KruegerMeister May 15, 2015 Author May 15, 2015 5/13/15: I wondered if a guide to a DIY thing would be paradoxical. [Maybe.] Keystroke worked on sounding like Dr. Whooves. {*sings "Big Bang Two" to try and get the accent down*. Okay, so I've got the long "a" sound...I can't figure--w00t, got the "u" sound down :) --anyway, I can't figure out when to drop the "t".} When I looked up "Yorkshire dialect", he asked, "You know phonetic symbols, right?" {"Phonetic" has a hard "t"... *jots down notes*} When I licked a Push Pop, Fluttershy suggested not sticking my tongue out as far as I was. RD chuckled when I made a typo. She wondered if a desire to be accepted as existing by mainstream society was insecure. I was about to take my phone out of my pocket, when RD said it was 12:30AM. It was 12:37. I wondered if hypothetical switching would take me completely into the wonderland, so that I'd have no idea what my tulpas would be up to. [uh, Krueger? We do have sense-monitoring stuff in here. Also, your subconscious wont let you completely dissociate, I don't think.]
KruegerMeister May 16, 2015 Author May 16, 2015 5/14/15: Keystroke tried to pick a birthdate. He settled on the day I'd accepted him as a tulpa (8/23/14). I have a lot of pent up rage, and no clue who to direct it at. RD selflessly offered to act as a punching bag, although I declined. [i'm just trying to help you out! Do you even know the guy who did it?] Later, I bought Nina an egg, cheese, and bacon breakfast sandwich from Starbucks. We were going to have her possess me to eat it, but I apologized for being really sweaty (it was a long walk to/from Starbucks). Sarah: Sister, I think Dash could taste his food without possessing him. Nina: Huh. Me: To see her form over mine, I mimed washing my human body away, or coating it with hers. Nina: *after taking a single bite of the sandwich* Review time! The bacon is subtly "there", which gives it a...I'm not sure what, but I'd probly notice if it weren't there. Me: After this, she helped RD with choreography. [i'm practicing my dance moves.] Nina: This. Watch it, peoples. Nao. Me: On a tulpa chatroom, Nina and Sarah asked for tips on encapsulating their text. RD chatted with some other Rainbow Dash-based tulpas about the Wonderbolts vs the Shadowbolts.
KruegerMeister May 17, 2015 Author May 17, 2015 5/15/15: While I was doing a free-writing assignment in English, Fluttershy chimed in, and the content of the assignment became mostly her transcribed thoughts. I asked her if she wanted to possess me to read what is written aloud. ^*fangirl shriek* I'm gonna leave a mark on the world! I mean, I know they'll just see it as Krueger, but it'd still be nice.^ [*smiles and ruffles Fluttershy's mane*] RD laughed when someone's phone went off in class. When I read about (name censored out of courtesy), all of my tulpas were scared of non-tulpamancers comparing me to him. [is it the "plushie" thing? He takes a plushie on dates, and that's why the tulpa community wants nothing to do with him? Yeah, he's too weird for the guys with ponies in their heads.] They all imposed theirselves in my room, so that we could shake on a promise not to let me become like him. In the past few days, I've imagined chats between RD and Ashleigh Ball. Two things end up happening: RD gets worried about Hasbro suing, or she gets worried about Ashleigh being creeped out. [because she's a celebrity, and celebrities' opinions hold a lot of weight.] I remembered that I'd briefly glossed over sexual topics in past entries, and wondered if I should censor those. While reading through the log, I noticed that on 6/23/14, RD said there was a distinction between sex with her and fantasizing about her, but she said the opposite on 7/23/14. [People can change!] You said that a few minutes after I'd written about the apparent contradiction. [*facehoof* Again, you can't bang a delusion!] *does ctrl+F and starts from page 1* "Sex" (not including asking if something is sexual): 7 "Clop": 2 "Fap": 1 "Mistress" (in a sexual sense): 0 "D/S"/"D/s"/"Domination/submission" (in a sexual sense): 0, I think. RE: the number stuff: [Question to the audience: does this reflect badly on the tulpa/tulpamancer community? We here at Kruegerland are keeping what we do behind closed doors, behind closed doors made of fogged-up glass.] ^I'd say it's fogged-up enough.^ Fluttershy assumed that people who read anything like "RD and I had sex" aren't imagining anything super-extreme. I read more about the guy with the plushie, and RD said "...Maybe you should stop reading, Pet." [...I think I have minor shellshock.] ^*Grabs RD's hoof and takes her into her (Fluttershy's) office*^ When RD expressed worry over...I forget what, Fluttershy told her matter-of-factly, "You're living in fear, Mistress." RD facedesked and asks if she was a hypocrite. Fluttershy said that she was, but that it "[wasn't] anything [they] [couldn't] work on." [That could be annoying. Too many brackets.]
