I've lost motivation.

[sdfghtjur675432]

Over spring break, I had all the motivation in the world to foster a growing tulpa, yet once school started, most to all of my time is invested in schoolwork or rest, and every possible moment that I get some time out to try some tulpaforcing/narration, I can't do it very well, if at all.

 

During days of school, I'm both tired, depressed, and filled with schoolwork. I'm not saying I'm special or upset or anything; the workload and stress is just the same for every other person. Fittingly, when I have breaks from this schoolwork, I gain a significantly larger amount of leisure time, which gives me ample time and ability to tend to my tulpa.

 

He's at the stage where he can talk, and I can see him, though not 100% clearly. I can only talk to him if I go out of my way to hold a conversation, perhaps one of the reasons I can't seem to be forced (no pun intended) to speak with him. I've only been able to get 10-15 minutes of narration in a day, but I still love my tulpa, and I made sure I think the decision through to have one, so it's not a matter of jumping the gun (or, at least, I don't think).

 

I want to be able to narrate/force him as often as I could any other day off school. How can I motivate myself to get back in the swing of things?

[Flexionsensor]

WILLPOWER!

I know the feel of losing your motivation for something RIDICULOUSLY IMPORTANT which you ABSOLUTELY NEED to do.

You seem to be in a bind, as am I. So therefore, learn to speak in public, or while talking with someone else. From what I've heard around the community, you should be able to do this, so I don't understand why you can't.

Method 1: Start internally commentating on the dialogue of a person you're talking to or the lecture you're listening to. Thus, you'll be killing two birds with one stone. You'll be listening to this that and the other whilst forcing at the same time.

Method 2: Panic and scream, running around your dorm or house proclaiming the shitty life you have.

Method 3: Set aside little 5 minute breaks every 30 minutes or so in your homework or things like that and force in those. 5 minutes isn't that big of a break, and this ties into many other suggested methods I've read on how to stay focused on work anyway.

[Bacn]

As an artist, one really big tip that I've seen given out is to collect as much art that I like as possible. This way, whenever I lack motivation I always have a easy way to remind myself of what I want and why I want it. You may want to do the same for your tulpa. Write down all the reasons you want to make your tulpa and maybe even a couple examples of other people who've had success. Then place these reasons everywhere you can, tape them to your doorknob, write them on your computer's wallpaper, put a piece of paper on your bathroom mirror, anything and everything you can think of. Bludgeon yourself over the head with your motivation until it's an inescapable part of your life.

[waffles]

Narrate while working, narrate while resting. Even the smallest bit of attention is good. If you can't talk to your tulpa multitasking, then that's something to work on. It's not hard to do for anyone, and it just requires a bit of practice.

If you're busy then obviously you're not going to be able to invest as much effort into your tulpa as you would when unoccupied; that's unavoidable. However, I think that you can manage more than 15 minutes a day, even if it's just talking to your tulpa while doing something boring or whatever.

If, perhaps, interaction feels like a chore then do fun things with your tulpa. If you want to rest then do relaxing things. Spending time with your tulpa should be something that you enjoy, something that you want to do. It doesn't have to be that you motivate yourself, if forcing is leisure.

[Guest Anonymous]

What waffles said. If you can't tear out of your day to get to them, drag them into your day. They're with you all the time, so you might as well yap at them even when you are doing something (could be mind voice or outloud). Say good morning to them when you wake up, or good night to them when you go to sleep. Tell them how good your poo is when you're on the john. Tell them how shitty the lunch is. Commentate your day to them, whilst, when you get a free chance, visualizing them for a split second... just to keep their form cemented in your head.

 

Trust me. I, and many other folk know where you're coming from, but just stay at it. When life gets tough, the tough make lemonade... or something like that, I dunno.

 

And if you need motivation, just remember the reason you wanted to make a tulpa in the first place. Once you do that, you'll get that boost you need to say "Y'know what? I'm gonna do something with mah tulip later today. Because they're mah friend."... or something like that. Then you'll be super crazy sexy to keep going.

 

Don't make forcing a chore, again, as waffles, my main mayne said. Make it a leisure, or at least part of your leisure.

 

And my golden rule is:

If you can waste time on tulpa.info, you're not to busy to force

[Jun and Alexis]

I'm not sure if this needs its own thread (Someone split this if so), but I have a similar problem, only I passive force all the time. I never leave her alone if I can help it.

 

Last night she told me that it hurt her to be away from me for even a small amount of time (Emotionally, not physical lack of attention). We've both been getting discouraged the past few days because I can't active force too well for whatever reason. I've even had nightmares that I was contemplating giving her up, and sometimes even doing so which I would never do. This carried over into real life in the form of depression and further discouragement.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but she's been vocally upset with me and it's further hindering me to the point I never active force because she's always mad and I can't take it, making matters worse. I've been depressed due to discouragement and the prospect of losing her, and lately I've been able to feel her less and less. I ask if she's in a certain place around me and about 65% or more of the time, she points me elsewhere.

