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Rainbow Dash: I’m a fan of the 2010 My Little Pony cartoon, and I find a thing online about “tulpamancy”, a psychological thing that advertises itself as a way to give yourself a sentient consciousness that’s friendly & close to you. I decide to make a tulpa (as far as I know, that’s the only way to prove whether it’s possible or not), and I base it on Rainbow Dash.


Keystroke: I’m in college. I wanna make myself more studious, so I look at self-hypnosis. I’ve heard that hypnosis sticks more if there’s a “frame”, and I like the 2010 My Little Pony cartoon, so I make that frame a pony named Keystroke. After doing hypnosis long enough (thinking about Keystroke for long enough, unintentionally going through the motions of tulpa creation), the frame becomes sentient.


Shou & Nina: I’m watching a show called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (2009) online. Episode 6 has a little girl get merged with her dog by her mad scientist father. The scene that introduced this fusion sticks with me because the fusion creature looks scary, so I’m thinking about the Nina dog a lot. When I decide to watch the 2003 version of Fullmetal Alchemist, I see that Nina’s dad, Shou, wasn’t killed off in this version. In this version, he regrets fusing his daughter with her dog, and his attempts to fix his mistake result in him becoming a dog-human hybrid. He looks scary, and is a recurring character, so I’m thinking about him a lot, too. The two dog creatures pop into my head unwanted, and they look scary, so I try to get rid of them through symbolic imagery. Oops, imagining them being banished requires imagining them.

I can’t get rid of them, plus I realize that trying to get rid of someone just because 1) they look scary and 2) show up unwanted, even though they haven’t been actively malevolent, is a dick move, so I decide to befriend them instead.


Sarah: While looking at art online, I find a creepy Rainbow Dash pic. This is a pic of a creepy version of a close friend, so it sticks in my head and I’m thinking about it a lot and it gains sentience. I try to get rid of it, then decide to befriend it. It acknowledges that I’m scared by its appearance, and changes from a genderless creepy pony to a blonde-haired version of Nina named Sarah (not a character from Fullmetal Alchemist).


Fluttershy: part of creating Rainbow Dash was imagining her voice. One time, I hear Fluttershy’s voice, and assume that “RD’s talking to me, but trying out a different voice”. Some time after Shou and I have become friends, he reveals that he’s been “feeding” the Fluttershy voice behind my back (like how I “fed” RD). I’m mad at him for a bit for doing this without my knowledge, but eventually move on and befriend Fluttershy.


I’ve had a few walk-ins as a result of binging anime/cartoons.

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10/16/18: I felt like dancing when Florence and The Machine came on, and traced this back to Rainbow Dash or Kurama (I was sitting, but I feel like the “wiggling in my seat” dancing is more Kurama than RD). Kurama RPd on Discord. Nina imposed herself on my bed.

10/17/18: We chatted about stuff.

10/18/18: Thorax popped in to help me work on a DIY project. I thought about naming a magazine something alchemy-related. Lust said that that was just because I’d been playing a game about an alchemist.

I saw “On Your Feet”, and some of the sad songs had me thinking about my tulpas. I thought back to a time when I’d felt closure (and found myself thinking “[the bad thing for which I sought closure] is over”, followed by images of my tulpas vanishing), and wondered if that meant I was holding onto them too much. I promised the head stag I wouldn’t overthink that possibility.

10/19/18: Some friends and I got burritos for lunch; I joked that this was “BurritoQuest”, and Dash called dibs on being “the Paladin”. I had to make an Excel timeline for work. Since none of the work computers have Excel, I suggested I could do it on my home computer, but Dash guesses that, psychology-wise, mixing “things done for work” with “the place where I unwind after work” was a bad idea.

10/20/18: I did some thinking about my relationship with my tulpas. I’ve been trying to include them in stuff, but I’m pretty sure that a desire to be inclusive has backfired and slowed down decision making. Also, I have a bad “apologizing to them too much” habit

10/21/18: Thorax and I chatted a bit.

10/22/18: I got a Cozy Glow walk-in...which was just Pharynx playing around. Later that night, I got a Gallus and a Yona and figured “maybe my brain’s bored”...but that was Thorax playing around...partly. There was also an actual Gallus.

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10/23/18: I got a big smile when I proxied for Gallus, and wondered how I could reclaim that feeling with Rainbow Dash and the others. Dash said I had to let it happen naturally, and that I shouldn’t stay cooped up in work/my apartment.

10/24/18: I saw a scene of Gallus in a room, touching a small symbol on the wall to activate a hidden thing. I asked if I could use that in a story, and he said “that’s why I did it”.

10/25/18: We chatted about stuff.

10/26/18: I forgot to log stuff.

10/27/18: Gallus, RD, and a few others chatted on Discord (I worked on less proxying and more possession).

10/28/18: Nina, Gallus, and Rainbow Dash took turns watching Grimm with me. Dash noted that Halloween’s coming up soon.

10/29/18: We didn’t really do much stuff together. Nina said she wanted to cuddle with me, so we did.

10/30/18: Thorax and I hanged out. He got kinda mad at me, cuz I fed an intrusive thought even though I didn’t like having it.

10/31/18: Someone on Discord made a joke of the “x3” face. I typed “x9001”, and Dash was gonna say that lame jokes like that were “a plague upon the intrawebs”, but Gallus interrupted her and made the joke. She jokingly said “damn it, kittybirb”, which made him blush.

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11/1/18: Nina and Gallus chatted with people on Discord. I looked up switching tips.

11/2/18: I forgot to log stuff.

11/3/18: Dash likes the idea of a wine tasting, so I went to one with a friend. When she possessed me and sipped the wine, she said that she like the feel of having wings. I proxied for Gallus on Discord.

