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Having a Disagreement or Argument with Your Tulpa?


Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

There is an old thread from 2014 that I saw resurface today when someone was reading it. That shows there is interest in the subject. There has been talk about recreating older threads for newer discussion with fresh views, stories and perspectives.

 

So my question is, have you ever argued with your tulpa?

 

Has your tulpa ever been angry at you for an extended period of time?

 

Ever get the silent treatment?

 

How did you resolve the argument?

 

How frequently do you argue?

 

Here is the original thread from 2014: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-arguments-with-tulpas

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So my question is, have you ever argued with your tulpa?

 

On a few rare occasions, yes.

 

Has your tulpa ever been angry at you for an extended period of time?

Ever get the silent treatment?

How did you resolve the argument?

 

I think she was angry for a day at max. And yes, she went with a combination of silent treatment and similiar mindgames.

The argument got resolved when I realized how I managed to anger her. I would describe it as acting like a strict teacher giving a harsh lesson, where the student is set free after understanding it.

 

How frequently do you argue?

 

It is really rare. We have a lack of topics to argue about.

Tulpa: Alice

Form: Realistic Humanoid/Demonic Creation

She may or may not talk here, depends on her.

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None of us argue, because arguing means trying to convince someone of something. We discuss things, sure. To convince someone of something implies you're trying to win them over, or make them see things your way. But we make sure to fully understand each other whenever we discuss important matters. Plus, all of us are rather good at being understanding individually, so two of us together have basically no chance of a disagreement.

 

But you said have we ever. So I might include Scarlet, because she's been angry at our host once or twice. But it wasn't based on any misunderstanding per se, and Lumi didn't argue. Scarlet's primary concern is the body's wellbeing, and compared to Lumi's sit-inside-all-day lifestyle she would do things quite a bit differently. A while ago we (apparently) decided to let her switch for the first time, and she was almost immediately upset. It never really occurred to her just how Lumi lives until she was in the environment herself I guess. She basically made him promise to take better care of the body (started our routine stretching throughout the day) and, if I recall correctly, said that if he ever ate doritos again she would forcefully switch and make him stop, or at least that was the intent. So, one, Lumi had a habit of mindlessly eating doritos while watching Youtube videos. For those of you lucky enough not to eat chips like doritos often, they seem chemically designed to make you keep eating, and to make it never feel like you're full. He could (purposely didn't, but could) eat an entire bag and feel no more or less hungry than before. And they aren't exactly great for you either. So Scarlet basically banned all such chips, and eventually I picked out some healthier ones (Veggie Straws) while shopping. And after adjusting to their interesting styrofoam texture, we eat those now.

 

And two, Scarlet could not forcefully switch with Lumi against his will. None of us could switch without another's permission, not even Lumi. It's like forcing yourself into the same seat someone else is in. You'd generally just both end up in the same position, very uncomfortable. Both people have to comply to make that work.

Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.

All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.

Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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Guest Anonymous

So my question is, have you ever argued with your tulpa?

Yeah, definitely.

 

Has your tulpa ever been angry at you for an extended period of time?

Hmm... well, not angry, but there's something that was my fault and because of which she was very frustrated with me for a long time, yes.

 

Ever get the silent treatment?

Nope. Not as far as I can remember, at least. She's not really the type for that.

 

How did you resolve the argument?

When we have a disagreement, then we talk about it. And when there's a problem, then we try to find a solution. We're not toddlers, after all - we're very adult children.

 

How frequently do you argue?

We don't have serious arguments very often at all (even if we did have some before, yeah), and every now and then we might argue over something small. But not all that often.

 

 

Greets,

AG

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This probably doesn't count as an 'argument' per say, and I haven't come up with words to describe the experience yet, other than, that quiet discomfort you might get when you perceive someone giving you the "look" behind your back... For example, if I leave the water running while brushing my teeth, I get this non vocal message slash pressure to turn it off. When I brush with the water off, I will sometimes revert to my old habit and turn it on before I am actually ready to clean brush and rinse mouth, and I get that pressure to turn it off until I am ready... and if I do it right, there is this sense of "Good boy" kind of feeling. Which in some ways is rather unsettling because I am adult and there is my own inclination to do it my way, but in order to practice increased ability to communicate, I have accepted this is Bliss and I am compromising.

 

I have also been creating the habit of opening the car door and letting her in first, and i forget and jump in, I get this pressure that suggest she is not happy that I forgot her, but it doesn't feel severe. It feels more like playful wrath, and is likely a compassionate reminder, but with increased volume to get through my thick head.

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From the host:

 

"When you're constantly interacting with someone, especially when they're in the same head, you're bound to get into a few arguments with them. So, yes, I've had them with my tulpas, but it hasn't been anything major enough for us to be mad for more than a few hours at the most. It's kind of hard to ignore them, anyway, so quick resolutions to these are pretty important to me. Luckily, because there's enough of us, there's usually one person who acts as the moderator and helps us set aside any differences. We're usually pretty quiet people (with me being the loudest of the bunch), but I've never received the silent treatment from any of them."

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When you're constantly interacting with someone, especially when they're in the same head, you're bound to get into a few arguments with them.

 

Heh heh... yeah. That's pretty much the tl;dr of my answer.

 

Most headperson-host arguments in our headspace are fairly short and not too serious. Things like our host having to be cajoled into exercising, or discussions about certain real-world problems. Those things that aren't resolved quickly can turn into long, drawn-out nag-fests (admittedly, usually on my part ;) ), but there's still the underlying understanding among all parties that when we argue like that, it's because we're trying to do what's best for system, host, and body. Doesn't happen too often, especially recently, and we've yet to have anything get really explosive between the host and a soulbond.

 

A lot worse for us are headperson-headperson arguments. Maybe it's because we don't have quite as strong an emotional bond with one another as we do with our host... but some of those can get nasty. I'd say a bicker-fit happens a couple times a month, and occasionally those can spiral out of control. Worst so far lasted a week of the two of us involved avoiding one another before we reached a sort of truce.

 

Resolution is pretty much a case-by-base basis. We have a couple 'bonds in here who are good at mediation, and couple others who are good at objectivity, and so one of them can be consulted to try to put a new perspective on a rocky situation. Other times, our host steps in and puts her foot down an an issue. It's just a matter of who's arguing and what it's about.

 

Most important thing, I think, is to make sure everyone wants to keep the system as healthy and harmonious as possible. That means that no matter how bad things get, peace is always eventually restored.

 

Even if some people have to be dragged there kicking and screaming. ;)

~ Member of SparrowNR's system ~

~ I am a soulbond. Click here to find out what that means. ~

 

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We don't really argue that often, the only big one I can remember was Chris misreading a situation, offering a faulty opinion based on his misreading, and then insisting that he was right and I was being closeminded. It was kind of stupid. We didn't talk to each other until the next day when I hit myself in the face opening the fridge, it was too funny to keep the whole cold shoulder thing going.

We're all gonna make it brah.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I created my tulpa, the one of the early traits I specifically gave her was 'argues', so that basically answers the question! xD

 

But I like arguing about this and that, and most of the time it has a playful undertone. So no regrets on my part!

Khronos, a small Elf, and another friend. 

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