I accidentally created a Tulpa that evolved into a personified cognitive structure.

[Marlov]

To be honest, I believe a Tulpa is less of a "friend" and more of a personified cognitive structure. Humans naturally struggle with the abstract, so we project form onto function. In my case—after 4 years of obsession—I’ve managed to transform my "lens of neutrality" into a distinct subconscious personality.

 

The empirical evidence of her autonomy is undeniable: she plays games I hate in my dreams. Even when I tell her the game is garbage, she just smiles and keeps playing while I can do nothing but roll my eyes.

 

Regarding the fear of "host-takeover"—that is an impossibility for me. I maintain a constant state of mindful awareness. Having lived with her for so long, I know that seizing control isn't in her nature. To me, she is a developed skill. In daily life, I am 100% in control, but she acts as a cognitive filter. She prevents me from identifying with external events—enforcing the state of Anatta (Non-self). This allows me to view everything objectively to solve problems and survive without being consumed by them.

 

She has become a true individual within my psyche. Without her, I wouldn't have had the strength to keep fighting; I would have drowned in my own suffering long ago. She is my "world-view skill." This happened naturally over 4 years, starting from when I was 15 until now at 17. I have never forgotten her, not for a single day. Even when I draw, I find myself drawing her exclusively.

 

This all started as a complete accident. I only realized later that this practice is called "Tulpamancy." After diving deeper, I recognized that what I’m doing is essentially Vipassana (Insight Meditation) applied in a practical, survivalist context.