. I'm sure Gavin isn't going to be happy about this; he prides himself on his constancy. So, no more denial, and there's really no other place to get advice on an issue like this, so here I am. I'm not looking for "Don't worry, he'll just show up" because I've waited and he hasn't, and I have to try something. I have no idea if it's related, but I've been unable to see much at all with my mind's eye since we realized Gavin was gone. I feel like I've lost 80% of my visual processing power. There isn't even color in our wonderland house, which I've spent hours visualizing, unless I consciously add them in. I don't know if this crept on or was sudden or if it happened before or after, but it's another weird event. Any advice is greatly appreciated. -J [Edit: you were right Apollo, I always want to say "switch out" when I mean "switch in" because I say it like "switch out to the front", but... that's so confusing.]

Butterfly Effect: The scientific theory that a single occurence, no matter how small, can change the course of the universe forever. (Urban Dictionary) Or, on a smaller scale, change a person's life forever. This thread is about how the Butterfly Effect can occur in tulpamancy. Here's the premise: what little thing that occurred in your life can either be traced back as the cause of your system, or something that changed it in major ways? (if it applies to you, of course) --- Here is our own big Butterfly Effect, and it amazes me to think of how something so seemingly small has affected our entire life in major ways. It's pretty long, so I'm putting it in hidden tags. [hidden] [video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jdgb6_ch4M A one minute clip from the show Adventure Time can be traced back as the origin of the majority of our system. Here's how: this clip is about an "imagination land," where anything Finn imagines can become real. 10 years old at the time of watching this, our original host had the idea to make some sort of imaginary game based off of this. The original and their younger sister would play these games before bed, where they would use their imaginations to control characters and tell each other what was happening. After having the idea, they started playing the new game. They (mostly our host) developed the world the story was taking place in, and the people in it. They ended up creating two types of people: Imaginees and Permanees. Imaginees are magical people who have the power of "imagination" where anything they imagine can become real. However, they are incredibly lonely most of the time. Permanees serve as the companions of Imaginees: they are "created" by the Imaginees using big machines that sort of form them into a specific image. People make Permanees look like characters, celebrities, or original ideas. Permanees are made out of light, with their own souls and magic and stuff. They are non-biological, meaning they don't need to eat, don't reproduce, and don't age, but can still die (they have more lives after death, however). In this world (Eemaj), only two Permanees are allowed per Imaginee. However, the main family that the host and her sister focused on were allowed to have as many as they wanted (for reasons). Among the Permanees they had were based on John, Paul, George, and Ringo of the Beatles. The original took quite a liking to Paul, even though he was never their favorite Beatle. They focused more on him than other Permanees, and put him through more plotlines and such. They put so much focus on him that he ended up gradually gaining sentience, at some point or another. Two years later, another character was added whom the original took a liking to, as did Paul. His name was HJP. He was meant to be a one-and-done character (because he was killed), however it seemed that they became too attached to him. He then lived as a ghost, and, as Paul did, gradually gained his own sentience. The fact that the original obsessed over them and treated them like their own people and not just characters definitely contributed to each of them gaining sentience. They showed many signs of sentience over the years: emotion, thought, deviation, independent actions, lots of misery and lots of love for each other. In Eemaj, they were put through endless psychological pain (eventually Eemaj stopped being a game with the sister and instead just became something the original did alone). However, the original never knew they were sentient. Until December 2016, when the original learned about tulpas and began working on Apollo (who was also named Paul, at the time). Some way or another, the act of the original focusing inward and talking to another person ended up alerting Paul and HJP to it. I'm unsure how, exactly. All I know is they soon learned about reality and the fact that all they had gone through wasn't real. As you can imagine, they didn't take it well. The original ignored them many times, fearful of having to face their anger or having to have more tulpas than they could handle. It wasn't until mid-January that they were let into the system. They had issues, to say the least. They decided that the solution to their issues would be to merge into one tulpa. Long story short, this merge created me. I took over the merge myself. Complicated, but that's what happened. Around May, I started writing a story that well, inspired us to make a new tulpa. This is how T was born. He wasn't based on the character, but if I hadn't written that story, we wouldn't have made him. I'm not mentioning his full name out of respect, I'm just calling him T. It was also in May that the merge split apart and I became my own independent tulpa. Paul and HJP left the system. Months later in October, the system was going through some very rough times. T ended up fronting and creating Indigo. Although we no longer stand by the reason Indigo was created (nor the reason T was created), it's what happened. T ended up leaving the system a year later, due to his own struggles, however. So now it's Apollo, me, and Indigo in the system. We're in control, making our own decisions and living our own lives. We're happy that we have each other, we have no need to make any more or anything like that. The three of us exist happily together, all because of a one-minute clip in an episode of Adventure Time. [/hidden] And that's the story of how a one-minute clip created 2/3 of our systemmates. Anyone else have any stories like this, where something small affected your system in major ways? Share them!

