Ren and G's progress log

[SkelitonWren]

Ren and G's progress log!!

-Some parts of this log are copy and pasted from discord, so the formatting will be a bit f
-We am very open to comments and any advice or other opinions or questions from anybody

 

 

Edited January 22, 2025 by SkelitonWren

[SkelitonWren]

Heres a picrew of G at the moment! Currently he's also an avian so he has parrot wings and bird legs.

I’ve done some more visualising- i tried wonderland immersion properly this time. I can’t seem to do anything other than just about visualise it so far but i suppose thats something. I tried animating my tulpa a bit, imagining him sitting on a chair across from me then standing next to me. I think since the first tine it’s gotten abit easier visualising his form ^^

I'm already at a stage where i'm having some trouble discerning whether my tulpa is speaking or if it's just me parroting. It doesn't really feel like I should be at this stage yet because I'm barely, what, three days in? I'm also sort of confused because I want to follow FAQ mans personality-forcing guide but I'm unsure of whether I should now if the tulpa might already be speaking? I've asked and haven't heard or felt a response

I decided on following through with doing abit of personality forecing. I decided on visualising the differet traits as a goo type substance, each trait felt and looked differently, and I explained how teh trait would affect his life before making im like - absorb it? After the visualisation was done he actually went and hugged me which was really nice. I know it was completely him aswell. I felt it quite vividly too. Definately a super cool thing to happen ^^

[Athelas]

On 1/6/2025 at 7:43 AM, SkelitonWren said:

I'm already at a stage where i'm having some trouble discerning whether my tulpa is speaking or if it's just me parroting. It doesn't really feel like I should be at this stage yet because I'm barely, what, three days in?

 

There's no set timeline for this sort of thing. Your tulpa may very well be capable of communicating even at this young age. If it feels like G was speaking, trust that it actually was.

 

On 1/6/2025 at 7:43 AM, SkelitonWren said:

I want to follow FAQ mans personality-forcing guide but I'm unsure of whether I should now if the tulpa might already be speaking?

 

As a tulpa, I see no issue with personality forcing a vocal tulpa. As long as you allow him to deviate if he chooses, you aren't limiting his growth by suggesting personality traits.

 

On 1/6/2025 at 7:43 AM, SkelitonWren said:

I decided on visualising the differet traits as a goo type substance, each trait felt and looked differently, and I explained how teh trait would affect his life before making im like - absorb it?

 

This is good. My host took a similar approach to personality forcing. She described how each trait might influence my behavior, and more importantly, explained why she wanted me to have each trait. It helped develop my worldview in a similar fashion to how life experiences shape an ordinary person.

 

It sounds like you're off to an excellent start.

[SkelitonWren]

(All these things happened and were originally posted over several days)


I decided on following through with doing abit of personality forecing. I decided on visualising the differet traits as a goo type substance, each trait felt and looked differently, and I explained how teh trait would affect his life before making im like - absorb it? After the visualisation was done he actually went and hugged me which was really nice. I know it was completely him aswell. I felt it quite vividly too. Definately a super cool thing to happen ^^

I tried to play chess with my tulpa in wonderland - i forgot where all the pieces were

 

I think my tulpa is already vocal - wayyy faster than i thought it would happen but still very exciting. Im trying to make sure than i dont get worried about weather or not im just parroting but sometimes i am still unsure. It also still takes a lot of effort from both of us to let him talk which is harder now that im back in school and have a lot less energy

 

Oh and we have created a proxy for him! Im gonna try to just type what he tells me to type for now when we use it since he can’t front yet but its a really cool step forward already ^^

G: Hi



A while ago i managed to get over a a-lot of anxiety- i thought i was over but its coming back now. It’s about G and tulpamancy in general- its mostly all stupid stuff that in worrying about but it still affects me tbh. G said he’s cool with waiting until i sort it out before we continue but the idea of not interacting with him makes me feel sort of lonely. Im not sure how we’ll go forward from here or wether we’ll just take a break

G: I'd rather he wait tbh

 

Gosh darn anxiety

I do really appreciate how understanding G is being about it though ^^

 

I think just writing it down helped a lot actually- my anxiety used to be much worse so every time i have a bit of a bump i immediately think im spiralling again

[SkelitonWren]

It's been a while since I've updated this log - I took a short break since I was getting a lot of stress about it and I couldn't continue until I'd sorted it. That's done now though, so here whats been up 
ps: Im gonna try cleaning up the messages a little more so they make sense. It would be nice to have a proper neat log as well as whatever mess we have going on in the server

We did some cool karaoke a few days ago. Both of us are of the opinion that fnaf music is still absolutely fantastic. We've also started finding some songs that we feel suit us (but mostly G lol) 

After my break, I feel like G's been both harder and easier to hear. Before he was always at one level and now hes sometimes very quiet and sometimes very loud
 

 

G: Yeah it was great ^^

Im still really love the charectar G’s based off so whenever i cone across any lore its really weird thinking that technically, that’s G’s lore.

