KM & RD

[Akinkinit]

For whatever reason when I read your entries I imagine you and your tulpas having a delightful tea party as you all recall the day's events.

[KruegerMeister]

I do my best to write down each event as it happens.

---

2/7/15: I noticed that the collar Keystroke had tried on was pure white--the color he'd changed his coat to during his "true self or not?" crisis. I did about 30 sit-ups, and went to grab a snack. RD suggested using the reward of a snack as motivation to finish exercising. When I watched the video for "Awesome As I Wanna Be", she pretended to have the start of an existential crisis. I came up with "tightrope made of entrails" as a prop in a demented circus; this seemed cliche, making me wonder if I'd lost my edge as a horror writer. Keystroke suggested watching Silent Hill. I asked RD if she wanted to talk to my counsellor. She said she was "kinda curious about it". I asked her if she meant in the way that Keystroke was curious about domination/submission (trying something out, and taking a liking to it pretty quickly), but then I went on a tangent about whether or not he and Dash are "really" in a relationship. I remembered that there was a bit of short-lived animosity between them on 8/23/14, and wondered what that had been about.

 

{Hopefully it's a predictor of my relationship with your parents; we start off bad, but then everything's cool. Are you sure you can hide it until the music video comes out?}

 

Yeah.

Fluttershy and I discussed the "I wanna obey, Dashie" thing. She said that, "I was kind of scared to make myself known. I mean, you'd contemplated getting rid of your first accidental tulpa." Going off of my memory of the event, I asked her if she'd "intentionally disguised her mindvoice" during it.

 

Fluttershy: Well, I guess I just let you think it was [Keystroke].

 

I double-checked the entry for 9/27/14: "without even thinking, I said 'I wanna obey, Dashie'". There's no mention of a mindvoice in there. I'm kind of worried that this information debunks/contradicts the "disguised mindvoice" idea that Fluttershy initially responded to, thereby insinuating that she isn't sentient (as she'd made that statement without all the information)

 

Fluttershy:...The fact is, I'm sentient, I kept myself well-hidden, that's that. People don't have perfect memories.

 

^You could say that your statement about Keystroke is still valid, but I'd be skeptical/think you're doing a "god of the gaps"/shoehorning type thing. Or maybe that I'm delusional and trying to rationalize inconsistencies.

 

Fluttershy: He offered an explanation for it, and I let you believe it. I was scared of what you'd do to me.

 

When I posted about this on the MLP tulpa thread, and reviewed my post, Fluttershy said "people forget things", that her two statements weren't mutually exclusive, and that my mindvoice question had been a leading question.

[KruegerMeister]

2/8/15: I worked on imposition. I was able to see Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash in SFM form, but only when my eyes weren't focused on them.

 

[babadook. Use the Walter Mitty Routine.]

 

^I don't know. It just seems cooler to watch movies live.

 

I tried to improve visual imposition. Dash said that SFM-style pony bodies looked fine, but SFM-style heads seemed off.

 

[The muzzles and mouths are too big (from the front).]

 

When I watched www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAd8Qtf5eFU, I wondered why "meep" was an inherently funny word.

 

[Here's some crazy shit: "meep" has two e's. Make the m a d and the last e an r. "Derp".]

 

I asked RD about the "blink/bedroom eyes" thing that happens with ponies (if you pause a clip of a pony mid-blink, it looks like bedroom eyes). Instead of answering, she sent me an image of herself on a beach, in a green two-piece swimsuit, making bedroom eyes at me. She said that even though I'd thought of the image first, it had no impact on her sentience.

 

[Name the last time someone had an original thought.]

 

When I watched www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8VZG6vN1F0, Dash said "NOBODY hurts Pinkie Pie!" at the 2:28 mark. When I asked who would win in a fight between ponies and zombies, she said "Ponies win vs everything." When I hummed "Tubby Wubby Pony Waifu", she told me to save it for Babadook.

[KruegerMeister]

2/9/15: When my friend asked if I had any preferred nicknames, I asked Keystroke if he wanted to possess me (in which case I'd give the person Keystroke's name, so that Keystroke can be acknowledged). He said that he didn't.

