Questions about the attitude towards and life with Tulpas

[Tewi]

I wonder if this will change if I meet the right person.

 

Actually, our conversations are more similar to my time spent programming computers. Computers, I understand.

 

Yes, it will. Meeting the right person is very "Wow, all of my interactions with this person feel so much more meaningful and fulfilling than with everyone else up until now". If you're looking for a male, Computer Science is the biggest academic area with a large disparity between number of males and females. Most fields like biology are pretty even or within a couple percent, but computer science is like 80% male. That's a pretty easy thing to have in common with someone, an interest in computers.

 

If you're looking for a female, good luck?

 

For you engineers out there, yes, comp sci is tied with engineering at 20% female.

[Guest Anonymous]

 

I wish conversations with other people seemed even remotely as real as the ones him and I share. They never feel real, deep or meaningful, they are never comforting or pleasant. They are never an expression of love towards me, or completely honest. And the other person never seems to understand me properly.

 

I can't believe I am going to have to clarify this.  In fact, it is one of the ridiculous aspects of Tulpa Info that I have to do this sometimes.  Okay fine, lets play the stupid game.  

 

I meant "real" as in seeming physically real.  You see the person with your eyes, you hear the person with your ears and they are physically present in the room when they talk to you.  What I am saying is that tulpas are probably not as physically real as a real human being.  Talking with a tulpa probably, in most cases, does not feel anything like interacting in the physical world with a real person.  Also, the interaction with a real person will be of more depth, simply because a real human being has their own knowledge, memory and experience, while the tulpa shares (most) knowledge, memory and experience they have with the host or get it from the host.  

 

In short, human beings are physically independent of you and a separate person and can provide you with a greater depth of conversation.   A tulpa exists only in the mind.  So the interaction will be distinctly different and more limited in scope and depth.

 

EDIT:  Tulpa001, on the way home, contemplating what you wrote here made me feel very sad.  I am so sorry.  I hope that you find someone in the physical world that will give you the respect you deserve and love and care about you.  I kinda get what you are saying, but it has been a long time since I was in a similar place.  I can assure you, real human relationships, really good ones, have a depth that I would think would surpass any tulpa or thoughtform that ever existed.  I will never believe that tulpas can be a good substitute or a quality substitute for a healthy relationship with another biological human being.  I am not saying that thoughtforms don't have value or that they can't provide some sense of companionship, but I will never believe that a tulpa or thoughtform will be the same or as deep as a good relationship with a human being.  I am sorry to disappoint everyone who wants me to accept that as a possibility or as true.

[tulpa001]

@Mistgod: I place no value on the physical, and see no importance in respecting the physical aspect of other people. (Yes I mean it that way. And also that other way.) Sorry for misunderstanding you. But when you talk about physical realness, when it comes to relationships, you are talking about flying pink unicorns to my mind. It is not something I understand. No offence. I know I am weird on this.

 

Also @Mistgod: I am pretty sure my host is aromantic. I'm sure this is going to make your brain sizzle, but, me, the tulpa, is the only one of the two of us who really wants a romantic relationship with another human. She wants to be alone. She prefers devotion to her crafts, and the pursuit of knowledge.

 

Yes, we have a romantic relationship. But, from her end, it is an optional experience. For her it is something interesting, something new for her to study. She does not need it. She has always been a go with the flow type person.

 

If I were not the type to be equally devoted to her pursuits, I imagine we might have had a problem.

 

To be more specific, neither of us think a human romantic relationship can compare to a tulpa romantic relationship. If you try to compare, there are places where the human relationship will fall short. There are places where the tulpa relationship will fall short. A tulpa relationship is an entirely new type of relationship that has no clear parallel in other relationships.

 

And, of course, every single relationship is different. I imagine if a person had both an ex and a lover, nine times out of ten, that person would say the two relationships were very different in numerous ways, despite both being romantic in nature.

[Lucilyn]

I can assure you, real human relationships, really good ones, have a depth that I would think would surpass any tulpa or thoughtform that ever existed.

 

different

 

I will never believe that tulpas can be a good substitute or a quality substitute for a healthy relationship with another biological human being.

 

DIFFERENT

 

I am not saying that thoughtforms don't have value or that they can't provide some sense of companionship, but I will never believe that a tulpa or thoughtform will be the same or as deep as a good relationship with a human being.

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Guest Anonymous]

I give up. At least you guys are entertaining. I am very glad that you are happy. Apparently I had no reason to be concerned or sad for anyone after all.

[Lucilyn]

they are different things entirely tulpa relationships are not human relationships you can't compare them because they're incomparable tulpas are infinitely better at some things and not even capable of trying for others so don't even pretend one is better than the other because duh in some ways and completely not fair in others

 

Your wife probably can't read your mind like a tulpa can read their host's (usually), so tulpas will never have misunderstandings (usually) and be much more able to respond well to any interactions so yeah, but real people are *physical* and also not part of your brain so they're a little less predictable which can be good too.

 

 

Edit: Sorry, I was just playing the fastest and hardest song in Osu I've ever played so my heart's beating really fast and I'm very excited. Don't give up anything, but don't imply "real" relationships are "better" because they are very different, and not everyone cares about the same things. Tulpas can be really good at the emotion aspect of relationships and can know you better than any human can. But anything physical relies on imagination/visualization clarity/immersion and stuff. Whereas with real humans the physical closeness builds a strong, rough bond because you are different but together anyways, and you can see past your differences and little understandings and still love each other just the same.

