KM & RD

[KruegerMeister]

4/7/15: I had trouble talking to my tulpas this morning. Dash said I should wait until I was more awake. I felt a head-pressure that lasted a few minutes. I banged my head against a door, which Fluttershy apologized for (implying that it was her fault). There's this one shock value pic of Shou online. I visited an art site, knowing that I might come across it. It looked different than I remembered--Shou said that "[my] memory censored it".

I figured I'd bombed a test, and said that Keystroke might have to be Dusk Shine again, as his studiousness seemed to be linked to his form. When I thought that I'd get a C at best, RD said "Imma haveta ask you to shut up and stop being so pessimistic. Pet."

I looked up pics of Nina, and I found one that looked sort of sad. I tried to figure out why I thought of it that way, by seeing if I didn't interpret it as sad if certain parts were covered up, such as the downward-angled mouth or the downward ears/earflaps. To cover both, I had to put my hands together in a triangle, to which Fluttershy joked "Illuminati confirmed".

I used a mirror to aid in imposing Nina. I wondered if she had an active/participatory role in it, or if it was just me imposing her.

 

Nina: I showed up, didn't I?

 

Me: I asked her if she wanted to cameo in a video I'm planning to make, maybe as a blind character (because of her eyes).

 

*after some googling to find out the term for blank/white eyes, and getting sidetracked on Deviantart*

 

Nina: There is an ask blog. For the tragicest creature in FMA.

 

Me: she said a bunch of stuff about it, but I forgot.

 

Nina: I guess the existence of the blog gave me cognitive dissonance, which lead to an urge to analyze the 2009 episode. It didn't happen, because one of us got a lump--either me or my host got emotional; worked up about something.

 

This (www.deviantart.com/art/Upside-down-face-syndrome-197176886) helped take my mind off it.

 

Me: I promised to spend almost all of tomorrow with her; there aren't any pics of the chimera being happy, so I'll make stuff.

[KruegerMeister]

4/8/15: I tried to re-find the ask blog. Shou said "Maybe you shouldn't do the thing that caused cognitive dissonance."

 

Nina: http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs7/i/2005/191/8/2/Nina__s_Frisbee__colored_by_GoldphishCrackers.jpg

 

Moar. I'd say the chances of finding this were one in a million; the Internet needs more happy stuff.

 

Me: I wondered how to explain tulpas to someone. I thought I could say "this is an AU ask blog", but I wasn't sure that'd work. Nina requested I have a roast-beef-and-cheddar sandwich for dinner. She liked it. We hung out a lot.

[KruegerMeister]

4/9/15: I noticed that three of the notes on my iPhone had mysteriously vanished. RD complimented me on not freaking out over this. I looked through my dream journal, and asked for Fluttershy's opinion on "Fluttershy Gets a Papercut" (which I'd mentioned in my dream journal).

In the hypnosis chatroom, people talked about Discord. This made me briefly think in John De Lancie's voice. When I thought of similarities between me and Discord (he's the spirit of chaos, my wonderland form and wonderland have been revised), RD countered by bringing up that I have routines.

 

[i won't have an emotional outburst.

 

...why am I against walk-ins?]

 

^Nice introspection, Mistress :D^

 

Still a bit weird writing that M-word. I would read about it (so that I'd get used to seeing it), but the fic that readily jumps to mind is one that I regrettably found has a really dark chapter.

 

[He stopped reading at that one.]

 

^Maybe they won't bring it up. Maybe it was just that one chapter.^

 

[i dunno. It's like how...he only had to see that Slenderdash pic once for it to stick with him?]

 

Sarah: I vote for trying it.

 

When I talked to Nina, her response (which I don't remember) was accompanied by an image of her on a black background, with a red "aura"/outline around her body.

I remarked that I hadn't made use of the Trio's shield in a long time.

[KruegerMeister]

4/10/15: RD wondered why (to the best of our knowledge) there weren't many tulpa guides written from the tulpa's perspective. When she hypnotized me, Fluttershy advised using a deduction.