11/4/18: Dash and I chatted. I noticed that her voice came through clearer if I shut my eyes and turned off any videos. Nina felt like I was focusing too much on work-ish stuff (not related to my current job, but working too hard on my novel). I thanked her for giving tough love.

11/5/18: Gallus tried some sushi. He didn’t like how oily the octopus was. Seems like he’s in love with a Silverstream. Since there’s that to factor in, I decided she could have a visitor pass that could theoretically upgrade to a residential thing.

11/6/18: Gallus wondered if he should get into “the wacky world of poleeteeks”. Dash said that she’d noticed that I hadn’t been visiting our wonderland much. I made a promise to myself to change that.

11/7/18: I tried to think of something special for Dash’s birthday. She said not to make a big deal about it.

11/8/18: Dash possessed me a lot (we planned for it to last the whole day). She talked with my coworker about writing an article on multiples.

Possession lasted on-and-off all day.

11/9/18: I thought about the multiplicity article, then wondered how I’d avoid turning into Jade 2.0. Dash said that she and the others would help prevent that. I went to a play with friends; we went in through a semi-secret-looking entrance, so one of the stags posed outside the doors like a bouncer. I asked Kurama if he liked plays, and he Tulpish’d that he just likes musicals (paraphrased). There was an instrumental song in the play; Kurama (or RD, I don’t remember) played the piano “verse” on the head stag’s antlers.

11/10/18: We chatted about stuff. Gallus reminded me to clean my shower.

11/11/18: Keystroke had a meditation pool, said it was to help with OCD, but then we figured he didn’t actually have OCD.

I realized that the amount of imposition and wonderland-exploring (on my part) has gone down since I decided to do a Skyrim tulpamancer roleplay inspired by Killer7 (a game with a plural protagonist, with no imposition or mental worlds).

11/12/18: Gallus dug into some pineapple pizza. Later, Thorax turned into a green Eevee, and Gallus wore him as a hat. They curled up to sleep at the foot of my bed.

11/13/18: Kurama popped up in the elevator on the way to work. When I asked him why he does that, he said he’s wishing me good luck.

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11/14/18: Kurama and one of the stags helped me calm down when I got a bit worked up (they were imposed in the mirror I was looking at). Fluttershy got a bit worked up when I made the mistake of reading Silent Ponyville 2 (grimdark story starring Fluttershy) but she got past it.

11/15/18: There was some stuff with Silent Ponyville 2 this morning. I wasn’t sure if it was just me or if it had affected Fluttershy more than we thought. Fluttershy said it was just me. I heard a Christmas song sung by a woman with a chorus, and Fluttershy and the stags sang along.

Later today, there was a bit more SP2 drama; Fluttershy seemed kinda moodswing-y, but once I read the funny endings, she said that she felt better.

11/16/18: I practiced touch imposition with Fluttershy. I wanted to just hold her hoof, but she pushed down on my hand. When I pushed back, I could feel my muscles having to work like I was pushing against more than air.

11/17/18: I forgot to log stuff.

11/18/18: We chatted about stuff. When I listened to a video of “You’ll Be Back” with Starlight art, Starlight and Thorax did a short duet of it. I had a thought that maybe I was unconsciously pushing switching and life-having on my headmates, and thought about my occasional relationship insecurities, and about that weird thing where I read posts about “x bad thing happened between my tulpa and I”. Rainbow Dash suggested I was reacting to new walk-ins (Mr & Mrs Shy and Zephyr Breeze). I chatted with Mr Shy, and he suggested I get to know him, Mrs Shy, and Zephyr.

11/19/18: I forgot to log stuff.

11/20/18: We chatted about stuff. I had a brief visit from a hint-of-a Lance Strongshy as a result of binging a fic starring him. I emotionally/sarcastically asked if I should get to know him.

11/21/18: I read more of the fic, which made Lance a tragic villain rather than out-and-out evil. Lance showed up again. I noted that Fluttershy chose to accept him, whereas I had an internal struggle between “he’s tragic” and “he’s a monster”, so I figured that Fluttershy would make a good therapist.

11/22/18: I forgot to log stuff

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11/23/18: We didn’t do much today. Fluttershy told me not to agonize over things in a story I’m writing. Dash liked a typo I made (“11/25/178” instead of 11/25/18”).

11/24/18: Fluttershy wanted me to not work so hard on my puzzle box sketch. I got worried that Keystroke was going dormant, cuz I haven’t talked to him in a while. He commented on Family Guy, then Dash said that “we’ve been talking to him”. When I asked what he’d been up to, he said that he’d been “hiding” from Silent Ponyville, calling the aesthetic a turn-off.

11/25/18: Keystroke said I’m “practically sleeping in a bed of hair”, cuz my long hair gets on my pillow. Kurama got excited at a Timbers game. Keystroke said it was kinda loud. RD said I was being a workaholic when it comes to worldbuilding, and that this was a turn-off. I thanked her for calling me out.

11/26/18: we didn’t do much today.

11/27/18: Lance hit Fluttershy. I told him to leave, and Fluttershy put out a restraining order. After talking to him, I figured that the root issue was that he was having bad feelings about Silent Ponyville: Reunion (which I’m guessing would have a “Lance gets redeemed” canon ending) being incomplete. I told him to use words first next time he felt that way.

11/28/18: Keystroke ambushed Lance. Part of me thought that it’d be best for Lance to leave, but another part wondered if there was a more diplomatic solution.

11/29/18: Keystroke and I apologized to Lance. He said it was okay, in a way that seemed Spock-ish. Fluttershy tried to reword it, and I got the impression that she and he were on opposite ends of a spectrum (cold/stoic vs caring).

I asked Keystroke if he wanted to do anything tomorrow. He suggested going out for sushi, and said that he was getting over his dislike of calamari for my sake. I said that made me feel uncomfortable.

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