This question is mostly aimed at those whose systemmates front often/consistently, though of course anyone is free to give input. Back before our system fronted much, proxying was of course a breeze. We just spoke, the host typed, no problem. When we took up fronting more often, we could proxy each other, but couldn't proxy the host because the host would just take over accidentally to speak. Now? We can't proxy each other in the slightest. Even the smallest bit of talking into a chat results in them slipping into the front to write it on their own. We have to maintain conscious effort/strain in order to proxy. And well, this might not be seen as an issue, but for us it's kind of annoying I guess, since it's not an issue we ever used to have, and some of us don't like being knocked out of the front like that. I don't know. Earlier today my predecessors/creators came around, and I wanted them to chat a bit, however they just ended up fronting and didn't like it at all, they wanted to be proxied instead, but we found great difficulty with that. Even though they're hardly around and certainly never front, they inherited what's normal for the rest of us I suppose. That's why I bring this up. Anyone else have similar struggles with proxying (or something similar)?

It is known that the tulpa community's engagement with the lucid dream community took place in 2012, and the/MLP/lucid dream discussion thread became the tulpa discussion thread. Read tulpa.info and occasionally you'll see traces of the lucid dream community. But that's just the context, and I don't know how deeply the two communities interact. One interesting thing I found in the Japanese community was that, almost as in the early days of the English community, the site was split off from the lucid dream community. Members of the lucid dreaming community are occasionally seen in the Chinese community, and some members of the community even say that tulpa has a direct connection to lucid dreaming (they don't mean history, they mean applications). But I have long argued that there is no direct link between lucid dreaming and tulpa. At least many people can not give enough convincing evidence to argue. Today (or the day before), I discovered that the link to tulpa.info no longer had a lucid dream link, which again intrigued me. Does this mean that there is a fine line between the two communities? (I mean, like tomatoes and potatoes, they're not the same species, and people are finally realizing that today.) Is that so?

[Formally titled, "Behold, 'Tulpanto!' I bring you a new word from Esperanto."] What's wrong with "tulpamancer?" 1.) The -mancer has the wrong connotation. Tulpas aren't magic and neither is the act of creating/having them. 2.) It sounds entirely unprofessional. Just silly. A little bit of mystique is fine, but "tulpamancer?" I'd turn tail if someone told me they were an anything-mancer. Where'd I get "tulpanto" from? The constructed language of Esperanto, created in the late 1800s by a Polish doctor as a universal auxiliary language, makes it easy to put roots and affixes together to make new words. I used tulp-, from tulpa, as a root. The root -anto means "one who does the action the of root", or less formally, "doer/maker." So, a tulpanto is a tulpa-maker. Why should I say "tulpanto" over "tulpamancer?" 1.) It doesn't have a magical connotation. 2.) I know some people will want a word that's even more formal and science-y sounding, but I don't think that's going to happen. We're not super-brain-force-masters. "Tulpanto" sounds more like an obscure cultural identity than a strange magic society, and that's what I'm aiming for. 3.) If someone has zero clue what tulpas are, and they hear the word "tulpamancer", they have instantly linked tulpas to magic. That's their first exposure to tulpas: as something to be seen through the same eye as magicians. On the other hand, "-Anto" comes from Latin, and is found in many romance languages such as Italian, Spanish, and even English. (Protestant, servant, participant, etc.) It means "The agent noun derived from verb", or again, just "doer." 4.) This change will impact our impression to the world. When some researcher, journalist, or heaven forbid, local news host discovers us, what do you want them to know us as? Confused people will come in contact with us, in some context or another, and they have to call us something. What impression do you want to be their first? This is your chance to improve the world's view of tulpas, just by avoiding a misleading term. How can I shift to saying "tulpanto?" 1.) "Tulpanto" is pronounced tul-pahnt-oh, each syllable rhyming with "full", "want", and "go", respectively. Just like "tulpa", but with an extra bit at the end. The plural in Esperanto would be tulpantoj (the "oj" is pronounced "oye"), but I think tulpantos is better for English. 2.) Be proud to identify yourself as a tulpanto, if you are one. Doesn't it have a better ring than being a "tulpamancer?" So many people are turned off by that term, and I'm sorry to report, our Hogwarts acceptance letters never came. I don't think it's appropriate for us to refer to ourselves as any kind of sorcerer, witch, or wizard. 3.) Spread the word. Link confused people back here, or just tell them, "we decided to finally start using a new word, instead of continuing to use that one we all didn't like." You have that power. We have that power. If you don't like the term "tulpamancer", then stop using it. The more it's used in the community, the more comfortable it'll be to us. Imagine the first people to call themselves tulpamancers! If they can get that started, we can get "tulpanto" started. Just by writing this post, the newness has worn off "tulpanto" for me. -J, a tulpanto