I read the fic with the dark chapter (skipping the dark chapter), but I felt a bit uncomfortable when one of the characters from said chapter cameoed in Chapter 17.

I felt a head-pressure above and just barely behind my left ear when I thought about The Vigilant Christian. Nina indicated that this was her.

I apologized for not logging anything for several hours.

 

[*flatly* We need to work on that. I think you can learn something from Fluttershy.]

 

4/11/15: Fluttershy helped me interpret a dream I had. RD said that there was stuff I'd forgotten to log. She also reminded me that I had homework to do.

A bit of RP went on in a chatroom I was in. Keystroke joined a pony in plot-shaking. When this pony splatted a cake on a third pony's face, Keystroke licked the cake. Some of my tulpas jokingly sent me images from a slightly NSFW animated music video when I tried to get to sleep.

 

4/12/15: When I thought about "saving up for a marathon of awesomeness, and ponies", RD said the two were the same thing.

 

^Because they are.^

 

When I asked Fluttershy if she remembered why/how she started to have romantic feelings for Rainbow Dash, she said that she didn't know.

There was stuff I forgot to log.

 

[Dammit.]

 

I let RD hypnotize me.

 

I wrote "I let RD hypnotize me" before any hypnosis had occurred, as a form of consent, because I trusted her not to do anything I wouldn't like.

 

[*offhandedly* I could make you like it.]

 

We both know that's bull.

 

[i know :). I'm just messin' with ya.]

 

Turns out no hypnosis occurred. Well, it sort of did, but we didn't get anything near a full session. I asked Dash how I should approach my parents about the topic of circumcision. She said "Yeeeah, weee're just gonna stay outta this. I mean, we weren't around when the issue happened..." When I read about circumcision before bed, she pointed out that I was getting myself worked up.

[KruegerMeister]

4/13/15: there was stuff I forgot to log.

 

[*facehoof, followed by repeated facedesk*]

 

When I found a diagram for an origami vase, Shou indicated that he wanted to try folding it. I was able to briefly relinquish control of my arms, but I accidentally took it back. I was able to relinquish control again by imagining my arms being his, which he turned into a visualization of him physically holding and moving my arms.

 

Shou: I'd say we're doing pretty good. You did a good job getting over your fear, I did a good job with my part.

 

Me: I said that we hadn't done much with imposition. RD said that she'd work on it. I said "good luck". She sent me an image of her getting ready to leap off a cloud and confidently said, "I don't need luck."

I asked her how similar she was to Canon!RD.

 

[if I do something good, I'll take pride in it. Sort-of hubris, but not like in that Mare-Do-Well episode; that was extreme.]

 

When I said "G'night Dashie. Sweet dreams", she asked me why I was "being so corny".

[KruegerMeister]

4/14/15: RD said that her mane trouble stemmed from the appearance of the SFM model; from the front, her mane looks fine, but from the side, it sticks out like it was overly-conditioned. Keystroke expressed disbelief that this was a problem, since they're "magical ponies. With pockets in [their] flanks."

I tried to let Shou possess me, but he observed that I was resisting. RD hypnotized me and commanded me to let him move my arms. The hypnosis almost faded, but RD got me back into a trance. This time, I let Shou fully possess me, and imagined his body over mine.

I asked a friend a tulpa-related question, and he gravely misinterpreted it, thinking that Shou, Nina, and Sarah represented darker aspects of myself because of how they look. I asked the three 'Meras if they were shaken up by this, and Shou said I was the only one who was.

One of my friends said that hosts called tulpas, not created them. RD said that she was experiencing cognitive dissonance, since her friend essentially said that tulpas are metaphysical.

[KruegerMeister]

4/15/15: RD thought about the "calling, not creating" thing in relation to her memory of me listing her traits.

Apparently, falling for the "hypnosis site change" prank left me emotionally scarred, such that I react poorly to being pranked or being told phrases such as "you don't say?". I asked Fluttershy if she could help heal the scars.