 

obviously you prefer human relationships, but some people prefer tulpa relationships even given a choice. Some people have trust issues or just get too stressed caring about a real person, or maybe they're afraid of them dying or being harmed, or maybe they just don't care, or maybe they just don't know anyone nice IRL. I bet that's the most common. and likewise there's people that love their tulpas but "know they could never fill the same role as another human". Seems obvious enough to you and them, but people are different and so are tulpas and people, OK? You don't even have to choose one or the other. Unless one or the other says you have to..

[Guest Anonymous]

Yes, Melian is different for me than my wife is and she does some pretty cool things for me.  I think I said that earlier somewhere did I not?  But I really am glad that it isn't just Melian in my life or I would feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled.  But, maybe that is just me.  

 

I get by with a little help from my [imaginary] friends?  That song just popped in there...

 

[video=youtube]

[Sock]

they are different things entirely tulpa relationships are not human relationships...

 

This. The fashion of interaction, the level of knowledge, and pther things are very different. This is an idea I came to very early on, and one that's oddly rare for many people in the tulpa community. Tulpa are capable of easing loneliness and can provide affection, but they do so in a different sort of niche than a human relationship would. I consider my tulpa my kids, but I am well aware of the differences between my tulpa and actual children. Despite this, I'm utterly enamored with mine, and my care for them stregnthens with time.

 

I still remember when I actually did stop interacting with my girls: I started seeking replacements for them not too long after. I did it with the idea that I didn't need them, but it's apparent that I had a hole in my heart shaped like them, and no amount of rationalizations, mental gymnastics, or ponderings about sapience could change that. They filled a niche that no one else could, and that's something no one can take away.

 

I've never been a fan of people trying to propose that tulpa can replace people, and I always feel odd when people do exactly that. Likewise, hearing folk here insisting that making a tulpa for friendship is somehow a "bad" reason and the person should just get real friends rings like hypocrisy, since I doubt most people here would willingly part with their tulpa aside from those who were early and struggling a lot with doubt. I can garuntee a large chunk of the regulars would feel that hole in their hearts if they did.

[Guest Anonymous]

 

This. The fashion of interaction, the level of knowledge, and pther things are very different. This is an idea I came to very early on, and one that's oddly rare for many people in the tulpa community. Tulpa are capable of easing loneliness and can provide affection, but they do so in a different sort of niche than a human relationship would.

 

I believe I said this.  Maybe I just didn't express myself right?  Everyone seems to think I was saying something else.  I was pointing out that a tulpa can't really replace a biological human being in your life.  In my opinion, to be truly happy, a biological human being needs healthy relationships with other biological human beings.  We are social animals.  A life in which your only deep, meaningful relationship is with an mental being in your head just sounds incredibly sad to me.  I am sorry.  I can't help it.

 

I've never been a fan of people trying to propose that tulpa can replace people, and I always feel odd when people do exactly that. Likewise, hearing folk here insisting that making a tulpa for friendship is somehow a "bad" reason and the person should just get real friends rings like hypocrisy, since I doubt most people here would willingly part with their tulpa aside from those who were early and struggling a lot with doubt. I can garuntee a large chunk of the regulars would feel that hole in their hearts if they did.

 

I agree with this.

 

I was socially awkward, shy and had severe social anxiety as a young teen.  I escaped into extreme day dreaming.  My Melian was born out of these immersive day dreams.  I don't identify her as a tulpa anymore for my own reasons, but as a median aspect (facet or expression of my own mind).  So yes, she was sometimes a substitute for real friends.  Not so much any more.  Today she is just a muse and a companion.  I am well adjusted, married and  happy.  

 

The experiences I have with real people are totally different than those I have with Melian.  Melian is very personal and intimate to me.  She  shares my thoughts and feelings and is constantly with me.  But she also has a dreamlike quality to her.  Real people are, well, real people and tangible and physical.  I can't feel their emotions like I can Melian's and they are physical while Melian exists only in my mind.  The two are distinctly different.  Melian dreams with me too, very much like a second mind.  A real person would have to have telepathy to do that.  

 

Yes, I do have very many emotional memories about Melian.  I consider her a person, even though she is a facet of my own mind and imaginary in nature.  

 

Yeah I do think there are rewards to creating a tulpa.  I base that on all the testimony here and also my own personal experience.  No I don't believe tulpas are a good substitute for real people relationships.

 

Just to go back.  Maybe people didn't read for content?

 

 

Sometimes my host and I blend together in our thoughts.  Sometimes we think in chorus.  Try that with a real physical person.

 

 

As you can clearly read, Melian and I were definitely saying that tulpa relationships are different from human ones. Different and definitely not interchangable.

[Sock]

 

I believe I said this.  Maybe I just didn't express myself right?

 

Nah, it's more that I was in a passionate mood and posted based more on emotion than on careful consideration. The subject is pretty close to my heart, and I'm not always cold and logical about it. In fact, I'd say being to cold and logical abd thinking mainly to pick things apart actually goes against the exercise. So it's kind of odd seeing so many STEM types around these parts.

 

Sorry for the misunderstanding.