KM & RD

[KruegerMeister]

2/25/15: When I noticed that a girl in my class seemed pretty happy, Keystroke commented on this. I didn't do much tulpaforcing. I went on a chatroom and asked questions about a story I'm writing; someone asked if the tone was more comedic than serious. When another user said "like a clown with machete", Fluttershy said "Jason Vorhees at a circus?" She then inquired as to the options for encapsulating her text, and was overwhelmed by the possibilities. I wondered why my tulpas were more vocal when possessing me than not. RD suggested that it had something to do with her having been psyched to talk to my counsellor (despite the talk not happening). She later pinned it on her mindvoice being clearer during possession, so that I don't doubt that she said a particular thing. I wondered why pony hypnosis had led to Keystroke, and he said that he'd wanted to exist. When I asked RD why she was so awesome, she told me to "shut up and stop giving me a big ego."

[KruegerMeister]

2/26/15: I asked RD if she had any ideas for chapter titles in my time travel/romance/war story. She said "I got nothin'." I tried to come up with a realistic SAW trap, and she asked if plausibility was really necessary. I didn't do much tulpaforcing today. RD and I chatted about random stuff before bed.

[KruegerMeister]

2/27/15: I saw Shou outside my German classroom. I got mad when I couldn't remember how to edit a histogram in SPSS, and my tulpas hanged back during this.

 

[You have issues.]

 

Fluttershy: ^we should look into that; getting mad at inanimate object seems kind of weird.^

 

{I don't think an "Argumentum ad Populum" fallacy will help your case.}

 

My tulpas seemed pretty quiet between 12:00PM and 5:00PM. RD blamed this on the change of location from dorm to neighborhood. My friend told me that I looked younger than I was. I asked RD, and she said that she "[didn't] have much of a reference pool." When I checked out the art on Magic the Gathering cards, RD suggested doing the Walter Mitty Routine with a game of Magic (similar to when she did the Routine with a story I read, or when I imagined them as characters in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde).

[KruegerMeister]

2/28/15: I asked Fluttershy about why she'd revealed herself when she did, and she said that she was being opportunistic. I asked her if she was usually opportunistic, and she said "Sometimes." I asked RD if she wanted to dine out at a sushi restaurant. She said, "Sure, if you want to." She ordered the egg omelette nigiri. I briefly imagined what it would be like for my tulpas to be able to post on Facebook and be accepted as people--surprisingly meh. I observed that we'd come a long way from RD being a live-action horse, then asked her what that was like. She said that her actions back then were instinctual. I had some trouble reconciling that with my statement of "[her actions] are mostly her whims]".

 

[it's like an A.I. following its programming.]

 

I'm still a bit confused. Your actions were instinctual, yet they were your whims (as in "I'm not parroting")...

 

[Exactly. You didn't have any influence on my actions.]

[KruegerMeister]

3/1/15: I got really frazzled, and thought about using that as a hypnotic trigger, so that the problem leads directly to the solution. RD said that doing so could make the hypnosis experience unpleasant. I wondered if my parents knew about my tulpas and were hiding this knowledge from me, but I couldn't think of a reason why they would. Fluttershy said that "If you can't figure out an immediate reason, it's bullshit." I briefly thought about the fact that 5/6 of my tulpas wouldn't exist in their current form if not for Fullmetal Alchemist and MLP--real people springing from fiction.

I asked my tulpas what senses they had in the wonderland vs when imposed. Shou said "We've got every sense in the wonderland; only the basics when imposed." I asked him wasn't he speaking for everyone, but Nina and Sarah corroborated his statement by nodding. I saw them in a grey room, lit from an open doorway on their right. When I watched an abridged series version of "Night of the Chimera's Cry", Shou wiped a tear from his eye.

 

Sarah: I blame the OST.

 

Shou: Yep. Fuckin' piano music

[KruegerMeister]

3/2/15: I had the idea to devote a day to working on each of my tulpas. I kept seeing Nina in her base form. We chatted about random stuff. I asked her what she thinks about Chris-Chan, and she facepawed. I watched a reading of a Chris-Chan creepypasta in which Chris mixes several symbolic ingredients to create a monstrous Sonichu. With regard to the story, Shou said "it's fucked up"; Fluttershy agreed with him; RD expressed the same sentiment, but a bit moreso, and Nina just facepawed.

