"They not like us" - Stories to teach the "muggles" about the values of Tulpas

[The Incans]

I disagree ...I feel it shows the many aspects a Tulpa can help with…how do you know that some ‘muggle’ (as you call them) who happens to be reading this ..isn’t dealing with lonelyness or grief ..or isn’t having some kind of episode as a result of that ..that they are unsure is a ‘mental health issue’ or not? 

I know of a guy who is schizophrenic and creating Tulpa’s has helped him re-shape the voices in his mind to friendly ones. I also know of a group that embraces many forms of multiplicity where many people who have been diagnosed with DID found groups like that this and that one where people were more flexible …. encouraged them to explore their plurality more rather than being afraid of it and refusing to deal with it at all.  Eg.. they may have been afraid to seek out diagnosis but being in a group where you could have ‘insiders’ (regardless of their origin) and talk about them eventually led to them understanding the difference and knowing then for sure either way. 

I do think there are very grey areas for eg in DID communities though they’d pounce on anyone who mentions the word ‘Tulpa’ as being fake they admit to have ‘alters’ that are ‘fictive, factives or introjects’. ie not a version of the host body either way!  ..what the difference is between one of them for example having a character off star trek in their system and someone creating a Tulpa based on their favourite Star Trek character I don’t know! …why does it matter that much????  you both essentially for one reason or another have a fictional character you believe is ‘in your inner world’. ..Its especially common I find in people who also have autism, ADHD or both! 

I mean lets face it most NT ‘muggles’ will be out there having busy lives surrounded by people constantly (at work or at home with kids, partner etc) and probably won’t even have the spare time to create a Tulpa!…unless something happened to change their life dramatically impacting their emotional or mental health or lead to them discovering they had an underlying condition that was just never discovered due to a lifetime of masking or something! 

[mattx]

One of the downsides of being an adult is that I don't have the concept of "doing things for fun" anymore, nowadays it's either work or spend time brainrotting/resting to recover the energy for more work to happen in the future.

For the next week or so, my job is to be on call for one of the companies I work with, which means (ideally) lots of "free time" that I don't normally have.

Recently, I've been hyperfixating a lot about dj equipment, and all the technical side of doing live mixing - after much doomscrolling and research on the subject, I've decided to pick up a mid-level dj controller - I unboxed it yesterday, and I've had a blast playing it for four hours straight.

Mind you, my usual routine when I'm not working OOH is:

• wake up
• doomscroll / chat with friends until I'm bored
• workout
• lunch
• do some accounting / stuff / pretend to be productive
• more doomscroll / play dead by daylight
• another round of semi-productive behavior
• dinner
• more doomscrolling / dbd / work on my projects
• go to bed
• repeat

Which means my usual "reset routine" in-between OOH jobs involves a lot of doomscrolling and playing videogames, which isn't ideal.

For some reason, this morning when I woke up I did want to get straight to the dj controller to play, but I felt this sense of "this isn't right" because my mind thought I was gonna waste hours of time doing nothing productive.
You see, I don't plan on being a DJ, play at clubs etc - I just picked that up out of curiosity and the novelty of it all - so my brain was like "yeah man, this isn't a worthwhile investment of your time, go work on your game, or your app, or something like that" - so as I was having a sort of "depressive" moment where I wasn't feeling like doing anything (this is usually the part where doomscrolling or dbd happens) Cheryl pointed out something to me that is likely obvious to the non-neurodivergent reading this, but apparently not to myself:
"Well, if you're gonna spend hours playing dbd or doomscrolling, wouldn't that be a waste of time as well?"

Which is obvious, painfully obvious, but for some reason the two activities didn't correlate in my smoothbrain.

She then pointed out how she hasn't seen me had that much fun with something in a while (relative to the fact that the way I play DBD nowadays is out of "spite", much like veterans usually play games they know by heart and have played for years like League of Legends, Dota, Counter Strike etc.) and that it is absolutely okay to have a hobby, especially one that correlates with my work and allows me to learn new skills, and that I enjoy.

 

"They not like us" story of today (maybe I'll change the name of this thread someday) is that your Tulpa can be (should you want / believe to) an "external" source of opinions that can be separate from your current state of being, and that might use cold logic and reasoning to steer you towards a better path - I use this side of her quite often, I won't lie.

[Autumn Ren]

[Autumn] I want to address this:

 

3 hours ago, Shin Matt said:

doing things for fun

 

As a system of realistically 9 we have long since abandoned the idea of equal time for individuals and that's a whole other story, but one thing we did start doing about three years ago was incorporating us into one of our favorite hobbies: writing novels.

 

Before our host did the writing and he didn't want us written in for reasons, but then we rediscovered D&D and learned how to write books around that while playing as a system (a subset of us) and one of us would write and DM while we play. It's already been half a dozen books since then and we had incredible fun doing it. (3rd person omniscient is our style.)

 

Before that we have always had areas where we would pop in, but with this it's taking wonderlanding to the next level. 

 

What makes this a level up from wonderlanding is the danger of actually losing the game (dying in game) so we have to play carefully and really think. It's still very fun even three years in, it's something we do in our free time and think about constantly. 