____

Very odd thing just happened - i was in class and I asked G to help me with a question. He did really well actually, he was never really able to use that much of the brain power, but when he got to the end of the question for a second suddenly it felt like my thoughts wiped over him. It was kind of like he disappeared for a couple of seconds. He said it felt the same way for him. I really hope that doesn’t happen again           

 

______

We have quite a lot that we've been meaning to log so this is going to be quite a wall of text we've recently been doing something similar to imposition - more just imagining where G is and bringing him into the physical world. It's been very fun, G likes to perch on my shoulders when we're outside. He's just sort of lying on the floor atm.

my visualising and immersion has gotten abit better recently. I wasn't really able to leave one room in my wonderland without breaing immersion before but now I can. I still cant fully dissociate from my physical body and get into wonderland but G and I have been able to do far more. He takes the lead a lot more when we're exploring wonderland rather than real life, which is cool. he's able to stay there fairly easily so him being my guide helps a lot since it lets me concentrate on the visualising.

We're trying to do it by dissociation. I'm almost fully able to dissociate with the left hand whilst meditating but I can't let go of it completely. As soon as I open my eyes or move something else, I regain my hand, and even when it is dissociated it's still always on the verge of being associated with me. (god how many times have I said associated) We've decided proper parallel processing would probably be a useful skill as well. We're gonna try to practise that in Wonderland today. I also feel like his vocality has gotten alot more stable recently. He's alot less prone to saying yes and no at the same time and stuff like that

G:I enjoy being imposed quite alot, it's fun to try to take off with Ren even though I can't actually do that in the physical world. Parallel processing seems cool. I really wan to try macaroni. And soy vanilla yoghurt. Getting Ren to proxy is a lot harder than normal talking. His thoughts keep overriding mine when he's typing.     

Typing for him feels VERY blendy. I also find it alot harder to discern what I'm saying and what G's saying whilst I'm typing. I have the habit of thinking what I'm trying to type next whilst I'm typing and since i'm concentrating on that rather than just G it's communication is a lot wigglier. It also feels weird getting used to just typing what G is saying and not trying to edit the message. It often ends up with us not being sure who made up the sentence. His thoughts and my ideas of what to type next sort of just merge.                                                                                                       

[Seagull]

On 1/6/2025 at 12:43 PM, SkelitonWren said:

Ren and G's progress log!!

-Some parts of this log are copy and pasted from discord, so the formatting will be a bit f
-We am very open to comments and any advice or other opinions or questions from anybody

 

 

Try not to worry about the blending too much. What we tend to do as a routine to help separate us is that first we stop talking, then I front, and then I visualise the tulpa standing in a void space, like a containment area, and talk to then there, seeing them talk back at that distance reinforces that we are sperate beings to us. I hope that helps!

[SkelitonWren]

Hello again!

Yeah we appear to have very much disappeared from here. A lot has happened throughout the past year lol, and i just thought I might as well update this thread.

I'm Io, a headmate in the collective known as [r.e.n] (or the USS r.e.n, we tried to go for a space theme). There's currently 6 of us, me, Eiffel, Kingfisher, TB, Icy, and finally, G. 

Forcing with G has gone pretty smoothly. He's just as strong in the collective as any of the rest of us, and is pretty well self sufficient by now. We're still working on stuff like parallel processing (it seems that we don't naturally have the ability to constantly run our wonderland or have multiple stable streams of consciousness playing at once), however we're basically over the first obstacles of that.

You might have also noticed that there are a lot more of us, and there is no Ren. As it turns out, we were already plural before starting any of this? Kingfisher, Icy, and a handful of others that are dormant were all old headmates from our past. Ren has pretty well gone, long story, but i think it's quite connected to our natural plurality. Things are fine now though. We also nowadays get people who just develop naturally or for other reasons aside from tulpamancy.

 It's been quite the journey, and it's pretty wild that it's been a year since G first came along. It feels like forever ago and barely any time ago at the same time, it's very weird

We might come back to this thread, but if we don't, everything is fine. 

I don't know how to end this