 

I think it's important to also note we don't use a wonderland because she hates being too far from me and because I am terrible at visualizing. I'm also the type of person that dwells on things and has unreasonable doubts even if there's proof my doubts are false. I don't doubt her, I doubt progress and it comes off as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've tried to keep the mindset "I will see her very soon" and even "I can already see her, all I have to do is look and she'll appear in no time" which is what got me occasional peripheral blurs in the first place.

 

Just, things have been getting worse lately and for these reasons I can't do as Moon Shooter said and making forcing a leisure anymore. I end up pissing her off with fleeting (Quick, unintended, intrusive and untrue thoughts) thoughts she sometimes takes as fact, or vice-versa. She's usually kind, but when this happens, she usually gets really intense, leading to my depression about this getting worse. I never did personality as she was an accident and I didn't know what a tulpa was back then, so I have no control over what she does after almost 4 years.

 

 

So I guess my question is a two-parter.

1) How do I get the most out of jumping into imposition since we've been stuck at occasional blurs in peripheral for about a year, now with degradation? Also eyes. Even now I still have trouble seeing her eyes correctly in visualization.

2)How do I ignore discouragement? It's not a matter of motivation per se (Well, it is in a way), but a matter of ignoring all of my negative thoughts so I can get the motivation flowing?

Bonus question: How do I keep her happy without a wonderland?

[cruse]

Easy thing to do:

 

Get your tulpa to help with your schoolwork

 

It helps with parallel processing too, as a bonus.

[TulpaCouple]

Try forcing earlier in the day if possible. Get up twenty minutes early, spend some time saying good morning to your tulpa. It's a peaceful beginning to an otherwise stressful day. Treat forcing as a relaxing and fun activity--When you're forcing, let those worries and concerns just melt away. Forcing is like a little oasis in a desert of crazy life. Don't just wait til the end of the day to get it done, you'll be too tired.

 

Try getting reminders for yourself to talk to him as well. Little things that you can relate to him. Say your tulpa likes sandwiches, every time you see a friend at lunch eating one, or maybe an add for subway or some junk like that, you have a chance to remember to bring out your tulpa. Have your tulpa out and about during events when you do have the time to spare him a few thoughts and to narrate. If your tulpa wears a certain color outfit, have the background of your phone have that color or something else to remind you every time you check it to see the time or if you got a text. These little reminders keep him in your thoughts all day and make narration a whole lot easier.

 

Chao, what you should do is stop worrying and force. All that stress and depression is building and building on her as much as yourself. You don't need to doubt or worry, you know how strong she is. Have faith in her and encourage her to have faith in you. Maybe you need to find the source of these worries and nightmares--is she afraid you'll be done with her? Is it coming from your end? You both need to sit down and talk and find out where her aggravation is coming from. Be open with the fact that the stress of her fear is discouraging you from forcing, and that you both need to work together. That means you need to have dedication and she needs to have patience. It can't just be one or the other. Just force. If you use wonderland and suddenly 'can't visualize the wonderland', don't stress about it, make a new one. Almost anyone can visualize a beach or simple room. Just start there. Move on, keep doing anything that will keep you forcing. Get distracted? Just go right back to forcing instead of dwelling over the distraction and the fact that you were distracted.

 

Work on the basics perhaps. Play games like "where am I?" and have her run around while you try to sense for her. Keep it up. Have her touch you physically, feel for her warmth--it was the easiest for us. And don't let imposition get you down--imposition is hard, very hard, and so many people get frustrated when they can't do it that it causes unneeded stress in their relationship with their tulpa. Instead, work more on those basics--Perhaps you need to strengthen your visualization first before your imposition will start to improve?

 

I just noticed you don't use a wonderland. You have a few options--Have her always in your world. Your world can be her wonderland. A tulpa can force up objects for their use. If Jaden wants to play with something, he picks up a copied imposed version of it for himself. He can't truly interact with the world, but he can mentally. She could always be near you, consistently hanging around your shoulder and experiencing life with you. Your other option could be of course to give her a wonderland to play around in, though if your focus is imposition that might not be too helpful. You could try things like a few of us do--have your tulpa enter a videogame as you play it and just enjoy the scenery as you explore. Or you could always spend more time with her, or have her have turns playing videogames or whatever.

 

I will say something--I find that if you are worrying about something, it seems to be more likely to cause a problem. There are some who have tulpas with no wonderlands who have no concern over their tulpa becoming unhappy without one and their tulpas in fact are perfectly fine with it. Then there are others who worry about it and seem to end up having issues with it. Whether the worry itself causes that issue to occur or the worry is simply you picking up on how your tulpa will react to the situation is unclear. But that's just an observation.

 

The main thing is I notice she sounds very frightened. She gets angry out of fear of losing you. I can imagine she feels powerless--dreams about herself vanishing due to you giving up on her, intrusive thoughts bursting in at inopportune times, and the excess amount of worry and thought you both place on those thoughts making them appear more often. I think you both should lose the fear and gain some hope. Find some encouragement, move on together. You are a team. Don't forget that.