Questions about the attitude towards and life with Tulpas

[Some Kind Of Robot]

I've been lurking Tulpa stuff since about 2012 and have tried many, many, many times to make a Tulpa of my own, but its never really gone well. Its been a few years since my last attempt and I want to give it another try, but as Im getting back into the swing of things I came into a problem I've never had before: I just can't see the reason why.

 

I understand there is a plethora of threads asking "Why make a Tulpa" and asking for motivation, but that’s not what Im tryin' to ask here. If we see Tulpas as people, which I hope we all do, what is there to seek in Tulpas that we cannot seek in people?

 

Now, I'm not the most popular guy around but I have plenty of friends, but they don’t give me that feeling that a Tulpa would, but now that’s gone. I feel like maybe the novelty of it eroded, and time just started chipping away at the concept as a whole. I really want to make a Tulpa, and I don't even know why anymore. I see Tulpas as a really wonderful thing that Im really lucky to know about, and for a long time I've wanted to enjoy the company of my own.

 

So I’d like to ask a few questions to kick myself back into gear and set some things straight in my head:

 

• When you made your Tulpa originally, did you have many friends and wanted something more, or did you use it to substitute human friends?
  

 

• Does the reason you originally made your Tulpa still apply and effect you to this day?
  

 

• Are the experiences you have with your Tulpa as special and memorable as those spent with human friends (To clarify a little more, do you have those memories that make you feel that deep pit in your chest, really moving moments? I feel like something like that would be really hard with a Tulpa, considering its all in the mind, making it really hard for a moment to just take you away)
  

 

• What would you say to someone on the cusp of doing this thing like me? Im not asking should I make a Tulpa, and I'm not necessarily asking for motivation either, Im saying would you say this experience can overall add to life in a special way. And I really don’t want anyone reading this to think I am asking you to justify Tulpas. Inherently I think Tulpas are a wonderful thing that just in nature make life better. What im trying to ask here is how do they make life better, not in the tacky "Help with memory" type of way, but in a real down to earth human sense. Does it feel like you're just talking to a humanized extension of yourself or is it something more real? Is this something that you can look back in fondness of and look forward in anticipation, or is it more of just a project? What im basically asking here are Tulpas the right thing for a person looking for something deeply and humanly moving, and not just a new friend that looks like anything I want them to look like.
  

(I hate to make this wall of text even higher but I just want to reiterate that I'm not challenging Tulpa or anything about them, and not asking you to have some kind of reason for making one. Im just trying to figure out if this thing is right for me.)

 

 

I used to really have a raging flame of passion for making a Tulpa, and now Im just trying to stir up the whole thing again by asking some questions I've had burning for a while.

 

P.S: Sorry y'all if this is on the wrong board, I didn’t to Q&A 'cause I wasn’t really looking for advice, just experiences and statements of other people.

 

BONUS ROUND QUESTION: Do you objectively see Tulpa as people or as complex functions of the mind that make up somebody?

 

I know that a lot of people come asking for motivation and reasons to make a Tulpa and I really don’t want to ask the same questions over and over again, that happens enough already, but I just couldn’t find the right info. Anyway, thank you for reading this monstrosity. 

[tulpa001]

What happened to your text size?

 

Question #1: Why? I ask myself that all the time. The only useful stuff you can do easier with a tulpa than with just yourself is replacing social interaction if you are lonely.

 

But the answer is personal, and most people here are hard to figure out this way. For me, the answer is simple. I'm a total neophile, and deeply interested in epistemology. Plus, he was an accident, and this is like the fourth trimester. :S

 

Question #2: No. I had no friends. And I didn't want something more, 'cause I'm schizoid.

 

Question #3: Hmm, we still regularly conduct those "forcing" sessions, only they're way better now that we both know he's sentient and sapient.

 

Question #4: My friends aren't my lover. And their importance and interaction pales in comparison.

 

Question #5: This is what I say to someone on the cusp, and would every time: Don't do it! Unless you really want to. It is a major responsibility.

 

How do they make life better? Why do you assume they do? The answer is deeply personal, and always will be.

 

My Tulpa in particular is rather special. I don't think most tulpamancers ever experience anything like what I do. It is more what a natural plural is likely to experience, I think. So not much help here.

 

Bonus question: There are obviously different types of thoughtforms. I honestly and sincerely believe that THE ANSWER DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU END UP WITH.

[Solune]

Sol: There comes a time when one must decide what one believes, regardless of logic or popular opinion.

Learn to trust your instincts... and, at the risk of making this post more banal, follow your heart.