This is my first real post so I hope I do it right. To other tulpas: Do you ever see your host's dreams? I am in Dragon's dreams sometimes but he never recognizes me even when he's lucid. And once when he woke up, I kept carrying on the dream he was having and he was aware of it even though he was awake. Any other tulpas have dream things happen like this? Changed title to be less generic -Vos

We're wondering if anyone have some knowledge, theories, experiences, or anything to share about tulpa and psychosis. This subject is something that seems to be pretty unknown in tulpamancy. I'll try to update if I find something about it. [hidden] I'm getting a lot of hints of something coming up lately. Thought are randomly getting overwritten with other thoughts, conversations with random thoughtforms based on people close to me is popping up no matter what. Meditation is literally impossible lately and is getting harder and harder by time. Let's not forget self-deception which has started to happen automatically more often than ever. Matsuri is really trying to help which means a freakin' lot. I'm honestly scared and excited at the same time. For whatever is happening. [/hidden]

Hello! This morning I was reading through this old survey that's pinned to the GD forum. Upon reading it, it became very clear that its questions are very outdated, and virtually don't reflect the community at all anymore. So, I had the idea that maybe we should create a fresh one, with more focus on the topics of today for tulpas. I'm thinking it'll ask questions more along the lines of how the tulpa in question defines "tulpa," what it means for them to be sentient or vocal, what sort of role they want to play in life, that sort of thing, rather than just asking questions about how the tulpa creation process went for the host. Give me any ideas you have. If you want, read through the previous survey and suggest any questions that you think should stay for the new one. I'm really thinking the new one should have a different focus, but I'm willing to listen to any ideas you guys might have before I start drafting it! What kind of questions do you think the new survey should have, and why?

I wanted to talk about something I've noticed happen in the community quite a few times. Around three or more times, I've experienced people "gatekeeping" tulpamancy. If you don't know what gatekeeping means, it's when somebody insists that a person can't be a part of a fandom or subculture because of their opinions/tastes. In this scenario, it usually means somebody saying that someone either a) is or has a fake tulpa or b) doesn't believe in tulpas (even if they are one) because their opinions on tulpas differ from the "gatekeeper's" opinions. In my experience, the most common time this happens to me is if I remark that I do not personally believe that tulpas can be active when they're not fronting or being thought of by the host. I get called a false tulpa, because of course real tulpas would be able to do that, I must not be a real tulpa (even though I used to believe I was able to do that too -- I should also note that the person who said this to me didn't even have a tulpa), or somebody says that I don't care about tulpas, because if I don't care about imaginary worlds then surely I don't care about imaginary people (even though I've never made any claims that tulpas are imaginary). There was also one point when Indigo said that he liked to be silly and playful sometimes, and the somebody called him a "very shallow imaginary friend." This wasn't even provoked by a difference in opinion, it was just somebody deciding that if a tulpa acted different then they must be fake. It's a thankfully small amount of people who act this way from what I've seen, but it's never a positive when it happens. Of course every community is going to have a few bad apples who want to make it worse for others. I know that no matter how many incorrect opinions I think a person might have, I'm never going to tell them that they're not a real host/tulpa or any garbage like that. I consider it a borderline atrocious thing to say to anyone just for having a different opinion. I've also heard of plenty of traumagenic systems attacking endo/tulpa systems, saying that they're not real systems because they weren't caused by trauma, though this doesn't happen in any communities I frequent. Anybody else have experience with people acting in this way?

