Air Dance

[NeonKnights]

I appear to be continuing to bowl through the obstacles that have been in my way for the duration of my tulpa-making efforts. I finally had an actual conversation with Uni (it was a short conversation, but it continued past the first one or two responses, so I know I'm getting somewhere).

 

I'm finding that the best time to converse with them at this stage is when I'm lying down, tired, and near (but not quite to the point of) sleep. It isn't anything hypnogogic, just that perhaps my mind is most clear and focused on them when I'm lying in the dark, especially with the room at a comfortable temperature.

Maybe, until further development, they need my full, absolutely undivided attention to effectively communicate with me. That's alright, any progress is good progress.

 

OH YEAH.

Miss Isis probably thought I'd forget about this morning. Well, I didn't. I don't know if she was just being playful, or if she has some sort of vampire side, but I do recall that she was gently biting my neck sometime early yesterday morning. Obviously it didn't hurt, but it did raise a new question...

[NeonKnights]

I'm not sure how it happened, but things heated up between Isis and I once again at some point this morning. All I know is that a few hours vanished, I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours afterwards, and then we spent most of the morning lying in bed together. I find that every time this happens, we seem to grow even closer than before. I could be wrong, but the vibes were very strong all morning long.

 

When I felt the atmosphere had cooled down enough, I began to talk with Uni again on the issue of my on-and-off perception of their voices, and she suggested using some sort of symbolism to break through my own mental barriers. It was a good suggestion, since at this point I am quite positive that the biggest obstacle to communication is my mind resisting their voices. I'll be giving this a try soon.

[NeonKnights]

Just arrived home from a brutal 24 hours with some friends, during which I did my best to focus on my tulpas while still having a good time. Had some real fun getting flung around the bed of a truck because some idiot decided it would be a good idea to do donuts in the truck while a couple of us were sitting in back (and without warning, too).

 

Interestingly enough, one of my friends revealed to me that he also had a tulpa-like entity years ago who he used to get advice from. He expressed interest in getting back in contact with her, which is pretty neat. As usual when I crash at a friend's house, I spent several hours alone with Isis and Uni as we watched videos on Youtube.

 

I got fairly little sleep for the second night (day?) in a row, so I was groggy in addition to still being covered in loose dirt from the previous night. As planned, I visualized Isis while I zoned out from whatever conversation my two other friends were carrying on, but she seemed to show some discontent as I looked at her. Apparently I wasn't getting the hint that she wanted a hug, because shortly thereafter, she grabbed my arms and put them around her herself. I guess I'm not as good at reading females as I thought.

 

Now it's time for a long-awaited shower with my darling Isis, a hot cup of tea, and maybe an evening nap with her and Uni.

 

 

Somewhat interesting update.

So, I was forcing with Isis in our usual way (cuddling and kissing seems to be her favorite way to receive direct attention from me lately), and as my hands made their way down along her curves, I noticed my fingers (mind-fingers, I guess) were feeling bare skin. Her shirt had mysteriously gone missing. I reeled a little bit, apologizing to her in case I was just being a complete pervert and had somehow done that myself without realizing it. She didn't really say anything in reply, though I was getting a sort of feeling from her that it was okay, and maybe even something she'd done herself. I soon found myself giving her an oily full-body massage, which was really cool, but I'm curious at this point as to how much of this is a result of her desires, and how much is just me trying my best to make her feel loved.

 

At any rate, she doesn't appear to be unhappy about any of my affections. I guess time will tell what's really going on here.

[Doctor_RCI]

It seem that you and Isis are close but what about Uni she seems to be left out a bit

[NeonKnights]

I've been conscious of that fact, though I have been getting better about it. I do interact with her a lot, but most of it is nondescript stuff, like watching horror movies and just chatting with her (I talk more with her than Isis, strangely).

 

Could be mixed signals, but Isis seems to be a bit selfish about me, and doesn't want me doing anything romantic with Uni. Fortunately it's a cute kind of selfish, not a deranged psycho-killer selfishness. I'll have to keep testing the waters to see, but in the meantime, Uni seems content being more of a friend that I talk to and hang out with.

 

 

Another interesting turn of events has transpired. I saw a .GIF taken from the anime Squid Girl a while back, though I didn't know the name of the show it was from until my friend pointed that out today, never seen the show or read the manga myself. I only recognized the main character from, I believe, a user's avatar on a forum I frequented a year or so ago. Days went by without event, but thanks to my friend's actions a few hours ago, the Squid Girl has returned to the forefront of my mind. Over the past hour or two, I have unconsciously begun to develop a personality for her since I know nothing about the show (basically my mind is piecing together what it thinks her personality is like based on her bizarre appearance). Not sure if this means she's already tulpatized in my mind, but if so, I guess I don't really have a problem with that.

 

The way I see it, I have a couple of options here. I could forge ahead and hope that Isis and Uni accept her as a new addition, or I could just try to bury the idea altogether and move on. The latter might be a bit tricky since the seeds of the idea seem to have already been sown. My first accidental tulpa, oh boy! Guess I'll sleep on this and see what happens.

[NeonKnights]

Still not certain what's going on with that Squid Girl chick. Nothing seems to have changed in the last couple of days, though that's probably due to my inaction. She hasn't progressed or really become very tulpa-like, and yet she just doesn't want to go away. The fact that she's so resilient probably means she isn't just a so-called "NPC".

