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{It's a good idea, as long as you can take care of her responsibilities. She just needs a vacation. That's all.}

Elise: Female Skykitty, 2 Years Old (10/28/12) Stage: Visualization

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Guest Anonymous

If she is planning to kill herself that sounds like a lot more than needing a vacation maybe! I would suggest that she not go to her wonderland at all. I would suggest she talks to someone about it she can trust. The next time she is feeling suicidal, she needs to go the doctor (even the ER doctor) and seek help. She should say to the doctor "I want to kill myself and I don't know how to stop it." In some places there is suicide prevention services you can call or visit and get counseling. She should not keep this to herself or withdraw. That is the wrong thing to do!

 

When you are depressed and suicidal you think you are helpless and hopeless and have no options. You feel you are trapped. She is not trapped, she is not helpless and she is not hopeless. TALK TO SOMEONE she can trust. Tell someone.

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I feel you. I was with my host during her fight with depression. It's scary, and it sucks. Stay with her. You're probably the best thing she has right now. Give her something to care about, a reason to stay here.

 

The biggest advice I have: convince her to try to find help. Depression is not just going to go away by giving her a little downtime. It's like being stuck in a deep hole, able to see the light above you but unable to climb out yourself. So you need to find someone who can throw her a rope.

 

Does she have family she can confide in? Friends? More than that, is professional help an option? Or maybe even a suicide hotline?

 

It's scary to reach out for help, I know, but this is something that one person cannot handle alone, and this should not be on your shoulders as the tulpa either. A professional can give them the tools they need to feel better, whether that's in the form of drugs to fix messed up brain chemistry or in the form of mental exercises to help fight off the more toxic thoughts. Having a dedicated therapist helped my host a lot. She still uses some of the tools she was taught to handle things.

 

So stick with her. Don't give up on her. Depression is a lying ass, and it can make people believe some pretty effed up things. And keep pressing the "tell somebody"angle. It may take days or months to convince her, but don't give up until you do.

~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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I don't know the exact details, but I used to be in a similar scenario as well, where I was depressed and thought about suicide.

 

In my case being depressed also meant that I had a grim view of life and thought nobody would miss me and I had no worth at all. I didn't even think about asking for help, because I thought that the world will be better without me.

 

Of course getting professional help would probably be a good thing, but if you can't get her to get help by others, then you should support him as much as you can, because you're the one who understand him the most. In my opinion you shouldn't force him to get help too much, because it might backfire, BUT you should still try within reason.

 

I don't have a tulpa yet, so I can't speak out of experience , but if you are good at posession and your wonderland really is as great as you describe it, then in my opinion you should give it a try. It would be like playing a videogame I guess, it will take her mind off of the real world problems, and may change her view on life. But if you experience that it has any negative effects, you should stop.

 

Stay strong and I wish you both the best!

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This doesn't sound like anything that can be solved by switching - that's just temporarily pushing the problem away. Let the people around you know about the suicidal thoughts and seek treatment.

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Combination switching when absolutely necessary and just helping them emotionally/mentally over time. Nothing will be solved if all you do is take over her life, she simply won't be living her life anymore. But "supplementary switching" can be useful. I have extreme motivation issues and occasionally Tewi has to front for a while just to make sure I don't fail out of college (This is very planned and forethought, though, not "emergencies"). But see, if she simply lived my life for me, it wouldn't be mine anymore. So I work with all of my tulpas to try and solve my problems (because they're basically all better than me at something). It's a lot harder than just giving up and letting someone else do it, but it's a lot healthier and more worth it in the end.

 

I can probably speak for all my tulpas in saying, it feels really good to look back and know that you've helped someone so much, despite all the struggles. And you won't get that satisfaction if you let her give up and live for her. Just when absolutely necessary, alright?

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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If she is planning to kill herself that sounds like a lot more than needing a vacation maybe! I would suggest that she not go to her wonderland at all. I would suggest she talks to someone about it she can trust. The next time she is feeling suicidal, she needs to go the doctor (even the ER doctor) and seek help. She should say to the doctor "I want to kill myself and I don't know how to stop it." In some places there is suicide prevention services you can call or visit and get counseling. She should not keep this to herself or withdraw. That is the wrong thing to do!

 

When you are depressed and suicidal you think you are helpless and hopeless and have no options. You feel you are trapped. She is not trapped, she is not helpless and she is not hopeless. TALK TO SOMEONE she can trust. Tell someone.

 

THIS!! All of this. I could not have said it better, Groovy-guru.

 

I had a little sister that was suicidally depressed and the worst thing you can do for someone in that situation is enable them. I know it feels like you'd be giving your host a break until she can get better, but by letting her recede into your wonderland you would only make the real world seem worse when she eventually has to come back out.

 

You need to get your host to a psychologist! Depression isn't cured, and rarely is it helped, but just talking it out. It's a genuine problem in the brain that requires professional treatments and therapy. Please, for the sake of your host, yourself, and your host's loved ones, do you you need to to get her help. :<

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

-Arthur Conan Doyle

 

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Be sure one of you points out to her parents that "because of adolescence" is not a reason to discount suicidal thoughts. Adolescence is a time of hormones making everything go haywire, on top of the compounding stresses of figuring out that whole "adulthood" thing. Sixteen was when my host's depression was hardest for her to deal with; it was when she most needed help.

 

I suspect that if they knew the extent of the damage she's doing to herself, her parents will know they need to take action. Cutting is NEVER okay.

 

On another note, I do the "supplemental switching" thing Lumi talked about, since my host is bad with anxiety and stress management. It can be nice for the host to be able to skive off into the head sometimes... but it's not the sort of thing I'd recommend making a habit of. If she starts to disconnect from the real world, then you have a new set of problems on top of the depression. When I switch in, it's usually more about me clearing stressers out of the environment than about giving her a break. I usually can take care of a few things that are stressing her out--even if it's just a few chores--and that allows her to come back and tackle the rest. It's about sharing the load, and working with her rather than instead of her.

 

Pretty much what Lumi said, really. And more eloquently than I did, so go read Lumi's post again to get my point. XP

~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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First, thank you for all the answers.

 

I'm trying to make her ask for help, she has been in the psychologist before because of other causes, so I've told her that it could help her if she visit her again, she only said 'I'll think about it'.

 

Currently, her parents and one of her friends knows about her depression but they don't take seriously her suicidal thoughts,

 

Woah, there. Stop the camera roll.

 

This is very a similiar version of (if not the exact) the stuff I went through.

 

If your host doesn't have anyone who takes her seriously, and I know that this is possible, she probably should start looking for help herself. I know that this can be very hard for lots of people, but she has you to help her. Suicide hotlines, free help sites on the internet, (some of these are run by professionals) heck, even self help books. Get whatever you can.

 

You don't know if her situation is caused by chemical inbalance or other factors. If the first one is the case, then your host might need medication. You guys need to hold out to really get to the root of the issue.

 

 

she's just 16 so they think that is just because of the adolescence, but I know this is serious, I saw how her cut herself, even if I've tried to stop her, and she had been about cut her veins, but fortunately she never had the courage to do that.

Ignorant parents. If they really aren't doing anything, she could try and seriously talk to them about it. She could also tell them that she tried to hurt herself, but this can be very risky.

 

 

About switch, I had been thinking that it would be good switch with her sometimes, like one hour per day, just for clear her mind a bit.

 

This could be useful AFTER you get to the root of the issue, but I believe it wouldn't do anything other than even further supporting the (most likely) present need to escape now.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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I can't believe nobody has mentioned the suicide prevention hotline:

 

1 (800) 273-8255

 

Call anytime, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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