Tulpa romance vs overall romance.

[NoneFromHell]

Well for starters i got problems seeing the big difference, beside the obvious one: Being in romance with someone inside your head is for everyone who takes a look from outside our little tulpa-world just plain weird, or a stupid fantasy and nothing real at all. For someone who is dealing with the situation themself it is about spending time with a similiar mind, and there is no difference if said mind is in another body or not. Probably the tulpa romance will be always less stressing than any "real" relationship, simply because there is no reason for mistrust to begin with. You know exactly who you're dealing with, and probably there will be no living person which can be loved that unconditionally without any risks.

 

Beside that there are mainly the physical aspects of a romance, and atleast I don't really care that much about them. I won't love someone less, just because i can't touch them. Doesn't matter here if the person is "real" or not. It's just no "requirement" in my books.

[Guest Anonymous]

Thank you for your input, everyone.

 

 

You do make a very valid point, Mistgod. Sorry, heh, she had forgotten what you meant by 'make believe fantasy'. Your thread actually makes a lot of sense.

 

Expect an informative post of my part once I have some time to write that down.

[Guest Anonymous]

Anderson, I am glad that you don't take offense at what I have to say about things. Really, a few people take me way too seriously. I am, in fact, pretty much a harmless idiot and role playing geek who likes to draw pictures and day dreams too much. My opinions about tulpamancy shouldn't ever carry much weight at all. If I had a doctorate in psychology and had written research articles about tulpas, that might be different.

[Guest Anonymous]

Now that I got some time, and since we're both comfortable writing down some stuff, I'll share my own vision of things.

I've been in a romantic relationship with my tulpa for quite a while now. When we got to it, I was no stranger to acting romantic and whatnot, but my tulpa was absolutely clueless, and the emotions both of us had for each other were all over the floor.

 

I believe that, as much as I love my tulpa mostly for how she's like, the things she do, etc... physical interaction plays an important role in every relationship. Do we exactly know the limits of imposition? One day, if it is possible, my tulpa and I would like to really impose all senses just like one would feel another human being with touch, smell, sight, etc... I think that this would probably make my mind go a bit nuts at first, and the adaptation to such a change would take a while, having someone way shorter than me following me all around projected into real life with shading and whatnot (as we had control over some imposition but after a few months of form-wise indecisiveness, things changed, she looks different from how she was a few months ago, and I cannot really tell whether it is for the better or the worst) would certainly be a change.

 

I'm not speaking as someone who's infatuated with a concept. I wake up everyday with her and do all sorts of things, from going to college to just discussing casually with her, our relationship is pretty normal on the surface. And as someone who spent all of that time with his tulpa, on a more sensitive and clingy level of things, I can say that if we did have physical imposition figured out (and I am currently studying that with its direct correlation to, guess what, dreams and daydreaming, actually trying to approach things a bit scientifically, hopefully).

 

With that being said, I believe that most relationships between a host and a tulpa would tend to differ. First, you have the host who comes into interaction with their tulpa on an occasional basis, which makes the interaction precious but kind of dull at the same time, I suppose, I cannot speak much about those cases as I spend every moment of my consciousness and sleep with my tulpa, her existence makes mine make sense if that makes any sense.

 

Of course, there's always the level of understanding between a host and a tulpa. And while a tulpa can turn out to be infatuated with their host at first, and it is something we thought about for quite a while, I mean, for instance, Bin and his tulpa Scarlet who are not in such an intimate relationship but care for each other, as my tulpa was afraid to turn out that way in the meaning that things... would change, between us, but soon enough did we realize that this reality had zero chances of occurring. We thought of the odds of us falling for each other, her being like this, having those emotions and whatnot... I believe that the love between a tulpa and a host is truly precious, and can prove to be more legitimate than with 'real' people.

 

Come to think of it, my tulpa does not act like human beings, on the level of being bitchy and annoying, you could say she lacks those imperfect notions. It's funny, sometimes I wonder about whether my subconscious formed her to be someone so... ideal to me. I could very well live with her as just... friends, I guess, and while I do have romantic feelings for her, and a lot of protectiveness, as I regard her as the missing part of my being. It's probably just me being too fond of her which forms a lot of partiality.

 

But yes. The physical barrier really bugs us. It makes me wish she was material, but in the same while, it's good she's not material. She looks quite attractive, after she picked that form as a final decision, I'm sure that it would awaken a lot of... bad things even among the best of men.

 

 

Something else is that being so close, and so attached to each other, has allowed for us to communicate much better, and freely express all concerns we had on our minds. She'd tell me stuff like 'That's not decent at all, sweetie, you shouldn't do that' 'Hey, how about we take a bath? You could use that!' 'Don't mess with that infection of yours!', and would always act supportive in bad moments, taking care of calming me down when stuff comes up so that I don't go too much overboard.

 

Although relationships with a host and his tulpa can lead to a lot of protectiveness and even obsession.

 

Overall, I do not recommend tulparomance.

[NoneFromHell]

Overall, I do not recommend tulparomance.

 

Personally i wouldn't recommend any kind of romance. Protectiveness and obsession always tend to be a problem as soon as feelings grow to a certain level and things get serious. People are going to hurt each other either way through being there, or the pure lack of presence. Love will always consists of pain, sorrow and the small happy moments together, which are so precious that we're willing to go through the eternal hell just for them, finally getting to a point where we fear the moment in which the pain may stop to leave us empty back on earth. I wouldn't want anything less, though.