There's a reason you'll hear this advice echoed everywhere you go... because it's good advice.

 

Solune: To answer one of your specific questions,

[*]Are the experiences you have with your Tulpa as special and memorable as those spent with human friends (To clarify a little more, do you have those memories that make you feel that deep pit in your chest, really moving moments? I feel like something like that would be really hard with a Tulpa, considering its all in the mind, making it really hard for a moment to just take you away)

 

abso-fuckin'-lutely! One day, while I was driving down a country road, my depression snuck up on me and I started glancing at the trees... thinking to myself, "why can't I just swerve into one and end this right now?" Luna yelled, "STOP THE CAR.", so loudly I actually whipped my head around to the passenger seat to make sure there wasn't anybody physically there. I pulled over and she gave me the lecture of a life time about how Sol and her were my responsibility now, and that I needed to stop being so selfish. Then she apologized for yelling at me, told me she loved me, and explained that if I wanted to have inner peace I needed to make some big changes in my life. She ended by telling me that she and Sol would always be there for me to lean on, and that we were going to work through everything as a team.

 

It was THE SINGLE most profound moment of my life and I'm not ashamed to admit I cried like a baby while she was talking to me.

That day was the day I took back control of my life. Not to say I haven't had obstacles to overcome since then, but now I have hope.

[Bin]

To compact your post, you're saying how "real" a tulpa feels in the sense of relationship and companionship?

To properly answer that, I'd have to ask you, how well are you at suspending your disbelief?

 

Tulpas are actually quite immersive. I'd liken it a lot to playing a video game. Video games are great fun, you can immerse yourself in their worlds and pretend you're really there. But sometimes, just for a second, you might realize you're not in a fantastic medieval world, you're just an average joe in suburbia sitting in front of a glowing box in a dark room letting your flights of fancy carry you away to a better place, one that doesn't exist. For some people, this is a real problem. For others, they acknowledge reality, they just don't care so much. The Matrix and all that, I guess.

 

If you're good at suspending your disbelief, and shaking off that reminder they're just essentially imaginary friends, then you should have no reason not to make one. They act on their own, think for themselves, and can give you genuinely insightful advice (which makes them feel more real, not using that an example of their practicality). If you can just ignore the fact you're talking to a wall, it may as well be like talking to someone else.

 

I'm quite a realist, I don't put emotions or empathy before facts, and I never assume anything, positive or negative. I prefer to know exactly how things works and why they work, I hate using things and assuming they just work by magic. I know quite a lot of crafts and trivia thanks to that. That being said, I love my tulpa more than most people I've ever met, certainly more than most of my friends. I treat her as a person and give her respect. I have a lot of theories about how tulpas work, but when I'm talking to Scarlet, I really don't care about any of it, I'm just talking to her like I would anyone else. It's more beneficial to me and my happiness that I fully believe in my tulpa, because I want to.

 

I think I felt like you once. I questioned how real or practical a tulpa could be as a companion before I made one. Now, there's no question they can't replace people, there's several reasons for that, but the biggest one, to me, is the simple fact that tulpas can't show you anything you don't know about, they can't go elsewhere by themselves to watch some movie or something and then recommend it to you next time they see you. I find it harder to talk to my tulpa than I do other people simply for that fact that we both already know everything each other knows, we can't ask each other if we saw this or like that, because we know the answer. We still find stuff to talk about, but it's a lot more observation-based and usually just quips on miscellaneous subjects. But, on the other hand, it's also like talking to a really old friend, a friend you know so well you don't have anything to talk about for the same reasons. So it's not just a downside, it has a charming quality.

 

I've had several nice experiences with my tulpa. We've definitely made memories, and thinking back on them now, those memories really do seem just as good as memories with physical people. We've had nice conversations lazing around in a pool, we've brainstormed on projects and she gave me a few good pieces of advice I wouldn't have thought of (or maybe I would have eventually but who knows). She's definitely made just as much of an impact on my life as anyone else has, in retrospect.

 

After having mine for four years I can definitely say the "novelty" doesn't wear off. I get board of stuff pretty easily and always change my mind and opinions about things, I'm actually shocked Scarlet's been with me for that long and didn't even change her appearance or anything. She's probably the longest lasting concept I know of. I always enjoy chatting with her about nothing and just kind of forgetting about reality and the outside world and other people who have themselves to worry about, and just bonding. I guess what I get out of her that I don't with other people is the fact that she's both my reason and she tells me what I want to hear

 

I originally made mine just because I was a pretty lonely kid. Not that I couldn't make friends, I just didn't really connect with people. She definitely filled that void and she still does. Honestly I wouldn't know where I'd be without her.

