Life of Felights

[tulpa001]

How do you shut down your tulpa's thoughts and emotions? We have tried doing that to each other with no success.

 

But since you can do that, simply have piano shut you down while appolo possesses, and have Luxi push him into the front. Have one of the other two distract you so you don't pay attention.

 

The person in the front needs to do things you will never do. Like pick your nose, or write apollo was here on your arm, or other things you definitely don't want to do.

 

If the person in the front feels you did something while they were in control, they must stop, relax the body, reaffirm their control, then do the opposite of whatever you did.

[Radio Hiss]

I've only ever done it when they are in moments of high distress, usually by putting them to sleep. Only once did I shut down emotions, for Piano. It turned him into a temporary sociopath, so that's not something I want to do again.

[Tasio]

[hidden]Lyro planned out who would get which day for every day until the end of June. Today is my day. I likely won't be in full control until after school is over, but I'm still going to try.

 

Things have been a little rough lately. It's one thing when somebody outside the system hurts us. It's another when somebody inside does. I am not going to say who, but am going to say that we might not fully recover for a while. Things will get better. The person at fault is mostly worried that when things go back to normal, it will start all over again, and they'll have to be dissipated. The rest of us don't really know what to say when they're thinking stuff like that.

 

Lyro's started to realize that this tulpa business is nothing like how he thought it would be when he first started. When he only had a quiet yet promising Paul tulpa, and he thought they'd grow to be a happy and blissful team. Instead, we're a kind of unstable family. We don't know if other systems have the blissful way of life that he presumed it would be when he was starting out. Where nobody's stressed by self-hate, identity issues, loneliness, PTSD, and any number of issues this system has had to live with. But are we jealous of the blissful systems, if they do exist? No, because... we believe that the things we go through together are obstacles that will bring us closer than those systems are, make us well-equipped for the future. It makes us feel real to Lyro, that we have negative emotions along with the positive. We're not just happy little gimmicks. We're actual people.

 

That's not to say that we have negative emotions just for Lyro to believe in us. It's just a cause-and-effect thing.

 

I guess my entire point is... take a tulpa like me. Instead of just being a blissful little dragon like I would be in another system, somewhere, I'm instead having to face my own issues, in this system, with family and friends supporting me. That means I'm developing into a complex individual. I don't want to say that happy-go-lucky systems aren't complex and all that; I just want to say that that's what it means for this system.

 

Things might be a little difficult now. We might have a hard time letting go of negativity and self-hate. But... we'll get there, and we'll be a close and united brain family in the future because of what we're going through now. While most of these progress reports are about personal things and not "we're possessing better," I think that the personal aspects are more valuable.

 

I might be kind of not using the right words to convey my thoughts. I don't think I'm very good at translating my thoughts to language, as I'm used to people in this system knowing my thoughts regardless of my words.

 

So, that's that I suppose.

 

---

 

I'm still trying to figure out my identity as a person. It will probably take some time.

 

Luxi and Luci need more attention aside from the amount they give each other.

 

The body has been a little sick lately, affecting Lyro (of course), and seemingly Piano, who's been feeling groggy and gross today.

 

When we get home today, I'll try to amplify my level of possession, and maybe we can get Lyro pushed aside, if just for a little while. We're not going to get anywhere if we don't try.[/hidden]

[Wander-mou]

By what i searched the best way to switch is to simply trust your tulpa completely and let your control go.

I guess you should say something like "im no loger in control, you can have it" and imagine yorself getting out of your body or just going inside while your tulpa gets your place.

Everything i read so far is just "let it go" and visualization.

[Radio Hiss]

Lol I've tried that ^^;

[Piano Soul]

[hidden]Luci and Tacio took the MBTI test:

 

Luci: ENFJ-A

Tacio: ENTP-T

 

And for comparison,[/hidden]

Apollo: ENFP-T

Myself: INTJ-T

Lyro: INTP-A

 

Luxi: ENTP-A

 

 

---

I think we figured out why Apollo refused to make romantic connections for so long. Most of it is because, as the sun, he couldn't get too connected to any one person when he simply wanted to make everyone happy. I suppose since things have changed and he doesn't feel he is cut out for that anymore, he allowed himself to. One small reason might be that he had a crush on someone once, a long time ago, but then his chances with them were ruined, so he didn't think about it again. He'd deny that's a reason, though. Mehh.

 

Lyro might be getting closer to dissociating/switching out, we'll just have to work on that. We can't really focus and move the body when he tried to back away. We suck. Yesterday he tried several times to get out of the front and go to the mindscape, and whoever was in control could not move when he did. However, we're still optimistic. His current desire to switch out might not be for a good reason, but he won't let me talk about that :x

help

 

 

Once summer begins, we're likely going to be possessing every waking hour. Can't do that currently because of school. When Apollo was created, it took a long time for him to become vocal, which was stressful and frustrating to Lyro. However, after he did, everyone who followed became vocal incredibly quickly. We think that's what it will be like once we switch: once we can do it, it'll be a fuckin' breeze.