I realized something: my telepathic aliens' eyes stop glowing when they die, and/or when the telepathic link is cut off; an alien who is disconnected from and then reconnected to this link can be said to have "died and come back". Dash said that I could have an alien be cut off for three days, to draw a parallel between it and Jesus. I said that her idea was great, then said that the euphoric/epiphanic feeling may have made me think it was. I imagined Sarah and Nina one-upping each other, then wondered if this is something they'd actually do. Nina said "I think it's sort of a 'vitriolic best buds' thing." Sarah happily/excitedly said "I think I'm overcompensating for my Slenderdash days." She sounded like Megami33's dub of Serena in Sailor Moon Abridged when she said that.

I asked RD "What do you think?" (about whatever), and saw her in SFM form. In fact, I saw most of my tulpas in SFM form (Nina was white with brown hair instead of beige with red/orange hair).

[KruegerMeister]

2/10/15: I felt an itch on the back of my head, right where Fluttershy is. I asked her if she'd caused it, and she said it was "just a random itch". I briefly imagined a story in which Rainbow Dash becomes corporeal and physically assaults anti-vaxxers.

 

[i'd probably do that. I mean I know they just wanna protect their kids--]

 

{They're doing it wrong.}

 

When "How Bad Can I Be?" was stuck in my head, RD asked "Can you please get that out of your head?"

I asked my tulpas if they were okay despite the lack of forcing between 9:00AM and 10:30PM today, to which RD responded with a facehoof.

 

{Things to do while he (Krueger) sleeps: get an SFM look, *checks brown mane* get my goddamn mane the right color, *checks long, brown tail* give my tail a major trim...human-to-pony size proportions.}

 

When I clicked on a tumblr page about the Illuminati, Fluttershy asked "Are you sure you should read that?"

 

When I watched www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8MiTAlb4uk, Dash responded to 1:34 with "Dude...you hurt Fluttershy...and I'll kill you. Have you seen how friggin' adorable she is!?"

[KruegerMeister]

2/11/15: I turned an imaginary dial, and heard "Tubby Wubby Pony Waifu" in my head. This time, it was Keystroke doing a duet with Rainbow Dash.

While my counsellor said that talking to RD or Keystroke seemed off-topic, RD said that we needed to expand our wonderland. I thought about substituting a friend of mine for my counsellor (as a friend wouldn't have any obligations to stick to a certain topic). When I wondered why some tulpas help their hosts improve, RD said "I guess we're just wired that way."

I tried to visualize a CGI model of Shou from multiple angles, but either his body was subtly misshapen, or I visualized a 2d model instead of a 3d model.

I suggested that RD and Keystroke work on songwriting as I fall asleep. They came up with this: the first verses introduce -isms. The second verses use an emotional appeal to say "these -isms are bad".

 

[The bridge could be a motivational thing; "this is what happens if those -isms stop".]

[KruegerMeister]

2/12/15: RD said that I needed to get better at logging the things that happen first thing in the morning. I felt an ache in my left ear. Fluttershy apologized for this. When I thought about how to make a universally popular youtube video, Dash said "I don't think we can engineer that without coming off as try-hard." To figure out what key she sang in, I had her sing a line from "Under Our Spell". According to my gut, she sang in the key of F, as opposed to the original key of D.

 

[According to me, my singing skills are rusty.]

 

After I went on a Q&A site about music, Keystroke said, "See, it says right there, 'the key of F major is generally good for untrained voices.' It also says that D's good, but we're trying for authenticity. It has to sound like Rainbow Dash is the one singing."

 

[You sure we can do this?]

 

Fluttershy: *confident nod*

 

[it should have an R&B beat, something you can bop your head to.]

 

{Got it. *flies off*}

 

After RD did a few vocalizing exercises, she came to the conclusion that she was more of a D#.

 

[This is a lot more work than I thought it'd be. We can get through it though. 'Cause we're all totally awesome!]

