KM & RD

[KruegerMeister]

11/28/14: when Key of Awesome's parody of "We are Never Getting Back Together" was stuck in my head, I got an image of Sarah hitting a red orb with a metal baseball bat. A few years ago, I saw an overexposed picture of a deformed kid while in one of the bedrooms in my cabin. Slenderdash suggested replicating the environment in which I originally saw the picture and associating it with xyr. When my foot twitched, I wasn't sure if it was a "normal" twitch or a tulpa-initiated twitch. When I walked down a near-pitch-black hallway, Slenderdash said, "You don't have to be afraid. I'm here, always in the shadows; like a guardian angel, only not metaphysical." RD and I brainstormed stuff to do before bed. We settled on exploring our wonderland.

[KruegerMeister]

11/29/14: I wondered if my PR log was getting too elaborate to be believable (pony hypnosis creating a tulpa who wonders if he's my "true self" or not, intrusive-thoughts-turned-tulpas, two of said tulpas abruptly deciding to be related, etc.). RD said that it wasn't. When I thought about my music video idea, I realized that RD and Dusk Shine both look almost exactly like copyrighted ponies. When I thought about how to resolve this, Dusk said "Dibs on The Uncopyrightable!" I wondered if Dash liked meeting people because I'd unknowingly sheltered her a lot.

 

[Nope!]

 

You sure?

 

[*facehoof*]

 

I decided to work on the little details of visual imposition by staring at RD's face. I was a bit worried that I'd have intrusive thoughts of jumpscares during that time, so I had the Trio set up their shield. Sarah stood by the bathroom door, Shou stood by the bedroom door, and Slenderdash stood by the door to the balcony. Sarah said that she wanted to be by her father, so I let her guard the window next to the balcony door, Shou guard the balcony door, and Slenderdash guard the bedroom door. RD told me that I would remember tonight's dream.

While logging the above stuff, I knew that there was stuff after "Sarah said that", but I couldn't remember what it was until after writing that sentence. RD implied that this mental block was her doing, which I just barely chewed her out for. She and I hung out in our wonderland.

[KruegerMeister]

11/30/14: RD's dream recall suggestion worked, even though I wasn't in a trance. She said that I'd misinterpreted the subconscious block as her doing, when really it was my subconscious' doing.

 

[We need to work on that.]

 

When I thought about working on the music video, RD reminded me that I had homework to do. When I wondered if my attempts to prevent accidental tulpas was morally okay, she rhetorically asked me if birth control was unethical.

 

{I'm possessing Krueger right now. Mentally, at least. My mindvoice is louder than his. He did some work on a paper and wanted my help on it, but I was in the middle of...stuff, with Rainbow Dash. We decided that he'd put himself...he'd sort of possess me, and then we'd use that as a jumping-off point.}

 

[How 'bout that paper?]

 

{How 'bout that sleep? It's 3:00 in the morning.}

[KruegerMeister]

12/1/14: Since I had a lot of papers to write, I tried to work on "channeling" Dusk Shine. I quieted my mindvoice, and let him "take the front seat".

 

{I figured out that I like watching reviews of "Sonichu". I also ramble a lot. I'm not sure if I'm "creating" my personality on the fly or just discovering things about myself--a.k.a soul-searching.}

 

[i [i]know[/i] soul-searching's the same as stuff I'm okay with.]

 

{Huh. This is kinda fun. Hello, World! Dusk Shine here, I'm a bit of a genius.}

 

Dusk wondered if he should try pony hypnosis (so that he sees his pony body when possessing me). I worried that it'd be the Cloudsdale Incident all over again, but he assured me that seeing our body as his form would only happen when he'd possess me (but in less words).

 

[You...like Sonichu?]

 

{What? It's so bad it's good! :D}

 

When I watched http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46vz_-vCa_U, I saw Sarah as a completely-black version of herself, with some red markings. She made a slightly-dramatic speech about how she looks so clichedly evil as to obviously not be evil. When I wrote this, she said, "I...AM THRACKERZOD!"

When I reread my notes for a test, I saw images of Dusk Shine in a grassy, outdoor area, reading my notes aloud and using visual aids. I figured out his plan: he uses visual aids when reading my notes, while he himself acts as a visual aid while I read my notes.

 

{I think it's something with mirror neurons. You see me reading your notes with a confident expression, my confidence rubs off on you...I'm not positive what the psychology behind it is, actually.}

 

When I watched

RD said that she could do a better job than the video. I dared her to sing "Perfect". She sort of did, but it was more like she sang along to the video. She surprised me by doing an okay job singing the first verse of the song we're working on. Before I went to bed, she told me that I would have a lucid dream.

