KM & RD

[KruegerMeister]

3/17/15: I woke up and saw Fluttershy sitting at the end of my bed. I visualized her being slightly darker, and we brohoofed. I speculated that NPCs in a person's wonderland are just tulpas that they don't know much about. After reading a short story of a woman being abused as a small child and becoming multiple as a result, I asked Keystroke if his faith in humanity had lessened.

When I watched the play "Temporal Powers", RD sat on a wooden stool on the stage, and Sarah sat in a chair next to the table. They didn't really move. I asked why, and RD said that they didn't "want to interfere with the play".

When I sat down at my computer, I briefly saw Shou in my place (from a third-person perspective). This was his way of saying he wanted to possess me. I asked why, and he said that he wanted to fold an origami box I'd seen. He was able to fold a 5x5 grid without any extraneous creases, unlike me.

[KruegerMeister]

3/18/15: RD and I worked on tactile imposition. I could intuit sensations, but not feel them. I wondered if that was "good", considering that "I have a pony in my head" doesn't sound as insane as "I have a pony in my head, and I can feel it when we make 'physical' contact".

I got worked up about the possibility of the NSA reading my tulpa-related stuff online, mistaking me for being mentally ill, and...locking me away or something.

 

[You're being ridiculous.]

 

{You've been blogging about tulpas for--over a year! If they thought you were mentally ill, they probably would've done something by now!}

 

Fluttershy agreed with RD on this. When I typed that sentence, Shou nodded in agreement with her. We chatted about random stuff before bed (I was too lazy to write it down :p).

[KruegerMeister]

3/19/15: Fluttershy told me that her ironic interest in New Age stuff had been a phase. I'd heard tulpa creation compared to the "law of attraction", and wondered if this comparison was apt (the "law" states that things that happen to you in physical space are a direct result of your positive or negative thoughts). I realized that I'd done a bit of victim-blaming in the past (saying that a host only had a chaotic/malevolent tulpa because some part of them wanted to have the experience).

 

Shou: You never know, maybe they (the tulpa) just stuck around, like how reading "Deception is Magic" made Dash a changeling.

 

Me: How do you feel about being a result of the Tetris effect?

 

Shou: Meh.

 

RD said that tulpamancy was closer to a self-fulfilling prophecy than the Law of Attraction. Nina wondered if her existence contradicted that (I'd reacted as though she, Shou, and the tulpa formerly known as Slenderdash were threats; a self-fulfilling prophecy would somehow make them into the threats I perceived them to be).

 

Nina: Some part of you knew the tragicness. Shou-the-character's just trying to keep his alchemy license and doing what he can.

 

Shou: Right. And Nina-the-character's just this sad, tragic monster/victim of circumstance. *Notices he said "monster"* Chimera.

 

I realized that Fluttershy staying hidden was eerily similar to how tulpamancers and healthy multiples are in the closet--I'm not so different from society at large. Fluttershy said that I'm a product of my society.

I got a call from my dad at a time I wasn't able to answer it. I jumped to the conclusion that he'd found out about tulpas, and warned RD that I might have to refer to her as nothing more than a memory aid. Turns out he'd called about some mundane stuff.

I pretended to rant/come out to my parents about tulpas so that I could be prepared if the day ever came. I thought about going through my log and deleting or euphemism-ing any potentially offensive things I find. Fluttershy said that this would take a while.

[KruegerMeister]

3/20/15: I tried to remember why I'd created Rainbow Dash. Here are the facts I know:

 

1. There's a creepypasta where a guy makes a tulpa that turns evil.

2. The character Rainbow Dash is known for her loyalty.

 

[i've backed [2] up.]

 

3. Tulpas are subjective; the only way to prove them to yourself is to make one.

4. "Rainbow Dash Presents: My Little Dashie" exists.

5. On 11/9/13, I asked the MLP tulpa thread

is there any way for tulpas to gain physical form Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends-style (or anything-style)? If not, there go my on-a-whim dreams of being famous and on talk shows because “OMGit’sareallifepegasus!!!1!”