 

^I'm pretty sure this is helping, Krueger; you're getting it out in the open.^

 

When I went into our wonderland, I started to talk to her, but Keystroke's voice echoed mine. He said he wanted to merge with me; I pointed out that he was talking about integration (which I've heard is traumatic and merely temporary).

 

{*thoughtful* You...said you wouldn't log the stuff with me.}

 

Shut up, please. Dammit, I forgot my place. The gist of it is that his desire to merge was a heat-of-the-moment thing. I was weirded out because there was precedent: on his first day as Dusk Shine, he promised that "Dusk Shine" was a phase, and it was; in late August 2014 (I think the 23rd, or shortly after), he said he was fine with merging with me. I said that I was too invested in him as a friend. RD didn't want him to leave, either, and she's pretty much his superior.

When I thought about origami, Shou said he wanted to fold an origami vase.

Nina told me that she wanted to talk my friend (the one who'd said she was some dark part of me), but was worried that he'd see her as a delusion of mine.

[KruegerMeister]

4/16/15: When Keystroke learned what "Bist du Heißt?" meant, he requested brain bleach. I saw a pic of FiM!Rainbow Dash with her mane flowing toward the right despite absence of a breeze, and wondered if her mane was naturally like that. RD commented on this, and I replied; somehow we got to her asking if it was legal for her to resemble FiM!Dash.

There was stuff I forgot to log.

One of my friends said that I shouldn't disbelieve in New Age stuff, or something like that, just because there isn't any evidence of it. I felt like a hypocrite for believing that "what if"s are generally pointless, despite the fact that tulpamancy is frigging built on "what if"; "what would my tulpa do or say if they were in this situation?" The whole "there could be evidence in the future" thing messed me up pretty badly; I had trouble sensing my tulpas during this time. I thought about it, and maybe I mistook lack of mindvoice response for being given the cold shoulder.

 

^Introspection's good :).^

[KruegerMeister]

4/17/15: At first, I had some trouble hearing RD's mindvoice. She said she was just tired. When I brushed my teeth, I used the bathroom mirror and "Tubby Wubby Pony Waifu" to aid imposition. I was sort of able to impose her via the mirror, but she said that she'd try appearing more imposed on the other side of the bathroom door. This worked, but she said she'd try again in my bedroom. When I walked into my room, I saw her hovering by my bookcase. When I walked to class, she told me she'd impose myself on the couch around a corner. She did, in flash-animated form.

 

[i feel like, we haven't done imposition in a while, we should probly start from the basics.]

 

I tried to figure out if I'd created RD or "called" her. She sent me an image of herself tapping her chin, so I guess she's wondering that too.

 

[Yep! I mean, I have that memory of the void, but...what literature there is seems like it relegates "calling" to metaphysics/supernatural stuff.

Oh, clarificatory note: that's "literature" like .info articles, by the way.]

 

I noticed that my cat was unusually soft, and asked my tulpas if they could feel how soft she was.

RD and I talked about cutie marks.

 

[*rubs chin* Hmmm...the Mane 6 had their personalities in Magical Mystery Cure--]

 

{But they had different talents.}

 

^Is Meghan McCarthy still the writer, though?^

 

[And the equals sign episode connected cutie marks to personalities.]

 

^Apparently. We...haven't seen the episode yet :P.^

 

{You know, Mistress, I'd just chalk it up to phlebotinum.}

 

My friend wanted to watch a gameshow about psychics. I told RD that she didn't have to be around for this.

In the opening credits of "Pulse", RD flew through the "sky" portion of the Distant Horizon logo, and Keystroke ran down the reel/road portion. RD flew through a blank text box/field. Nina appeared in a burst of static.

In the movie proper, RD appeared in a hallway of flickering lights. After that, none of my tulpas appeared for a while.

 

[We're waiting for a good scene.]

 

RD appeared as a decal on a white car. She also appeared in one of the "Do You Want To See A Ghost?" clips, in a white room.