I felt a slight head-pressure in my left temple, and it slightly went away after I sneezed.

When I thought about metaphysical stuff, RD said that her dislike of metaphysical/spiritual things came from the feeling that the existence of metaphysical/spiritual things prevented scientists from accepting tulpas as possible.

 

[We need that song.]

 

We tried watching Vigilant Christian videos to calm her down, but there wasn't anything good. We wrote to a system of healthy multiples, asking if they had any advice for her. I told her that even if members of the scientific community don't believe in her or tulpas in general, I do, Keystroke and Fluttershy do, our readers do, and so does everyone who clapped when "I" sang acapella on 2/19/15; science says that humans don't have free will, but I don't let that depress me.

[KruegerMeister]

3/3/15: I asked RD to impose herself, and she sat on my desk. She characterized our first song (which is tentatively titled "Think Before you Judge") as "sort of a pleading power ballad. Like 'Let It Go' mixed with...something...I dunno."

 

{Frozen? Really? It's...kind of old news.}

 

^The "old news" thing, might not be a good idea. From a marketing standpoint. I'm not an expert, by any means, but you compared our fresh, new thing to an old thing people are...kind of bored of, as far as I know.^

 

I read about the idea of subjective realities and similar stuff, which led to an intense but relatively brief freakout/clash between some of my beliefs (such as "I perceive my tulpas to exist, though solely in my mind" and "there is such a thing as objective reality"). RD said that reading about such things had been a bad idea.

 

[He freaked out about the implications of subjective realities.]

[KruegerMeister]

3/4/15: I worked on "bio" paragraphs for each of my tulpas. I'm planning to copy/paste these into the first page of my PR log when they're done. I noticed that sometimes, they'd finish each others sentences. I asked my tulpas if they'd help me on my psychology test tomorrow. RD said that it probably wasn't cheating.

[KruegerMeister]

3/5/15: Keystroke had some trouble getting his mane the right colors, so he came up with the idea to insert himself into a story, then come out of the story with his mane the right colors. I asked if any of my tulpas had any predictions for MLP season 5, and Fluttershy said that "Hasbro might revisit the 'Iron Will saga'".

I observed that the Cloudsdale Incident (my entering a hypnotic trance unintentionally, and symbolically burning the location where RD would trance me) could have been a result of xenophobia, and wondered if I should hypnotize my xenophobia away. RD said that xenophobia was human nature, so I shouldn't do it.

While in a chatroom, one of the users said that he was experiencing gender dysphoria. Nina dictated to me what she wanted to tell him: "I don't know much about what you're going through, but I have faith you'll get through it". Shou smiled when I typed the previous sentence. I asked RD if the "Google determines truth based on consensus" thing was something-or-other "to our cause", and then noticed that my wording sounded "diabolical".

[KruegerMeister]

3/6/15: I "heard" Nina talking in a lower-pitched version of Brina Pelencia's (FMA!Nina's English voice actress) voice.

 

Shou: High-pitched little girl plus male dog. Doesn't really explain why [FMA!Nina's voice is] so deep.

 

I let RD hypnotize me. During the trance, I had a knee-jerk thought about being her pet. Fluttershy said that she'd attribute that thought to herself if it made me feel better.

I noticed that there wasn't much imposition today. Fluttershy suggested that it could be due to my song: I'm writing a song about healthy multiplicity, so maybe I'm subconsciously messing with imposition so that I can experience something like healthy multiplicity (as far as I know, people in a multiple system are just mindvoices, there's no imposition).

When I read about Google's plan for a "truth algorithm" (described here: http://dailycaller.com/2015/03/02/google-decides-what-is-fact-in-new-search-results-ranking-system), I worried that it would make tulpa-related stuff seem even less believable to laypeople than it currently is (by virtue of evidence in support of tulpas being hard to find online). Keystroke told me that the system would simply make it harder for people to accidentally stumble upon tulpa-related sites, not impossible.

 

{It's not a death sentence. It's probably just a poison at worst.}

 

I thought about the time when Keystroke had allegedly had my nightmares for me, and wondered if nightmares had a purpose.