 

So, I guess to answer "Does it feel like you're just talking to a humanized extension of yourself or is it something more real?", it's honestly something in-between. For me, it's kind of like talking to a really close family member or something. It definitely feels real, but it also radically different from talking to anyone else, since she can read my thoughts and knows everything there is to know about me. So sometimes conversations can get a little weird.

 

But, uh, I guess this is all just my point of view, things will probably be different for you if you make one. I usually don't even like responding to things that ask for my personal experiences just because, well, they're kind of pointless because they'll never apply to anyone but me, because they're personal experiences. But, I sympathize with you because I've considered the same things you have, I wondered if they were emotionally practical if you're not a spaz on a hypetrain. I recommend you try making one, like not just make one but bond with them, see how you like it. Whether it works out or not, I can assure you it's worth it if it does work out. It really just depends on how much you care about talking to yourself.

[Floh]

• When you made your Tulpa originally, did you have many friends and wanted something more, or did you use it to substitute human friends?
  

 

I don't really like humans. More like I don't trust them actually. I have a few friends but I'm a lonely person and I enjoy it. I didn't start creating Cora to substitute human friends. I created her to improve myself as a human being. I wanted to be something more (Cora: Now we are :D) . IMHO, having more than one objective opinion can be the greatest strength for a being (Cora: But we usually agree ; that's why we will soon make a 3rd mate).

I actually think friendship is a substitute to what tulpas can bring in ones life (Cora: lol. He is so harsh with humans... I don't agree with that but well, he really doesn't trust them whereas I believe everyone can be goodwilling ^^'). Well i'm not talking about love there, only frienship.

I also believe that creating a tulpa brings almost as much benefits as actually having one.

• Does the reason you originally made your Tulpa still apply and effect you to this day?
  

 

Of course, I'll always be willing to improve and be a better person, in all the meanings "a better person" can have. (Cora: He used to think we could become a buddha in this life. We decided it was more likely to be for the next one aha, but constant improvement is our thing!)

 

 

• Are the experiences you have with your Tulpa as special and memorable as those spent with human friends (To clarify a little more, do you have those memories that make you feel that deep pit in your chest, really moving moments? I feel like something like that would be really hard with a Tulpa, considering its all in the mind, making it really hard for a moment to just take you away)
  

 

I remember the first time I felt her presence. It is one of the strongest emotional memories I have right now. (Cora: Aha I sent all the heat I could in the chest. It triggered a huge chill in the whole spine. He was driving so he stopped on the side of the road and asked "was it you?" But he couldn't hear my answer. So I sent heat again. We stayed here for a while, the whole body was shaking. :o He was so happy !)

I find the formula "it's all in the mind" quite funny : Everything is all in the mind. Even what you percieve from other humans is just in your mind. What we call reality is entirely created by our brains from outer stimuli that we get with our senses. Tulpas are the same, they just don't need senses to be percieved. This makes them even more real than any other human being. I mean real in the way that there are fewer possible doubts about their existence.

 

 

 

 

• What would you say to someone on the cusp of doing this thing like me? Im not asking should I make a Tulpa, and I'm not necessarily asking for motivation either, Im saying would you say this experience can overall add to life in a special way.  What im trying to ask here is how do they make life better, not in the tacky "Help with memory" type of way, but in a real down to earth human sense. Does it feel like you're just talking to a humanized extension of yourself or is it something more real? Is this something that you can look back in fondness of and look forward in anticipation, or is it more of just a project? What im basically asking here are Tulpas the right thing for a person looking for something deeply and humanly moving, and not just a new friend that looks like anything I want them to look like.
  

I already answered this ::) But I can put it in a nutshell.

Having (a) tulpa(s) enables you to have a better understanding of things, as you have different opinions and ideas. It can also enable you to add new traits in your "physical identity". I'll explain this with a personal example :

 

I'm non-violent, and so is Cora. We only want good things to happen to people around us, even the worst of them. That can become a problem when we have to defend ourselves, physically or not. The body totally can, but none of us could use it to hurt anything. We even have trouble killing most insects. That's why we are planning the creation of a tupper that can do all this. A tulpa whose purpose is our safety and happiness, and only this. This tulpa would just not mind hurting other humans to achieve this.