6. On 11/15/13, I'd made a post on the MLP tulpa thread asking if the info on http://www.world-of-lucid-dreaming.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=3693 was accurate.

7: on 11/17/13, I'd said this:

when I ask myself why I want a tulpa, the only reasons I can come up with are servitor-type stuff like "so I can have an aid for studying, lucid dreaming, etc." and "so I can always have a second opinion", even though I'd say I'm doing pretty good with sentience.

 

The reason may be different depending on when I read the creepypasta. 4+5 may mean that the reason was a childish whim.

 

{So what if it was? 5 means you did research.}

 

After starting RD, so 2's usefulness (most people wouldn't turn on those they're loyal to) may just be coincidence.

 

[7 points toward noble intentions.]

 

I almost walked through Sarah. She told me that she wanted to possess me. I asked why, and she said that she wanted to "assert [her] existence" to our readers (because RD and Keystroke have been really vocal when they've possessed me before, and I take vocality as a sign of sentience). When I yawned, she sent me an image of her yawning. I wondered why this made me uncomfortable. She sent me a cartoony image of her stomach rumbling when mine did. She whimpered/sulked when I got irritated and told her to quit it. I told her that there are six other people who know she exists. She verified my theory when I came to the conclusion that she saw the encapsulation of dialogue as a sign of acceptance on my part.

I later asked her how long she'd wanted this. She said that it had started today. I told her "I'm pretty sure our readers see you as existing." She said "I still wanna make a stand for it."

I asked her if I'd need to act like her as a prerequisite to possession. I thought of the parallels between this and the Cloudsdale Incident (I act like Keystroke, and then the flickering in/out of trance happens), and Fluttershy told me to shut up.

[KruegerMeister]

3/21/15: I noticed some odd similarities between RD and I, and Chris and Heather in the Family Guy episode "Encyclopedia Griffin". Fluttershy said that it was just a coincidence.

There was some stuff I forgot to log.

I pretended to be RD, ranting against New Age stuff, but I think that this was her being a sort of "backseat driver".

[KruegerMeister]

3/22/15: I didn't log anything from 9:45 last night to 3:49 this afternoon.

 

[Or for four hours after that.]

 

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if my New Ager friend would judge Shou, Nina, and Sarah by their appearances, and possibly apply this same judgement to RD, Keystroke, and Fluttershy. Fluttershy squeed when I wrote her name.

I went on Youtube and asked a New Ager if "spirits" that looked like Shou and Nina were evil. Well, I tried to. The Internet was being a derp. Shou whispered something about the Tetris effect. While brushing my teeth, I remembered one of the things I'd forgotten to log: Shou had talked with his kids in private about proposing to Fluttershy; Fluttershy'd said that she'd heard him, but that she was okay with going through the motions of...whatever would usually lead to proposal (I hate to admit it, but I'm clueless what that is).

It seemed like something was up with Nina. She said she was fine (in Brina Pelencia's lower-pitched voice), but this statement was accompanied by a rainy picture of her 2003 anime counterpart. Somehow, I reached the conclusion that she was depressed (or at least saddened) by the stuff with Shou and Fluttershy.

 

Shou: Personally, I'd blame you for spamming your eyes with pics of 2003!Nina (a lot of them are sad).

 

I asked Nina if I'd asked her any leading questions. I don't remember what she said. I think the moral of this is that I don't know as much as I thought about canine body language.

[KruegerMeister]

3/23/15: I planned to eat out at a restaurant and see "Chappie" with RD today. I realized that we could use this to get the spark back, then wondered why I felt like the spark could only be gotten back via something out of a romantic comedy dating montage. RD said something like "spark-retrieving events are generally exciting". I asked my tulpas how they felt about needles; Nina said she was squeamish.