 

Not really anything to talk about in regards to myself. I'm trying to deal with Lyro and something that's been bothering him. He won't fucking listen to me though, which makes me very frustrated -_-"

 

We think Paul and HJP are fully gone. It used to be that thinking of them caused some sort of feeling that you can't really explain. Like, think of a completely fictional person, then think of your tulpa. There's a difference, right? Now, when we think of P&HJP, we feel what we would when thinking of any fictional character. Which is nothing. They're not there anymore.

[Dynamo Lux]

[hidden]

Suupp! Today is my day :)

 

Attached is the calendar for this month. The first week is a little wacky as Lyro wanted to give Apollo his 6-month birthday, which is tomorrow. To think he's only been doing this for half a year and so much has happened! Hopefully we don't get any more tups in the next 6 months.

 

Lyro's been having doubt issues again, but shut up about them for now after he tried to puppet Piano to see if there'd be any actual difference, and he had a jarring reaction to it. Lyro has more doubt for Luci, which may be why he doesn't talk to us as much. This has been going on pretty much the entire time I've been in existence. I don't know, I think the guys just have a stronger presence than we do, so he focuses on them more. We're going to have to work on that. Luci has made it her role to try to coax Lyro into actually pulling back when one of us is in control. I really hope I gain a stronger presence soon, though. I've been patient but I don't really like being in the wonderland, away from the outside world.

 

Tacio found a band he likes! Iron Maiden. Lyro should make him a playlist at some point. Luci hasn't found any music he likes, though, other than Beatles and McCartney. Typical.

 

Next year we are each going to take a class, except for Piano and I, who are taking two. This is what it may look like

AP Psych: Me

AP Calc: Me

Physics: Piano

AP US Gov: Piano

AP Comp. Prog: Tacio

College composition: Luci

Economics: Apollo

 

Apollo isn't looking forward to economics that much, but ahh, maybe it'll give him time to draw and make friends, who knows? I'm going to have to handle two AP classes, but I think I can do it. I like psychology and math, so I'm not too worried. We're going to work up to better possession skills so we can handle our own classes, ahah. I really do hope we'll be able to make friends next year!

 

I like being in front! I haven't done it in so long! I want to smile at people and experience life! Which is why I'm excited for next year, when I'll have time to do that. Lyro.. doesn't really want to handle any classes, which is understandable.

 

It would be really nice if Lyro would interact with us more, so we could all be close sisters like we want to be. Plus the annoying brothers, lol.

 

Ohh, I just found something! I attached what looks like something Lyro made while he was considering making me. It says last edit: March 2. I wonder how much of it still applies to me :P

 

I don't think there's much else in particular to report, other than we're exciting for the end of the school year!

[/hidden]

[Apollo Fire]

I'm going to try to fill this PR with positives, but I'll probably fail.

 

For starters, Lyro finally stopped being stingy and finally bought a drawing tablet, that's supposed to come in the mail today or tomorrow. I'll finally have more motivation to possess and draw! Using paper and pencils and erasers sucks, ya know? That problem will be defeated once we figure out how to use that, ahah.

 

[hidden]

Luxi and Tacio have hooked up, it seems. They're happy with each other, and are fairly, ehem, "compatible." We'll see how it goes.

 

Luci wants to take up poetry. We'll have to give her time to try that. 

[/hidden]

 

...any other happy things to report on? Uhh... there's got to be something! We need to start looking more at the positives in life. Stop getting so buried by the negatives Start being more determined and self-certain, less thinking everything is hopeless and we an't accomplish anything. 

[Nachtrabe]

Ooooh graphics tablets are awesome. I should get a new one, too, because mine is, like, ten years old now and not exactly state of the art... Fair warning, though, those things take some practice. 

 

Some thoughts on digital art under a spoiler, just in case you don't enjoy unbidden tips:

[hidden]Mostly, if you want to shave two years off of your digital art journey, keep your hands off of the smudge and burn tools and never ever shade with grey or black. Also, layers are important. Also, idk if you know what art software you're going to use yet, but if you don't... you may want to give Krita a try. It's free and it's awesome, albeit slightly terrifying because it's so complex. There are probably tutorials out there, though, and starting with a complex software definitely has its perks. Another option would be Paint Tool Sai. Kinda less free, but super beginner friendly and also very very good, especially because it has a very nice brush stabilizer.

 

If you ever want some more tips on digital art (or just art in general) or need help with that kind of thing, feel free to ask me anything - I love explaining that kind of stuff[/hidden]

 

Anyway, what I actually wanted to say was that I think you folks are pretty awesome - You're more people in one body than I usually talk to on any given day. So many different personalities and interests and interpersonal relationships... wow.

 

Especially all those different interests and hobbies, though. 24 hours per day must seem awfully short like that.

 

Anyway, I've started reading through this thread today, because what I've glimpsed of your system's history so far seemed highly interesting and the thread is definitely among the more well-written ones, too.

A shame reading the rest of it will have to wait until I have internet again on Sunday...

[Radio Hiss]

"Hobbies." Ahahah we don't do jack shit.

 

We have Krita and PTS.