KruegerMeister May 18, 2015 Author May 18, 2015 5/16/15: On 10/15/14, I'd said that calling our wonderland "our wonderland" was like calling a planet "world", and RD had said my argument was lame. I think that, recently, she'd made that argument, or agreed with Shou when he did. [*facehoof* People can change!] While reviewing my PR log, I was a bit uncomfortable at...something-or-other. [i've said it three times already!] I noticed that, over a period of several months, Keystroke had repeatedly flip-flopped between being Rainbow Dash's pet, and not being her pet but being curious about it. {*grits teeth* It's called indecisiveness; (your) doubt makes me hate you, or at least not like you.} Sorry, man. [Let's just put that behind us, and focus on something else. *grabs Keystroke and uses Kaa Eyes on him*] ^It's super-effective.^ Later, I thought about imposing a "direction" onto my tulpas' mindvoices. While I was studying, I "heard" RD's mindvoice from behind me and to my left. I noticed that after some rigorous stretching, I felt hot. Fluttershy recommended stretching less-rigorously next time. When I checked the time and saw that it was 3:12AM, RD said I needed to go to bed.
KruegerMeister May 18, 2015 Author May 18, 2015 After watching a Howard Stern video, I imagined a scenario in which my tulpas and I were on his show. Later, I wondered how much we'd done today. RD said that we'd done a lot of stuff, but that I'd forgotten to log it. Before bed, we cuddled, and I randomly decided to hum "Tubby Wubby Pony Waifu". This made me sort of feel like crying happy tears, but I couldn't. Dash laid her hooves over my hands.
KruegerMeister May 19, 2015 Author May 19, 2015 5/18/15: When I watched CollegeHumor's video "How to Plan a Wedding in 10 Steps (the Honest Version)", I saw the "banana unpeeler" part and asked "What the hell is that?" RD answered "Hilarious." I had some trouble talking to my friend about tulpas without getting sweaty. RD suggested that I try to perform some task that would involve me confronting that flaw. A few hours later, I felt groggy after RD briefly hypnotized me (or maybe it was Keystroke possessing me. I saw her hypnotizing Keystroke in our wonderland, and I sort of reverse-possessed him). {Because reasons, you see.} I asked my tulpas if my grogginess affected them. RD said it did (I saw an image of her in Shou and Nina's house when she said this). I asked her how she could vouch for the other five, and she showed me that Nina and Shou were bored. Sarah: Hey, are there any new movies coming out? And when are you and your mom gonna watch Fullmetal Alchemist? Me: Dunno. I have a test coming up. RD said that she'd study what I knew while I slept tonight. Fluttershy advised trusting my gut.
KruegerMeister May 21, 2015 Author May 21, 2015 5/19/15: Nina told me about German datives and accusatives, with examples and visual aids. I bought her a cup of beef-flavored ramen. Nina: As we speak, I'm possessing him to eat that beef-flavored goodness he bought. Review in 3...2... Me: she turned off the fan in my/our room. I thought that she'd swayed her hips when turning around to do this, and asked her about it. Nina: I'm a girl. Back to the food: either the food was undercooked; or the bad, unfunny video I was watching altered my impression of the food; or else the food was just bad. Keystroke read to me when I-- {When we (and Mistress Dash, for a few pages).} --reviewed my psychology textbook. He seemed excited about it, the way Twilight would get really excited about learning. When I typed "Mistress", I wondered "why does that word always get me!?" I'm fine hearing it, and fine seeing it, but typing it's another story. {Fluttershy or I haven't used it much, on purpose, so you wouldn't have to type it.} [*cough*fear*cough*] {*facehoofs at his deliberate avoidance of the word*} When I ate a Crunch'd Cheez-it, Fluttershy asked "Why do I think this is what kibble tastes like?" [Probly 'cause they both look really dry.] {*referring to helping Krueger study* I've got a class to teach...} After he read a few more pages, I observed that he'd been nailing his accent without even trying. {Okay, in recent memory, Fluttershy used the word once, probably a couple months back. I still think it's safe to say we haven't used the word much.} There was some stuff I forgot to log. 5/20/15: Fluttershy blamed my word-avoidance on the film "The Pughkeepsie Tapes" (because the villain is a serial killer who tortures a girl until she's Stockholm Syndrome'd into thinking of him as "Master"). [Warning: definitely not for the faint of heart.] ^Maybe you should watch it and leave the uncomfortableness behind when it ends.^ [should I hypnotize him so that the uncomfortableness lessens every time she says "Master"?] ^Considering the context, Mistress...that could backfire.^ I left the word "Mistress" as a blank. RD hypnotized me-- ^--so that I could possess him. It was kinda fun when she told him to relax--he bent over completely; his head was touching his knees!^ [Yeah, I can kind of see how that's impressive.] ^You're pretty great at hypnosis, Mistress ^^. (To whoever's reading this) I don't have any problems typing that, by the way.^ After the hypnosis was over, I thought about RD possessing me during my test. [i possessed him on the way there--no hypnosis involved. He's the one writing this, though.] There was definitely a sense of me not piloting my body. ^She was a pretty great singer :).^ [Not tryin' ta toot my own horn, or anything, but...yeah. I was pretty good.] {Nice job on the self-confidence.} [Here's context, readers: Krueger always quiets down if someone walks by him when he's singing. I didn't. Not sure if I got any looks, but I don't really care.] *after my test* ^I'd say it went good.^ (RE: the word trouble) [Okay, from now on, we all possess Krueger when typing our stuff.] ^Agreed.^ Nina: Got it. +Yep.+ Sarah: Got it, I guess, and still waiting on that encapsulation. {Right, Mistress. Obviously, I possessed him just now to type "Mistress".} When I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I saw Shou peeking out from behind the closed shower curtain. For some reason, he appears there when it's dark/the lights are off. At 2:55AM, he said I needed to go to bed.