[Guest Anonymous]

 

Personally i wouldn't recommend any kind of romance. Protectiveness and obsession always tend to be a problem as soon as feelings grow to a certain level and things get serious. People are going to hurt each other either way through being there, or the pure lack of presence. Love will always consists of pain, sorrow and the small happy moments together, which are so precious that we're willing to go through the eternal hell just for them, finally getting to a point where we fear the moment in which the pain may stop to leave us empty back on earth. I wouldn't want anything less, though.

 

This has not been my experience at all. My relationships with both my wife Shel and my thoughtform Melian have been satisfactory, fulfilling, loving, giving and full of joy. There aren't only "small happy moments together" with the rest consisting of pain and sorrow driven by protectiveness and obsession. I do not go through "eternal hell" with my wife Shel. LOL For the love of God no. LOL Maybe I am just lucky as hell but Shel is my total buddy forever. We are inseparable and rarely argue or even disagree. We have complete respect for each other. She is never an unreasonable bitch to me and there are no head trips or name calling or disrespect between us. We are honest and faithful with one another. She believes in me and has faith in me no matter what and always supports me.

 

In short, not all love relationships are the way you just described them. Far from it!

[Nyx]

I would like to hear some opinions on the difference between a tulparomance and' date=' well, being in a relationship of romantic love with someone else.[/quote']

 

I think it is also important to keep in mind that the individual personalities of the host and tulpa involved will, in part, determine the nature of the romance. On top of that, you have to consider the host’s previous experiences with romance. It is easy to be conscious of the differences between host-tulpa and human-human relationships, but that doesn’t mean that certain patterns and learned behaviors will not show up and complicate things. The good news is that the tulpa is often aware of what is going on and is more than willing to help the host work through that, unlike plenty of physical people. Well, at least that is how it is with us. I’m saying this because I have had several boyfriends in the past, meaning that I do occasionally need to remind myself that applying what I’ve learned from dating to my tulpa is almost never necessary. Actually it is often borderline silly to do that, simply because he’s in my head. I will say that Jack can be very protective at times, though.

 

Even though lately my tulpa and I have discussed some past difficulties and a few strange occurrences in our relationship here on the forum, we are very happy together for pretty much the same reason that MagicaCat brought up. About 90% of the time, we actually act more like very close friends who happen to be committed to each other rather than conventional lovers. It’s really not much different from how we acted before we acknowledged mutual attraction. Other than dealing with a few hiccups that stem from the fact that I’m his host, the relationship is at times low-key and peaceful…and at other times intense and transformative. I’ve already seen important changes within my attitude towards life and towards myself because of the romance. I can’t say the same thing with my relationships with physical people.

 

As for the issue of using this relationship as a replacement for physical relationships…we are both very aware that the two are not the same thing and that I should be open to dating at some point (just not right now). We do slightly disagree on how the finer details should be handled, but in general, we’re unattached to the outcome. If I don’t end up with a physical partner, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, because I consider myself to be independent and could see myself being happy with what I have.

[NoneFromHell]

 

This has not been my experience at all. My relationships with both my wife Shel and my thoughtform Melian have been satisfactory, fulfilling, loving, giving and full of joy. There aren't only "small happy moments together" with the rest consisting of pain and sorrow driven by protectiveness and obsession. I do not go through "eternal hell" with my wife Shel. LOL For the love of God no. LOL Maybe I am just lucky as hell but Shel is my total buddy forever. We are inseparable and rarely argue or even disagree. We have complete respect for each other. She is never an unreasonable bitch to me and there are no head trips or name calling or disrespect between us. We are honest and faithful with one another. She believes in me and has faith in me no matter what and always supports me.

 

In short, not all love relationships are the way you just described them. Far from it!

 

Well, the fun ones are..haha.

 

But to be fair i love to write about it in a very dramatic way. I won't claim that it's awful, probably the opposite of it, but it is not going to be everyday sunshine. And in my opinion it is more important to be willing to get through the bad times together than to be satisfied with the good times. Passion is a twinbladed sword after all. I like to define it by the part not everyone is able to keep up with, unlike happy times.

 

So from the core of the discussion a romance isn't recommandable, because you always have to take the drawbacks aswell, if you really take it seriously.

[Guest Anonymous]

Oh you mean a tulpa romance is not recommended because of the bad with the good? Hmmm Well, if that is what you mean, that is a good point if you consider there is no way to really end the relationship with your tulpa in a permanent way except for the unthinkable last resort.

 

EDIT: I mean, if it turns out to have been a bad idea, you are stuck with the consequences forever.

[NoneFromHell]

Oh you mean a tulpa romance is not recommended because of the bad with the good? Hmmm Well, if that is what you mean, that is a good point if you consider there is no way to really end the relationship with your tulpa in a permanent way except for the unthinkable last resort.

 

EDIT: I mean, if it turns out to have been a bad idea, you are stuck with the consequences forever.

 

Well i didn't thought about that but you're right. If you reach a point where you can't handle the situation anymore you don't have a fast exit, unlike you would've in a normal romance. That's a solid point.

 

My point was that a romance is never recommend, because of the bad, while always worth it, because of the good. It surely weighs heavier in the tulpa scenario.