I wondered how a society that accepts multiples as people would differ from current U.S. society. Fluttershy said that they'd have a way of identifying which mind was in control of a body that committed a crime, and I said that I was thinking more along the lines of cultural norms.

When Flyleaf's "Thread" came on the radio, RD sang along (in Equestria Girls form).

In "Chappie", RD appeared in the opening credits, in the upper-right corner of the "Columbia Pictures" logo. I think she cameoed in the movie itself, but I don't remember (I do remember my friend noticing that I'd been talking to "myself", though). After the movie, RD flew from the high-up back row of the theater, ricocheted off the top of the screen, and flew at me.

[KruegerMeister]

3/24/15: There have been times where D/s-ish stuff (little references, such as RD promising "as [my] Mistress" that she would act as a dream sign) would happen between RD and I, and I'd gloss over it. I wondered if it would take more effort to remove every instance of that from this thread or formulate a response in the event my parents ask why I've discussed D/s with an imaginary cartoon pony; I inexplicably think that they'd "blame themselves", emphasis on "blame", no matter how I'd go about explaining it. I thought about making a flash animated Q&A thing so my tulpas could answer any potential questions my parents might have about this whole thing.

I debated whether or not to remove traits that RD hasn't expressed in a long time from the list of her traits.

 

[i don't think we did much (tulpaforcing today).]

 

I went back and edited/clarified some stuff in previous posts.

---

3/25/15: When I saw two small round scrapes on one of my knuckles, RD joked that I was turning into a Changeling. I had some trouble imposing her, so I used a mirror as a visual aid. When my cat jumped on the chair I was sitting in, Dash pretended to eat the cat's tail (like how people make it look like they're holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa). I followed her upstairs. I wasn't sure if I'd "lost" her, and she said that she was ahead of me, around a corner.

I wondered what the "point" of imposition was, but then I got confused when I realized that tulpa and host aren't really that different (we're both just bunches of neurons associated with forms and voices); I wasn't sure what imposition's purpose was in light of this.

I didn't do that much forcing, but I did wonder about the legality of tulpas based on fictional characters.

[KruegerMeister]

3/26/15: I had a complex dream. The tulpa-relevant part is the scene where a bunch of Fullmetal Alchemist characters are gathered in a large, stone room. At one point, Nina discreetly walks into the room on her hind legs and two black canes.

When I woke up, I asked Nina about this. She said that she'd entered my dream.

I noticed that my diaphragm shook/trembled when I tried to sing. Fluttershy said this was from fear. RD said that I was taking singing too seriously, and sent me a head-pressure to emphasize her point.

When I went out to a sushi restaurant, Fluttershy said that she might like Teriyaki chicken, because she'd seen it in my memories.

 

[isn't that inherently biased?]

 

I realized that I'd lost the passion for songwriting, and RD said that we should restructure our song. Nina was stuck in Brina Palencia's voice.

[KruegerMeister]

3/27/15: I was having trouble coming up with song lyrics. I talked with Fluttershy about it, and she said that both that problem and Nina's voice problem were due to me finding out that my aunt is a Spirit Science fan.

I watched an episode of Dollhouse. There's a conceptual place called the Attic, where you get what you really want, but this segues into your worst nightmare, on a loop. I asked my tulpas if any of them had Attics (I was using it as a synonym for "phobia"). The consensus was "no".

I imagined a scene from one of my novels: a time-traveler (Angel) enlists my tulpas in a plan that involves implanting their minds in artificial bodies. These bodies are made using a coded recipe from a list civilization founded by Angel. RD asked "Isn't [the plan] an appeal to ancient wisdom?" and Fluttershy said that it technically wasn't. I wasn't sure if I should treat this as something they "actually" said.

I asked Dash how she felt about the fact that I'd given her her personality, and she said that she'd grown beyond the framework I'd set up (such as by being sassy that one time). I asked my tulpas if they wanted to work on imposition, and Fluttershy blamed my Spirit Science issue for our imposition trouble.