KruegerMeister May 23, 2015 Author May 23, 2015 5/21/15: Last Thanskgiving, Shou said he was thankful for being alive. I wondered if this was a case of Stockholm Syndrome--my first ever reaction to him was to try to get rid of him, and when that didn't work, I accepted him. When I looked into the Doge meme, Fluttershy said "shiba inus are cute :)." Nina: There's a brunch today! Chocolate donut, hot chocolate...BACON!!! *Swoons* My life is now complete. Me: I thought about our wonderland. Fluttershy said that the previous, massive one (the one with Sugarcube Corner, a beach resort, and a river/gondola) only had room for RD and I, implying that she wasn't there. I theorized that all of my tulpas were more similar to their show counterparts than I thought (such as RD, whose character is a tomboy/rocker, busting a move; or Fluttershy, whose counterpart is an animal-lover, being close to the three 'Meras), but Nina brought up herself as a counterexample. I walked into the bathroom. When I turned around to turn on the light (but before I'd actually turned it on), I saw Shou peeking out from behind the shower curtain, which startled me. +Sorry 'bout that. I guess I picked something up from that FMA fanfic you read, the one where Chimera!Shou cowered in a fetal position.+
KruegerMeister May 26, 2015 Author May 26, 2015 5/22/15: Before my test, Fluttershy told me to trust my gut. RD wondered if it was okay to laugh at Tumblrites who get triggered by a bunch of stuff. I thought about head-pressures, and RD said that it was "like breathing", meaning she does it on instinct. I forgot to log stuff. I think Shou and I worked on possession. I bought Nina one of those egg, bacon, and cheddar breakfast things from Starbucks. Nina: There wasn't enough of a "bacon" taste. Sarah: *sits on a folding chair underneath a banner labelled "intervention"* [O.O] +:P+ 5/23/15: Keystroke helped me study. I spent about an hour listening to his mindvoice, so this was an unintentional lead-in to possession. Later, he possessed me again, but Shou gave me a head-pressure to indicate that he wanted to possess me. I felt a mild pressure during this. I thought about all the times bad stuff hasn't lessened Keystroke's faith in humanity, then back to that one time when he said that he'd lost his faith in humanity (after seeing a "tomgirl" pic). {I regained it. Also, hyperbole.} Sarah, Fluttershy, and Shou cameod in a Let's Play of Bioshock. 5/24/15: A story I'm writing features a cult, so RD said that there should be a subplot involving it. I noticed that she kept repeating thoughts I was about to type, and figured she wanted to possess me. [We need to work on that DIY project.] While I watched a Let's Play of BioShock, Sarah asked how the game didn't give me nightmares. Keystroke said "I have 'em." I told him that he didn't need to do that, and that I remember having dreams that I've written down for the past few days. None of them were nightmares. {Well, I wasn't aware of that when Sarah'd asked.} When one of my friends said that they were a hypnotist, I proxied for Dash to ask what method they used, and if they wanted to compare notes.
KruegerMeister May 28, 2015 Author May 28, 2015 5/25/15: I saw Shou on the sidewalk, and felt the mental impression of his footsteps as he walked behind me. I didn't really do much forcing today. I wondered if the unconscious remembered everything, and if tulpas could access it. Before bed, I asked my tulpas about that, but I don't remember what they said. 5/26/15: Keystroke helped me study. My stomach growled, and RD said I needed to eat. At 1:43PM, RD had me to a thing where I counted down from 100 to get into a deep trance. It last until 2:25PM (we refreshed the count once or twice). Later, I apologized for not logging anything for nine hours. I thought about what to name our wonderland. Fluttershy remarked that it seemed similar to a hypercube--there are separate areas, all "connected" via a shaft of light. RD described this as "very sci-fi". I told a friend of mine about this concept, and he said it didn't seem like a relaxing home. Fluttershy said that it was pretty relaxing, and Rainbow Dash said that it was too relaxing. [As in boring.] {Well, boring-ish.}
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