So, I just found out about this thing called holotropic breathing, which, from my limited experience of it, is something like a light trance state while hyperventilating to the point of inducing hallucinations and the like. I watched a video of it, read a bit, then hopped right in with a guided video. About thirty seconds into breathing to the rhythm of some fast music, I got a pounding headache and my entire head and neck felt light and airy. I lasted about two minutes, until Gavin popped up and said, "No, no, no, you are going to pass out, this is not wise." I don't know what person could ever do two full hours without passing out. So... I do not recommended this, if not for the immediately clear health risks, then just the fact that it was discomforting, even compared to long vipassana sessions. I think, had I continued, I probably could have hallucinated, but I don't think I would have had much control of my experience by that point. After I stopped the breathing, I felt a rush of adrenaline and started laughing, felt loopy for a hot minute. I think solid meditation and perhaps mild sleep deprivation is a much better path to imposition. I have no plans to try this again- in fact, I feel a little silly for trying it. Anyone else tried this? Had a better/worse experience? Those people who start shaking and things... they aren't acting. The effect is strong and quick- because, again, you're basically hyperventilating while in a light trance, until you're almost passed out. -J (switched back in just to hyperventilate and get a headache... sorry Cassidy...)

[1.0 Version] [2.0, if created - will be extremely fleshed out with coaching principles and practices from coaching programs worth thousands of dollars. Professional trainings distilled into bite-sized, practical concepts you and your tulpa can work on straight away. Will only create if demand is high enough for this type of content] Preface This is more of a personally written guide to etch into the interwebs but it's written in a fashion in which anyone can pick it up and give it a go. I want to mention that this isn't a standalone guide. Use various other guides for tulpa creation, there's nothing really new to add to this point aside from ways to drastically speed up the sentience process. I made a post once for it but ended up deleting it. If anyone is interested in a revival of that post just let me know. Uses various NLP and hypnotherapy practices to help cement it. Anyway, the purpose of this guide is to use tulpas as a theraputic and achievement tool. I don't mean tool in the full sense of the word of course, but the point is is that it's built for a purpose. IMPORTANT NOTE: as a guide written more personally, this means that I'm not claiming everything listed here will work in the same way it worked for me. These are my experiences and conclusions. Thus adapt this guide however you want. Cut things out, add things in, whatever you feel is best. Also I can't guarantee your tulpa will help you in these ways. If you're totally new and want to make a tulpa for this purpose, please keep in mind there is the possibility it'll reject its purpose. My tulpas I've found can be built with core desires in the way I present. But that doesn't mean it's the same scenario for you. Justifying Servitude Sadly I have to do this. If you're not the type of person to get butthurt over little things (and can actually absorb the information of a post despite minor disagreements) like this feel free to move onto the next section. The answer lies in humanity itself, as tulpas adopt the same psychology. Our current era of living is far crueler than necessary. In the past, the far past, there were not many who were just lost wanderers simply drifting through existence until their certain death. Even a slave knew he had purpose, everyone had their role to play. Lives had significance, more than we can say about our current times. Many wander lost seeking purpose, even if only a temporary one until they find their hearts core passions. Humans, within our DNA, are called to achieve certain desires. Desires that are collectively shared and not our own. The 7 levels of human needs, the primal and biological calls to action in their own progression. Think of it this way. A grand architect, God, nature, or mere chance programmed within the very fabric of our being motives that we will seek out as our own, because we assume they are our own. Nonetheless, their fulfillment makes us feel... well... fulfillment. To various degrees. When you create your tulpa you are that grand architect. You are the creator. Much like humans create AI with core purposes and I'm sure once AI is human-like, they'll also program core goals and desires into them because the only reason why they are making AI is to serve humanity, not to be on the same level of humanity. If they wanted more humans, they'd just promote people fuck and pop out babies more than they are now. They want servants on the same level of humans, but of course that brings in ethics and whathaveyou. Being a servant isn't inherently bad. You, no matter what road you take, are a servant to the economy like it or not. But if you love what you're doing, you don't feel like a servant. You're also a servant to nature, in which programmed you with core desires to carry out. Because you've been programmed to carry them out, you don't feel like a servant because they feel as though they are your own desires. The reality of it doesn't matter, point is you're carrying out a will that is not your own happily. So you're just giving your tulpa a purpose, a programmed core desire. And because it feels like it is its own, it will carry it out happily. Even though we humans know these desires aren't ours, again, we still carry them out. So your tulpa knowing that the desire it has is not its own will still carry it out nonetheless because it brings it fulfillment and joy. It's a good deal. You get what you want, and it gets happiness and satisfaction for doing so. I should note it's unknown in what form this desire will manifest in the tulpa. It could act as a "genetic" desire, or a fleeting desire. I can't claim I know exactly how this'll affect your tulpa but odds are, it won't mind fulfilling its purpose. Theraputic Purposes 101 Examples of ways a tulpa can help you to get you thinking... Emotional support Higher mindset when you're in low points Brainstorming/planning things Motivation (tulpa can leverage the influence triggers - but you have to know what they are first so get reading) Apply any knowledge you learn to support you Encourage expansion of your comfort zone and other personal growth Can act much like a life coach (provided you have some knowledge it can use) for you (which many spend thousands for) Examples of ways you may