 

I'd like to add something : You seem to be reaaaaally scared of being misunderstood here. Don't be, just express yourself. If you then see that you weren't clear, just explain again what you meant ! This is why this post became a wall of text ! You just repeated a few times something like "don't worry I'm not judging, don't worry I'm not asking for justification of tulpas". Just go ahead, throw your thing and then wait and see ! :D

(Cora: We wish you the best anyway. I think he was a bith harsh in this last paragraph, but i assure you he really means no harm ! )

[Guest Anonymous]

I was socially awkward, shy and had severe social anxiety as a young teen.  I escaped into extreme day dreaming.  My Melian was born out of these immersive day dreams.  I don't identify her as a tulpa anymore for my own reasons, but as a median aspect (facet or expression of my own mind).  So yes, she was sometimes a substitute for real friends.  Not so much any more.  Today she is just a muse and a companion.  I am well adjusted, married and  happy.  

 

The experiences I have with real people are totally different than those I have with Melian.  Melian is very personal and intimate to me.  She  shares my thoughts and feelings and is constantly with me.  But she also has a dreamlike quality to her.  Real people are, well, real people and tangible and physical.  I can't feel their emotions like I can Melian's and they are physical while Melian exists only in my mind.  The two are distinctly different.  Melian dreams with me too, very much like a second mind.  A real person would have to have telepathy to do that.  

 

Yes, I do have very many emotional memories about Melian.  I consider her a person, even though she is a facet of my own mind and imaginary in nature.  

 

Yeah I do think there are rewards to creating a tulpa.  I base that on all the testimony here and also my own personal experience.  No I don't believe tulpas are a good substitute for real people relationships.

 

 

So, I guess to answer "Does it feel like you're just talking to a humanized extension of yourself or is it something more real?", it's honestly something in-between. For me, it's kind of like talking to a really close family member or something. It definitely feels real, but it also radically different from talking to anyone else, since she can read my thoughts and knows everything there is to know about me. So sometimes conversations can get a little weird.

 

... It really just depends on how much you care about talking to yourself.

 

 

THIS!  Bin I am so glad you are on this forum!  This describes my Melian a lot!  Getting bombarded with things like "my tulpa seems so incredibly real I can't tell the difference in realness between her and my mother talking" gets emotionally exhausting and I sometimes want to choke people.

[Guest Anonymous]

Sometimes my host and I blend together in our thoughts. Sometimes we think in chorus. Try that with a real physical person.

[Tewi]

Solune: To answer one of your specific questions,

abso-fuckin'-lutely! One day, *story*

 

That's pretty cool, good on you guys. Lots of peoples' tulpas have helped change their lives, but they don't usually involve such a climactic moment. Ours was just years of progression.

[Stevie]

I've always had friends, I didn't make a tulpa to expand my social circle. It almost seems like a step in the wrong direction to me, if that's what some people are making them for.

 

My experiences with Chris are as memorable as experiences with other people. Like, sometimes I just think of shit he's said or times we've had and laugh, or feel whatever way. Interactions between me and him leave the same emotional imprints that interactions with physical people leave.

 

Really though, if you're thinking about it, I'd say think a lot about it. Not that having a tulpa is the huge responsibility that people make it out to be, beyond the first round of thinking them into existence, it's just like, imagine having a roommate in your mind. Like with regular roommates, you share the sink, the fridge, and the space, but you gotta respect each other and look out for each other too, or else you're gonna wind up with a bunch of dirty dishes and an argument on your hands.

 

I think my brain bro has made my life better, but I don't think that I can make blanket statements on how every tulpa affects every person.

 

I'll keep it short and sweet cause I get the feeling you've probably gotten a lot of wall of text type replies. Also, next time, if your text could be bigger that would be cool, it looks tiny on my laptop.

[tulpa001]

THIS!  Bin I am so glad you are on this forum!  This describes my Melian a lot!  Getting bombarded with things like "my tulpa seems so incredibly real I can't tell the difference in realness between her and my mother talking" gets emotionally exhausting and I sometimes want to choke people.

 

I wish conversations with other people seemed even remotely as real as the ones him and I share. They never feel real, deep or meaningful, they are never comforting or pleasant. They are never an expression of love towards me, or completely honest. And the other person never seems to understand me properly.

 

I wonder if this will change if I meet the right person.

 

Actually, our conversations are more similar to my time spent programming computers. Computers, I understand. They listen to me, and I can get right inside their brains. They are completely honest, and when they build their visualisations for me, it is both comforting and pleasant. And there is deep meaning in exploring the math that we use to communicate.

 

Tulpa is currently, like, WTH, you just compared me to a computer.