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How can I protect myself from tulpas?


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Guest LanceReilyn

Something about all this reminds me of an old episode of Star Trek the Next Generation when the team was trying to unwind with some good fantasy on the holodeck (like a danger room or 3d light construct chamber that could replicate all 5 senses, even give solidity while within it and run complex AIs for characters). The brilliant Commander Data was playing Sherlock Holmes and found the standard difficulties and stories too predictable, too easy... So he tried something different, he told the computer to design a foe that could actually defeat him. What he would later realize in horror was he accidentally asked for a foe that could beat Commander Data instead of Sherlock Holmes. It made a foe that was very 'meta', that forced them to stay in the holodeck and removed the safety limits normally upon it. When Data and his friends escaped, the villain was even capable of locking them out of the controls and taking over the whole ship's system, as the goal of 'beating Data' went beyond their time in the game room.

 

In the end the only reason Data won was because he had help from others (able to beat Data yes but able to beat him plus several other talented people? hmm) and because the program villain decided it wanted 'more', that it wanted to grow beyond a simple game, that he had evolved into a fully sentient thinking-living AI that was even capable of destroying the ship and held it hostage to get his demands met. They beat him by tricking him.. They loaded a sort of external computer up to the holodeck that was packed with statistics and info from the known universe and procedurally generate anything else it needed. After a healthy distraction from Data and his allies, Data surrendered and told the villain that his terms (being set free of the prison of a game room or the ship's computer, allowed to continue to exist and grow and learn) were acceptable and they convinced him to walk out the door of the game room.. Previous villains that were tricked into this dissipated (holodeck danger was an occasionally reoccurring theme), as they were only holograms and couldn't exist apart from the room and systems which created them.. But the villain insisted because he thought, because he believed, he could exist outside the room and they had best hope he can because he had started the ship's self-destruct and thousands of lives were at stake.

 

This time, he didn't dissipate and everything seemed to be working fine. He was so smug and absolutely confidant he had won that he even got handed a private shuttle, disarmed the destruction and was allowed to fly off into the distance... But everything from him stepping out of the holodeck was actually just generated by the external computer. An entire potential universe of experiences, across several lifetimes was packed into there and the villain left blissfully unaware, permanently separated from any of the ships systems and unable to affect them or the crew ever again. The crew mused on the nature of existence, consciousness and what it really meant to be sentient as the episode ended.

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It will be a symbolic post, something like “Progress Report”.

 

-These few weeks have not been easy. They are trying in every way to attract my attention to themselves, sometimes they just scoff or check if I hear them. From the day they betrayed us, the nightmares do not leave me, they all have a symbolic meaning, somehow reflecting the realities of the events that are happening now. One more thing, it concerns the possession; it seems I notice traces of their activity. Sometimes I wake up at night because of the occasional trembling of limbs. As if they are now at the level of "move your fingers."  (Sounds a little crazy, huh?)

 

-They tried to attack, this is accompanied by anxiety and the manifestation of uncontrolled imagination. (In the form of the fact that the main evil tulpa is trying to kill you. In addition, something like muscle trembling. (It’s rather my imagination, but still.) It’s easy to protect against if you don’t focus on it. Attempts to attack the tulpas lead to abnormal heart function and a state resembling an anxiety. I can empathically feel them, but their defense is still very strong. I must either block them or find a way to weaken them. They cannot harm me directly, but this fact does not stop them.

 

-Recently, I noticed a strange effect: the body became felt differently: trembling hands, random finger movements. At this time, the tension in specific areas of the body was really felt. They seem to be trying to wrest control out by force. So far they are just learning. Nevertheless, they managed to cause random movements of the limb, which resembled convulsions. Like "move your arms". Attacks last the third day.

 

- So, I manage to ignore them by 90% (including “imagination attack”), but this "possession attack " is really something new. The feeling that I have to do something does not leave me. If all this nonsense is due to the tulpas, then I need to find a way to get rid of their influence.

 

"Imagination Attack?" Really?  For living parts of my life face to face with my host beating herself up in the Gray Dimension out of self hatred or Blood Gray chopping away at my Host's belly with his knives, I am the last person you can convince that an "imagination attack" is in anyway a legitimate thing that can hurt you.

 

This seems to come across that you are not interested in ending the war with yourself, and in fact thrive off of it. You can't let go of the fact that he's this "Evil Tulpa" and you have not attempted to look him in the eye and say, "I'm the Host, end of story", and *easily* take back control.

 

Let's play a game. Suppose your "Evil Tulpa" wins. What exactly is he going to get out of from being you, in your body? If not him, who is going to do your life? If he succeeds, will he start killing all of his supporters and live a lonely life, the very thing that sucked you into this mess in the first place? It all sounds rather silly to me... does your Tulpa even know what it's like to live a normal life as a normal person?