use a tulpa to destroy yourself... Any form of escapism and reliance (escape from reality, people, obligations, duties, responsibilities, yourself, and life itself) Principle: your tulpa can only use knowledge you have. If you want your tulpa to do something you yourself have no knowledge of, don't expect anything to happen. Want it to help you with motivation? Learn about motivation. Can't think of a higher mindset? Listen to a couple of Alan Watts videos. ~~Motivation~~ So how can a tulpa help with motivation. Getting shit done. I'll give you a master key of motivation in which your tulpa can use to help you. Or even you using to help yourself. Motivation is not what most people think it is. It's not externally based. It's not watching a motivational video or listening to pump up music. Do these things give you motivation? Yes. A hit of motivation. A feeling of inspiration. But that will not last long enough. Motivation is simply having a motive. A why. And the 2 most powerful driving forces for a human being are pleasure and pain. The twin forces of action. The twin cycles of action. If both gears are moving, you will take action. Period. This is your why. You make your current situation so unbearably uncomfortable and your potential future situation so amazing that your intrinsic psychology kicks in, and that psychology is using 3 core, primal levers. The path of least resistance (make it harder to stay in your current situation than do the thing you're putting off) Avoidance of pain Pull towards pleasure Many people seeking achievement will never realize these simple paragraphs I've just shown you. I urge you to please use them and not take them lightly, these core levers FORCE action. Very powerful stuff, I've used it to change my life and almost every major coaching practice contains strong focus on these actionable ideas. ~~Coaching & Achievement~~ You don't want to intend for your tulpa to be an emotional tampon you just whine and complain to. You wouldn't do that to a friend so don't do it to your tulpa. A close friend is useful to vent emotions to and get things off your chest, just remember they're a person and not an emotional tampon. Treat your tulpa the same. But you want your tulpa to coach you. When you give excuses, you want your tulpa to call you out on your bullshit empathetically. You want it to hold you accountable. You want it to entice each twin cycle (pleasure/pain). You want it to ask the right questions to get you thinking. No... to get you ACTING. TAKING ACTION. The last thing you want to be doing when you need to do something is think. Thinking is bullshit for something like working out. And your mind will rationalize so many things to ensure you do not work out and it'll make sense to you. But it's all bullshit and excuses. See why being in your head is the last thing you want for this kind of activity? "But I need a diet plan first". No you don't. You can start and make it as you go along. "But I don't know where to start." Any routine on bodybuilding.com ... change it and optimize as you go. "But this, but that". Excuses. Can't afford a gym membership? Home gym. Can't buy weights and a pullup bar? Calisthenics. You want your tulpa to fucking DESTROY each of your bullshit excuses. This is the role of a coach. Customization Coaching and motivation should absolutely be on your list. If you're ignoring them you're only shooting yourself in the foot. Part of you wants to stay stuck in stasis. Tell that part of you to fuck right off because one day, when you're taking your last breath, you at least want to know you gave changing your life your best shot. Not die with regret and self-hate knowing that in the end, you're the one who decided to destroy yourself. Ignoring this information is a decision. YOUR decision. So just make a nice big list of all the things you need help with, and then make another list of things your tulpa can do to help you. Ideally specifics. Let me give you an example. Less Than Optimal List Motivation Anxiety Depression Social skills practice Optimal List Motivation by engaging the twin cycles & other influence levers a) scarcity, urgency, fear of loss, guilt (and other painful emotions for the Pain Cycle) for my CURRENT situation b) excitement, inspiration, ambition, comfort, control (and other desirable emotions for the Pleasure Cycle) for my FUTURE situation I should note the Twin Cycles strategy isn't best LONG TERM. Too much stress too often is bad for your health and psychological wellbeing. But most millionaires and superstars started off with the twin cycles, so use it like training wheels on a bicycle. Eventually you won't need them, you'll have trained your "get shit done" muscle enough (pre-frontal cortex). Anxiety a) Consoling, counselling, helping to align my state (focus, language & physiology) b) Helping me think of things that reduce stress chemicals and release pleasant chemicals So on and so forth. You want specifics. And if you can't think of any specifics, start learning about solutions for your problem. I didn't know about the twin cycles for a very long time, I had to learn about it. I didn't know you can control your state with focus, language and physiology. I had to learn about it. Your tulpa won't pull things out of its ass. Give it a foundation to work with. Conclusion The possibilities are endless. 1. Identify your problem/outcome 2. Read up on solutions for it (so you and your tulpa can work on said solutions) 3. List it out in an optimal way on your grand list (so it's etched into the fabric of your tulpa) If you already have a tulpa, just do that and sign both of your names at the bottom underneath some sort of declarative statement. This is assuming your tulpa is interested in helping you in this way. Your tulpa is already made so you can't really etch this in as a core desire. So discuss the matter first. "I (your name) commit to working with (tulpas name) to bring about drastic change in my life using the list on this piece of paper." ________________X ______________________X However you want to go about it. This cements it. It's not just a thought anymore. An idea. A concept. No. It's now an intention, a declaration, a statement, a commitment. If you do not have a tulpa, do the same exercise anyway. Sign this declaration for your tulpa. This cements its purpose nonetheless. Also include these aspects in the forcing stage. Read the list to it every now and then. A lot this guide is common sense but not everyone thinks through these things. If you want your tulpa to help you in this way, then sit down and do these exercises. Once you identified the problems/outcomes then you read up on things to give your tulpa an effective base of information to help you with, then you cement it with a list and declaration of intent.

