Esterina is away from me right now, in our wonderland I would assume, doing magic tricks for her own amusement, knowing her.
I actually did call her here to ask if she wants to hang out some more after our walk outside, but she told me she wants to be by herself a bit after spending so many hours together non-stop. Have some "alone time", as one would say.
And that gave me the idea of putting together this "advice set" on interacting and living with your tulpa. Or your tulpas, whatever it is for you.
I'd bring Esterina in to give her own advice too, but like I said, she's off relaxing in our wonderland right now, I guess. I don't wanna force her out of her alone time right now.
So I'll have her read it later, and she'll add something if she feels like it.
Also, I'll write this advice from a "host-perspective", but it can be used and applied by you tulpas out there too!
So you too should give it a read.
-----------------------
"You're not me. And I'm sure as hell not you."
This is something that, from the short time I've been hanging out on tulpa.info, I feel some don't get. But it's something I understood almost immediately, and respected almost immediately.
Your tulpa is not, I repeat, not an imaginary friend. You read it in the bigger guides, didn't you?
Your tulpa has his / her / its (I will use the gender-neutral "it" from now on; some tulpas don't have a gender, after all) own personality.
Its own moods, its own feelings, its own view of the world (especially over time), and you need to respect that.
It seems to me that there are people who treat them as conceptualizations of their favorite characters, a way to escape loneliness, or just treat them as an imaginary friend.
But that's just wrong, see?
It's as much a real person as you are, even if it doesn't have a physical body in the real world.
You're sad sometimes. Right? Sometimes you want your opinion to be heard. And sometimes you feel lonely. Hell, sometimes you're all crazy and you wanna spend an entire afternoon listening to music, doing nothing!
Guess what, so does your tulpa.
Ask your tulpa for its opinion. Or did it maybe ever ask you for your opinion, for advice, or it just wanted you to listen?
Your tulpa is your friend; it's not its job to be there for you. It's not your job to be there for it either.
You're friends.
I don't need to explain to you what a friend is, right? Not to mention a friend who's that close to you, like no other friend could ever be.
Be there for each other, have fun with each other, and truly get to know and understand each other.
I feel that this is the most important thing, more important than any imposition or visualization or auditory hallucinations.
Let your tulpa be what it is: A living, thinking being. And a true friend.
-----------------------
"Yer face looks like a vacant parking lot. What're ya thinkin' 'bout?"
I'm against sharing every thought, memory and emotion with Esterina and vice-versa.
And she shares that opinion. We don't do that. We will allow each other to do so when we feel like it, but in general, we keep out of each other's head.
Why?
Personal space. Again, you're both real people. Even if you're both fine with sharing a lot all the time, my personal opinion is still that it's sorta better to not constantly share everything. Think about it - isn't a conversation more meaningful when both sides have their heads closed off to each other, like it would be with any other normal human? Isn't it exciting to get to know someone more and more even after weeks, months or even years? Isn't it fun to not know what the other one thinks, doesn't it make social interaction so unpredictably enjoyable in the first place?
I can't begin to count how often, in just these two days since we started talking, Esterina made fun of me, surprised me, was being silly or made a joke, or simply asked me something or gave me her own opinion -
- and it's fun, it's natural! It's what a friendship should be like!
Again, this goes into treating your tulpa for what it is, a separate person.
This is really more personal advice to an extent, but also general advice to a different extent.
Take this advice and make of it what you will, but take it to heart. Especially if you're, like me, new to it, and, unlike me, a bit lost on how to deal with your tulpa.
And how would you have your tulpa stay out of your head?
Well - hellooo, we just talked about it! Your tulpa is a person, a real, thinking being. Just ask it to!
All I did, personally, was to tell Esterina that I'd prefer if she wouldn't just rummage through my head, and that I trust her in that she won't do it. Simple as that, and she agreed. That's all there is to it - talk!