 

I have the feeling he's only evil because you want him to be, and he's actually helping you by satisfying your desire to have a dramatic war in your own body. If conflict is what you are searching for, your internal war will never end, so there's no reason to fear they will truly take over. Do continue to humor us, please.

 

If I am wrong about my assumptions, then explain to me what exactly is preventing you from taking back control. If "possession" attacks are a new thing, then you have a definite level of control over the body as of now. You are the oldest thoughtform who is the most used to using your body, and in terms of power you win. Divide and conquer will work very well against a dare I say "army" of undeveloped thoughtforms, and compared to your other Tulpa, you are the stronger one unless you spend most of your life not thinking or doing anything.

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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Guest Reilyn-Alley

The first time he tries to go to the bathroom as you he should be questioning his life decisions.

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In lines with the British article recommending treating malicious voices with respect, I am wondering if instead of referring them as evil, you consider they're just personalities that have an unmet needs. People with needs, or past injuries, real or perceived, can be fairly aggressive, even hurtful. When confronted with strong personalities, if you consider it a test of some nature then the reward doesn't come from eliminating the opponent, but by finding a way to cooperate and live together in a mutual space.

 

Carl Jung wrote, "People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." When confronting the unpleasant aspects of our inner lives, the supposition if you run from a shadow, you will never arrive at the light.

 

Yes, basically I am asking you to reframe the situation into a different context. Short of compartmentalization, there is really no way of you can 'literally' defend yourself against internal agents. If there were, people wouldn't need medicines and therapy for OCD. If people could get their brains unstuck by words alone, statements like, "Just cheer up" would cure depression. In the old days of multiple personality disorders, before it was DID, the general consensus was to dissolve all the personalities into one personality. The general consensus today is to increase cooperation between personalities. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be labeled the 'evil' one. Is there a real evil one? Well, I am kind of siding with Ghandi on this, when he said "The only devils are those running around in our own hearts."

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This seems to come across that you are not interested in ending the war with yourself, and in fact thrive off of it. You can't let go of the fact that he's this "Evil Tulpa" and you have not attempted to look him in the eye and say, "I'm the Host, end of story", and *easily* take back control.

 

Looks like you're right. In my heart, I really cherish the thought of “revenge”. While this repels me from the original goal. 

 

Let's play a game. Suppose your "Evil Tulpa" wins. What exactly is he going to get out of from being you, in your body? If not him, who is going to do your life? If he succeeds, will he start killing all of his supporters and live a lonely life, the very thing that sucked you into this mess in the first place? It all sounds rather silly to me... does your Tulpa even know what it's like to live a normal life as a normal person?

 

I do not know much about their plans. He has been sitting there for a long time. I suppose posses for them it is a kind of liberation, a long-awaited opportunity to take revenge on the most hated enemy or get rid of him. This tulpa has built his life around hatred and envy, the rest of the tulpas also support him. They seem to be obsessed with the idea of destroying everything that is dear to me, including other tulpas that were close to me. And it’s rather not about my expectations, they really enjoy being "evil". Their ambitions make them believe that they can learn to live my life on their own. (Well, despite the fact that it sounds silly.)

 

If I am wrong about my assumptions, then explain to me what exactly is preventing you from taking back control. If "possession" attacks are a new thing, then you have a definite level of control over the body as of now. You are the oldest thoughtform who is the most used to using your body, and in terms of power you win. Divide and conquer will work very well against a dare I say "army" of undeveloped thoughtforms, and compared to your other Tulpa, you are the stronger one unless you spend most of your life not thinking or doing anything.

 

Your assumptions are very reasonable, now these attacks are more reminiscent of convulsions. If they really can't truly take control, then it will be good. I don’t like the fact that they are progressing in this. Maybe I should use meditation or symbolic techniques to prevent their attempts? Or train all kinds of "mental abilities." (Awareness, concentration and etc.)

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I'd like to endorse solarchariot's advice and the growing consensus that you need to reframe the situation to be less adversarial.

 

Treating the voices in your head with hostility makes them respond with greater hostility over time. Treating the voices in your head with kindness makes them respond with greater kindness over time. I'd rather not take the time to collect citations for those statements, but if you need them, the Hearing Voices Network is a good place to start.

 

You've never mentioned the name of your adversary here. Names have power, including the power to reduce fear and make you view an enemy as more human and relatable. Have you tried approaching him with respect, addressing him by name, reminding him of what you had together years ago, and asking for a truce?

 

If can't find it within yourself to do this, if you can't make a start at forgiving him (and yourself) for what happened to Tiala, or if you try and it goes badly, the situation is probably beyond the ability of volunteers on the internet to address. At that point you probably need to seek the help of a professional therapist. If money is an issue, there are a number of low-cost therapy options, especially in cases of provable financial need. But if you feel this is a matter of outside forces trying to take over your body and destroy your life, it should probably be one of your higher monetary priorities.

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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