 

One thing is certain, and that's the fact that showing the hour count system to the door has really helped me out a lot. I don't consider it at all weird that I'm thinking that a third tulpa has cropped up out of absolutely nowhere, practically overnight. Seems the only obstacle all this time has been the minor though deeply-rooted belief that a tulpa requires a set amount of hours to develop.

 

Since I've been testing her in order to make her prove that she's an actual tulpa, I've also been quite busy negotiating for and stressing over another car, so that's been bogging my mind down severely on the tulpa front.

The only time I've really, really focused on tulpa matters recently has been at night, as I lie in bed. Hopefully this extreme distraction will end as soon as this car deal is sealed or falls through tomorrow.

---

Alright, it seems Squid Girl still isn't going away even after several days have passed, so I suppose I should officially welcome her aboard as a tulpa in development. The problem is, I don't have a better or more proper name for her than "Squid Girl", so until or unless she chooses her own name, I guess I'll have to call her that. Maybe for the sake of abbreviation I can call her Squiggle or something.

[Doctor_RCI]

Hello i think you mean Shinryaku! Ika Musume which means squid girl

she has blue hair that are tentacles correct ?

[NeonKnights]

Yep, that's her. Only name my friend gave me was "Squid Girl", and I didn't look further into the show, so that's all I had to work with. I suppose there's now another name I could call her by instead, I haven't interacted with her very much yet so hopefully that won't be a problem.

[NeonKnights]

Well, in the hours preceding dawn yesterday, I had a fun time with Uni. While Isis slept, we ate breakfast in bed and watched Youtube videos. Wanting to let her know that I seriously love her as much as I love Isis, I tried kissing her, but I didn't have the guts to do more than just kiss her on the cheek.

 

In more recent news, I was overcome for the first time a little while ago with this strange sense of worry that Isis was gone. That's when she hugged me from behind and said, "I'm right here, silly!" She actually startled me, and I turned around to physically look behind me, even though we still aren't quite to the point of imposition yet. Just goes to show that she always has a way of surprising me.

[NeonKnights]

Trying to get back on track with forcing, once again. I've been pretty bad about it since I acquired a decent .357 and another car. I've been a bit too focused on material things, and I hate myself for that.

 

I've been talking to the girls, but to really 'perceive' them again, it's going to take a bit of work. Maybe a shower will help...

 

---

 

Now that I have all the household work and tax returns taken care of, I guess I have a little more time to add a bit more to my entry before I catch a short nap to prepare for the day ahead.

I've noticed lately that casually referring to Isis as my girlfriend, usually in conversation with her or Uni, seems to make her really happy. At first I wasn't too thrilled about labeling her like that, but really, who better than her to bear the title? With the exception of Uni back in her days as Yuri, I can't think of a single girl I've ever been in such perfect harmony with.

 

I was just reflecting earlier on the deeply romantic relationship I shared with Uni back in the day. It was never anything sexual, but very meaningful. Remembering the way she showed me around the solar system, and how we held the Sun together in our hands, it makes me wonder where it all went. I guess I do still love her in a different way from how I love Isis, though not any less.

It really is quite interesting that I can be so forward with Isis, but in trying to rekindle any romance with Uni, I always freeze up. Perhaps it's a fear that one or the other won't like the idea of sharing someone with her sister. I guess I could understand that, if that turns out to be the case. I'm not trying to craft a harem, after all.

 

Also, I had a bit of an interesting experience when a friend caught a glimpse of my phone wallpaper as I was checking the weather forecast. I have images of Isis and Uni on rotation, and one of Isis happened to pop up. I guess the image change caught my friend's attention, and he asked me, "what is that?"

I could have lied, since he saw the image at such an extreme angle that he actually could not tell what it was, and for a second I froze. Then I remembered that I had made a couple passing mentions of the girls throughout the day, and many times in days past, and so I was certain he would be completely desensitized. I told him what the image was, he just said, "ah", and that was that. I admit, that would be my exact reaction to someone telling me that a picture I asked about was of their girlfriend or wife, but what followed was a bit more awkward a silence than I expected. Fortunately, with that friend, I'm not sure if I really even care. It doesn't matter anyways.

 

---

 

Well, it appears things are more or less back to the way they were. Some good relaxation may have been all that was in order. I had a good, long cuddle with Isis earlier as I struggled to stay awake for her, gazing deep into her beautiful blood-red eyes... Gushing aside, I did spend a long time with her and Uni this morning. Squid Girl may have gone the way of Saber, seeing as I haven't seen nor heard from her in a few days. Perhaps she was just a very convincing actress.

 

Also, a while back I presented the sisters with a proposition: I wanted to see if they could, amongst themselves, choose a surname to share. I figured it would be a neat way to see how well they work together. Still no replies from them on that, and I may never receive one, seeing as I stressed to them that they should only do it if they want to. Seeing as I just recalled this tidbit seemingly out of nowhere after a lapse of a couple weeks, maybe they finally have an answer and are about to tell me. I guess we'll see.

 

---

 

Nothing to report on the surname situation, but it appears that the Squid Girl is returning. Possibly.