All you need is trust in each other, the thing that is a requirement for working together in tulpa-forcing in the first place.
-----------------------
"Hey, I'll be gone for a bit, aight?"
This is advice that I deem more important than you might think.
Don't be afraid to leave each other alone sometimes.
Your tulpa won't die from being alone for a few hours or so, and your host won't start feeling awful if you're not there for a while.
(If they do, well, then maybe you should have a talk with them, because they seem to have some issues with loneliness and maybe depression. Not making fun of anyone here, I went through that myself for many years.)
Again, you're both real people.
You, dear host, don't stick around your human friends twenty-four seven, right? Of course you don't. You'd get absolutely sick of them, and your friendship might even break.
Your friendship might even break.
Yeah, from what I read in personal stories about people "splitting up" with their tulpas, what I read between the lines is often times just being... full of each other.
Again, treat each other for what you are. Sure, your relationship is one that would go as supernatural or literally-insane to people who don't know what it is, but what it breaks down to is a very close, intimate friendship.
Everyone wants to be alone sometimes.
Everyone needs privacy, from everyone.
This starts with things like sitting on the pot and ends with really private things like masturbation or sex (with another human in this case, of course).
Everyone needs alone time, and this is a reason why I feel that wonderlands are such a good thing. It's such a neat little place for your tulpa to bugger off to. Hell, I'm sure Rina wouldn't appreciate having to sit around in the kitchen on the other side of that wall there.
With our wonderland, she has a place where she can bugger off to if any of the two of us wants some alone time. Wants some privacy.
And also...
... like I said, it's okay for you to feel that way, whether you're a host or tulpa.
Just now, like I said above, Esterina declined the offer to hang out some more. She felt like being by herself for a bit.
And guess what? That's completely fine.
-----------------------
-----------------------
That's all!
Again, I'll have Rina read through this and hopefully add her own viewpoints, so that there's also something in there "from the other side".
Until then, I hope this is helpful, and that it gets approved!
Question
Guest Anonymous
Hey.
Esterina is away from me right now, in our wonderland I would assume, doing magic tricks for her own amusement, knowing her.
I actually did call her here to ask if she wants to hang out some more after our walk outside, but she told me she wants to be by herself a bit after spending so many hours together non-stop. Have some "alone time", as one would say.
And that gave me the idea of putting together this "advice set" on interacting and living with your tulpa. Or your tulpas, whatever it is for you.
I'd bring Esterina in to give her own advice too, but like I said, she's off relaxing in our wonderland right now, I guess. I don't wanna force her out of her alone time right now.
So I'll have her read it later, and she'll add something if she feels like it.
Also, I'll write this advice from a "host-perspective", but it can be used and applied by you tulpas out there too!
So you too should give it a read.
-----------------------
"You're not me. And I'm sure as hell not you."
This is something that, from the short time I've been hanging out on tulpa.info, I feel some don't get. But it's something I understood almost immediately, and respected almost immediately.
Your tulpa is not, I repeat, not an imaginary friend. You read it in the bigger guides, didn't you?
Your tulpa has his / her / its (I will use the gender-neutral "it" from now on; some tulpas don't have a gender, after all) own personality.
Its own moods, its own feelings, its own view of the world (especially over time), and you need to respect that.
It seems to me that there are people who treat them as conceptualizations of their favorite characters, a way to escape loneliness, or just treat them as an imaginary friend.
But that's just wrong, see?
It's as much a real person as you are, even if it doesn't have a physical body in the real world.
You're sad sometimes. Right? Sometimes you want your opinion to be heard. And sometimes you feel lonely. Hell, sometimes you're all crazy and you wanna spend an entire afternoon listening to music, doing nothing!
Guess what, so does your tulpa.
Ask your tulpa for its opinion. Or did it maybe ever ask you for your opinion, for advice, or it just wanted you to listen?
Your tulpa is your friend; it's not its job to be there for you. It's not your job to be there for it either.