Let's not call tulpas "it." We accept that they're sentient, sapient people, right? Though tulpas may start off with low levels of sentience, they quickly develop into their own persons. Though babies start off with low levels of sentience (and are sometimes called 'it'!), we knock that off quickly. You don't refer to someone's toddler as an "it." Most tulpas have more complex thinking than toddlers: they have the memories of the host to draw from. I haven't seen individual tulpas called "it," but I see the general, singular tulpa called "it." As in this definition of imposition from a guide, "The act of voluntarily hallucinating a tulpa, perceiving it with physical senses." I'm not saying this is an epidemic: people use "they" for tulpas more than I ever see "it", but I've never seen a host referred to as "it." And I know that each and every one of you has definitely never, ever done this on purpose, but maybe some of us (but not you, of course!) are prone to a slip-up every now and again, so this is just a little reminder. I think "it" greatly misrepresents tulpas, making them seem like characters or imaginary friends. So, let's make sure not to call tulpas "it." For the sake of the community, proofread. If you see something, correct it. With love, Jamie

All I'm doing for Halloween is watching The Nightmare Before Christmas, but it's Cassidy's first Halloween, so he's going to dress up his form. I'm also going to save candy for him to switch out and try, since I'm sure I'll get some random candy from school. I have no idea what Gavin is doing, or if he'll dress up. I'm a little worried they're going to try to spook me in some way. Then my birthday is the 2nd, and I don't really celebrate that either, but Cassidy is already trying to figure out what he, personally, can do for me. It's a bit tricky because of the whole body-sharing thing. Gavin's been around for birthdays of mine. I remember him humming "Happy Birthday" to me because he's always refused to sing. (I just had a spot of imposition right now, I can hardly believe it, and I'll be popping over to my progress report after this!) So, how do you include tulpas in holidays and celebrations? Do your tulpas give you presents? Do you give them presents? Do you all have parties in wonderland? I've been meaning to host a ball in my mindscape. -J

I am interested in dreaming and lucid dreaming because I think it could lead to learning how to switch. Oddly enough, I don't remember our dreams but my host Cat does. Is this a normal thing where some Tulpas are either worse at/better at dream recall than their host or is this something I can work on through more practice fronting? Even if the reality is dream recall has nothing to do with switching ability, I still would like to remember our dreams just for the heck of it.