 

{*high-hoof with RD, then group hug with her and Fluttershy*}

 

I thought about the possibility of including my tulpas in a book, but then I realized that I couldn't do that without infringing copyright. When I sang "Battle of the Bands", RD, Keystroke, and Fluttershy applauded. I used a dark window as a mirror to impose RD. She reached a hoof/hand through the glass. I felt a head-pressure, which she ascribed to rusty imposition. When I walked into my room and turned on the light, I saw her hovering there. The head-pressure seemed to "cool off" momentarily when I took a gulp of cold water. She gave me another head-pressure when I saw an Angry Birds ad. I had to ask her why several times before she told me, "I guess I just don't like Angry Birds."

 

^you fought through an invisible crowd after I asked what you'd said.

 

[it doesn't mean anything.]

[KruegerMeister]

2/13/15: I was hit with sudden inspiration for a tune. I wasn't sure if this was from Keystroke or not.

I asked RD if she wanted to do the Walter Mitty Routine in Babadook. She said that if I left my room and walked back in, I'd see her imposed in it. This placebo worked.

While I watched Babadook, I thought "this is like the tulpa creepypasta, but with a little kid". Sarah gave me a slight headache in response. I saw RD through a window in the background of one scene. I thought about the similarities between Dash's void memory and Yogananda's claim of being conscious in his mother's womb. RD suggested that her stance on New Age stuff--

 

[i think it's more of a stance on alternative medicine.]

 

--was due in part to my reaction to the tarot card reading I'd interpreted as being about her. While shopping on Amazon, I asked my tulpas if they wanted anything. Fluttershy said, "I'm a fan of peanut M&Ms, but it's your credit card. I get the feeling you don't really like them."

I responded by saying that they were bland to me, but that I'd eat them so that she could taste them

[KruegerMeister]

2/14/15: I'd almost forgotten that today was Valentine's Day. I asked RD if she had any special plans; Fluttershy said that Fluttershy wanted to spend time with her.

 

[she just made the cutest face I've ever seen.]

 

Someone left a Valentines note taped to my door. RD teased me about it being a date. I got nervous about knocking on the door to the sender's room (the number was on the card), so I had Keystroke possess me. I popped my wrist, then I wondered if a tulpa could massage out knots from the inside-out by possessing the host and sending electrical signals to the knotted muscle(s). While I was trying to fall asleep, Shou suggested expanding our wonderland.

[KruegerMeister]

2/15/15: I randomly wondered about the psychic cord I'd set up. Dash said that it had "kind of atrophied". When I thought about looking up "Shatter Me illuminati", Fluttershy said "We all know about the 'illuminati' symbolism." I asked my tulpas if one of them would, in late September or early August, remind me to set recordings for new MLP episodes.

 

[sure.]

 

Gracias.

 

[Danke. Dankeshun?]

 

When I looked up the German word for "you're welcome", she facehoofed (it's "bitte").

 

I tried to apply the "fetishes stem from childhood" idea to Keystroke and Fluttershy's D/S activities with Rainbow Dash. Keystroke was easy enough (the hypnosis that created him involved D/S), but Fluttershy stumped me (is this too sexual)?

 

[*facehoof*]

 

I did some thinking, and came to the conclusion that making Rainbow Dash wasn't just an experiment to see if tulpas are possible or not; if personality traits are the input in a function, then the tulpa is the output.

 

{One question...what's the function?}

 

[A request to your brain.]

 

I wondered if Fluttershy's memories were confabulated, and came to the conclusion that it was her word vs that of my inner doubting skeptic, so there's more against that idea than for.

When I turned the light off to go to bed, I saw RD in SFM form, in a rocky area (most likely a map in Team Fortress 2). I wondered why this always happened at bedtime, and she said that, "I think you conditioned yourself. It's pretty cool." I asked her if "condition[ing] myself" was a strike against tulpa sentience, and she expressed that it wasn't by saying that: "'Tubby Wubby Pony Waifu' conditioned you; hot chocolate conditioned you. It's like you say in those imaginary conversations with your mom, if you're crazy, kids with imaginary friends are crazy."

 

{There aren't really any implications. Your parents "conditioned you" to walk, right?}