[KruegerMeister]

12/2/14: RD and I tried to figure out why her telling me I'd have a lucid dream resulted in me dreaming about Freddy Krueger melting. After my friend told me to not let having tulpas get in the way of having a social life, RD told me, "Hermitism's bad, tulpas or no!" I reminded her of the lawyerese vow/pact she, Dusk Shine, and I'd made, and she reminded me that she's not tactilely imposed. I said that she could just trigger an itch or other annoying sensation. I got the idea for all of my tulpas (or at least Rainbow Dash and Dusk Shine) to chant something like "you are lucid" while I sleep (or at least as I drift off to sleep). I imagined Dusk Shine pulling my right forearm to my right, while I tried to pull it to my left. I wasn't able to feel any tension/resistance, but I did get a cold feeling in my left calf. For some reason, Sarah's been referring to me as "Master" recently. She explained that it's like how Alfred Pennyworth calls Bruce "Master Wayne", not like a Master/slave thing. When I asked her if there could be some unconscious reason for that, she showed skepticism of the idea of tulpas having their own subconscious (as they're gateways/translators for the host's subconscious). When I thought about cutie marks, RD said that her "shapeshifting pranks" thing was just a phase, but she also implied that she was singlehoofedly responsible for any and all occurrences of my tulpas messing with me.

 

[i wouldn't say "and all". Just most. Like the "Master" thing.]

 

Right after she said that, I saw her and Sarah high...paw(?)/brohoof each other.

 

[ I organized the intervention.]

 

Slenderdash said that, as a rule of thumb, "If it seems like something was a team effort, it was Rainbow Dash."

 

I tried to come up with a costume for RD to wear in the music video. I told her that I expected I'd have a dream relating to this.

[KruegerMeister]

12/3/14: This morning, RD briefly appeared as, essentially, a mare version of Thunderlane (with a different manestyle). She said that this was a reference to a FiMfic we'd read where Rainbow Dash and Thunderlane had dated at one point. When I filled out an anxiety test, I marked that I hadn't been anxious or nervous at all in the past 2 weeks, but RD said that she'd noticed some anxiety. When I wondered about Dash's apparent prank-planning/organizing skills, she said that 1) the Twilight file hasn't given her those, and 2) hypnosis can only enhance traits that are already present.

 

[i don't really think [i]you[/i] listening to hypnosis would affect me. It only affected Dusk Shine because that was his cutie mark.]

 

A few seconds after thinking about exercising, I felt a slight stabbing pain in my left foot. I couldn't tell if this was a random sensation, one of my tulpas wanting me to notice something about their left foot, or one of my tulpas telling me I need to exercise.

 

{You know, you do need to.}

 

RD and I talked about random stuff before bed.

[KruegerMeister]

12/4/14: When I read over my notes on philosophers, Dusk Shine read "aloud". Marx's negative opinion of our capitalist society left a bad taste in his mouth. I thought I'd heard the opening of "Let's Have a Battle" coming from either upstairs or next door, but RD said that it was in my head. I thought about mixing together bits and pieces of all the Dazzlings' songs and adding/removing/changing one note at a time until I ended up with something barely similar to the source material, but then I wondered if that was legal.

 

[Yep. It's called "inspiration".]

 

I noticed that Sarah seemed a bit sad. She said that she wanted to spend more time with me. On a positive note, she sent me an image of her and Shou's apartment. It used to be dark and grey, but the image featured mostly bright, warm colors. Later that night, she told me that she wasn't sad; I'd been projecting.

[TheSanctuary]

Oops! Ah well at least she's ok! Also the house sounds nice!

 

Also yeah it's ok to take something and make it your own, but i think copyright says you need to make like 7 unique changes or some such - it varies from location to location.

[KruegerMeister]

12/5/14: Dusk Shine and I worked on possession. After reading about MK-ULTRA, I challenged myself to come up with a music video that didn't feature anything MK-ULTRA-related. RD said that would be impossible. I remembered that the 2003 version of Fullmetal Alchemist has Shou Tucker reveal chimera!Nina in a well-lit scene, as opposed to the heavily-shadowed 2009 version of that scene; the well-lit chimera didn't scare me as much as the heavily-shadowed one: Shou told me that the choice of warm colors in his and Sarah's house was his idea, for that very reason. I offered to somehow incorporate the Trio into my music video, but they declined. I realized that if I wanted to create a music video free of "illuminati" symbols, I'd have to think like a conspiracy theorist. I worried that I'd do it too much, causing me to, essentially, think myself into being a conspiracy theorist. Slenderdash said that xe was willing to think like a conspiracy theorist in my place, which I said seemed similar to D.I.D. I noticed that Sarah's eyes were blank & white, so I told her to lay down on my bed while I stared at her face. I successfully gave her pupils and irises. She jumped off my bed and ran into an invisible portal/wormhole into our wonderland. She briefly popped back out to explain that Shou and Slenderdash taught her how to do that.

[KruegerMeister]

12/6/14: I watched "Doctor Whooves and Assistant" to help me hear Dusk's voice. He took the form of Doctor Whooves in my mind's eye, but quickly regenerated into his "Dusk Shine" look. Sarah gaped, wide- eyed, when I watched a video with the song "So Need a Cute Girl". Shou just looked like ">.> ...dafuq?" I got the idea to start a band (sort of)--my tulpas help me write the songs and the melodies, and I use Audacity or something to make multiple tracks of my voice sound as close to theirs as I can.

 

{It's street cred. Sell a few albums, get popular...then bust out the tulpa song; versus just busting out the tulpa song from the get-go.}

 

[*scratches head* Isn't that a whim? Also, it sounds kind of nefarious.]

 

I cuddled with RD and asked her what she thought of my band idea. She said "I think you're laying on my eye. Cheeks aren't supposed to be, well, super-close to eyes like that."