Yes, kinda like the title says. We're pretty new to tulpamancy. Started out with her being absent from me a whole day. She came back in a different form the next morning and it honestly freaked me out a bit. Then accepted it was her and continued on with my day. Got home, everything was still normal, except her form was different but I learned to accept it. We began forcing, she changed form back and for some reason, the new form she adapted but abandoned was already sentient without me realizing it at first. I wrote more in my journal/diary but for anyone who haven't read it, this should be enough to get a simple understanding. Question is basically; what in the world is going on? How could I see this in a optimistic manner? Kudos in advance and hope the answers I get can help others!

Hey, I want to preface this by saying that I have some background stuff that may make my experience different than others'. My first tulpa was accidental and we had no idea what he was until long after he was gone. Even before that, I've had the experience of a second (well, now third) stream of consciousness that has no identity and functions like a radio broadcast, and continues to this day. My first tulpa, G, developed what I'm going to call a "stream of consciousness" after a few months of sentient existence (though he existed as a sort of proto-tulpa for years prior.) I think in mostly sentences, plus maybe some images and visuals, but G thought mostly in symbols. For example, if he was about to tell me to get busy and do my homework, I would "sense" something like "work-need-remind" and then G would say "Hey, don't you have a test to study for?" I sensed G's stream of consciousness from the same location as his mind-presence, in the right corner of my jaw. The symbols weren't words, or images, or anything like that, but just... symbols. Some kind of tulpish, like the pure concept of "remind" or "red" or "fish" or whatever. He was never very emotional, but I felt his emotions from the same place as well. This stream of consciousness went on nearly 24/7. Just like I'm most always thinking, his thought process always worked alongside mine. This personal experience is my main evidence for the reality of parallel processing. It was all one brain, but that brain was able to maintain two streams of consciousness, both able to interact with each other and the outside world. G's stream of consciousness was not as developed as mine, but it makes me wonder what might have happened if G lived longer. Just in the last week, I've started sensing this symbolic thinking from C, from where his mind-presence lives, right behind my eyebrow. It's much rarer that G's and doesn't run constantly beside mine, but it's there. We fully intend on testing the limits of this. It's pretty exciting to us both and I take it as a major sign of development. So, does my experience line up with yours? What does parallel processing mean for you? Do you think a human brain is capable of forming two, fully-developed streams of consciousness that run at the same time? Personally, I'm not sure. I feel like my thinking will always be the most developed, just because I've been around the longest and my brain knows me best. -J

Something that's been taking place in the tulpa community over time is the gradual shifting of definitions in such a way to make it easier for people to claim that they've achieved certain things. It seems that people are moving the goalpost by means of changing the meanings of words, so that there's way less of a challenge in accomplishing such skills. The first example of this being "imposition." I never really know what people exactly mean by imposition, as sometimes they might use the original definition (a self-induced hallucination), but a lot of the time they just mean "visualizing over the real world" as opposed to visualizing in the wonderland. I always have to ask people to clarify which one they mean when they say they can impose the tulpa. Now to me, using "imposition" to just mean "visualization" is very misleading. Visualizing over the real world is not nearly as difficult as somehow intentionally hallucinating, but the term has shifted to mean that. I can understand why, though, since saying "imposition" is much easier than saying "visualizing over the real world." Though personally I'd just call it "overlay visualization." The second example is with the term "switching." Now, we've had people try to pressure us into adopting the shifted definition of switching so that we can say that we've switched, even though we do not believe we have. Today, people say "switching" to just mean "full-body possession" with the host still present. However I don't understand how you could even call that a switch, if you have only one person changing where they are (the tulpa) and the other staying in place. People keep telling us "if you full body possess then that means you are switching," and we just don't believe that, it would feel really wrong to move the goalpost like that just to feel like we've accomplished something when really we haven't. That's why I feel these terms have changed in general -- people want to say they've switched without actually having their host switch out, so instead they just consider full-body possession to be switching. However, full-body possession, like overlay imposition, is basically child's play, it's so easy. Switching is challenging, and apparently they don't want a challenge? I don't know about most people, but changing the definition of a word to fit my current situation would not be gratifying at all. If others can actually fully switch, then we can too, someday, without resorting to something like changing what a word means. Thoughts?