 

[i'd show up in one of the monochrome scenes, but I don't think I can do monochrome.]

 

What do you think about the "[the movie's monsters] can't exist without a [WiFi] signal" line?

 

{Eh, it sorta fits tulpas. Far as I know, we can't exist without you and neural signals going to your brain.}

 

I watched part of the video "Rainbow Dash on Her Book" and didn't realize until halfway through that it was in SFM, so could be used as an imposition aid.

 

[Or, you could use the WebGL Pony Creator for that SFM look.]

 

I tried to watch the whole video, but, as Rainbow Dash said, "[my] Internet's crap. Bars: none."

 

When I watched "The Cutie Map, Part 1", RD wondered if "Developed for Television by Lauren Faust" should be part of the opening credits since she doesn't work on the show anymore.

 

^Well, it does say "developed".^

 

[Are we getting into overanalysis territory?]

 

{Wouldn't it be something if we did reviews?}

 

In my opinion, the scene where the ponies decide to follow the map was just the...I don't know how to word it.

 

[Just the right amount of girly and not? You've got Rarity talking about fashion, Pinkie Pie mentioning baking, bla bla bla. Then there's Rainbow Dash saying it'll be a dangerous adventure.]

 

I realized that I was so hooked on the awesomeness of the premier that I didn't care if my dad knew I was watching MLP. I felt the mental impression of RD brohoofing me in response.

 

^ ^^ ^

 

[The stallion who commented on Twilight being an Alicorn...sounded like a stalker perv. The white stallion with blue eyes sounded monotone.

 

*a few minutes later*

 

I'd say Starlight's a Knight Templar.

 

Re: Sugar What's-her-name: looks like we were right about cutie marks not being personality.]

 

^Oh, Mistress Dash, this is just awesome ^^ .^

 

[Maybe I'm projecting, but...yeah, I'm probably projecting; your über-happiness weirded me out a bit, but only cause we're watching an ep about ponies who are happy to the point of creepy.]

 

^*intentionally large grin, mirroring the fishy smiles of Equalized ponies*^

 

Shou: Lol at the ponies fangasming over the Mane Six.

 

Nina: Is this (reviewing episodes) legal?

 

^We aren't making money off it. People are paying for Internet service, but we aren't directly selling anything.^

 

When I watched Part 2 of the episode, I asked Fluttershy how she felt about it.

 

^Meh, I know I'm not her (FiM!Fluttershy).^

 

I'm not sure what to make of it, but it seems like there's a difference between Tulpa!RD's singing voice and FiM!RD's. I noticed this during "Make This Castle a Home".

 

[Didn't you extrapolate (my singing voice) from "Find A Pet"?]

 

I don't remember.

 

[Again: mindvoice vs audio. That's probably it.]

 

Shou: (re: Castle Sweet Castle) "Celestia" as a substitute for "God" is now canon :D. This makes me happy for some reason.

 

Me: Wait, I voiced that thought, but your image popped into my head when I said it.

 

[Let's just relegate that to "Momentary Mysteries". For those who don't know, Momentary Mysteries is a thing that was mentioned in...I think June of last year: "ohh, this is weird/interesting--meh, bored of it now.".

 

*sees the spa/massage scene* --And is that the first time Aloe/Lotus spoke?

 

*sings Applejack's line of the song reprise* It's not the things thatcha gather 'round--Yep, definitely a mindvoice-vs-audio thing.]

 

^(Re: mindvoice vs audio) W00t!^

[KruegerMeister]

4/18/15: ^I'm assuming the review's legal. We aren't posting any videos, just our thoughts on the episodes.^

 

When I got a haircut, Dash possessed me and asked for a rinse. She joked (to me) about not liking her hooves touched.

When I got a Tarot reading, Dash and I tried to work on vocal possession. We kept falling out of it. Eventually, she just settled for making mocking commentary on the reading.

 

[We're outta practice, in terms of possession.]

 

I forgot to log some stuff.

 

[A lot of stuff.]