You're friends.
I don't need to explain to you what a friend is, right? Not to mention a friend who's that close to you, like no other friend could ever be.
Be there for each other, have fun with each other, and truly get to know and understand each other.
I feel that this is the most important thing, more important than any imposition or visualization or auditory hallucinations.
Let your tulpa be what it is: A living, thinking being. And a true friend.
-----------------------
"Yer face looks like a vacant parking lot. What're ya thinkin' 'bout?"
I'm against sharing every thought, memory and emotion with Esterina and vice-versa.
And she shares that opinion. We don't do that. We will allow each other to do so when we feel like it, but in general, we keep out of each other's head.
Why?
Personal space. Again, you're both real people. Even if you're both fine with sharing a lot all the time, my personal opinion is still that it's sorta better to not constantly share everything. Think about it - isn't a conversation more meaningful when both sides have their heads closed off to each other, like it would be with any other normal human? Isn't it exciting to get to know someone more and more even after weeks, months or even years? Isn't it fun to not know what the other one thinks, doesn't it make social interaction so unpredictably enjoyable in the first place?
I can't begin to count how often, in just these two days since we started talking, Esterina made fun of me, surprised me, was being silly or made a joke, or simply asked me something or gave me her own opinion -
- and it's fun, it's natural! It's what a friendship should be like!
Again, this goes into treating your tulpa for what it is, a separate person.
This is really more personal advice to an extent, but also general advice to a different extent.
Take this advice and make of it what you will, but take it to heart. Especially if you're, like me, new to it, and, unlike me, a bit lost on how to deal with your tulpa.
And how would you have your tulpa stay out of your head?
Well - hellooo, we just talked about it! Your tulpa is a person, a real, thinking being. Just ask it to!
All I did, personally, was to tell Esterina that I'd prefer if she wouldn't just rummage through my head, and that I trust her in that she won't do it. Simple as that, and she agreed. That's all there is to it - talk!
All you need is trust in each other, the thing that is a requirement for working together in tulpa-forcing in the first place.
-----------------------
"Hey, I'll be gone for a bit, aight?"
This is advice that I deem more important than you might think.
Don't be afraid to leave each other alone sometimes.
Your tulpa won't die from being alone for a few hours or so, and your host won't start feeling awful if you're not there for a while.
(If they do, well, then maybe you should have a talk with them, because they seem to have some issues with loneliness and maybe depression. Not making fun of anyone here, I went through that myself for many years.)
Again, you're both real people.
You, dear host, don't stick around your human friends twenty-four seven, right? Of course you don't. You'd get absolutely sick of them, and your friendship might even break.
Your friendship might even break.
Yeah, from what I read in personal stories about people "splitting up" with their tulpas, what I read between the lines is often times just being... full of each other.
Again, treat each other for what you are. Sure, your relationship is one that would go as supernatural or literally-insane to people who don't know what it is, but what it breaks down to is a very close, intimate friendship.
Everyone wants to be alone sometimes.
Everyone needs privacy, from everyone.
This starts with things like sitting on the pot and ends with really private things like masturbation or sex (with another human in this case, of course).
Everyone needs alone time, and this is a reason why I feel that wonderlands are such a good thing. It's such a neat little place for your tulpa to bugger off to. Hell, I'm sure Rina wouldn't appreciate having to sit around in the kitchen on the other side of that wall there.
With our wonderland, she has a place where she can bugger off to if any of the two of us wants some alone time. Wants some privacy.
And also...
... like I said, it's okay for you to feel that way, whether you're a host or tulpa.
Just now, like I said above, Esterina declined the offer to hang out some more. She felt like being by herself for a bit.
And guess what? That's completely fine.
-----------------------
-----------------------
That's all!
Again, I'll have Rina read through this and hopefully add her own viewpoints, so that there's also something in there "from the other side".
Until then, I hope this is helpful, and that it gets approved!
Greets,
AG
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