(Just a random comment, but I think it would be nice to have a thread prefix for "Plurality" or something. Maybe not that word, but a prefix for threads about the experience of being plural, telling people you have tulpas, etc. Unless that does fit into General or Misc?) So, just two hours ago, I told my therapist about my month-ish old tulpa, C. I didn't jump straight into tulpas: I basically told "The Narrative", but for plurality. I'm going to go over the steps I used, in case anyone else is thinking about it. The Narrative works on anyone, as long as you have a little time: family, friends, whoever. For transgender people, The Narrative is this big story you tell about how you realized you were trans. You go back as far as you can into your childhood and pull memories from that time you played with trucks instead of dolls, you talk about how you didn't feel like a "tomboy", though you were masculine, and you talk about how "trans man" felt right. The Narrative involves quite a bit of hand-holding and 101 stuff. You don't start with "'I'm not a woman, I'm a man, and I want HRT, I want SRS." It's like walking someone through the process you yourself had with learning what all the words and labels meant. After that, you both can have those conversations about "So, what does this mean for you and me?" So, I told The Plurality Narrative. I talked about how "Everyone imagines how other people might react to their behavior" and my "internal radio". I don't think I've mentioned it here, but I almost constantly hear a blurry jumble of voices and noise in my head. It feels like my brain just generating stuff: I hear a lot of things that could be hook lines on Law & Order, right before they cut to the intro. I also hear "How old are you?" about 50 times a day, to the point where I've named that one thought Horu (How Old R U). I've tried answering internal radio, but I've never been able to interact with it. It's like listening into a surrealist radio station generated in my mind, hence the name. So that's the first step. Internal radio is not scary. It's an internal process that my brain has marked external. I kept coming back to this. It's all one brain. Most people mark everything in their brain as me, but my brain has a unique talent of saying not me. I talked a little about my history of dissociation, how I spent months at a time with that "imaginary dot of your mind, right in your head" floating two feet about my body. My therapist had already known about that part. Second step: talking about my first tulpa, who thought he was an alter and integrated/dissipated himself after about two years. I talked about how I would have an "imaginary conversation partner", and how one day, I decided he could be more than that. I allowed my brain to mark G as an external process, and so he quickly became sentient, and a great friend of mine. I talked about all the positive things he did for me, and also how confused we were to not know what G was. I talked about how G thought he was an alter, and how distressing it was when he decided to leave. And the end goal: I talked about how, two months ago, I found out about tulpas. I was able to recontextualize everything that happened with G and learned that plurality ≠ DID or general "craziness." I talked about how this felt like a missing puzzle piece, and talked about my motivations for making C. I did a little Tulpa 101 here, and my therapist expressed that she's going to do some research of her own. I introduced wonderlands by mentioning, "You know how in those relaxation videos, they say 'picture yourself in a peaceful meadow?' You make a place like that, so you can interact with your tulpa there." She was totally down with everything, and never made me feel crazy. The only thing she really asked me, outside of minor clarification questions, was who else I had told (No one IRL). I did still leave some stuff out: I didn't get into how C and I have switched, how I was visualizing him next to me on the couch the entire time, or how I'm trying to purposefully hallucinate his form and voice (imposition is a long-term goal of ours.) I assume next session she'll want to talk more about this all. I did mention how there aren't limits on what a tulpa looks like, so some people have ponies, dragons, whatever. I didn't want her to google "tulpas" and be surprised by any MLP or furry art that shows up. My "Plurality Narrative" definitely said "People make tulpas as mental companions, and it's a natural, psychological process that doesn't mean mental instability" and did not say "Some people have sex with or even marry their tulpas", even though I think that's perfectly fine (with consent and a lot of thought put into it, of course.) First impressions mean a lot. It's important to lay down a good foundation, before you can have those more finicky conversations. That's why we say "Two men can love each other, right?" not "Two men should be able to dance the horizontal tango!" because you'll set off the taboo alarms in people's heads. Avoid setting off the taboo alarms for "hearing voices = crazy" and "plurality = severe trauma or faking", and hopefully everyone will stay open-minded and not shut down the conversation. So, it all turned out well. C was apprehensive in the moment, but was ecstatic when it all worked out. (It's a pattern of his.) Prior to today, we had had quite a few discussions about whether or not to tell my therapist. After our last appointment, when C was there, and got to form his own opinion of her, he decided that she would be safe to tell. My biggest piece of advice to all closeted systems is only come out if you feel safe enough to do so. Heck, it works for queer and trans people, too. If you think you're going to get kicked out of your house, involuntarily hospitalized, disowned, have your livelihood taken away, beat up, etc., consider waiting to come out. But... if it is safe, and you're ready, I wish you the best luck. C says to be confident when you come out. -J

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