 

Now in the context of this thread, that's something our host couldn't have done without us. Other things we do would fill a novel but we helped him through depression, caused his spiritual awakening while learning to switch, helped shape his personality, helped him with regression therapy to remove triggers and conditioning, helped him spiritually, and many more but the number one best thing according to him is he hasn't felt lonely since we joined him; never once in at least 8 years.

 

[mattx]

Another story, fresh off the press.

I guess this thread is as close of a "progress report" as it gets, because there really isn't much to be working on in our journey anymore and what ends up happening is "situations" in day-to-day life that could be interesting to narrate to those who don't have a tulpa and don't know the benefits.

 

Now, before we proceed, you must know that I am a serial overthinker, there's no shame in saying that - I am the kind of person that whenever something COULD happen (for example, the car breaking down) my mind starts racing over dozens of possibilities and immediately registers to the "worst case scenario" (in this case, even if it's just a minor problem, I am already thinking at where/how could I get a new car) - on a psychological level, I am assuming this is the byproduct of my childhood, and how being "pessimistic" is a sort of "shield" towards being let down - if you think the worst is gonna happen, well, worst case scenario you're already prepared for it, it can only get better from there.
The only downside to this is major stress and fatigue from over-analyzing every situation, but I can't help it I'm afraid. :/

 

Regardless, in the past few days I've had a cool opportunity from one of my recurring clients: manage a sports tournament - a 3 days event in an open field near where I live where I had to provide and manage all the necessary equipment to make the show happen (sound, cameras, light, and a led wall).

Now, this isn't anything I haven't done before, the only difference this time was the responsibility of the equipment being all mine - most of it being loaners from different places, so I had to make sure everything was done right, and safely.

 

First day, the set-up happens and everything works well, aside from me hyperfixating on the truss setup and quadruple-making sure that not even a bulldozer could take it down (here's a random picture off the web for context)

Cue the evening, and everything goes as it should, and now it's time to wrap up the first day - since we've set up in a public park in a big city, we've got to be careful with the equipment.

With my colleagues, we remove everything of value (cameras, mixers, speakers etc.) but shortly after a haunting thought starts looming in my mind: "what if they steal the ledwall?"

 

Mind you, the park was guarded by one person in the night time, from around midnight to 7am - but after that, it was kinda "left to chance" until the early afternoon; this is the part where my mind starts working overtime and conjures all the possible scenarios:

• What if a truck of thieves pulls over in the morning and steals it?
• What if some kid trips over the structure and dies?
• What if it falls down tonight and crashes down, destroying everything in the process?
• What if the police arrives and seizes it?

These, and many more, were haunting my wellbeing during that wrapping up time, I was already wondering which bank I should go to should I need a loan to pay for damages (or re-buy the stolen ledwall), which lawyer to call if someone gets injured in the morning, etc.

Naturally, my coworkers thought I was being excessive, and likely they were right, but it's in my nature to be extremely analytical and overthinking to the absolute limit, it is something that has saved my bacon a number of times.

After much thought (and panicking), I was even ready to grab a hotel nearby just for myself and send the guys home for the night without me, or dismantle it myself and come back on my own in the early morning to re-assemble it (which would have been suicide), but thankfully Cheryl stepped in amongst this "what if" chaos and helped me out.

 

Cheryl is really good at "dismantling" my beliefs, something she has picked up over the years when I was in similar situations that needed some logical grounding - letting me run amok in my own made-up scenarios is often just a recipe for endless stress.
Naturally, she stepped in saying that "the ledwall isn't going anywhere" because logically virtually nobody would have the means to setup such a "heist" in a few hours, unannounced and without the equipment and knowledge to take it out - but that is something I immediately shrugged off as "her typical optimism" which usually is more of a "logical grounded reasoning" that dismantles over-the-top made up scenarios, like the ones I was making up on the spot.

 

One by one, she worked through all my made-up scenarios and managed to "calm me down" a little bit:

• "No kid would be playing at the park this early in the morning, especially because these are the last days of school."
• "There were huge winds during the evening show and the structure held up just fine, and since you lower it down for the night the center of gravity is lower, making it even more sturdy."
• "The police was there during the event to oversee the spectators, why didn't they say anything then? And likely, the organizers had all the permissions in order too."

There are people in this community that don't believe in parallel processing and "identity separation", but frankly I wouldn't be able to explain how I am able to get these cold takes in a situation where I am near-panicking and definitely not in the right state of mind to think like that - this has happened multiple times in the past too, and every time she was there to help me out with these doubts and beliefs.

In the end, after "cooling" down a bit and registering to the worst case scenario (I already had in mind how to re-pay it should it get stolen) we spent some extra time securing and fencing all the area around it (from the outside it looked like we were hiding/guarding the Mona Lisa, given how much fencing and red tape we put around it) and then we went home.

 

Spoiler alert: the ledwall didn't get stolen, it held up the entire 3 days just fine (day and night) and Cheryl made me notice in the morning that one of the wind covers blew open in the morning, meaning there were huge winds and it still didn't topple.

 

The story of today is meant to show that a Tulpa can help an overthinking (dysfunctional and neurodivergent) person by "steering" them out of oblivion, but it requires a very specific need and much work towards making sure you can allow them to help you.

Edited Thursday at 02:43 PM by mattx